| [00:01.-1] | Mother,just once, can we go to lunch... |
| [00:09.-4] | Or who I'm dating. |
| [01:39.-1] | Still,it's just such reckless spending. |
| [05:05.-1] | Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof. “ |
| [15:02.-4] | Hey,how about Joey Heatherton? |
| [18:10.-2] | I'm not just the person who fluffs the pillows... |
| [18:16.-2] | You know,when I'm with her, I'm so much more than that. |
| [00:03.88] | ...and not talk about what I'm wearing or where my career is going? |
| [00:11.89] | -Ready for the check? -God,yes. - |
| [00:14.09] | -I'll take it. -No,darling. |
| [00:16.13] | I said I'll take it. Here,take it. Go. Run. |
| [00:22.43] | Very sweet. |
| [00:23.90] | -And on what they pay you -Career. - |
| [00:27.67] | You don't have to worry about me. I'm doing fine. |
| [00:31.44] | I'm afraid this has been denied. |
| [00:34.25] | That's impossible. |
| [00:36.01] | That's all right,dear. Here you go. |
| [00:41.65] | The One With The Fake Monica |
| [01:29.93] | How'd someone get your card number? |
| [01:32.44] | No idea. Look how much they spent. |
| [01:35.01] | You only have to pay for the stuff you bought. |
| [01:41.91] | When somebody steals... |
| [01:44.08] | ...they've already thrown caution to the wind. |
| [01:49.02] | Wow,what a geek. They spent $69. 95 on a Wonder Mop. |
| [01:55.49] | That's me. |
| [01:59.83] | You see,when I say geek,I mean |
| [02:03.07] | The hell with it,you bought a $70 mop,you're a geek. |
| [02:08.04] | Oh,yuck. Ross,he's doing it again. |
| [02:12.31] | Marcel,stop humping the lamp. |
| [02:14.61] | Stop humping. Now,Marcel,come Come here,Marcel. |
| [02:18.48] | Oh,no. Not in my room. I'll get him. |
| [02:21.49] | You've got to do something about that. |
| [02:24.19] | What? It's just a phase. |
| [02:26.69] | Well,that's what we said about Joey. |
| [02:31.10] | You'd think you would be more understanding. |
| [02:34.33] | I know. But we're not. |
| [02:36.73] | Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal. |
| [02:40.04] | -Marcel,stop it. Marcel. Bad monkey. -What? |
| [02:44.31] | Let's say my Curious George is no longer curious. |
| [02:56.19] | You are not still going over that thing. |
| [02:59.26] | -This woman's living my life. -What? - |
| [03:02.66] | She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me. |
| [03:06.76] | Look at this. Look. She buys tickets to plays I wanna see. |
| [03:11.70] | She shops where I'm afraid of the salespeople. |
| [03:15.47] | -She spent $300 on art supplies. -You're not an artist. - |
| [03:19.48] | I might be if I had the supplies. |
| [03:23.45] | I mean,I could do all this stuff. Only I don't. |
| [03:28.05] | Oh,Monica,come on. You do cool things. |
| [03:30.72] | Really? Let's compare,shall we? |
| [03:33.22] | Oh,it's so late for "shall we." |
| [03:37.23] | Do I horseback ride in the park? |
| [03:39.63] | -Do I take classes at the New School? -No. - |
| [03:44.44] | She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother. |
| [03:57.65] | -How about Joey Paponi? -No,still too ethnic. - |
| [04:02.00] | -My agent wants a more neutral name. -Joey Switzerland? - |
| [04:11.33] | Plus,I think it should be Joe. Joey makes me sound like I'm this big: |
| [04:17.24] | Which I'm not. |
| [04:20.94] | Joe,Joe,Joe Stalin? |
| [04:26.08] | Stalin. |
| [04:28.51] | Do I know that name? It sounds familiar. |
| [04:31.28] | Well,it does not ring a bell with me. |
| [04:34.92] | But you're more plugged into that show business thing. |
| [04:38.72] | Joe Stalin. |
| [04:44.06] | You know,that's pretty good. |
| [04:46.56] | You might wanna try Joseph. |
| [04:55.04] | Joseph Stalin. |
| [04:58.08] | -I think you'd remember that. -Yes. - |
| [05:02.11] | Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. “ |
| [05:21.67] | Hi. Yes,this is Monica Geller. |
| [05:24.47] | I'm taking some classes with you, and I was wondering what they were. |
| [05:30.11] | I've had a recent head injury and certain numbers |
| [05:34.35] | Barbecue. Oh,did l? See,there you go. |
| [05:41.19] | -What are you doing? -All right,great. - |
| [05:44.46] | Great. Thanks a lot. I'm going to tap class. |
| [05:48.59] | To dance with the woman that stole your card? |
| [05:51.93] | To see what she looks like. |
| [05:53.90] | I'm sure her picture's up at the post office. |
| [05:56.77] | I should get to see who she is. |
| [05:59.50] | You're kind of losing it here. This is becoming a weird obsession. |
| [06:04.68] | This is madness,I tell you. |
| [06:07.08] | For the love of God,Monica, don't do it. |
| [06:12.82] | Thank you. |
| [06:22.00] | -What do you think? -Lots of things. - |
| [06:26.76] | -Which one is she? -May I help you? - |
| [06:29.30] | No,thanks. We're just here to observe. |
| [06:32.34] | You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. |
| [06:36.44] | Spare shoes are over there. |
| [06:41.05] | What does she mean? |
| [06:42.48] | I think she means "You dance a dance class." |
| [06:46.42] | -Come on,come on,come on. -Really? |
| [06:50.42] | Do you see anybody you think could be me? |
| [06:53.26] | Last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class. |
| [06:58.16] | -Let's not have that happen again. -She could be you. - |
| [07:07.21] | Let's get started. |
| [07:09.17] | Five,six. Five,six,seven,eight. |
| [07:17.68] | -Okay,I'm not getting this. -I'm totally getting it. - |
| [07:27.00] | Do you ever feel like you're so uncoordinated? |
| [07:38.64] | What? You click when they click. |
| [07:42.61] | All right,everyone grab a partner. |
| [07:46.94] | All right. And my dead mother said you are it. I'm with Rachel. |
| [07:52.45] | Great,it's gym class all over again. |
| [07:57.29] | You can come up to the front and dance with me. |
| [08:01.93] | Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare? |
| [08:10.67] | It's okay,it's okay. I'm here, I'm here. I'm so sorry I'm late. |
| [08:15.47] | Okay,here I am. So who's the new tense girl? |
| [08:19.91] | -She's your partner. -Hi,I'm Monica. - |
| [08:24.88] | Oh,Monica. |
| [08:28.72] | Hi,I'm Mon |
| [08:30.46] | -Nana. -Monana. -… |
| [08:34.79] | -It's Dutch. -You're kidding. - |
| [08:36.93] | I spent three years in Amsterdam. |
| [08:43.10] | Pennsylvania Dutch. |
| [08:46.64] | And we're dancing. Five,six,seven,eight. |
| [08:58.08] | Hi. |
| [09:01.39] | -Hey. Where have you been? -I just got back from the vet. - |
| [09:06.42] | She's not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone? |
| [09:13.10] | She says Marcel's humping is not a phase. |
| [09:16.37] | Apparently,he's reached sexual maturity. |
| [09:20.47] | Hey,he beat you. |
| [09:26.28] | She says,as time goes on, he's gonna start getting violent. |
| [09:31.75] | So,what does this mean? |
| [09:35.35] | I have to give him up. |
| [09:51.50] | I can't believe it. This sucks. |
| [09:54.64] | You just got him. How could he be an adult already? |
| [09:58.34] | I know. One day he's this little thing... |
| [10:01.68] | ...and then he's this little thing I can't get off my leg. |
| [10:08.75] | Isn't there any way to keep him? |
| [10:11.39] | No. The vet said unless he's in a place... |
| [10:14.53] | ...where he has regular access... … |
| [10:17.76] | ...to some monkey loving... … |
| [10:20.93] | ... he's just gonna get vicious. … |
