| [02:06.-2] | Never mind. But it was gonna be really good. |
| [02:36.-2] | Does that mean we have to start buying our own toilet paper? |
| [04:48.-2] | I don't. |
| [05:03.-1] | I love my life! I love my life! |
| [06:50.-4] | Well,I don't know.... |
| [06:56.-3] | That monkey is a chick magnet. |
| [07:55.-4] | Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests... 8 |
| [09:44.-3] | And I'm maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics. |
| [13:02.-3] | I want Okay,I want... |
| [15:34.-1] | Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. |
| [17:49.-4] | Everything smells so delicious. |
| [19:16.-2] | ...but in a few minutes, we'll serve some tartlets. |
| [20:06.-1] | -You don't wanna spoil your appetite. -Hey,Sugar-O's! - |
| [23:41.-3] | How's this? |
| [23:50.-2] | How about this? |
| [00:02.55] | Coffee. |
| [00:04.05] | -Thank you. -Cappuccino. - |
| [00:07.59] | And a nice,hot cider for Monica. |
| [00:10.82] | Thank you. |
| [00:13.00] | Rach,why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? |
| [00:20.83] | That's why. |
| [00:23.30] | Sorry. |
| [00:27.14] | The One With The Stoned Guy |
| [01:21.49] | Chandler? |
| [01:23.93] | Miss Tedlock,you look lovely today. |
| [01:26.50] | That is a very flattering sleeve length on you. |
| [01:32.00] | Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today. |
| [01:36.88] | If it's about those prank memos, I wasn't involved. |
| [01:40.88] | Nothing at all. Really. |
| [01:45.42] | And frankly,those shenanigans have no place in an office environment. |
| [01:57.00] | Hey,you guys! |
| [01:58.66] | Chandler's coming and he has incredible news. |
| [02:01.80] | So when he gets here, let's all act,like,you know |
| [02:09.71] | What's going on? |
| [02:11.34] | So it's a typical day at work... |
| [02:14.28] | ...and Big Al tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. |
| [02:19.52] | -That is great! -Congratulations! |
| [02:21.82] | So I quit. |
| [02:24.56] | Why? |
| [02:26.09] | Why? This was a temp job. |
| [02:28.53] | Chandler,you've been there for five years. |
| [02:31.56] | I know,but if I took it,I'd be admitting that this is what I do. |
| [02:41.24] | That was Joey Tribbiani with the big picture. Dan? |
| [02:45.34] | Was it more money? |
| [02:46.91] | Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be a guy who sits in his office... |
| [02:51.68] | ...worrying about the WENUS. |
| [02:56.29] | The "WENUS"? "WENUS"? |
| [02:57.92] | Weekly estimated net usage system. It's a processing term. " |
| [03:02.39] | Oh,that WENUS. |
| [03:05.86] | What will you do? |
| [03:07.27] | I don't know. But I won't figure it out working there. |
| [03:11.84] | I have something you can do! |
| [03:14.27] | I have this new massage client,Steve. |
| [03:18.18] | Anyway,he's opening up a restaurant... |
| [03:21.08] | ...and he's looking for a head chef. |
| [03:26.32] | -Hi,there. -Hi. |
| [03:29.35] | I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first. |
| [03:33.16] | But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now,so.... |
| [03:38.23] | I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience. |
| [03:41.47] | Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. |
| [03:45.54] | What is he looking for? |
| [03:47.61] | He wants to do something eclectic. |
| [03:50.04] | He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu. |
| [03:54.88] | So,what do you think? |
| [03:58.25] | Thanks. I just don't see myself in a big,white hat. |
| [04:04.79] | Oh,Monica! Guess what? |
| [04:09.73] | a perfect run-up and there he goes,a perfect.... |
| [04:13.93] | Watch stuff like this... |
| [04:15.83] | ...and you realize why evolution is just a theory. |
| [04:23.74] | Can you see my nipples through this shirt? |
| [04:28.55] | No,but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there. |
| [04:33.12] | Where are you going? |
| [04:34.79] | I have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman,career counselor-a-go-go! |
| [04:41.53] | -I added the "a-go-go." -Career counselor? - |
| [04:44.90] | You guys all know what you want to do. |
| [04:49.93] | You guys in the living room all know what you want to do. |
| [04:53.81] | You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! |
| [04:57.74] | The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech. |
| [05:05.88] | "Brian's Song"! |
| [05:10.46] | -The meeting went great? -So great! - |
| [05:13.42] | He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be. |
| [05:16.73] | It's not too big or too small. It's just right. |
| [05:20.30] | Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? |
| [05:24.47] | I'm cooking for him Monday, kind of an audition. |
| [05:28.11] | Phoebe,he wants you here. It's great. You can make yummy noises. |
| [05:33.01] | -What are you gonna make? -Yummy noises. - |
| [05:37.35] | -And Monica,what are you gonna make? -I don't know. It's gotta be great. |
| [05:42.49] | I know what you can make! I know! |
| [05:45.00] | You should make that thing with the stuff. |
| [05:49.56] | You know that thing with the stuff? |
| [05:54.53] | Okay,I don't know. |
| [05:57.67] | Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? |
| [06:01.04] | How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak,it's free. |
| [06:09.11] | Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma? |
| [06:13.92] | -Who are you going out with? -ls this the bug lady? - |
| [06:17.82] | "I love you,Ross." |
| [06:21.69] | Her name is Celia and she's insect curator at the museum. |
| [06:27.63] | -What are you gonna do? -Go out to dinner... - |
| [06:31.47] | ...then bring her back to my place and introduce her to my monkey. |
| [06:37.88] | And he's not speaking metaphorically. |
| [06:42.88] | So back to your place? You thinking maybe.... |
| [06:52.82] | I'm hoping.... |
| [06:58.40] | She'll take one look at his cute, little face and it'll seal the deal. |
| [07:05.10] | Celia,don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you! |
| [07:09.24] | Soothing tones. |
| [07:12.11] | -Here,Marcel. -I can't stand this. |
| [07:16.21] | -He's got his claws on my -Yeah,all right. |
| [07:27.16] | Okay,try this salmon mousse. |
| [07:31.53] | Good. |
| [07:33.06] | Is it better than the other salmon mousse? |
| [07:36.27] | -It's creamier. -Yeah? Well,is that better? - |
| [07:40.30] | I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish. |
| [07:44.74] | I'm just happy I'm keeping it down. |
| [07:53.02] | God,what happened to you? |
| [07:58.12] | ...intelligence tests,personality tests,and what do I learn? |
| [08:03.09] | "You're suited for data processing for a large multinational corporation." |
| [08:09.17] | That's so great! You already know how to do that. |
| [08:13.17] | Can you believe it? |
| [08:15.17] | Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool? |
| [08:18.88] | I just always pictured myself doing something.... |
| [08:23.05] | Something! |
| [08:24.52] | Chandler,I know,I know. |
| [08:28.12] | Hey,you can see your nipples through this shirt. |
| [08:35.53] | Maybe this will cheer you up. |
| [08:38.66] | I had a grape about five hours ago, so I better split this with you. 5 |
| [08:44.30] | It's supposed to be small. It's a pre-appetizer. |
| [08:47.81] | The French call it an amuse-bouche. |