| [10:23.30] | I just gotta get him into a zoo. |
| [10:27.87] | -How do you get a monkey into a zoo? -I know. - |
| [10:35.11] | No,that's popes into a Vokswagen. |
| [10:39.78] | We're applying to a lot. Our first choice would be a big state zoo. |
| [10:44.86] | You know,like San Diego. Right? |
| [10:49.59] | But that may just be a pipe dream. He's out-of-state. |
| [10:55.90] | My vet knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility. |
| [11:00.47] | But that's two blocks from the beach. It's a total party zoo. |
| [11:10.58] | We found the girl. |
| [11:12.42] | -Did you call the cops? -We took her to lunch. - |
| [11:15.55] | Oh,your own brand of vigilante justice. |
| [11:19.56] | Are you insane? This woman stole from you. |
| [11:22.93] | She stole. She's a stealer. |
| [11:26.33] | After you're with this woman for 10 minutes,you forget that. |
| [11:31.34] | I mean,she's this astounding person with this amazing spirit. |
| [11:36.27] | Which she probably stole from some cheerleader. |
| [11:41.85] | -Take off their hats. -Popes in a Vokswagen. - |
| [11:47.59] | I love that joke. |
| [11:53.06] | -No way. No way did you do this. -Monana was very brave. - |
| [11:58.63] | We told them we were the Gundersons in room 61 5... |
| [12:02.90] | ...only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire floor. |
| [12:07.24] | When they saw that we're short and have breasts.... |
| [12:11.38] | They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel. Me. |
| [12:15.78] | Go,Monana. |
| [12:19.22] | You ladies are not the only ones living the dream. |
| [12:23.09] | I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. |
| [12:30.06] | Oh,by the way... |
| [12:31.56] | ...tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show. |
| [12:36.27] | -Excuse me? -There's an open call for Cats. |
| [12:39.34] | I'm thinking we sing "Memories"... |
| [12:42.31] | ...and make complete fools of ourselves. What do you say? |
| [12:46.81] | No,no,no. Remember who you're dealing with here. |
| [12:51.32] | I can't even stand in front of a tap class. |
| [12:54.75] | That's because of your Amish background. |
| [12:59.22] | -What? -You're Pennsylvania Dutch,right? - |
| [13:02.16] | Right. Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned. |
| [13:08.63] | I was just like you. And then,one day, I saw a movie that changed my life. |
| [13:14.77] | Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? |
| [13:17.48] | I thought that movie was so incredibly boring. |
| [13:23.08] | That thing at the end where the kid... |
| [13:25.92] | ...kills himself because he can't be in the play? … |
| [13:30.12] | It's like,"Kid,wait a year. Leave home,do some community theater." |
| [13:37.13] | I thought,"That's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back." |
| [13:43.57] | That scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do. |
| [13:48.27] | Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire. |
| [13:59.45] | Oh,God. |
| [14:02.59] | We didn't get into Scranton. |
| [14:06.92] | That was,like,our safety zoo. |
| [14:10.66] | They take,like,dogs and cows. |
| [14:16.17] | See,I don't know who this is harder on,me or him. |
| [14:21.64] | I'd say that chair's taking the brunt of it. |
| [14:26.94] | Marcel. Marcel. Marcel,no. |
| [14:31.68] | Good boy. See? How can nobody want him? |
| [14:35.79] | Somebody will. |
| [14:40.62] | You know,there already is a Joseph Stalin. |
| [14:48.53] | You're kidding. |
| [14:51.10] | Apparently,he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered people. |
| [14:57.17] | -You'd think you would've known that. -You'd think I would've. - |
| [15:06.15] | Come on,I told you I don't wanna go back to Joey. |
| [15:13.62] | What do you think a good stage name for me would be? |
| [15:19.53] | Flame Boy. |
| [15:28.51] | Where exactly is your zoo? |
| [15:30.44] | Well,it's technically not a zoo,per se. |
| [15:33.34] | It's more of an interactive wildlife experience. |
| [15:37.65] | Let me ask you some questions about Marcel. |
| [15:41.85] | -Does he fight with other animals? -No,no. He's very docile. - |
| [15:47.59] | Even if he were cornered? |
| [15:53.16] | Well,I don't know. Why? |
| [15:55.77] | How is he at handling small objects? |
| [16:00.04] | He can hold a banana, if that's what you mean. |
| [16:04.07] | What about a hammer or a small blade? |
| [16:10.45] | Why would he need a blade? |
| [16:13.52] | If he's up against an animal with horns... |
| [16:16.59] | ...you got to give him something. |
| [16:19.12] | Otherwise,it's just cruel. |
| [16:24.19] | -He got into San Diego. -What? - |
| [16:27.73] | We came back from our walk. The phone was ringing.... |
| [16:31.40] | He's in. |
| [16:32.64] | Did you hear that,Marcel? San Diego. San Diego. |
| [16:38.18] | You're making a mistake. San Diego's good... |
| [16:41.38] | ... but I'll start him off against a blind rabbit... |
| [16:45.08] | ...and give you 20% of the gate. |
| [17:08.31] | Where have you been? |
| [17:09.84] | Monica and I just crashed an embassy party. |
| [17:14.04] | I think I kissed an archbishop. |
| [17:18.38] | But,of course, it could've been a chef. |
| [17:23.05] | -Are you drunk? -No. - |
| [17:31.16] | -I'm lying. I am so drunk. -Oh,God. - |
| [17:36.60] | You know what? You could've called. |
| [17:39.20] | I've been worried Monica. |
| [17:48.05] | Water rules. |
| [17:53.18] | Yes. Yes,it does. |
| [17:55.35] | The restaurant called. They wanna know if you're showing up for work. |
| [17:59.89] | Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today. |
| [18:04.09] | You're gonna lose your job. This is not you. |
| [18:08.17] | No,it is me. |
| [18:13.54] | ...and pays the bills right away. |
| [18:23.71] | I'm Monana. |
| [18:31.72] | Hello? Yes,she is. Hold on a second please. |
| [18:36.33] | Monana,it's for you. The credit card people. |
| [18:41.77] | Hello. |
| [18:45.37] | Yes? |
| [18:48.04] | Oh,my God. |
| [18:50.91] | -Thanks. -What? |
| [18:55.21] | They've arrested Monica. |
| [19:08.23] | -Hi. -Hi. |
| [19:10.63] | How are you? |
| [19:12.46] | Not too bad. Fortunately,blue's my color. |
| [19:16.47] | How did you know I was here? |
| [19:19.84] | Because I'm Monica Geller. |
| [19:25.11] | It was my credit card you were using. |
| [19:28.01] | That I was not expecting. |
| [19:30.48] | I want you to know, I didn't turn you in. |
| [19:35.22] | -Thanks. -No,thank you. - |
| [19:38.26] | You have given me so much. |
| [19:40.69] | I'd never have gotten to sing... |
| [19:43.13] | ... "Memories" at the Winter Garden Theater. … |
| [19:46.00] | Actually,you only got to sing "Memo" |
| [19:50.50] | I can't believe you're here. What will I do without you? |
| [19:54.64] | Who's gonna crash parties with me? |
| [19:57.31] | Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus? |
| [20:00.34] | I started my day by peeing in front of 25 other women... |
| [20:04.75] | ...and you're worried about who'll take you to the circus? |
| [20:10.25] | Well,not worried, you know,just wondering. |
| [20:14.12] | There's nothing to wonder about. |
| [20:16.83] | You'll go back to being who you were. That's who you are. |
| [20:21.10] | -Not necessarily. -Yes,necessarily. - |
| [20:23.70] | I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the Amish thing. |
| [20:30.71] | -I'm not actually Amish. -Really? Then why are you like that? - |
| [20:51.70] | -You,by the door,in or out? -ln. - |
| [21:01.81] | -You're getting it all wrong. -But at least I'm doing it. - |
| [21:20.66] | This is the final boarding call for Flight 67... |
| [21:24.73] | ... to San Diego at gate 42A. |
| [21:27.16] | Okay,goodbye,little monkey guy. All right,I wrote you this poem. |
| [21:33.07] | Okay,but don't eat it till you get on the plane. |
| [21:36.41] | Thank you,Aunt Phoebe. |
| [21:42.38] | Okay,bye,champ. |
| [21:44.88] | There'll be a lot of babes in San Diego... |
| [21:48.00] | ... but remember, there's also a lot to learn. |
| [21:57.36] | I don't know what to say,Ross. It's a monkey. |
| [22:01.06] | Just say what you feel,Joey. |
| [22:05.54] | -Marcel,I'm hungry. -That was good. - |
| [22:12.31] | Marcel,this is for you. |
| [22:15.01] | It's just,you know,something... |
| [22:19.68] | ...to do on the plane. |
| [22:24.12] | If you don't mind, I'd like a moment alone. |
| [22:27.59] | -Oh,sure. Absolutely. -Go ahead. |
| [22:35.53] | Marcel,come here. Come here. Come here. |
| [22:40.24] | Well,buddy... |
| [22:43.94] | ...this is it. |
| [22:45.81] | Just a couple of things I wanted to say. |
| [22:50.11] | I'm really gonna miss you. |
| [22:53.05] | You know,I'm never gonna forget about you. |
| [22:56.09] | You've been more than just a pet to me. |
| [23:01.19] | You've been more like a Okay. Marcel. |
| [23:05.50] | Would you leave my leg alone? |
| [23:08.03] | Would you stop humping me for two seconds? |
| [23:11.34] | Okay,would you just take him away? Just take him. |
| [23:37.56] | Oh,that I were a glove upon that hand... |
| [23:41.53] | ...that I might touch thy cheek. |
| [23:45.17] | -That's fine. Thank you. -Next. |
| [23:53.74] | I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio. |
| [23:56.65] | -Name? -Holden McGroin. - |
| [00:01.-1] | Mother, just once, can we go to lunch... |
| [00:09.-4] | Or who I' m dating. |
| [01:39.-1] | Still, it' s just such reckless spending. |
| [05:05.-1] | Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof. " |
| [15:02.-4] | Hey, how about Joey Heatherton? |
| [18:10.-2] | I' m not just the person who fluffs the pillows... |
| [18:16.-2] | You know, when I' m with her, I' m so much more than that. |
| [00:03.88] | ... and not talk about what I' m wearing or where my career is going? |
| [00:11.89] | Ready for the check? God, yes. |
| [00:14.09] | I' ll take it. No, darling. |
| [00:16.13] | I said I' ll take it. Here, take it. Go. Run. |
| [00:22.43] | Very sweet. |
| [00:23.90] | And on what they pay you Career. |
| [00:27.67] | You don' t have to worry about me. I' m doing fine. |
| [00:31.44] | I' m afraid this has been denied. |
| [00:34.25] | That' s impossible. |
| [00:36.01] | That' s all right, dear. Here you go. |
| [00:41.65] | The One With The Fake Monica |
| [01:29.93] | How' d someone get your card number? |
| [01:32.44] | No idea. Look how much they spent. |
| [01:35.01] | You only have to pay for the stuff you bought. |
| [01:41.91] | When somebody steals... |
| [01:44.08] | ... they' ve already thrown caution to the wind. |
| [01:49.02] | Wow, what a geek. They spent 69. 95 on a Wonder Mop. |
| [01:55.49] | That' s me. |
| [01:59.83] | You see, when I say geek, I mean |
| [02:03.07] | The hell with it, you bought a 70 mop, you' re a geek. |
| [02:08.04] | Oh, yuck. Ross, he' s doing it again. |
| [02:12.31] | Marcel, stop humping the lamp. |
| [02:14.61] | Stop humping. Now, Marcel, come Come here, Marcel. |
| [02:18.48] | Oh, no. Not in my room. I' ll get him. |
| [02:21.49] | You' ve got to do something about that. |
| [02:24.19] | What? It' s just a phase. |
| [02:26.69] | Well, that' s what we said about Joey. |
| [02:31.10] | You' d think you would be more understanding. |
| [02:34.33] | I know. But we' re not. |
| [02:36.73] | Would you all relax? It' s not that big a deal. |
| [02:40.04] | Marcel, stop it. Marcel. Bad monkey. What? |
| [02:44.31] | Let' s say my Curious George is no longer curious. |
| [02:56.19] | You are not still going over that thing. |
| [02:59.26] | This woman' s living my life. What? |
| [03:02.66] | She' s living my life, and she' s doing it better than me. |
| [03:06.76] | Look at this. Look. She buys tickets to plays I wanna see. |
| [03:11.70] | She shops where I' m afraid of the salespeople. |
| [03:15.47] | She spent 300 on art supplies. You' re not an artist. |
| [03:19.48] | I might be if I had the supplies. |
| [03:23.45] | I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don' t. |
| [03:28.05] | Oh, Monica, come on. You do cool things. |
| [03:30.72] | Really? Let' s compare, shall we? |
| [03:33.22] | Oh, it' s so late for " shall we." |
| [03:37.23] | Do I horseback ride in the park? |
| [03:39.63] | Do I take classes at the New School? No. |
| [03:44.44] | She' s got everything I want, and she doesn' t have my mother. |
| [03:57.65] | How about Joey Paponi? No, still too ethnic. |
| [04:02.00] | My agent wants a more neutral name. Joey Switzerland? |
| [04:11.33] | Plus, I think it should be Joe. Joey makes me sound like I' m this big: |
| [04:17.24] | Which I' m not. |
| [04:20.94] | Joe, Joe, Joe Stalin? |
| [04:26.08] | Stalin. |
| [04:28.51] | Do I know that name? It sounds familiar. |
| [04:31.28] | Well, it does not ring a bell with me. |
| [04:34.92] | But you' re more plugged into that show business thing. |
| [04:38.72] | Joe Stalin. |
| [04:44.06] | You know, that' s pretty good. |
| [04:46.56] | You might wanna try Joseph. |
| [04:55.04] | Joseph Stalin. |
| [04:58.08] | I think you' d remember that. Yes. |
| [05:02.11] | Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. " |
| [05:21.67] | Hi. Yes, this is Monica Geller. |
| [05:24.47] | I' m taking some classes with you, and I was wondering what they were. |
| [05:30.11] | I' ve had a recent head injury and certain numbers |
| [05:34.35] | Barbecue. Oh, did l? See, there you go. |
| [05:41.19] | What are you doing? All right, great. |
| [05:44.46] | Great. Thanks a lot. I' m going to tap class. |
| [05:48.59] | To dance with the woman that stole your card? |
| [05:51.93] | To see what she looks like. |
| [05:53.90] | I' m sure her picture' s up at the post office. |
| [05:56.77] | I should get to see who she is. |
| [05:59.50] | You' re kind of losing it here. This is becoming a weird obsession. |
| [06:04.68] | This is madness, I tell you. |
| [06:07.08] | For the love of God, Monica, don' t do it. |
| [06:12.82] | Thank you. |
| [06:22.00] | What do you think? Lots of things. |
| [06:26.76] | Which one is she? May I help you? |
| [06:29.30] | No, thanks. We' re just here to observe. |
| [06:32.34] | You don' t observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. |
| [06:36.44] | Spare shoes are over there. |
| [06:41.05] | What does she mean? |
| [06:42.48] | I think she means " You dance a dance class." |
| [06:46.42] | Come on, come on, come on. Really? |
| [06:50.42] | Do you see anybody you think could be me? |
| [06:53.26] | Last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class. |
| [06:58.16] | Let' s not have that happen again. She could be you. |
| [07:07.21] | Let' s get started. |
| [07:09.17] | Five, six. Five, six, seven, eight. |
| [07:17.68] | Okay, I' m not getting this. I' m totally getting it. |