| [08:53.54] | Well,it is amusing. |
| [09:03.82] | Hi,Wendy. Yeah,8:00. |
| [09:07.89] | What did we say,$10 an hour? |
| [09:10.80] | Okay,great. All right,I'll see you then. |
| [09:14.57] | -$10 an hour for what? -A waitress from work is helping me. - |
| [09:19.47] | Waitressing? |
| [09:24.41] | Of course I thought of you. But.... |
| [09:28.75] | -But.... -But,but.... |
| [09:32.48] | But it's just this night has to go just perfect,you know? |
| [09:37.49] | Wendy's more of a professional waitress. |
| [09:52.54] | I don't mean to brag,but I waited tables at lnnsbruck in '76. |
| [09:59.31] | Took home a bronze. |
| [10:04.42] | Amuse-bouche? |
| [10:23.43] | Talk to me. |
| [10:29.57] | A weird thing happened on the train this morning |
| [10:33.11] | Talk dirty. |
| [10:39.08] | -Here? -Come on. Come on |
| [10:43.39] | Say something hot. |
| [10:48.23] | What? What? |
| [10:56.73] | Vulva. |
| [11:11.58] | Vulva? |
| [11:14.85] | I panicked,all right? She took me by surprise. |
| [11:19.29] | But it wasn't a total loss. We ended up cuddling. |
| [11:23.39] | You cuddled? How many times? |
| [11:27.70] | Shut up. It was nice. |
| [11:30.07] | I don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy. |
| [11:33.34] | Just say what you wanna do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. |
| [11:38.28] | Or what other people might be doing to each other. |
| [11:41.85] | I'll tell you what. Try something on me. |
| [11:47.52] | Please be kidding. |
| [11:51.69] | Why not? |
| [11:53.16] | Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. |
| [12:04.54] | I'm in my apartment.... |
| [12:07.47] | -Yeah,what else? -You're not there. |
| [12:10.07] | -We're not having this conversation. -All right,I'll start. Ready? - |
| [12:16.78] | Oh,Ross... |
| [12:20.45] | ...you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. |
| [12:29.93] | -Now you say something. -I really don't think so. - |
| [12:33.33] | You like this woman,right? You wanna see her again,right? |
| [12:38.10] | If you can't talk dirty to me, how will you talk dirty to her? |
| [12:42.64] | Now tell me you wanna caress my butt! |
| [12:48.91] | Okay,turn around. |
| [12:51.82] | I don't want you staring at me. |
| [12:54.49] | All right,I'm not looking. Go ahead. |
| [12:57.39] | Okay. Ok. |
| [13:05.40] | ...to feel your hot,soft skin with my lips. |
| [13:10.20] | There you go. IKeep going,keep going. |
| [13:19.41] | I want to take my tongue and |
| [13:31.66] | Say it. |
| [13:36.00] | Say it! |
| [13:38.43] | run it all over your body... |
| [13:43.50] | ... until you're trembling with |
| [14:05.09] | With? |
| [14:08.89] | -Funny story. -You're not gonna believe this. - |
| [14:12.70] | I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. |
| [14:19.20] | -The trembling thing was nice. -Shut up! - |
| [14:22.51] | That guy from your old job called again. |
| [14:26.24] | -Again? -And again and again and again. |
| [14:35.09] | And again. |
| [14:37.52] | Hey,Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 1 5th floor? |
| [14:42.26] | Yeah,I miss you too. |
| [14:44.13] | It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. |
| [14:50.23] | That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. |
| [14:54.41] | I need more than a job. I need something I really care ab |
| [14:59.34] | That's on top of the year-end bonus? |
| [15:02.58] | Your dream! |
| [15:04.15] | Look,Al,I'm not playing hardball here,okay? |
| [15:07.75] | This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! |
| [15:13.02] | Stop saying numbers! |
| [15:14.73] | I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! |
| [15:18.36] | I'll see you Monday! |
| [15:39.72] | This is a cube! |
| [15:42.25] | Look at this. |
| [15:47.32] | You have a window! |
| [15:50.49] | Yes,indeed-y. With a beautiful view of |
| [15:53.86] | Look! That guy's peeing! |
| [15:57.74] | That's enough of the view. Check this out. |
| [16:01.67] | Okay,sit down here. |
| [16:03.74] | This is great. |
| [16:06.64] | -You ready? -Yeah. |
| [16:09.21] | Helen,could you come in here? |
| [16:17.02] | Thank you,Helen. That'll be all. |
| [16:20.93] | Last time I do that. I promise. |
| [16:28.10] | -She doesn't seem very warm. -I know. She has no personality. - |
| [16:37.34] | Wendy,don't do this to me. |
| [16:40.08] | We had a deal. Yeah,you promised. |
| [16:51.29] | -Who was that? -Wendy bailed. - |
| [16:56.33] | I have no waitress. |
| [16:59.76] | That's too bad. Bye-bye. |
| [17:04.90] | Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour! |
| [17:08.41] | I wish I could,but I've made plans to walk around. |
| [17:13.04] | When you ran out on your wedding, I was there. |
| [17:16.41] | I put a roof over your head! If that means nothing.... |
| [17:21.09] | Twenty dollars an hour. |
| [17:24.25] | Done. |
| [17:32.20] | Hello. Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat? |
| [17:39.40] | -Hi,Steve. -Hello,Monica. - |
| [17:41.57] | Hello,greeter girl. |
| [17:44.38] | -This is Rachel. -Yeah,okay. |
| [17:51.28] | I can't remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of |
| [17:55.79] | Okay,smells. |
| [17:58.59] | -It's a lovely apartment. -Thank you. Would you like a tour? - |
| [18:03.26] | I was just being polite, but all right. |
| [18:09.20] | -What's up? -ln the cab on the way over... - |
| [18:12.20] | ...Steve blazed up a doobie. |
| [18:16.01] | What? 什么? |
| [18:17.54] | Smoked a joint,you know? Lit a bone. Weed,hemp,ganja |
| [18:23.45] | I'm with you,Cheech. |
| [18:27.45] | -Do you think he's gonna be cool? -ls it dry in here? - |
| [18:34.59] | Let me get you some wine. |
| [18:37.03] | I think we're ready for our first course too. |
| [18:42.67] | These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce... |
| [18:47.60] | ...with just a touch of minced... |
| [18:55.18] | ...ginger. |
| [18:57.21] | Well,smack my ass and call me Judy! |
| [19:03.59] | -These are fantastic! -Gosh! I'm so glad you liked them. - |
| [19:08.00] | Like them? I could eat 100 of them! |
| [19:13.60] | That's all there is of these... |
| [19:19.84] | "Tartlets"? |
| [19:21.71] | "Tartlets." |
| [19:24.21] | "Tartlets." |
| [19:27.74] | Word has lost all meaning. |
| [19:36.12] | Excuse me. Can I help you with anything? |
| [19:39.19] | You know,I don't know what I'm looking for. |
| [19:58.01] | Cool! Taco shells! |
| [20:02.41] | They're like a little corn envelope,you know? |
| [20:11.16] | You know,if you just wait another 6 1 /2 minutes |
| [20:14.76] | Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! |
| [20:22.33] | -No,we don't. -Oh,okay. - |
| [20:27.14] | Sorry. |
| [20:32.71] | Why don't you just have a seat here? |
| [20:40.92] | -Give me the gummy bears. -No. - |
| [20:46.69] | -Give them to me. -We'll share. - |
| [20:49.03] | -No. Give me the bears. -You can't have any. - |
| [20:52.70] | It's not worth it! |
| [20:55.07] | Bears overboard! They're drowning! |
| [20:59.50] | Don't just stand there. Call 9-1 -1. |
| [21:03.44] | Hey,fellas,grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! |
| [21:07.21] | Help! Help,I'm drowning! |
| [21:12.65] | -That's it! Dinner is over! -What! Why? - |
| [21:16.39] | Why? What if I came into your office and I started...? |