| [07:27.00] | Do you ever feel like you' re so uncoordinated? |
| [07:38.64] | What? You click when they click. |
| [07:42.61] | All right, everyone grab a partner. |
| [07:46.94] | All right. And my dead mother said you are it. I' m with Rachel. |
| [07:52.45] | Great, it' s gym class all over again. |
| [07:57.29] | You can come up to the front and dance with me. |
| [08:01.93] | Why don' t I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare? |
| [08:10.67] | It' s okay, it' s okay. I' m here, I' m here. I' m so sorry I' m late. |
| [08:15.47] | Okay, here I am. So who' s the new tense girl? |
| [08:19.91] | She' s your partner. Hi, I' m Monica. |
| [08:24.88] | Oh, Monica. |
| [08:28.72] | Hi, I' m Mon |
| [08:30.46] | Nana. Monana. |
| [08:34.79] | It' s Dutch. You' re kidding. |
| [08:36.93] | I spent three years in Amsterdam. |
| [08:43.10] | Pennsylvania Dutch. |
| [08:46.64] | And we' re dancing. Five, six, seven, eight. |
| [08:58.08] | Hi. |
| [09:01.39] | Hey. Where have you been? I just got back from the vet. |
| [09:06.42] | She' s not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone? |
| [09:13.10] | She says Marcel' s humping is not a phase. |
| [09:16.37] | Apparently, he' s reached sexual maturity. |
| [09:20.47] | Hey, he beat you. |
| [09:26.28] | She says, as time goes on, he' s gonna start getting violent. |
| [09:31.75] | So, what does this mean? |
| [09:35.35] | I have to give him up. |
| [09:51.50] | I can' t believe it. This sucks. |
| [09:54.64] | You just got him. How could he be an adult already? |
| [09:58.34] | I know. One day he' s this little thing... |
| [10:01.68] | ... and then he' s this little thing I can' t get off my leg. |
| [10:08.75] | Isn' t there any way to keep him? |
| [10:11.39] | No. The vet said unless he' s in a place... |
| [10:14.53] | ... where he has regular access... |
| [10:17.76] | ... to some monkey loving... |
| [10:20.93] | ... he' s just gonna get vicious. |
| [10:23.30] | I just gotta get him into a zoo. |
| [10:27.87] | How do you get a monkey into a zoo? I know. |
| [10:35.11] | No, that' s popes into a Vokswagen. |
| [10:39.78] | We' re applying to a lot. Our first choice would be a big state zoo. |
| [10:44.86] | You know, like San Diego. Right? |
| [10:49.59] | But that may just be a pipe dream. He' s outofstate. |
| [10:55.90] | My vet knows someone at Miami, so that' s a possibility. |
| [11:00.47] | But that' s two blocks from the beach. It' s a total party zoo. |
| [11:10.58] | We found the girl. |
| [11:12.42] | Did you call the cops? We took her to lunch. |
| [11:15.55] | Oh, your own brand of vigilante justice. |
| [11:19.56] | Are you insane? This woman stole from you. |
| [11:22.93] | She stole. She' s a stealer. |
| [11:26.33] | After you' re with this woman for 10 minutes, you forget that. |
| [11:31.34] | I mean, she' s this astounding person with this amazing spirit. |
| [11:36.27] | Which she probably stole from some cheerleader. |
| [11:41.85] | Take off their hats. Popes in a Vokswagen. |
| [11:47.59] | I love that joke. |
| [11:53.06] | No way. No way did you do this. Monana was very brave. |
| [11:58.63] | We told them we were the Gundersons in room 61 5... |
| [12:02.90] | ... only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire floor. |
| [12:07.24] | When they saw that we' re short and have breasts.... |
| [12:11.38] | They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel. Me. |
| [12:15.78] | Go, Monana. |
| [12:19.22] | You ladies are not the only ones living the dream. |
| [12:23.09] | I get to go pour coffee for people I don' t know. Don' t wait up. |
| [12:30.06] | Oh, by the way... |
| [12:31.56] | ... tomorrow we' re auditioning for a Broadway show. |
| [12:36.27] | Excuse me? There' s an open call for Cats. |
| [12:39.34] | I' m thinking we sing " Memories"... |
| [12:42.31] | ... and make complete fools of ourselves. What do you say? |
| [12:46.81] | No, no, no. Remember who you' re dealing with here. |
| [12:51.32] | I can' t even stand in front of a tap class. |
| [12:54.75] | That' s because of your Amish background. |
| [12:59.22] | What? You' re Pennsylvania Dutch, right? |
| [13:02.16] | Right. Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned. |
| [13:08.63] | I was just like you. And then, one day, I saw a movie that changed my life. |
| [13:14.77] | Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? |
| [13:17.48] | I thought that movie was so incredibly boring. |
| [13:23.08] | That thing at the end where the kid... |
| [13:25.92] | ... kills himself because he can' t be in the play? |
| [13:30.12] | It' s like," Kid, wait a year. Leave home, do some community theater." |
| [13:37.13] | I thought," That' s two hours of my life that I' m never getting back." |
| [13:43.57] | That scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do. |
| [13:48.27] | Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire. |
| [13:59.45] | Oh, God. |
| [14:02.59] | We didn' t get into Scranton. |
| [14:06.92] | That was, like, our safety zoo. |
| [14:10.66] | They take, like, dogs and cows. |
| [14:16.17] | See, I don' t know who this is harder on, me or him. |
| [14:21.64] | I' d say that chair' s taking the brunt of it. |
| [14:26.94] | Marcel. Marcel. Marcel, no. |
| [14:31.68] | Good boy. See? How can nobody want him? |
| [14:35.79] | Somebody will. |
| [14:40.62] | You know, there already is a Joseph Stalin. |
| [14:48.53] | You' re kidding. |
| [14:51.10] | Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered people. |
| [14:57.17] | You' d think you would' ve known that. You' d think I would' ve. |
| [15:06.15] | Come on, I told you I don' t wanna go back to Joey. |
| [15:13.62] | What do you think a good stage name for me would be? |
| [15:19.53] | Flame Boy. |
| [15:28.51] | Where exactly is your zoo? |
| [15:30.44] | Well, it' s technically not a zoo, per se. |
| [15:33.34] | It' s more of an interactive wildlife experience. |
| [15:37.65] | Let me ask you some questions about Marcel. |
| [15:41.85] | Does he fight with other animals? No, no. He' s very docile. |
| [15:47.59] | Even if he were cornered? |
| [15:53.16] | Well, I don' t know. Why? |
| [15:55.77] | How is he at handling small objects? |
| [16:00.04] | He can hold a banana, if that' s what you mean. |
| [16:04.07] | What about a hammer or a small blade? |
| [16:10.45] | Why would he need a blade? |
| [16:13.52] | If he' s up against an animal with horns... |
| [16:16.59] | ... you got to give him something. |
| [16:19.12] | Otherwise, it' s just cruel. |
| [16:24.19] | He got into San Diego. What? |
| [16:27.73] | We came back from our walk. The phone was ringing.... |
| [16:31.40] | He' s in. |
| [16:32.64] | Did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego. |
| [16:38.18] | You' re making a mistake. San Diego' s good... |
| [16:41.38] | ... but I' ll start him off against a blind rabbit... |
| [16:45.08] | ... and give you 20 of the gate. |
| [17:08.31] | Where have you been? |
| [17:09.84] | Monica and I just crashed an embassy party. |
| [17:14.04] | I think I kissed an archbishop. |
| [17:18.38] | But, of course, it could' ve been a chef. |
| [17:23.05] | Are you drunk? No. |
| [17:31.16] | I' m lying. I am so drunk. Oh, God. |
| [17:36.60] | You know what? You could' ve called. |
| [17:39.20] | I' ve been worried Monica. |