| [21:21.56] | I can't think of an example. |
| [21:23.53] | I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this... |
| [21:27.23] | ...and you can't wait 4 1 /2 minutes for a tartlet? |
| [21:39.41] | So I told him, "I'm sorry. That's how I feel." |
| [21:42.58] | And he told me I harsh-ed his buzz. |
| [21:47.12] | Then I said,"Don't eat that. It's a kitchen magnet." |
| [21:52.52] | And he didn't listen, so we left him in the emergency room. |
| [21:57.66] | -Mon,I'm sorry. -What a tool. - |
| [22:02.27] | -You did the right thing. -You don't wanna work for that guy. - |
| [22:07.47] | I just thought that this was it. |
| [22:10.57] | -Don't worry. You're an amazing chef. -Those yummy noises? I wasn't faking. - |
| [22:17.31] | Am I gonna get paid for the full three hours? |
| [22:20.42] | Just a question. We'll talk about it later. |
| [22:28.16] | So,how did it go with Celia? |
| [22:31.86] | -I was unbelievable. -All right,Ross! - |
| [22:36.20] | I was the James Michener of dirty talk. |
| [22:39.07] | It was the most elaborate filth ever heard. |
| [22:42.01] | I mean,there were characters, plot lines,themes,a motif. |
| [22:47.54] | At one point,there were villagers. |
| [22:52.08] | And? |
| [22:54.92] | By the time we finished all the dirty talk... |
| [22:58.36] | ...it was late and we were exhausted |
| [23:01.06] | -You cuddled. -Yeah,which was nice. - |
| [23:04.16] | Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie? |
| [23:08.07] | -Shouldn't we wait for Chandler? -Where the hell is he? - |
| [23:12.24] | I know what time it is... |
| [23:14.40] | ...but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy! |
| [23:18.74] | Let me tell you something. |
| [23:20.91] | You will care about it because I care about it. Got it? Good! |
| [23:42.93] | Sorry. How about over here? |
| [23:45.47] | That means it's working. |
| [23:47.50] | -Does this hurt? -No. |
| [23:52.44] | There you go! |
| [24:01.08] | I'm gonna throw up! |
| [02:06.-2] | Never mind. But it was gonna be really good. |
| [02:36.-2] | Does that mean we have to start buying our own toilet paper? |
| [04:48.-2] | I don' t. |
| [05:03.-1] | I love my life! I love my life! |
| [06:50.-4] | Well, I don' t know.... |
| [06:56.-3] | That monkey is a chick magnet. |
| [07:55.-4] | Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests... 8 |
| [09:44.-3] | And I' m maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics. |
| [13:02.-3] | I want Okay, I want... |
| [15:34.-1] | Wow! It' s huge! It' s so much bigger than the cubicle. |
| [17:49.-4] | Everything smells so delicious. |
| [19:16.-2] | ... but in a few minutes, we' ll serve some tartlets. |
| [20:06.-1] | You don' t wanna spoil your appetite. Hey, SugarO' s! |
| [23:41.-3] | How' s this? |
| [23:50.-2] | How about this? |
| [00:02.55] | Coffee. |
| [00:04.05] | Thank you. Cappuccino. |
| [00:07.59] | And a nice, hot cider for Monica. |
| [00:10.82] | Thank you. |
| [00:13.00] | Rach, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? |
| [00:20.83] | That' s why. |
| [00:23.30] | Sorry. |
| [00:27.14] | The One With The Stoned Guy |
| [01:21.49] | Chandler? |
| [01:23.93] | Miss Tedlock, you look lovely today. |
| [01:26.50] | That is a very flattering sleeve length on you. |
| [01:32.00] | Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today. |
| [01:36.88] | If it' s about those prank memos, I wasn' t involved. |
| [01:40.88] | Nothing at all. Really. |
| [01:45.42] | And frankly, those shenanigans have no place in an office environment. |
| [01:57.00] | Hey, you guys! |
| [01:58.66] | Chandler' s coming and he has incredible news. |
| [02:01.80] | So when he gets here, let' s all act, like, you know |
| [02:09.71] | What' s going on? |
| [02:11.34] | So it' s a typical day at work... |
| [02:14.28] | ... and Big Al tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. |
| [02:19.52] | That is great! Congratulations! |
| [02:21.82] | So I quit. |
| [02:24.56] | Why? |
| [02:26.09] | Why? This was a temp job. |
| [02:28.53] | Chandler, you' ve been there for five years. |
| [02:31.56] | I know, but if I took it, I' d be admitting that this is what I do. |
| [02:41.24] | That was Joey Tribbiani with the big picture. Dan? |
| [02:45.34] | Was it more money? |
| [02:46.91] | Doesn' t matter. I just don' t want to be a guy who sits in his office... |
| [02:51.68] | ... worrying about the WENUS. |
| [02:56.29] | The " WENUS"? " WENUS"? |
| [02:57.92] | Weekly estimated net usage system. It' s a processing term. " |
| [03:02.39] | Oh, that WENUS. |
| [03:05.86] | What will you do? |
| [03:07.27] | I don' t know. But I won' t figure it out working there. |
| [03:11.84] | I have something you can do! |
| [03:14.27] | I have this new massage client, Steve. |
| [03:18.18] | Anyway, he' s opening up a restaurant... |
| [03:21.08] | ... and he' s looking for a head chef. |
| [03:26.32] | Hi, there. Hi. |
| [03:29.35] | I know. You' re a chef and I thought of you first. |
| [03:33.16] | But Chandler' s the one who needs a job right now, so.... |
| [03:38.23] | I just don' t have a lot of chefing experience. |
| [03:41.47] | Unless it' s an alltoast restaurant. |
| [03:45.54] | What is he looking for? |
| [03:47.61] | He wants to do something eclectic. |
| [03:50.04] | He' s looking for someone who can create the entire menu. |
| [03:54.88] | So, what do you think? |
| [03:58.25] | Thanks. I just don' t see myself in a big, white hat. |
| [04:04.79] | Oh, Monica! Guess what? |
| [04:09.73] | a perfect runup and there he goes, a perfect.... |
| [04:13.93] | Watch stuff like this... |
| [04:15.83] | ... and you realize why evolution is just a theory. |
| [04:23.74] | Can you see my nipples through this shirt? |
| [04:28.55] | No, but don' t worry. I' m sure they' re still there. |
| [04:33.12] | Where are you going? |
| [04:34.79] | I have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman, career counseloragogo! |
| [04:41.53] | I added the " agogo." Career counselor? |
| [04:44.90] | You guys all know what you want to do. |
| [04:49.93] | You guys in the living room all know what you want to do. |
| [04:53.81] | You have goals. You have dreams. I don' t have a dream! |
| [04:57.74] | The lesserknown " I Don' t Have a Dream" speech. |
| [05:05.88] | " Brian' s Song"! |
| [05:10.46] | The meeting went great? So great! |
| [05:13.42] | He showed me where the restaurant' s gonna be. |
| [05:16.73] | It' s not too big or too small. It' s just right. |
| [05:20.30] | Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? |
| [05:24.47] | I' m cooking for him Monday, kind of an audition. |
| [05:28.11] | Phoebe, he wants you here. It' s great. You can make yummy noises. |
| [05:33.01] | What are you gonna make? Yummy noises. |
| [05:37.35] | And Monica, what are you gonna make? I don' t know. It' s gotta be great. |
| [05:42.49] | I know what you can make! I know! |
| [05:45.00] | You should make that thing with the stuff. |
| [05:49.56] | You know that thing with the stuff? |
| [05:54.53] | Okay, I don' t know. |
| [05:57.67] | Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? |
| [06:01.04] | How about Tony' s? If you finish a 32ounce steak, it' s free. |
| [06:09.11] | Anyone know a good place if you' re not dating a puma? |
| [06:13.92] | Who are you going out with? ls this the bug lady? |
| [06:17.82] | " I love you, Ross." |
| [06:21.69] | Her name is Celia and she' s insect curator at the museum. |
| [06:27.63] | What are you gonna do? Go out to dinner... |
| [06:31.47] | ... then bring her back to my place and introduce her to my monkey. |
| [06:37.88] | And he' s not speaking metaphorically. |
| [06:42.88] | So back to your place? You thinking maybe.... |
| [06:52.82] | I' m hoping.... |
| [06:58.40] | She' ll take one look at his cute, little face and it' ll seal the deal. |
| [07:05.10] | Celia, don' t worry. He' s not gonna hurt you! |
| [07:09.24] | Soothing tones. |
| [07:12.11] | Here, Marcel. I can' t stand this. |
| [07:16.21] | He' s got his claws on my Yeah, all right. |
| [07:27.16] | Okay, try this salmon mousse. |
| [07:31.53] | Good. |
| [07:33.06] | Is it better than the other salmon mousse? |
| [07:36.27] | It' s creamier. Yeah? Well, is that better? |
| [07:40.30] | I don' t know. We' re talking about whipped fish. |
| [07:44.74] | I' m just happy I' m keeping it down. |
| [07:53.02] | God, what happened to you? |
| [07:58.12] | ... intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? |
| [08:03.09] | " You' re suited for data processing for a large multinational corporation." |
| [08:09.17] | That' s so great! You already know how to do that. |
| [08:13.17] | Can you believe it? |
| [08:15.17] | Don' t I seem like I should be doing something cool? |
| [08:18.88] | I just always pictured myself doing something.... |
| [08:23.05] | Something! |
| [08:24.52] | Chandler, I know, I know. |
| [08:28.12] | Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt. |
| [08:35.53] | Maybe this will cheer you up. |
| [08:38.66] | I had a grape about five hours ago, so I better split this with you. 5 |
| [08:44.30] | It' s supposed to be small. It' s a preappetizer. |
| [08:47.81] | The French call it an amusebouche. |
| [08:53.54] | Well, it is amusing. |
| [09:03.82] | Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8: 00. |
| [09:07.89] | What did we say, 10 an hour? |
| [09:10.80] | Okay, great. All right, I' ll see you then. |
| [09:14.57] | 10 an hour for what? A waitress from work is helping me. |
| [09:19.47] | Waitressing? |
| [09:24.41] | Of course I thought of you. But.... |
| [09:28.75] | But.... But, but.... |
| [09:32.48] | But it' s just this night has to go just perfect, you know? |
| [09:37.49] | Wendy' s more of a professional waitress. |
| [09:52.54] | I don' t mean to brag, but I waited tables at lnnsbruck in ' 76. |
| [09:59.31] | Took home a bronze. |
| [10:04.42] | Amusebouche? |
| [10:23.43] | Talk to me. |
| [10:29.57] | A weird thing happened on the train this morning |
| [10:33.11] | Talk dirty. |
| [10:39.08] | Here? Come on. Come on |
| [10:43.39] | Say something hot. |
| [10:48.23] | What? What? |
| [10:56.73] | Vulva. |
| [11:11.58] | Vulva? |
| [11:14.85] | I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. |
| [11:19.29] | But it wasn' t a total loss. We ended up cuddling. |
| [11:23.39] | You cuddled? How many times? |
| [11:27.70] | Shut up. It was nice. |
| [11:30.07] | I don' t think I' m a dirtytalking kind of guy. |
| [11:33.34] | Just say what you wanna do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. |
| [11:38.28] | Or what other people might be doing to each other. |
| [11:41.85] | I' ll tell you what. Try something on me. |
| [11:47.52] | Please be kidding. |
| [11:51.69] | Why not? |
| [11:53.16] | Just close your eyes and tell me what you' d like to be doing right now. |
| [12:04.54] | I' m in my apartment.... |
| [12:07.47] | Yeah, what else? You' re not there. |
| [12:10.07] | We' re not having this conversation. All right, I' ll start. Ready? |
| [12:16.78] | Oh, Ross... |
| [12:20.45] | ... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. |
| [12:29.93] | Now you say something. I really don' t think so. |
| [12:33.33] | You like this woman, right? You wanna see her again, right? |
| [12:38.10] | If you can' t talk dirty to me, how will you talk dirty to her? |
| [12:42.64] | Now tell me you wanna caress my butt! |
| [12:48.91] | Okay, turn around. |
| [12:51.82] | I don' t want you staring at me. |
| [12:54.49] | All right, I' m not looking. Go ahead. |
| [12:57.39] | Okay. Ok. |
| [13:05.40] | ... to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips. |
| [13:10.20] | There you go. IKeep going, keep going. |
| [13:19.41] | I want to take my tongue and |
| [13:31.66] | Say it. |
| [13:36.00] | Say it! |
| [13:38.43] | run it all over your body... |
| [13:43.50] | ... until you' re trembling with |
| [14:05.09] | With? |
| [14:08.89] | Funny story. You' re not gonna believe this. |
| [14:12.70] | I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. |
| [14:19.20] | The trembling thing was nice. Shut up! |
| [14:22.51] | That guy from your old job called again. |
| [14:26.24] | Again? And again and again and again. |
| [14:35.09] | And again. |
| [14:37.52] | Hey, Mr. Costilick. How' s life on the 1 5th floor? |
| [14:42.26] | Yeah, I miss you too. |
| [14:44.13] | It' s a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. |
| [14:50.23] | That' s very generous. But this isn' t about the money. |
| [14:54.41] | I need more than a job. I need something I really care ab |
| [14:59.34] | That' s on top of the yearend bonus? |
| [15:02.58] | Your dream! |
| [15:04.15] | Look, Al, I' m not playing hardball here, okay? |
| [15:07.75] | This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! |
| [15:13.02] | Stop saying numbers! |
| [15:14.73] | I' m telling you, you' ve got the wrong guy! |
| [15:18.36] | I' ll see you Monday! |
| [15:39.72] | This is a cube! |
| [15:42.25] | Look at this. |
| [15:47.32] | You have a window! |
| [15:50.49] | Yes, indeedy. With a beautiful view of |
| [15:53.86] | Look! That guy' s peeing! |
| [15:57.74] | That' s enough of the view. Check this out. |
| [16:01.67] | Okay, sit down here. |
| [16:03.74] | This is great. |
| [16:06.64] | You ready? Yeah. |
| [16:09.21] | Helen, could you come in here? |
| [16:17.02] | Thank you, Helen. That' ll be all. |
| [16:20.93] | Last time I do that. I promise. |
| [16:28.10] | She doesn' t seem very warm. I know. She has no personality. |
| [16:37.34] | Wendy, don' t do this to me. |
| [16:40.08] | We had a deal. Yeah, you promised. |
| [16:51.29] | Who was that? Wendy bailed. |
| [16:56.33] | I have no waitress. |
| [16:59.76] | That' s too bad. Byebye. |
| [17:04.90] | Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour! |
| [17:08.41] | I wish I could, but I' ve made plans to walk around. |
| [17:13.04] | When you ran out on your wedding, I was there. |
| [17:16.41] | I put a roof over your head! If that means nothing.... |
| [17:21.09] | Twenty dollars an hour. |
| [17:24.25] | Done. |
| [17:32.20] | Hello. Welcome to Monica' s. May I take your coat? |
| [17:39.40] | Hi, Steve. Hello, Monica. |
| [17:41.57] | Hello, greeter girl. |
| [17:44.38] | This is Rachel. Yeah, okay. |
| [17:51.28] | I can' t remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of |
| [17:55.79] | Okay, smells. |
| [17:58.59] | It' s a lovely apartment. Thank you. Would you like a tour? |
| [18:03.26] | I was just being polite, but all right. |
| [18:09.20] | What' s up? ln the cab on the way over... |
| [18:12.20] | ... Steve blazed up a doobie. |