| [17:48.05] | Water rules. |
| [17:53.18] | Yes. Yes, it does. |
| [17:55.35] | The restaurant called. They wanna know if you' re showing up for work. |
| [17:59.89] | Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today. |
| [18:04.09] | You' re gonna lose your job. This is not you. |
| [18:08.17] | No, it is me. |
| [18:13.54] | ... and pays the bills right away. |
| [18:23.71] | I' m Monana. |
| [18:31.72] | Hello? Yes, she is. Hold on a second please. |
| [18:36.33] | Monana, it' s for you. The credit card people. |
| [18:41.77] | Hello. |
| [18:45.37] | Yes? |
| [18:48.04] | Oh, my God. |
| [18:50.91] | Thanks. What? |
| [18:55.21] | They' ve arrested Monica. |
| [19:08.23] | Hi. Hi. |
| [19:10.63] | How are you? |
| [19:12.46] | Not too bad. Fortunately, blue' s my color. |
| [19:16.47] | How did you know I was here? |
| [19:19.84] | Because I' m Monica Geller. |
| [19:25.11] | It was my credit card you were using. |
| [19:28.01] | That I was not expecting. |
| [19:30.48] | I want you to know, I didn' t turn you in. |
| [19:35.22] | Thanks. No, thank you. |
| [19:38.26] | You have given me so much. |
| [19:40.69] | I' d never have gotten to sing... |
| [19:43.13] | ... " Memories" at the Winter Garden Theater. |
| [19:46.00] | Actually, you only got to sing " Memo" |
| [19:50.50] | I can' t believe you' re here. What will I do without you? |
| [19:54.64] | Who' s gonna crash parties with me? |
| [19:57.31] | Who' s gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus? |
| [20:00.34] | I started my day by peeing in front of 25 other women... |
| [20:04.75] | ... and you' re worried about who' ll take you to the circus? |
| [20:10.25] | Well, not worried, you know, just wondering. |
| [20:14.12] | There' s nothing to wonder about. |
| [20:16.83] | You' ll go back to being who you were. That' s who you are. |
| [20:21.10] | Not necessarily. Yes, necessarily. |
| [20:23.70] | I don' t know what it is. Maybe it' s the Amish thing. |
| [20:30.71] | I' m not actually Amish. Really? Then why are you like that? |
| [20:51.70] | You, by the door, in or out? ln. |
| [21:01.81] | You' re getting it all wrong. But at least I' m doing it. |
| [21:20.66] | This is the final boarding call for Flight 67... |
| [21:24.73] | ... to San Diego at gate 42A. |
| [21:27.16] | Okay, goodbye, little monkey guy. All right, I wrote you this poem. |
| [21:33.07] | Okay, but don' t eat it till you get on the plane. |
| [21:36.41] | Thank you, Aunt Phoebe. |
| [21:42.38] | Okay, bye, champ. |
| [21:44.88] | There' ll be a lot of babes in San Diego... |
| [21:48.00] | ... but remember, there' s also a lot to learn. |
| [21:57.36] | I don' t know what to say, Ross. It' s a monkey. |
| [22:01.06] | Just say what you feel, Joey. |
| [22:05.54] | Marcel, I' m hungry. That was good. |
| [22:12.31] | Marcel, this is for you. |
| [22:15.01] | It' s just, you know, something... |
| [22:19.68] | ... to do on the plane. |
| [22:24.12] | If you don' t mind, I' d like a moment alone. |
| [22:27.59] | Oh, sure. Absolutely. Go ahead. |
| [22:35.53] | Marcel, come here. Come here. Come here. |
| [22:40.24] | Well, buddy... |
| [22:43.94] | ... this is it. |
| [22:45.81] | Just a couple of things I wanted to say. |
| [22:50.11] | I' m really gonna miss you. |
| [22:53.05] | You know, I' m never gonna forget about you. |
| [22:56.09] | You' ve been more than just a pet to me. |
| [23:01.19] | You' ve been more like a Okay. Marcel. |
| [23:05.50] | Would you leave my leg alone? |
| [23:08.03] | Would you stop humping me for two seconds? |
| [23:11.34] | Okay, would you just take him away? Just take him. |
| [23:37.56] | Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand... |
| [23:41.53] | ... that I might touch thy cheek. |
| [23:45.17] | That' s fine. Thank you. Next. |
| [23:53.74] | I' ll be reading for the role of Mercutio. |
| [23:56.65] | Name? Holden McGroin. |
| [00:01.-1] | Mother, just once, can we go to lunch... |
| [00:09.-4] | Or who I' m dating. |
| [01:39.-1] | Still, it' s just such reckless spending. |
| [05:05.-1] | Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof. " |
| [15:02.-4] | Hey, how about Joey Heatherton? |
| [18:10.-2] | I' m not just the person who fluffs the pillows... |
| [18:16.-2] | You know, when I' m with her, I' m so much more than that. |
| [00:03.88] | ... and not talk about what I' m wearing or where my career is going? |
| [00:11.89] | Ready for the check? God, yes. |
| [00:14.09] | I' ll take it. No, darling. |
| [00:16.13] | I said I' ll take it. Here, take it. Go. Run. |
| [00:22.43] | Very sweet. |
| [00:23.90] | And on what they pay you Career. |
| [00:27.67] | You don' t have to worry about me. I' m doing fine. |
| [00:31.44] | I' m afraid this has been denied. |
| [00:34.25] | That' s impossible. |
| [00:36.01] | That' s all right, dear. Here you go. |
| [00:41.65] | The One With The Fake Monica |
| [01:29.93] | How' d someone get your card number? |
| [01:32.44] | No idea. Look how much they spent. |
| [01:35.01] | You only have to pay for the stuff you bought. |
| [01:41.91] | When somebody steals... |
| [01:44.08] | ... they' ve already thrown caution to the wind. |
| [01:49.02] | Wow, what a geek. They spent 69. 95 on a Wonder Mop. |
| [01:55.49] | That' s me. |
| [01:59.83] | You see, when I say geek, I mean |
| [02:03.07] | The hell with it, you bought a 70 mop, you' re a geek. |
| [02:08.04] | Oh, yuck. Ross, he' s doing it again. |
| [02:12.31] | Marcel, stop humping the lamp. |
| [02:14.61] | Stop humping. Now, Marcel, come Come here, Marcel. |
| [02:18.48] | Oh, no. Not in my room. I' ll get him. |
| [02:21.49] | You' ve got to do something about that. |
| [02:24.19] | What? It' s just a phase. |
| [02:26.69] | Well, that' s what we said about Joey. |
| [02:31.10] | You' d think you would be more understanding. |
| [02:34.33] | I know. But we' re not. |
| [02:36.73] | Would you all relax? It' s not that big a deal. |
| [02:40.04] | Marcel, stop it. Marcel. Bad monkey. What? |
| [02:44.31] | Let' s say my Curious George is no longer curious. |
| [02:56.19] | You are not still going over that thing. |
| [02:59.26] | This woman' s living my life. What? |
| [03:02.66] | She' s living my life, and she' s doing it better than me. |
| [03:06.76] | Look at this. Look. She buys tickets to plays I wanna see. |
| [03:11.70] | She shops where I' m afraid of the salespeople. |
| [03:15.47] | She spent 300 on art supplies. You' re not an artist. |
| [03:19.48] | I might be if I had the supplies. |
| [03:23.45] | I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don' t. |
| [03:28.05] | Oh, Monica, come on. You do cool things. |
| [03:30.72] | Really? Let' s compare, shall we? |
| [03:33.22] | Oh, it' s so late for " shall we." |
| [03:37.23] | Do I horseback ride in the park? |
| [03:39.63] | Do I take classes at the New School? No. |
| [03:44.44] | She' s got everything I want, and she doesn' t have my mother. |
| [03:57.65] | How about Joey Paponi? No, still too ethnic. |
| [04:02.00] | My agent wants a more neutral name. Joey Switzerland? |
| [04:11.33] | Plus, I think it should be Joe. Joey makes me sound like I' m this big: |
| [04:17.24] | Which I' m not. |
| [04:20.94] | Joe, Joe, Joe Stalin? |
| [04:26.08] | Stalin. |
| [04:28.51] | Do I know that name? It sounds familiar. |
| [04:31.28] | Well, it does not ring a bell with me. |