| [18:16.01] | What? shen me? |
| [18:17.54] | Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja |
| [18:23.45] | I' m with you, Cheech. |
| [18:27.45] | Do you think he' s gonna be cool? ls it dry in here? |
| [18:34.59] | Let me get you some wine. |
| [18:37.03] | I think we' re ready for our first course too. |
| [18:42.67] | These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce... |
| [18:47.60] | ... with just a touch of minced... |
| [18:55.18] | ... ginger. |
| [18:57.21] | Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! |
| [19:03.59] | These are fantastic! Gosh! I' m so glad you liked them. |
| [19:08.00] | Like them? I could eat 100 of them! |
| [19:13.60] | That' s all there is of these... |
| [19:19.84] | " Tartlets"? |
| [19:21.71] | " Tartlets." |
| [19:24.21] | " Tartlets." |
| [19:27.74] | Word has lost all meaning. |
| [19:36.12] | Excuse me. Can I help you with anything? |
| [19:39.19] | You know, I don' t know what I' m looking for. |
| [19:58.01] | Cool! Taco shells! |
| [20:02.41] | They' re like a little corn envelope, you know? |
| [20:11.16] | You know, if you just wait another 6 1 2 minutes |
| [20:14.76] | Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! |
| [20:22.33] | No, we don' t. Oh, okay. |
| [20:27.14] | Sorry. |
| [20:32.71] | Why don' t you just have a seat here? |
| [20:40.92] | Give me the gummy bears. No. |
| [20:46.69] | Give them to me. We' ll share. |
| [20:49.03] | No. Give me the bears. You can' t have any. |
| [20:52.70] | It' s not worth it! |
| [20:55.07] | Bears overboard! They' re drowning! |
| [20:59.50] | Don' t just stand there. Call 91 1. |
| [21:03.44] | Hey, fellas, grab onto a SugarO! Save yourselves! |
| [21:07.21] | Help! Help, I' m drowning! |
| [21:12.65] | That' s it! Dinner is over! What! Why? |
| [21:16.39] | Why? What if I came into your office and I started...? |
| [21:21.56] | I can' t think of an example. |
| [21:23.53] | I' ve waited seven years for an opportunity like this... |
| [21:27.23] | ... and you can' t wait 4 1 2 minutes for a tartlet? |
| [21:39.41] | So I told him, " I' m sorry. That' s how I feel." |
| [21:42.58] | And he told me I harshed his buzz. |
| [21:47.12] | Then I said," Don' t eat that. It' s a kitchen magnet." |
| [21:52.52] | And he didn' t listen, so we left him in the emergency room. |
| [21:57.66] | Mon, I' m sorry. What a tool. |
| [22:02.27] | You did the right thing. You don' t wanna work for that guy. |
| [22:07.47] | I just thought that this was it. |
| [22:10.57] | Don' t worry. You' re an amazing chef. Those yummy noises? I wasn' t faking. |
| [22:17.31] | Am I gonna get paid for the full three hours? |
| [22:20.42] | Just a question. We' ll talk about it later. |
| [22:28.16] | So, how did it go with Celia? |
| [22:31.86] | I was unbelievable. All right, Ross! |
| [22:36.20] | I was the James Michener of dirty talk. |
| [22:39.07] | It was the most elaborate filth ever heard. |
| [22:42.01] | I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif. |
| [22:47.54] | At one point, there were villagers. |
| [22:52.08] | And? |
| [22:54.92] | By the time we finished all the dirty talk... |
| [22:58.36] | ... it was late and we were exhausted |
| [23:01.06] | You cuddled. Yeah, which was nice. |
| [23:04.16] | Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie? |
| [23:08.07] | Shouldn' t we wait for Chandler? Where the hell is he? |
| [23:12.24] | I know what time it is... |
| [23:14.40] | ... but I' m looking at the WENUS and I' m not happy! |
| [23:18.74] | Let me tell you something. |
| [23:20.91] | You will care about it because I care about it. Got it? Good! |
| [23:42.93] | Sorry. How about over here? |
| [23:45.47] | That means it' s working. |
| [23:47.50] | Does this hurt? No. |
| [23:52.44] | There you go! |
| [24:01.08] | I' m gonna throw up! |
| [02:06.-2] | Never mind. But it was gonna be really good. |
| [02:36.-2] | Does that mean we have to start buying our own toilet paper? |
| [04:48.-2] | I don' t. |
| [05:03.-1] | I love my life! I love my life! |
| [06:50.-4] | Well, I don' t know.... |
| [06:56.-3] | That monkey is a chick magnet. |
| [07:55.-4] | Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests... 8 |
| [09:44.-3] | And I' m maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics. |
| [13:02.-3] | I want Okay, I want... |
| [15:34.-1] | Wow! It' s huge! It' s so much bigger than the cubicle. |
| [17:49.-4] | Everything smells so delicious. |
| [19:16.-2] | ... but in a few minutes, we' ll serve some tartlets. |
| [20:06.-1] | You don' t wanna spoil your appetite. Hey, SugarO' s! |
| [23:41.-3] | How' s this? |
| [23:50.-2] | How about this? |
| [00:02.55] | Coffee. |
| [00:04.05] | Thank you. Cappuccino. |
| [00:07.59] | And a nice, hot cider for Monica. |
| [00:10.82] | Thank you. |
| [00:13.00] | Rach, why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? |
| [00:20.83] | That' s why. |
| [00:23.30] | Sorry. |
| [00:27.14] | The One With The Stoned Guy |
| [01:21.49] | Chandler? |
| [01:23.93] | Miss Tedlock, you look lovely today. |
| [01:26.50] | That is a very flattering sleeve length on you. |
| [01:32.00] | Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today. |
| [01:36.88] | If it' s about those prank memos, I wasn' t involved. |
| [01:40.88] | Nothing at all. Really. |
| [01:45.42] | And frankly, those shenanigans have no place in an office environment. |
| [01:57.00] | Hey, you guys! |
| [01:58.66] | Chandler' s coming and he has incredible news. |
| [02:01.80] | So when he gets here, let' s all act, like, you know |
| [02:09.71] | What' s going on? |
| [02:11.34] | So it' s a typical day at work... |
| [02:14.28] | ... and Big Al tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. |
| [02:19.52] | That is great! Congratulations! |
| [02:21.82] | So I quit. |
| [02:24.56] | Why? |
| [02:26.09] | Why? This was a temp job. |
| [02:28.53] | Chandler, you' ve been there for five years. |
| [02:31.56] | I know, but if I took it, I' d be admitting that this is what I do. |
| [02:41.24] | That was Joey Tribbiani with the big picture. Dan? |
| [02:45.34] | Was it more money? |
| [02:46.91] | Doesn' t matter. I just don' t want to be a guy who sits in his office... |
| [02:51.68] | ... worrying about the WENUS. |
| [02:56.29] | The " WENUS"? " WENUS"? |
| [02:57.92] | Weekly estimated net usage system. It' s a processing term. " |
| [03:02.39] | Oh, that WENUS. |
| [03:05.86] | What will you do? |
| [03:07.27] | I don' t know. But I won' t figure it out working there. |
| [03:11.84] | I have something you can do! |
| [03:14.27] | I have this new massage client, Steve. |
| [03:18.18] | Anyway, he' s opening up a restaurant... |
| [03:21.08] | ... and he' s looking for a head chef. |
| [03:26.32] | Hi, there. Hi. |
| [03:29.35] | I know. You' re a chef and I thought of you first. |
| [03:33.16] | But Chandler' s the one who needs a job right now, so.... |
| [03:38.23] | I just don' t have a lot of chefing experience. |
| [03:41.47] | Unless it' s an alltoast restaurant. |
| [03:45.54] | What is he looking for? |
| [03:47.61] | He wants to do something eclectic. |
| [03:50.04] | He' s looking for someone who can create the entire menu. |
| [03:54.88] | So, what do you think? |
| [03:58.25] | Thanks. I just don' t see myself in a big, white hat. |