| [04:34.92] | But you' re more plugged into that show business thing. |
| [04:38.72] | Joe Stalin. |
| [04:44.06] | You know, that' s pretty good. |
| [04:46.56] | You might wanna try Joseph. |
| [04:55.04] | Joseph Stalin. |
| [04:58.08] | I think you' d remember that. Yes. |
| [05:02.11] | Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. " |
| [05:21.67] | Hi. Yes, this is Monica Geller. |
| [05:24.47] | I' m taking some classes with you, and I was wondering what they were. |
| [05:30.11] | I' ve had a recent head injury and certain numbers |
| [05:34.35] | Barbecue. Oh, did l? See, there you go. |
| [05:41.19] | What are you doing? All right, great. |
| [05:44.46] | Great. Thanks a lot. I' m going to tap class. |
| [05:48.59] | To dance with the woman that stole your card? |
| [05:51.93] | To see what she looks like. |
| [05:53.90] | I' m sure her picture' s up at the post office. |
| [05:56.77] | I should get to see who she is. |
| [05:59.50] | You' re kind of losing it here. This is becoming a weird obsession. |
| [06:04.68] | This is madness, I tell you. |
| [06:07.08] | For the love of God, Monica, don' t do it. |
| [06:12.82] | Thank you. |
| [06:22.00] | What do you think? Lots of things. |
| [06:26.76] | Which one is she? May I help you? |
| [06:29.30] | No, thanks. We' re just here to observe. |
| [06:32.34] | You don' t observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. |
| [06:36.44] | Spare shoes are over there. |
| [06:41.05] | What does she mean? |
| [06:42.48] | I think she means " You dance a dance class." |
| [06:46.42] | Come on, come on, come on. Really? |
| [06:50.42] | Do you see anybody you think could be me? |
| [06:53.26] | Last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class. |
| [06:58.16] | Let' s not have that happen again. She could be you. |
| [07:07.21] | Let' s get started. |
| [07:09.17] | Five, six. Five, six, seven, eight. |
| [07:17.68] | Okay, I' m not getting this. I' m totally getting it. |
| [07:27.00] | Do you ever feel like you' re so uncoordinated? |
| [07:38.64] | What? You click when they click. |
| [07:42.61] | All right, everyone grab a partner. |
| [07:46.94] | All right. And my dead mother said you are it. I' m with Rachel. |
| [07:52.45] | Great, it' s gym class all over again. |
| [07:57.29] | You can come up to the front and dance with me. |
| [08:01.93] | Why don' t I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare? |
| [08:10.67] | It' s okay, it' s okay. I' m here, I' m here. I' m so sorry I' m late. |
| [08:15.47] | Okay, here I am. So who' s the new tense girl? |
| [08:19.91] | She' s your partner. Hi, I' m Monica. |
| [08:24.88] | Oh, Monica. |
| [08:28.72] | Hi, I' m Mon |
| [08:30.46] | Nana. Monana. |
| [08:34.79] | It' s Dutch. You' re kidding. |
| [08:36.93] | I spent three years in Amsterdam. |
| [08:43.10] | Pennsylvania Dutch. |
| [08:46.64] | And we' re dancing. Five, six, seven, eight. |
| [08:58.08] | Hi. |
| [09:01.39] | Hey. Where have you been? I just got back from the vet. |
| [09:06.42] | She' s not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone? |
| [09:13.10] | She says Marcel' s humping is not a phase. |
| [09:16.37] | Apparently, he' s reached sexual maturity. |
| [09:20.47] | Hey, he beat you. |
| [09:26.28] | She says, as time goes on, he' s gonna start getting violent. |
| [09:31.75] | So, what does this mean? |
| [09:35.35] | I have to give him up. |
| [09:51.50] | I can' t believe it. This sucks. |
| [09:54.64] | You just got him. How could he be an adult already? |
| [09:58.34] | I know. One day he' s this little thing... |
| [10:01.68] | ... and then he' s this little thing I can' t get off my leg. |
| [10:08.75] | Isn' t there any way to keep him? |
| [10:11.39] | No. The vet said unless he' s in a place... |
| [10:14.53] | ... where he has regular access... |
| [10:17.76] | ... to some monkey loving... |
| [10:20.93] | ... he' s just gonna get vicious. |
| [10:23.30] | I just gotta get him into a zoo. |
| [10:27.87] | How do you get a monkey into a zoo? I know. |
| [10:35.11] | No, that' s popes into a Vokswagen. |
| [10:39.78] | We' re applying to a lot. Our first choice would be a big state zoo. |
| [10:44.86] | You know, like San Diego. Right? |
| [10:49.59] | But that may just be a pipe dream. He' s outofstate. |
| [10:55.90] | My vet knows someone at Miami, so that' s a possibility. |
| [11:00.47] | But that' s two blocks from the beach. It' s a total party zoo. |
| [11:10.58] | We found the girl. |
| [11:12.42] | Did you call the cops? We took her to lunch. |
| [11:15.55] | Oh, your own brand of vigilante justice. |
| [11:19.56] | Are you insane? This woman stole from you. |
| [11:22.93] | She stole. She' s a stealer. |
| [11:26.33] | After you' re with this woman for 10 minutes, you forget that. |
| [11:31.34] | I mean, she' s this astounding person with this amazing spirit. |
| [11:36.27] | Which she probably stole from some cheerleader. |
| [11:41.85] | Take off their hats. Popes in a Vokswagen. |
| [11:47.59] | I love that joke. |
| [11:53.06] | No way. No way did you do this. Monana was very brave. |
| [11:58.63] | We told them we were the Gundersons in room 61 5... |
| [12:02.90] | ... only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire floor. |
| [12:07.24] | When they saw that we' re short and have breasts.... |
| [12:11.38] | They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel. Me. |
| [12:15.78] | Go, Monana. |
| [12:19.22] | You ladies are not the only ones living the dream. |
| [12:23.09] | I get to go pour coffee for people I don' t know. Don' t wait up. |
| [12:30.06] | Oh, by the way... |
| [12:31.56] | ... tomorrow we' re auditioning for a Broadway show. |
| [12:36.27] | Excuse me? There' s an open call for Cats. |
| [12:39.34] | I' m thinking we sing " Memories"... |
| [12:42.31] | ... and make complete fools of ourselves. What do you say? |
| [12:46.81] | No, no, no. Remember who you' re dealing with here. |
| [12:51.32] | I can' t even stand in front of a tap class. |
| [12:54.75] | That' s because of your Amish background. |
| [12:59.22] | What? You' re Pennsylvania Dutch, right? |
| [13:02.16] | Right. Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned. |
| [13:08.63] | I was just like you. And then, one day, I saw a movie that changed my life. |
| [13:14.77] | Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? |
| [13:17.48] | I thought that movie was so incredibly boring. |
| [13:23.08] | That thing at the end where the kid... |
| [13:25.92] | ... kills himself because he can' t be in the play? |
| [13:30.12] | It' s like," Kid, wait a year. Leave home, do some community theater." |
| [13:37.13] | I thought," That' s two hours of my life that I' m never getting back." |
| [13:43.57] | That scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do. |
| [13:48.27] | Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire. |
| [13:59.45] | Oh, God. |
| [14:02.59] | We didn' t get into Scranton. |
| [14:06.92] | That was, like, our safety zoo. |
| [14:10.66] | They take, like, dogs and cows. |
| [14:16.17] | See, I don' t know who this is harder on, me or him. |
| [14:21.64] | I' d say that chair' s taking the brunt of it. |
| [14:26.94] | Marcel. Marcel. Marcel, no. |
| [14:31.68] | Good boy. See? How can nobody want him? |
| [14:35.79] | Somebody will. |