| [04:04.79] | Oh, Monica! Guess what? |
| [04:09.73] | a perfect runup and there he goes, a perfect.... |
| [04:13.93] | Watch stuff like this... |
| [04:15.83] | ... and you realize why evolution is just a theory. |
| [04:23.74] | Can you see my nipples through this shirt? |
| [04:28.55] | No, but don' t worry. I' m sure they' re still there. |
| [04:33.12] | Where are you going? |
| [04:34.79] | I have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman, career counseloragogo! |
| [04:41.53] | I added the " agogo." Career counselor? |
| [04:44.90] | You guys all know what you want to do. |
| [04:49.93] | You guys in the living room all know what you want to do. |
| [04:53.81] | You have goals. You have dreams. I don' t have a dream! |
| [04:57.74] | The lesserknown " I Don' t Have a Dream" speech. |
| [05:05.88] | " Brian' s Song"! |
| [05:10.46] | The meeting went great? So great! |
| [05:13.42] | He showed me where the restaurant' s gonna be. |
| [05:16.73] | It' s not too big or too small. It' s just right. |
| [05:20.30] | Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? |
| [05:24.47] | I' m cooking for him Monday, kind of an audition. |
| [05:28.11] | Phoebe, he wants you here. It' s great. You can make yummy noises. |
| [05:33.01] | What are you gonna make? Yummy noises. |
| [05:37.35] | And Monica, what are you gonna make? I don' t know. It' s gotta be great. |
| [05:42.49] | I know what you can make! I know! |
| [05:45.00] | You should make that thing with the stuff. |
| [05:49.56] | You know that thing with the stuff? |
| [05:54.53] | Okay, I don' t know. |
| [05:57.67] | Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? |
| [06:01.04] | How about Tony' s? If you finish a 32ounce steak, it' s free. |
| [06:09.11] | Anyone know a good place if you' re not dating a puma? |
| [06:13.92] | Who are you going out with? ls this the bug lady? |
| [06:17.82] | " I love you, Ross." |
| [06:21.69] | Her name is Celia and she' s insect curator at the museum. |
| [06:27.63] | What are you gonna do? Go out to dinner... |
| [06:31.47] | ... then bring her back to my place and introduce her to my monkey. |
| [06:37.88] | And he' s not speaking metaphorically. |
| [06:42.88] | So back to your place? You thinking maybe.... |
| [06:52.82] | I' m hoping.... |
| [06:58.40] | She' ll take one look at his cute, little face and it' ll seal the deal. |
| [07:05.10] | Celia, don' t worry. He' s not gonna hurt you! |
| [07:09.24] | Soothing tones. |
| [07:12.11] | Here, Marcel. I can' t stand this. |
| [07:16.21] | He' s got his claws on my Yeah, all right. |
| [07:27.16] | Okay, try this salmon mousse. |
| [07:31.53] | Good. |
| [07:33.06] | Is it better than the other salmon mousse? |
| [07:36.27] | It' s creamier. Yeah? Well, is that better? |
| [07:40.30] | I don' t know. We' re talking about whipped fish. |
| [07:44.74] | I' m just happy I' m keeping it down. |
| [07:53.02] | God, what happened to you? |
| [07:58.12] | ... intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? |
| [08:03.09] | " You' re suited for data processing for a large multinational corporation." |
| [08:09.17] | That' s so great! You already know how to do that. |
| [08:13.17] | Can you believe it? |
| [08:15.17] | Don' t I seem like I should be doing something cool? |
| [08:18.88] | I just always pictured myself doing something.... |
| [08:23.05] | Something! |
| [08:24.52] | Chandler, I know, I know. |
| [08:28.12] | Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt. |
| [08:35.53] | Maybe this will cheer you up. |
| [08:38.66] | I had a grape about five hours ago, so I better split this with you. 5 |
| [08:44.30] | It' s supposed to be small. It' s a preappetizer. |
| [08:47.81] | The French call it an amusebouche. |
| [08:53.54] | Well, it is amusing. |
| [09:03.82] | Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8: 00. |
| [09:07.89] | What did we say, 10 an hour? |
| [09:10.80] | Okay, great. All right, I' ll see you then. |
| [09:14.57] | 10 an hour for what? A waitress from work is helping me. |
| [09:19.47] | Waitressing? |
| [09:24.41] | Of course I thought of you. But.... |
| [09:28.75] | But.... But, but.... |
| [09:32.48] | But it' s just this night has to go just perfect, you know? |
| [09:37.49] | Wendy' s more of a professional waitress. |
| [09:52.54] | I don' t mean to brag, but I waited tables at lnnsbruck in ' 76. |
| [09:59.31] | Took home a bronze. |
| [10:04.42] | Amusebouche? |
| [10:23.43] | Talk to me. |
| [10:29.57] | A weird thing happened on the train this morning |
| [10:33.11] | Talk dirty. |
| [10:39.08] | Here? Come on. Come on |
| [10:43.39] | Say something hot. |
| [10:48.23] | What? What? |
| [10:56.73] | Vulva. |
| [11:11.58] | Vulva? |
| [11:14.85] | I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. |
| [11:19.29] | But it wasn' t a total loss. We ended up cuddling. |
| [11:23.39] | You cuddled? How many times? |
| [11:27.70] | Shut up. It was nice. |
| [11:30.07] | I don' t think I' m a dirtytalking kind of guy. |
| [11:33.34] | Just say what you wanna do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. |
| [11:38.28] | Or what other people might be doing to each other. |
| [11:41.85] | I' ll tell you what. Try something on me. |
| [11:47.52] | Please be kidding. |
| [11:51.69] | Why not? |
| [11:53.16] | Just close your eyes and tell me what you' d like to be doing right now. |
| [12:04.54] | I' m in my apartment.... |
| [12:07.47] | Yeah, what else? You' re not there. |
| [12:10.07] | We' re not having this conversation. All right, I' ll start. Ready? |
| [12:16.78] | Oh, Ross... |
| [12:20.45] | ... you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. |
| [12:29.93] | Now you say something. I really don' t think so. |
| [12:33.33] | You like this woman, right? You wanna see her again, right? |
| [12:38.10] | If you can' t talk dirty to me, how will you talk dirty to her? |
| [12:42.64] | Now tell me you wanna caress my butt! |
| [12:48.91] | Okay, turn around. |
| [12:51.82] | I don' t want you staring at me. |
| [12:54.49] | All right, I' m not looking. Go ahead. |
| [12:57.39] | Okay. Ok. |
| [13:05.40] | ... to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips. |
| [13:10.20] | There you go. IKeep going, keep going. |
| [13:19.41] | I want to take my tongue and |
| [13:31.66] | Say it. |
| [13:36.00] | Say it! |
| [13:38.43] | run it all over your body... |
| [13:43.50] | ... until you' re trembling with |
| [14:05.09] | With? |
| [14:08.89] | Funny story. You' re not gonna believe this. |
| [14:12.70] | I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. |
| [14:19.20] | The trembling thing was nice. Shut up! |
| [14:22.51] | That guy from your old job called again. |
| [14:26.24] | Again? And again and again and again. |
| [14:35.09] | And again. |
| [14:37.52] | Hey, Mr. Costilick. How' s life on the 1 5th floor? |
| [14:42.26] | Yeah, I miss you too. |
| [14:44.13] | It' s a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. |
| [14:50.23] | That' s very generous. But this isn' t about the money. |
| [14:54.41] | I need more than a job. I need something I really care ab |
| [14:59.34] | That' s on top of the yearend bonus? |
| [15:02.58] | Your dream! |
| [15:04.15] | Look, Al, I' m not playing hardball here, okay? |
| [15:07.75] | This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! |
| [15:13.02] | Stop saying numbers! |
| [15:14.73] | I' m telling you, you' ve got the wrong guy! |
| [15:18.36] | I' ll see you Monday! |
| [15:39.72] | This is a cube! |
| [15:42.25] | Look at this. |
| [15:47.32] | You have a window! |
| [15:50.49] | Yes, indeedy. With a beautiful view of |
| [15:53.86] | Look! That guy' s peeing! |
| [15:57.74] | That' s enough of the view. Check this out. |
| [16:01.67] | Okay, sit down here. |
| [16:03.74] | This is great. |
| [16:06.64] | You ready? Yeah. |
| [16:09.21] | Helen, could you come in here? |
| [16:17.02] | Thank you, Helen. That' ll be all. |
| [16:20.93] | Last time I do that. I promise. |
| [16:28.10] | She doesn' t seem very warm. I know. She has no personality. |
| [16:37.34] | Wendy, don' t do this to me. |
| [16:40.08] | We had a deal. Yeah, you promised. |
| [16:51.29] | Who was that? Wendy bailed. |
| [16:56.33] | I have no waitress. |
| [16:59.76] | That' s too bad. Byebye. |
| [17:04.90] | Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour! |
| [17:08.41] | I wish I could, but I' ve made plans to walk around. |
| [17:13.04] | When you ran out on your wedding, I was there. |
| [17:16.41] | I put a roof over your head! If that means nothing.... |
| [17:21.09] | Twenty dollars an hour. |
| [17:24.25] | Done. |
| [17:32.20] | Hello. Welcome to Monica' s. May I take your coat? |
| [17:39.40] | Hi, Steve. Hello, Monica. |
| [17:41.57] | Hello, greeter girl. |
| [17:44.38] | This is Rachel. Yeah, okay. |
| [17:51.28] | I can' t remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of |
| [17:55.79] | Okay, smells. |
| [17:58.59] | It' s a lovely apartment. Thank you. Would you like a tour? |
| [18:03.26] | I was just being polite, but all right. |
| [18:09.20] | What' s up? ln the cab on the way over... |
| [18:12.20] | ... Steve blazed up a doobie. |
| [18:16.01] | What? shén me? |
| [18:17.54] | Smoked a joint, you know? Lit a bone. Weed, hemp, ganja |
| [18:23.45] | I' m with you, Cheech. |
| [18:27.45] | Do you think he' s gonna be cool? ls it dry in here? |
| [18:34.59] | Let me get you some wine. |
| [18:37.03] | I think we' re ready for our first course too. |
| [18:42.67] | These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce... |
| [18:47.60] | ... with just a touch of minced... |
| [18:55.18] | ... ginger. |
| [18:57.21] | Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! |
| [19:03.59] | These are fantastic! Gosh! I' m so glad you liked them. |
| [19:08.00] | Like them? I could eat 100 of them! |
| [19:13.60] | That' s all there is of these... |
| [19:19.84] | " Tartlets"? |
| [19:21.71] | " Tartlets." |
| [19:24.21] | " Tartlets." |
| [19:27.74] | Word has lost all meaning. |
| [19:36.12] | Excuse me. Can I help you with anything? |
| [19:39.19] | You know, I don' t know what I' m looking for. |
| [19:58.01] | Cool! Taco shells! |
| [20:02.41] | They' re like a little corn envelope, you know? |
| [20:11.16] | You know, if you just wait another 6 1 2 minutes |
| [20:14.76] | Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! |
| [20:22.33] | No, we don' t. Oh, okay. |
| [20:27.14] | Sorry. |
| [20:32.71] | Why don' t you just have a seat here? |
| [20:40.92] | Give me the gummy bears. No. |
| [20:46.69] | Give them to me. We' ll share. |
| [20:49.03] | No. Give me the bears. You can' t have any. |
| [20:52.70] | It' s not worth it! |
| [20:55.07] | Bears overboard! They' re drowning! |
| [20:59.50] | Don' t just stand there. Call 91 1. |
| [21:03.44] | Hey, fellas, grab onto a SugarO! Save yourselves! |
| [21:07.21] | Help! Help, I' m drowning! |
| [21:12.65] | That' s it! Dinner is over! What! Why? |
| [21:16.39] | Why? What if I came into your office and I started...? |
| [21:21.56] | I can' t think of an example. |
| [21:23.53] | I' ve waited seven years for an opportunity like this... |
| [21:27.23] | ... and you can' t wait 4 1 2 minutes for a tartlet? |
| [21:39.41] | So I told him, " I' m sorry. That' s how I feel." |
| [21:42.58] | And he told me I harshed his buzz. |
| [21:47.12] | Then I said," Don' t eat that. It' s a kitchen magnet." |
| [21:52.52] | And he didn' t listen, so we left him in the emergency room. |
| [21:57.66] | Mon, I' m sorry. What a tool. |
| [22:02.27] | You did the right thing. You don' t wanna work for that guy. |
| [22:07.47] | I just thought that this was it. |
| [22:10.57] | Don' t worry. You' re an amazing chef. Those yummy noises? I wasn' t faking. |
| [22:17.31] | Am I gonna get paid for the full three hours? |
| [22:20.42] | Just a question. We' ll talk about it later. |
| [22:28.16] | So, how did it go with Celia? |
| [22:31.86] | I was unbelievable. All right, Ross! |
| [22:36.20] | I was the James Michener of dirty talk. |
| [22:39.07] | It was the most elaborate filth ever heard. |
| [22:42.01] | I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif. |
| [22:47.54] | At one point, there were villagers. |
| [22:52.08] | And? |
| [22:54.92] | By the time we finished all the dirty talk... |
| [22:58.36] | ... it was late and we were exhausted |
| [23:01.06] | You cuddled. Yeah, which was nice. |
| [23:04.16] | Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie? |
| [23:08.07] | Shouldn' t we wait for Chandler? Where the hell is he? |
| [23:12.24] | I know what time it is... |
| [23:14.40] | ... but I' m looking at the WENUS and I' m not happy! |
| [23:18.74] | Let me tell you something. |
| [23:20.91] | You will care about it because I care about it. Got it? Good! |
| [23:42.93] | Sorry. How about over here? |
| [23:45.47] | That means it' s working. |
| [23:47.50] | Does this hurt? No. |
| [23:52.44] | There you go! |
| [24:01.08] | I' m gonna throw up! |
| [00:02.55] | 咖啡 |
| [00:04.05] | 谢谢 -卡布其诺 |
| [00:07.59] | 摩妮卡的热苹果酒 |
| [00:10.82] | 谢谢 |
| [00:13.00] | 瑞秋,为何我的肉桂棒上有橡皮擦? |
| [00:20.83] | 这就是原因, |
| [00:23.30] | 对不起 |
| [00:27.14] | 六人行 第1季 第15集 **客 |
| [01:21.49] | 钱德 |
| [01:23.93] | 泰洛克小姐,你今天真漂亮 |
| [01:26.50] | 我能说这件衣服真好看吗? |
| [01:32.00] | 科斯特.力克先生希望你在下班后 能到他办公室去 |
| [01:36.88] | 如果他是为搞笑备忘录 不是我干的, |
| [01:40.88] | 和我完全没有关系.真的. |
| [01:45.42] | 弗兰克,办公室里没有地方容纳这些恶作剧. |
| [01:57.00] | 各位, |
| [01:58.66] | 钱德说他有天大的好消息 |
| [02:01.80] | 所以他来的时候我们就…… |
| [02:06.-2] | 不管了,这一定很有意思. |
| [02:09.71] | 到底怎么了… |
| [02:11.34] | 今天和平常没什么两样 |
| [02:14.28] | 然后艾尔叫我到他办公室 说他要我当电脑处理的主管 |
| [02:19.52] | 真是太好了 -恭喜... |
| [02:21.82] | 所以我就辞职不干了 |
| [02:24.56] | 为什么? |
| [02:26.09] | 为什么?因为这只是暂时的工作 |
| [02:28.53] | 钱德,你已在公司五年了 |
| [02:31.56] | 我知道,但接受升职 不就承认这就是我的目的 |
| [02:36.-2] | 这是不是意味着我们必须开始自己购买手纸 |
| [02:41.24] | 那是有大照片的乔伊.丹? |
| [02:45.34] | 这那不是能赚更多钱? |
| [02:46.91] | 我不在乎,我不想成为 坐在办公室到午夜 |
| [02:51.68] | 担心"WEENUS"的人 |
| [02:56.29] | |
| [02:57.92] | 每周估计净值使用系统" 这是电脑处理的术语 |
| [03:02.39] | 哦，那个是"WENUS"啊 |
| [03:05.86] | 你有何打算? |
| [03:07.27] | 我也不知道该怎么办 我只知道我不会再待在那儿工作了 |
| [03:11.84] | 我有一份你可以做的工作 |
| [03:14.27] | 我的新按摩客户史蒂芬 |
| [03:18.18] | 他开了一家餐厅 |
| [03:21.08] | 他正在寻找总厨师 |
| [03:26.32] | 你好 -你好. |
| [03:29.35] | 我知道你是个厨师,而且我先想到你 |
| [03:33.16] | 但钱德目前没有工作所以... |
| [03:38.23] | 我没有太多厨师的经验 |
| [03:41.47] | 除非那是一家只卖土司的餐厅 |
| [03:45.54] | 他想要什么菜色? |
| [03:47.61] | 他想要菜色丰富多变 |
| [03:50.04] | 因此他在找一个能创造出整个菜单的人 |
| [03:54.88] | 意下如何? |
| [03:58.25] | 谢了.我大概没资格戴白色大帽吧(无法胜任) |
| [04:04.79] | 摩妮卡,考虑考虑? |