| [14:40.62] | You know, there already is a Joseph Stalin. |
| [14:48.53] | You' re kidding. |
| [14:51.10] | Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered people. |
| [14:57.17] | You' d think you would' ve known that. You' d think I would' ve. |
| [15:06.15] | Come on, I told you I don' t wanna go back to Joey. |
| [15:13.62] | What do you think a good stage name for me would be? |
| [15:19.53] | Flame Boy. |
| [15:28.51] | Where exactly is your zoo? |
| [15:30.44] | Well, it' s technically not a zoo, per se. |
| [15:33.34] | It' s more of an interactive wildlife experience. |
| [15:37.65] | Let me ask you some questions about Marcel. |
| [15:41.85] | Does he fight with other animals? No, no. He' s very docile. |
| [15:47.59] | Even if he were cornered? |
| [15:53.16] | Well, I don' t know. Why? |
| [15:55.77] | How is he at handling small objects? |
| [16:00.04] | He can hold a banana, if that' s what you mean. |
| [16:04.07] | What about a hammer or a small blade? |
| [16:10.45] | Why would he need a blade? |
| [16:13.52] | If he' s up against an animal with horns... |
| [16:16.59] | ... you got to give him something. |
| [16:19.12] | Otherwise, it' s just cruel. |
| [16:24.19] | He got into San Diego. What? |
| [16:27.73] | We came back from our walk. The phone was ringing.... |
| [16:31.40] | He' s in. |
| [16:32.64] | Did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego. |
| [16:38.18] | You' re making a mistake. San Diego' s good... |
| [16:41.38] | ... but I' ll start him off against a blind rabbit... |
| [16:45.08] | ... and give you 20 of the gate. |
| [17:08.31] | Where have you been? |
| [17:09.84] | Monica and I just crashed an embassy party. |
| [17:14.04] | I think I kissed an archbishop. |
| [17:18.38] | But, of course, it could' ve been a chef. |
| [17:23.05] | Are you drunk? No. |
| [17:31.16] | I' m lying. I am so drunk. Oh, God. |
| [17:36.60] | You know what? You could' ve called. |
| [17:39.20] | I' ve been worried Monica. |
| [17:48.05] | Water rules. |
| [17:53.18] | Yes. Yes, it does. |
| [17:55.35] | The restaurant called. They wanna know if you' re showing up for work. |
| [17:59.89] | Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today. |
| [18:04.09] | You' re gonna lose your job. This is not you. |
| [18:08.17] | No, it is me. |
| [18:13.54] | ... and pays the bills right away. |
| [18:23.71] | I' m Monana. |
| [18:31.72] | Hello? Yes, she is. Hold on a second please. |
| [18:36.33] | Monana, it' s for you. The credit card people. |
| [18:41.77] | Hello. |
| [18:45.37] | Yes? |
| [18:48.04] | Oh, my God. |
| [18:50.91] | Thanks. What? |
| [18:55.21] | They' ve arrested Monica. |
| [19:08.23] | Hi. Hi. |
| [19:10.63] | How are you? |
| [19:12.46] | Not too bad. Fortunately, blue' s my color. |
| [19:16.47] | How did you know I was here? |
| [19:19.84] | Because I' m Monica Geller. |
| [19:25.11] | It was my credit card you were using. |
| [19:28.01] | That I was not expecting. |
| [19:30.48] | I want you to know, I didn' t turn you in. |
| [19:35.22] | Thanks. No, thank you. |
| [19:38.26] | You have given me so much. |
| [19:40.69] | I' d never have gotten to sing... |
| [19:43.13] | ... " Memories" at the Winter Garden Theater. |
| [19:46.00] | Actually, you only got to sing " Memo" |
| [19:50.50] | I can' t believe you' re here. What will I do without you? |
| [19:54.64] | Who' s gonna crash parties with me? |
| [19:57.31] | Who' s gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus? |
| [20:00.34] | I started my day by peeing in front of 25 other women... |
| [20:04.75] | ... and you' re worried about who' ll take you to the circus? |
| [20:10.25] | Well, not worried, you know, just wondering. |
| [20:14.12] | There' s nothing to wonder about. |
| [20:16.83] | You' ll go back to being who you were. That' s who you are. |
| [20:21.10] | Not necessarily. Yes, necessarily. |
| [20:23.70] | I don' t know what it is. Maybe it' s the Amish thing. |
| [20:30.71] | I' m not actually Amish. Really? Then why are you like that? |
| [20:51.70] | You, by the door, in or out? ln. |
| [21:01.81] | You' re getting it all wrong. But at least I' m doing it. |
| [21:20.66] | This is the final boarding call for Flight 67... |
| [21:24.73] | ... to San Diego at gate 42A. |
| [21:27.16] | Okay, goodbye, little monkey guy. All right, I wrote you this poem. |
| [21:33.07] | Okay, but don' t eat it till you get on the plane. |
| [21:36.41] | Thank you, Aunt Phoebe. |
| [21:42.38] | Okay, bye, champ. |
| [21:44.88] | There' ll be a lot of babes in San Diego... |
| [21:48.00] | ... but remember, there' s also a lot to learn. |
| [21:57.36] | I don' t know what to say, Ross. It' s a monkey. |
| [22:01.06] | Just say what you feel, Joey. |
| [22:05.54] | Marcel, I' m hungry. That was good. |
| [22:12.31] | Marcel, this is for you. |
| [22:15.01] | It' s just, you know, something... |
| [22:19.68] | ... to do on the plane. |
| [22:24.12] | If you don' t mind, I' d like a moment alone. |
| [22:27.59] | Oh, sure. Absolutely. Go ahead. |
| [22:35.53] | Marcel, come here. Come here. Come here. |
| [22:40.24] | Well, buddy... |
| [22:43.94] | ... this is it. |
| [22:45.81] | Just a couple of things I wanted to say. |
| [22:50.11] | I' m really gonna miss you. |
| [22:53.05] | You know, I' m never gonna forget about you. |
| [22:56.09] | You' ve been more than just a pet to me. |
| [23:01.19] | You' ve been more like a Okay. Marcel. |
| [23:05.50] | Would you leave my leg alone? |
| [23:08.03] | Would you stop humping me for two seconds? |
| [23:11.34] | Okay, would you just take him away? Just take him. |
| [23:37.56] | Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand... |
| [23:41.53] | ... that I might touch thy cheek. |
| [23:45.17] | That' s fine. Thank you. Next. |
| [23:53.74] | I' ll be reading for the role of Mercutio. |
| [23:56.65] | Name? Holden McGroin. |
| [00:01.-1] | 妈妈,能不能就那么一次,我们一起吃饭时 |
| [00:03.88] | 你不要谈论我的衣着和我的工作 |
| [00:09.-4] | 包括我和谁约会 |
| [00:11.89] | 准备好买单了? -天哪,是的 |
| [00:14.09] | 我来吧. -不,亲爱的 |
| [00:16.13] | 我说了我来.这里,拿着,走,跑 |
| [00:22.43] | 真甜蜜啊 |
| [00:23.90] | 他们到底为什么给你工钱. -工作 |
| [00:27.67] | 你不用担心我.我做的很好 |
| [00:31.44] | 我想这张卡被禁用了 |
| [00:34.25] | 这不可能 |
| [00:36.01] | 好吧,亲爱的,用这张吧 |
| [00:41.65] | 六人行 第1季 第21集 假莫妮卡 |
| [01:29.93] | 怎么会有人知道你的信用卡号码? |
| [01:32.44] | 我也不知道,你看他们花了多少钱 |
| [01:35.01] | 你只须付你所买的东西 |
| [01:39.-1] | 我知道,他真是挥霍无度 |
| [01:41.91] | 我想他偷去你的信用卡时 |
| [01:44.08] | 根本就已忘了王法 |
| [01:49.02] | 真是个变态,花了69.95元买“神奇拖把” |
| [01:55.49] | 我买的 |
| [01:59.83] | 你看,我说变态,我的意思是 |
| [02:03.07] | 怎么回事,你花了70块买一把拖把,你是个变态 |
| [02:08.04] | 哦,讨厌.罗斯,他又这么干了 |
| [02:12.31] | 马修,别再侵犯那盏灯了 |
| [02:14.61] | 停止侵犯.现在,马修,过来,马修 |
| [02:18.48] | 不,又到我房里了,我去抓它出来 |
| [02:21.49] | 罗斯,你得想办法阻止 |
| [02:24.19] | 什么?这只是个阶段 |
| [02:26.69] | 我们当时也是这么说乔伊的 |
| [02:31.10] | 你们能多给点理解吗? |
| [02:34.33] | 我明白.可是我们不能 |
| [02:36.73] | 你们冷静点行吗?这又没什么了不起 |
| [02:40.04] | 马修,停,坏猴子 -又怎么了? |
| [02:44.31] | 我只能说,我的好奇乔治玩偶不再好奇 |
| [02:56.19] | 摩妮卡,你还是无法释怀 |
| [02:59.26] | 这女人过着我的生活 -什么? |
| [03:02.66] | 她过着我的生活,而且过得比我好 |
| [03:06.76] | 看,她买的戏票是我一直想看的戏 |
| [03:11.70] | 她买的衣服是我早就想买的 |
| [03:15.47] | 她花了三百块买艺术用品 -你又不是艺术家 |
| [03:19.48] | 如果有艺术用品,我或许已是个艺术家 |
| [03:23.45] | 我本来可以的,只是现在不是 |
| [03:28.05] | 摩妮卡,别泄气,你做的工作很酷 |
| [03:30.72] | 真的?我们来做比较,好吗? |
| [03:33.22] | 现在说“好吗”有点太迟了 |
| [03:37.23] | 我到过公园骑马吗? |
| [03:39.63] | 我在新学校上过课吗? -没有 |
| [03:44.44] | 她拥有我想要的一切,而且她没有我妈 |
| [03:57.65] | 乔依帕波尼如何? -不好,太有种族意味了 |
| [04:02.00] | 我的经纪人认为,我该取个中立一点的名字 -乔伊瑞士? |
| [04:11.33] | 而且,我应该就是乔, 乔伊让我感觉…这么大 |
| [04:17.24] | 可我不是 |
| [04:20.94] | 乔…乔斯大林? |
| [04:26.08] | 斯大林 |
| [04:28.51] | 我认识这名字吗?听得很熟悉 |
| [04:31.28] | 我没印象 |
| [04:34.92] | 但是你是深深陷在表演事业之中了啊 |
| [04:38.72] | 乔斯大林 |
| [04:44.06] | 这名字很好 |
| [04:46.56] | 或许你想试试乔瑟夫 |
| [04:55.04] | 乔瑟夫斯大林 |
| [04:58.08] | 我好像记得这个名字 -是的 |
| [05:02.11] | 别了,鸟儿”乔瑟夫斯大林主演 |
| [05:05.-1] | 屋顶上的提琴手”中的乔瑟夫斯大林 |
| [05:21.67] | 对,我是摩妮卡盖勒 |
| [05:24.47] | 我想有在你们那里上课,我想知道是哪些课 |
| [05:30.11] | 我最近头部受伤,只记得一些数字了 |
| [05:34.35] | 野外烤肉.哦,我应该去吗?好的 |
| [05:41.19] | 你在干什么? -太好了,谢谢 |
| [05:44.46] | 太棒了,非常感谢,我要去上踢踏舞课 |
| [05:48.59] | 和偷你信用卡的人一起跳踢踏? |
| [05:51.93] | 这样你就可以知道她长什么样子 |
| [05:53.90] | 我可以肯定她的照片就挂在邮局里面 |
| [05:56.77] | 我应该去看看她是何方神圣 |
| [05:59.50] | 摩妮卡,你有点失去理智了, 你被这件事所完全操控 |
| [06:04.68] | 我跟你说,这叫做疯狂 |
| [06:07.08] | 上帝保佑,摩妮卡别这么做 |
| [06:12.82] | 谢谢 |
| [06:22.00] | 你们怎么认为? -很多 |
| [06:26.76] | 你认为是哪一个? -我能帮你们什么吗? |
| [06:29.30] | 谢谢,我们是来参观的 |
| [06:32.34] | 舞蹈课不是参观来的,舞蹈课来跳舞的 |
| [06:36.44] | 那儿有舞鞋 |
| [06:41.05] | 什么意思? |
| [06:42.48] | 我想她是叫我们进去跳 |
| [06:46.42] | 来吧,来吧,来吧 -真的? |
| [06:50.42] | 有看见我的分身吗? |
| [06:53.26] | 各位,上回有人在教室留下酸乳空瓶 |
| [06:58.16] | 希望别再发生那种事 -她可能是你 |
| [07:07.21] | 开始吧 |
| [07:09.17] | 五,六,五,六,七,八 |
| [07:17.68] | 我跟不上 -我完全融人 |
| [07:27.00] | 你不会觉得,自己有时毫无协调感吗? |
| [07:38.64] | 怎么了?只要他们踢的时候你踢就是了 |
| [07:42.61] | 各位找个舞伴 |
| [07:46.94] | 我死去的妈说就是你,我和瑞秋 |
| [07:52.45] | 这下可好,体育课的旧事又重演了 |
| [07:57.29] | 无所谓,你过来和我一起跳 |
| [08:01.93] | 我何不脱下衣服来场恶梦? |
| [08:10.67] | 没关系,我来了抱歉,我迟到 |
| [08:15.47] | 来了,那个紧张的新人是谁? |
| [08:19.91] | 你的舞伴 -我叫摩妮卡 |
| [08:24.88] | 摩妮卡 |
| [08:28.72] | 我叫摩… |
| [08:30.46] | 娜娜 -摩娜娜 |
| [08:34.79] | 是荷兰人的名字 -你在开玩笑吧 |
| [08:36.93] | 我在阿姆斯特丹住了三年 |
| [08:43.10] | 我是宾夕法尼亚州的荷兰人 |
| [08:46.64] | 开始吧.五,六,七,八 |
| [08:58.08] | 嗨 |
| [09:01.39] | 你上哪儿去了 -我刚从兽医回来 |
| [09:06.42] | 她没叫你戴那种塑胶套吧? |
| [09:13.10] | 她说马修乱性不是暂时的 |
| [09:16.37] | 显然它已性成熟 |
| [09:20.47] | 嘿,它超过你呢 |
| [09:26.28] | 她说它会越来越暴力,侵略性越来越强 |
| [09:31.75] | 这代表什么? |
| [09:35.35] | 我们不能再养它了 |
| [09:51.50] | 我真不敢相信,这真是太扯了 |
| [09:54.64] | 我不懂,你才刚养它,它怎会突然成熟了? |
| [09:58.34] | 我知道,之前它只是个小东西 |
| [10:01.68] | 不知不觉中它就紧抓住我的腿不放的小东西 |
| [10:08.75] | 你没有任何办法再饲养它吗? |
| [10:11.39] | 没办法,兽医说除非有个地方… |
| [10:14.53] | 让它获得正常的… |
| [10:17.76] | 猴爱 |
| [10:20.93] | 否则它会变得愈来愈残暴 |
| [10:23.30] | 我得将它送到动物园 |
| [10:27.87] | 你如何把它送进动物园? -我知道 |
| [10:35.11] | 不,那是教皇进入大众汽车 |
| [10:39.78] | 我们到处申请, 当然大型州立动物园是优先考虑 |
| [10:44.86] | 比方说圣地牙哥动物园 |
| [10:49.59] | 那可能只是遥不可及的梦想,因为它在加州 |
| [10:55.90] | 兽医说她认识迈阿密的朋友,或许有可能 |
| [11:00.47] | 那儿似乎离海滩只有两条街, 一定是个疯狂动物园 |
| [11:10.58] | 我们找到她了 |
| [11:12.42] | 你们喊警察了吗? -没有,我们和她吃午餐 |
| [11:15.55] | 你们自己的“自治正义” |
| [11:19.56] | 你疯了?那女人偷了你的东西 |
| [11:22.93] | 她偷东西,她是个小偷 |
| [11:26.33] | 和这女人相处十分钟后, 你就会把这些全忘了 |
| [11:31.34] | 她简直是奇女子,振奋人心 |
| [11:36.27] | 她可能是从某位啦啦队队员那儿偷来的 |
| [11:41.85] | 脱下他们的帽子 -大众车上的教皇 |
| [11:47.59] | 我喜欢这个笑话 |
| [11:53.06] | 不可能,你不可能这么做 -摩娜娜相当勇敢 |
| [11:58.63] | 我说我们是615房的冈氏姐妹 |
| [12:02.90] | 结果波士顿塞尔提克已包下整个六楼 |
| [12:07.24] | 他们知道我们又矮又有胸部时 |
| [12:11.38] | 他们就把我们轰出来,我被轰出饭店,我 |
| [12:15.78] | 干得好,摩娜娜 |
| [12:19.22] | 不是只有你们活在梦中 |
| [12:23.09] | 我得去为我不认识的人倒咖啡,不用等我了 |
| [12:30.06] | 对了 |
| [12:31.56] | 明天我们要去参加百老汇的试演 |
| [12:36.27] | 什么? -“猫”剧还有一个缺额 |
| [12:39.34] | 我想我们可以去唱“回忆” |
| [12:42.31] | 让自己当个傻子,如何? |
| [12:46.81] | 不,记得你身旁的人是谁 |
| [12:51.32] | 我和你不一样 我连站在踢踏舞教室前都有困难 |
| [12:54.75] | 因为你有阿米许的血统 |
| [12:59.22] | 什么? -你不是宾州荷兰人吗? |
| [13:02.16] | 对,直到我买了吹风机被逐出村里 |
| [13:08.63] | 我过去也和你一样 有一天我看了出改变我人生的电影 |
| [13:14.77] | 看过春风化雨吗? |
| [13:17.48] | 我认为这电影实在是太…无聊了 |
| [13:23.08] | 那孩子在电影的结局时… |
| [13:25.92] | 自杀了.只因他无法演出话剧? |
| [13:30.12] | 这是在干什么? 他再等一年离家,到社区话剧团去 |
| [13:37.13] | 走出电影院时我想, 我这逝去两小时的生命,永远不再回 |
| [13:43.57] | 这想法震惊了我,从此我便及时行乐 |
| [13:48.27] | 那么我不敢推荐“窈窕奶爸”了 |
| [13:59.45] | 上帝 |
| [14:02.59] | 我们进不了斯克兰顿了 |
| [14:06.92] | 那是我们保底的动物园 |
| [14:10.66] | 他们连狗和牛都收 |
| [14:16.17] | 我不懂是我还是它比较难受 |
| [14:21.64] | 我想应该椅子最可怜 |
| [14:26.94] | 马修,马修,马修…不 |
| [14:31.68] | 乖,为何没人要它? |
| [14:35.79] | 一定有人会要的 |
| [14:40.62] | 早就有人叫乔瑟夫斯大林了 |
| [14:48.53] | 开什么玩笑 |
| [14:51.10] | 显然他是屠杀各种民族的俄国独裁者 |
| [14:57.17] | 你怎么会不知道. -你怎么认为我知道 |
| [15:02.-4] | 嗨,乔伊.汉密尔顿 |
| [15:06.15] | 拜托,我告诉过你不要用回乔伊 |
| [15:13.62] | 你认为我该取什么艺名? |
| [15:19.53] | 火焰男孩 |
| [15:28.51] | 你的动物园在哪儿? |
| [15:30.44] | 就技术上而言不算是动物园 |
| [15:33.34] | 而是一种互动式野生动物体验 |
| [15:37.65] | 我想请教你几个关于马修的问题 |
| [15:41.85] | 它会和其他动物打架吗? -不会的,它非常温驯 |
| [15:47.59] | 如果被逼进角落里去时呢? |
| [15:53.16] | 我不知道,干嘛问? |
| [15:55.77] | 它掌控小东西的能力为何? |
| [16:00.04] | 它会拿香蕉,如果你是这意思的话 |
| [16:04.07] | 铁槌或小刀呢? |
| [16:10.45] | 为什么?为何要小刀? |
| [16:13.52] | 面对狮虎或有角的动物 |
| [16:16.59] | 你得拿些东西给它自我防卫 |
| [16:19.12] | 否则就太残忍了 |
| [16:24.19] | 它能去圣地牙哥了 -什么? |
| [16:27.73] | 我们散步回来声见电话铃响 |
| [16:31.40] | 然后它就录取了 |
| [16:32.64] | 听见没,马修,是圣地牙哥 |
| [16:38.18] | 你大错特错了,圣地牙哥环境良好没错 |
| [16:41.38] | 如果你把它交给我 我就能训练它对抗瞎眼的兔子 |
| [16:45.08] | 而且我还可以给你百分之二十的门票收入 |
| [17:08.31] | 你到底跑哪儿去了? |
| [17:09.84] | 我和摩妮卡刚跑去参加大使馆舞会 |
| [17:14.04] | 我想我吻了大主教 |
| [17:18.38] | 当然,他们有自己的厨师 |
| [17:23.05] | 你喝醉了? -才没有呢 |
| [17:31.16] | 骗你的,我醉醺醺的 -天哪 |
| [17:36.60] | 摩妮卡,你该打通电话回来的 |
| [17:39.20] | 我一直在家里担心你 |
| [17:48.05] | 好过瘾 |
| [17:53.18] | 没错 |
| [17:55.35] | 餐厅今天又来电了, 他们想知道你还要不要去上班 |
| [17:59.89] | 不去.我今天要去大苹果马戏团 |
| [18:04.09] | 你快丢掉工作了,你变了 |
| [18:08.17] | 不,这正是我 |
| [18:10.-2] | 我不只是那种必须拍松枕头 |
| [18:13.54] | 帐单一来立刻去缴款的人 |
| [18:16.-2] | 和她在一起,我就超越了那种人 |
| [18:23.71] | 我是摩娜娜 |
| [18:31.72] | 对,她在,等等 |
| [18:36.33] | 摩娜娜,你的电话,信用卡公司打来的 |
| [18:41.77] | 你好 |
| [18:45.37] | 是吗? |
| [18:48.04] | 天那 |
| [18:50.91] | 谢谢. -怎么啦? |
| [18:55.21] | 他们已逮到摩妮卡 |
| [19:08.23] | 嗨.-嗨 |
| [19:10.63] | 你好吗? |
| [19:12.46] | 不太糟,幸好我喜欢蓝色 |
| [19:16.47] | 你怎会知道我在这儿? |
| [19:19.84] | 因为我是摩妮卡盖勒 |
| [19:25.11] | 你用的是我的信用卡 |
| [19:28.01] | 真是没想到 |
| [19:30.48] | 我想让你知道,去报案的人不是我 |
| [19:35.22] | 谢谢你 -不,我要谢谢你 |
| [19:38.26] | 你带给我太多了 |
| [19:40.69] | 如果不是你,我就不可能… |
| [19:43.13] | 在冬园剧场唱“回忆” |
| [19:46.00] | 老实说你只开口唱了“回”而已 |
| [19:50.50] | 我不敢相信你会在这儿 失去你我该怎么办? |
| [19:54.64] | 谁会和我去大使馆宴会 |
| [19:57.31] | 谁带我去大苹果马戏团? |
| [20:00.34] | 我在25个女人面前尿尿展开一天的生活 |
| [20:04.75] | 你却担心没人带你去看马戏? |
| [20:10.25] | 不是担心,只是怀疑 |
| [20:14.12] | 没什么好怀疑的 |
| [20:16.83] | 你继续做你自己,因为那才是真正的你 |
| [20:21.10] | 那没必要呀 -那很必要 |
| [20:23.70] | 我不知道是为什么 或许和你是阿米许人有关 |
| [20:30.71] | 我不是阿米许人 -真的?为何你那么怪? |
| [20:51.70] | 门旁的那个,加不加入? -加人 |
| [21:01.81] | 后面的,你完全跳错了 -至少我在跳 |
| [21:20.66] | 这是飞往圣地牙哥67次航班的 |
| [21:24.73] | 最后一次登机通知 |
| [21:27.16] | 再见,猴子小伙.好的,我会给你写诗的 |
| [21:33.07] | 上飞机后才能吃 |
| [21:36.41] | 谢谢你,菲比阿姨 |
| [21:42.38] | 再见了 |
| [21:44.88] | 我知道圣地牙哥那儿,你将有许多漂亮美眉 |
| [21:48.00] | 记得要学习的也很多 |
| [21:57.36] | 我不知该说什么,罗斯,它是一只猴子 |
| [22:01.06] | 说出你的感觉就成了 |
| [22:05.54] | 马修,我饿了 -这句不错 |
| [22:12.31] | 马修,这是给你的 |
| [22:15.01] | 给你,你知道的 |
| [22:19.68] | 在飞机上玩的 |
| [22:24.12] | 如果不介意我想和它独处 |
| [22:27.59] | 当然可以. -继续 |
| [22:35.53] | 马修,过来,过来,过来 |
| [22:40.24] | 小兄弟 |
| [22:43.94] | 就这样了 |
| [22:45.81] | 我只想说几句话 |
| [22:50.11] | 我会想你的 |
| [22:53.05] | 我不会忘记你的 |
| [22:56.09] | 在我心中你不只是一只宠物 |
| [23:01.19] | 你更是…马修 |
| [23:05.50] | 能放开我的腿吗? |
| [23:08.03] | 能暂时不要乱来吗? |
| [23:11.34] | 马修…带它走好吗?带它走 |
| [23:37.56] | 希望我是你手上的手套 |
| [23:41.53] | 这样我就能抚摸你的脸颊 |
| [23:45.17] | 行,谢谢. -下一位 |
| [23:53.74] | 我来试演“马丘修”角色的 |
| [23:56.65] | 名字? -麦克葛罗尼 |
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