| [04:09.73] | 一个完美的积累,然后就自然而然出现了,完美的 |
| [04:13.93] | 看看这个 |
| [04:15.83] | 你就知道为什么变革仅仅是理论上的事情了. |
| [04:23.74] | 你能透过衬衫看见我的**吗? |
| [04:28.55] | 看不见,但别担心,它们还在 |
| [04:33.12] | 你要上哪儿去,西装笔挺先生? |
| [04:34.79] | 我和罗伯提曼博士有约,求职顾问阿哥哥 |
| [04:41.53] | 阿哥哥是我加的 -求职顾问? |
| [04:44.90] | 你们都已找到人生的方向 |
| [04:48.-2] | 还没 |
| [04:49.93] | 在客厅里的各位 全都知道未来该怎么走 |
| [04:53.81] | 你们有目标,有梦想, 但我却没有梦想 |
| [04:57.74] | 少见的“我没有梦想”演说 |
| [05:03.-1] | 我爱我的人生!我爱我的人生! |
| [05:05.88] | 布莱恩的歌 |
| [05:10.46] | 见面的结果如何? -相当顺利 |
| [05:13.42] | 他告诉我未来餐厅的位置 |
| [05:16.73] | 就在第十街不太大也不太小, 大小适中 |
| [05:20.30] | 前任老板是金发女人和几只熊吗? |
| [05:24.47] | 周一我们要煮一餐让他品尝 有点像是面试 |
| [05:28.11] | 菲比,他也要你在场 这样对我有好处 因为你可以发出好吃的赞叹声 |
| [05:33.01] | 你打算做什么? -好吃的声音. |
| [05:37.35] | 摩妮卡,你要做什么菜? 我也不知道,但一定会很棒的 |
| [05:42.49] | 我知道你可以做什么了! |
| [05:45.00] | 你应该用那些东西做这个. |
| [05:49.56] | 你知道用那些东西做的这个? |
| [05:54.53] | 好吧,我也不知道 |
| [05:57.67] | 各位,谁知道附近有约会的绝佳地点? |
| [06:01.04] | 东尼餐厅如何?吃下32盎斯的牛排就免费 |
| [06:09.11] | 谁知道和美洲豹约会,哪儿是好地点? |
| [06:13.92] | 你要和谁约会? -是昆虫女? |
| [06:17.82] | 我爱你,罗斯 |
| [06:21.69] | 她叫希莉亚,不是昆虫女 她是昆虫博物馆的** |
| [06:27.63] | 你们打算如何共渡? -出去吃晚餐 |
| [06:31.47] | 然后带她回我的住处 介绍我的猴子给她认识 |
| [06:37.88] | 他没用暗示 |
| [06:42.88] | 回你的住处?你想... |
| [06:50.-4] | 我不知道… |
| [06:52.82] | 我希望… |
| [06:56.-3] | 告诉你,那猴子是魅力十足 |
| [06:58.40] | 她看见它那毛绒绒可爱的小脸 然后一切就搞定 |
| [07:05.10] | 希莉亚,别担心,它不会伤害你的 |
| [07:09.24] | 用安抚的语调 |
| [07:12.11] | 过来,马修 -我受不了了. |
| [07:16.21] | 它的爪子在我的 -乖.. |
| [07:27.16] | 试试这鲑鱼慕斯 |
| [07:31.53] | 好吃 |
| [07:33.06] | 比其他的鲑鱼慕斯好吃? |
| [07:36.27] | 更滑更柔 -是吗?这样更好? |
| [07:40.30] | 我不知道.我们在谈一条搅成泡沫的鱼 |
| [07:44.74] | 我能不吐出来就已经不错了 |
| [07:53.02] | 天啊,你怎么了? |
| [07:55.-4] | 个半小时的性向测验 |
| [07:58.12] | 智力测验,个性测验,我了解了什么? |
| [08:03.09] | 你适合在大型跨国公司 资料处理部门方面发展 |
| [08:09.17] | 这太好了 因为你已知道该如何做 |
| [08:13.17] | 你们能相信吗? |
| [08:15.17] | 我不像是做那种酷工作的人吗? |
| [08:18.88] | 我总是想像自己能做点事情 |
| [08:23.05] | 事情! |
| [08:24.52] | 钱德,我知道 |
| [08:28.12] | 嗨,你可以透过你的衬衫 看自己的** |
| [08:35.53] | 这个或许能让你开心点 |
| [08:38.66] | 小时前我吃了一颗葡萄 所以我最好该和你平分 |
| [08:44.30] | 它本来就应该那么小 这是餐前开胃菜 |
| [08:47.81] | 法国人称它为“阿姆兹布许” |
| [08:53.54] | 这简直是太神奇了 |
| [09:03.82] | 温蒂,对,八点 |
| [09:07.89] | 我们不是说过吗?每小时十块 |
| [09:10.80] | 很好,再见了 |
| [09:14.57] | 什么每小时十块? -我请餐厅里的女服务生帮忙 |
| [09:19.47] | 服务生? |
| [09:24.41] | 当然我考虑过你.但... |
| [09:28.75] | 但是… -但是什么? |
| [09:32.48] | 但是这今晚一定要做到完美,你知道吗? |
| [09:37.49] | 温蒂的经验丰富,是个职业服务生 |
| [09:44.-3] | 我应该继续保持业余的姿态 将来才能在奥运会上当服务生 |
| [09:52.54] | 我不想自吹自擂 但我在76年的因斯布鲁克当过服务生 |
| [09:59.31] | 带回家一块铜牌. |
| [10:04.42] | 阿姆兹-布许? |
| [10:23.43] | 和我说话 |
| [10:29.57] | 早上我坐地铁时 发生了一件诡异的事 |
| [10:33.11] | 说猥亵的话 |
| [10:39.08] | 这里? -对. |
| [10:43.39] | 说点火辣的 |
| [10:48.23] | 什么?什么? |
| [10:56.73] | **. |
| [11:11.58] | **? |
| [11:14.85] | 我当时好害怕,她吓了我一跳 |
| [11:19.29] | 但并未完全失去自我.我们以爱抚收场 |
| [11:23.39] | 爱抚?几次? |
| [11:27.70] | 闭嘴,那种感觉好好 |
| [11:30.07] | 我不是那种讲猥亵话的人 |
| [11:33.34] | 你只要说出你想对她如何 或是你想她对你如何 |
| [11:38.28] | 或是别人想对彼此如何 |
| [11:41.85] | 这样吧,对我说吧 |
| [11:47.52] | 开什么玩笑 |
| [11:51.69] | 有何不可, |
| [11:53.16] | 只要闭上眼睛告诉我 现在你想干什么 |
| [12:04.54] | 好吧…我在我的住处 |
| [12:07.47] | 然后呢? -你不在那里. |
| [12:10.07] | 我们在进行这样的谈话 -好的,我要开始了,准备好了吗? |
| [12:16.78] | 噢,罗斯 |
| [12:20.45] | 你让我欲火焚身, 我要你** |
| [12:29.93] | 该你了 -我看还是算了吧 |
| [12:33.33] | 你喜欢她吧?想再见到她吗? |
| [12:38.10] | 如果你无法对我说出狠亵的话 你如何对她说呢? |
| [12:42.64] | 说你想爱抚我的** |
| [12:48.91] | 好吧,转过去 |
| [12:51.82] | 我不想你盯著我看 |
| [12:54.49] | 好吧,我不看,说吧 |
| [12:57.39] | |
| [13:02.-3] | 我要... |
| [13:05.40] | 用我的双唇感觉你那光滑的皮肤 |
| [13:10.20] | 这就对了,继续 |
| [13:19.41] | 我要用我的舌头… |
| [13:31.66] | 快说啊 |
| [13:36.00] | 快说 |
| [13:38.43] | 舔遍你的全身 |
| [13:43.50] | 直到你颤抖… |
| [14:05.09] | 然后呢? |
| [14:08.89] | 真好笑 -你不会相信的 |
| [14:12.70] | 我一向赞成你们两个小子交往 |
| [14:19.20] | 颤抖那一段不错 -闭嘴! |
| [14:22.51] | 你睡觉时老东家又打电话来 |
| [14:26.24] | 又打来? -一遍又一遍. |
| [14:35.09] | 又打来了 |
| [14:37.52] | 科先生,15楼的情况如何? |
| [14:42.26] | 我也想念你. |
| [14:44.13] | 对,偷家里的笔不够刺激 |
| [14:50.23] | 你真慷慨,但这不是钱的问题 |
| [14:54.41] | 我需要的不只是一份工作 我要的是我真正想要的 |
| [14:59.34] | 这是你稍早提过的年终红利之外的津贴? |
| [15:02.58] | 你的梦想… |
| [15:04.15] | 艾尔,我不是在故意为难你 |
| [15:07.75] | 这不是交涉,这叫拒绝 |
| [15:13.02] | 不,别再讲数字了 |
| [15:14.73] | 告诉你,你看错人了 |
| [15:18.36] | 星期一见 |
| [15:34.-1] | 好大,比小格子大多了 |
| [15:39.72] | 这是一个格间! |
| [15:42.25] | 看这里. |
| [15:47.32] | 你有窗户! |
| [15:50.49] | 没错,还有美丽的风… |
| [15:53.86] | 看,有人在小便 |
| [15:57.74] | 风景看够了,看这个 |
| [16:01.67] | 坐下 |
| [16:03.74] | 这个最酷, |
| [16:06.64] | 准备好没? -好了 |
| [16:09.21] | 海伦,能进来一下吗? |
| [16:17.02] | 谢谢你,海伦,没事了 |
| [16:20.93] | 最后一次了,我保证 |
| [16:28.10] | 她看起来不怎么热情 -我知道.她没有个性. |
| [16:37.34] | 温蒂,不要这样对我. |
| [16:40.08] | 我们约好的.你答应过我 |
| [16:51.29] | 那是谁? -叛徒温蒂 |
| [16:56.33] | 我没服务生了 |
| [16:59.76] | 真是太糟糕了.再见 |
| [17:04.90] | 一小时十元!一小时十二元! |
| [17:08.41] | 我希望可以 但我已经计划好去走走 |
| [17:13.04] | 你逃婚之后我一直关心你 |
| [17:16.41] | 我让你有地方住 如果这样对你仍毫无意义… |
| [17:21.09] | 一小时二十元 |
| [17:24.25] | 成交 |
| [17:32.20] | 欢迎光临摩尼卡的厨房 我能拿你的外套吗? |
| [17:39.40] | 史帝夫 -摩妮卡 |
| [17:41.57] | 招待小姐 |
| [17:44.38] | 她叫瑞秋 -好的, |
| [17:49.-4] | 味道好香 |
| [17:51.28] | 我早已忘记这种… |
| [17:55.79] | 香味 |
| [17:58.59] | 这房子真漂亮 -谢谢,想参观一下吗? |
| [18:03.26] | 我只是客套一下,但,好吧 |
| [18:09.20] | 怎么了? -他坐计程车来时 |
| [18:12.20] | 燃了一根草 |
| [18:16.01] | 什么? |
| [18:17.54] | 抽了一根**… 好了,我懂 |
| [18:23.45] | 我和你在一起,cheech. |
| [18:27.45] | 你认为他会冷静吗? -这里很干燥吗? |
| [18:34.59] | 我来为你倒杯酒 |
| [18:37.03] | 我们可以上第一道菜了 |
| [18:42.67] | 这些是石虾小方饺 |
| [18:47.60] | 芫萎调味酱加上一点点… |
| [18:55.18] | 碎姜 |
| [18:57.21] | 打我**叫我朱蒂 |
| [19:03.59] | 真是太好吃了 -我真高兴你喜欢 |
| [19:08.00] | 喜欢?我可以吃下上百个 |
| [19:13.60] | 只有这一些 |
| [19:16.-2] | 但再过8分半钟 我们就会献上美味的洋葱馅饼 |
| [19:19.84] | 馅饼... |
| [19:21.71] | 馅饼... |
| [19:24.21] | 馅饼... |
| [19:27.74] | 文字都已失去意义 |
| [19:36.12] | 请问需要任何帮忙吗? |
| [19:39.19] | 你看,我也不知道自己在找什么 |
| [19:58.01] | 酷,墨西哥馅饼 |
| [20:02.41] | 这个就像是玉米卷 |
| [20:06.-1] | 你不该影响食欲. -糖欧 |
| [20:11.16] | 再等6分钟半 |
| [20:14.76] | 乾酪通心面!我们要做这个 |
| [20:22.33] | 不,我们不做 -哦,好吧. |
| [20:27.14] | 抱歉 |
| [20:32.71] | 我们何不坐这儿 |
| [20:40.92] | 小熊软糖给我 -不 |
| [20:46.69] | 把他给我 -好吧,分你一半 |
| [20:49.03] | 小熊给我 -你不能全部抢走 |
| [20:52.70] | 这样不值得! |
| [20:55.07] | 小熊落水了,他们快淹死了 |
| [20:59.50] | 不要站在那里.打9-1-1. |
| [21:03.44] | 嗨,伙计们,抓住糖欧逃命啊! |
| [21:07.21] | 救命啊....我淹水了 |
| [21:12.65] | 我受够了,晚餐结束 -什么?为什么? |
| [21:16.39] | 什么?试想一下我到你的办公室然后开始...? |
| [21:21.56] | 我想不出一个合适的例子. |
| [21:23.53] | 这机会我已等了七年 |
| [21:27.23] | 而你却等不了四分半钟之后 再吃洋葱馅饼 |
| [21:39.41] | 所以我跟他说, "对不起.这就是我的感受." |
| [21:42.58] | 他居然说我声音太刺耳搞得他耳朵嗡嗡叫 |
| [21:47.12] | 然后我说,"别吃这个,这是厨房磁铁" |
| [21:52.52] | 结果他不听,我们只好把他留在急救室了. |
| [21:57.66] | 摩尼卡,对不起 -真是个王八蛋 |
| [22:02.27] | 你做的很对 -你不会想为那种人工作的 |
| [22:07.47] | 我以为我的机会来了 |
| [22:10.57] | 不要担心.你是个了不起的厨师 -记得那些赞美的声音?我不是装的 |
| [22:17.31] | 我能拿到全时三小时工资吗? |
| [22:20.42] | 只是一个问题而已.我们以后再说. |
| [22:28.16] | 和希莉亚的状况如何? |
| [22:31.86] | 我简直是太神了 -干得好,罗斯! |
| [22:36.20] | 我就像是詹姆斯密奇尼一样满口狠亵的话 |
| [22:39.07] | 天下最具巧思的猥亵话 |
| [22:42.01] | 有人物,剧情,主题 |
| [22:47.54] | 其中一段的主角是村夫与村姑 |
| [22:52.08] | 然后呢? |
| [22:54.92] | 猥亵话讲完后已经很晚了 |
| [22:58.36] | 而且我们也已精疲力竭所以… |
| [23:01.06] | 你们爱抚? -那种感觉好好 |
| [23:04.16] | 你们想看晚场电影吗? |
| [23:08.07] | 或许吧,但我们不是该等钱德? -他到底跑哪儿去了? |
| [23:12.24] | 我知道现在几点 |
| [23:14.40] | 但我看着WENUS而且我相当不高兴 |
| [23:18.74] | 真的?告诉你吧 |
| [23:20.91] | 你会在乎是因为我在乎,明白了吗?很好! |
| [23:41.-3] | 这样如何? |
| [23:42.93] | 不好意思,这边那? |
| [23:45.47] | 这就说明有效果了. |
| [23:47.50] | 痛不痛? -不痛. |
| [23:50.-2] | 这样呢? |
| [23:52.44] | 爽啦! |
| [24:01.08] | 爽呆了!! |
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