| [00:20.-2] |
Do we have to know about that? |
| [01:02.-2] |
-Where have you been? -We stopped at the gift shop. - |
| [01:19.-3] |
The One With the Birth |
| [02:19.-1] |
I understand you're thinking of having a baby. |
| [02:30.-3] |
Each one's like a little party in my uterus. |
| [05:40.-1] |
Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack. |
| [08:36.-3] |
-She started it. -He did. |
| [10:16.-3] |
Are they here yet? |
| [10:47.-3] |
If you find anyone, or parts of anyone... |
| [11:19.-3] |
Push him out,push him out. Harder,harder. |
| [22:13.-1] |
Nothing. I don't think that's his name. |
| [00:06.92] |
She's having my baby, and she's not here yet. |
| [00:10.36] |
-Has her water broken yet? -I don't know. - |
| [00:13.46] |
When we talked,she said she'd already passed the mucous plug. |
| [00:22.63] |
What'll you do when you have a baby? |
| [00:25.20] |
I'll be in the waiting room, handing out cigars. |
| [00:28.87] |
Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s. |
| [00:34.78] |
She could be giving birth in the cab. |
| [00:38.08] |
Relax. It's only $2 for the first contraction... |
| [00:41.72] |
...and then 50 cents for each additional contraction. |
| [00:46.09] |
What,it's okay when Chandler does it? |
| [00:49.66] |
You have to pick your moments. |
| [00:52.83] |
Did I miss it? |
| [00:54.37] |
-She's not here yet. -What's with the guitar? - |
| [00:57.44] |
We might be here for a while. Things might get musical. |
| [01:05.78] |
I got this, and Susan wanted a Chunky. |
| [01:08.25] |
You're having a baby. You don't stop for Chunkies. |
| [01:12.72] |
I used to have that bumper sticker. |
| [01:16.19] |
You see what I mean? |
| [02:05.44] |
-"Stopped for a Chunky." -Let it go,Ross. - |
| [02:09.04] |
I got an extra one. You want this? |
| [02:15.08] |
-How's my favorite parenting team? -Dr. Franzblau. - |
| [02:22.15] |
I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. |
| [02:26.76] |
-How are your contractions? -I love them. - |
| [02:33.60] |
-Every 4 minutes,lasting 55 seconds. -59 seconds. Quartz. |
| [02:38.87] |
Swiss quartz. |
| [02:42.37] |
-Am I allowed to drink anything? -lce chips. - |
| [02:45.58] |
-At the nurse's station. -I'll get it! - |
| [02:48.31] |
-No,I'll get it. -No,I'm getting it. |
| [02:52.32] |
Hi. Thought you might like some ice chips. |
| [02:56.29] |
-Thanks. -And if you need anything else l... |
| [02:59.69] |
...do not believe we've met. |
| [03:03.13] |
I'm Rachel Greene. |
| [03:04.80] |
I'm Carol's ex-husband's sister's roommate. |
| [03:08.53] |
Nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau. |
| [03:11.20] |
I'm your roommate's brother's ex-wife's obstetrician. |
| [03:16.54] |
Oh,that's funny. |
| [03:24.88] |
I want a baby. |
| [03:27.25] |
Not tonight,honey. I got an early day tomorrow. |
| [03:30.89] |
-Get up. Let's get some coffee. -Okay,because we never do that. - |
| [03:36.90] |
Shoot,shoot,shoot. Or just fall down. That's good too. |
| [03:42.17] |
Knick fan? |
| [03:43.54] |
-Oh,boy,do they suck. -Listen,lady - |
| [03:49.37] |
Look. Look at your man,Ewing. |
| [03:51.91] |
He couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat. |
| [03:55.61] |
-And who do you like? -Celtics. - |
| [03:58.28] |
Celtics? They couldn't hit a boat if |
| [04:01.75] |
Wait.... |
| [04:04.59] |
They suck,all right? |
| [04:07.03] |
Shut up. It's a rebuilding year |
| [04:11.23] |
Let me get the father. We need a father over here. |
| [04:15.13] |
There's no father. |
| [04:18.74] |
-Oh,sorry. -That's okay. I'm fine. - |
| [04:24.54] |
Okay. Right this way. |
| [04:26.54] |
All the other pregnant women seem to be going in here. |
| [04:36.49] |
They're tiny and chubby And so sweet to touch |
| [04:40.33] |
But soon they'll grow up And resent you so much |
| [04:45.93] |
Now they're yelling at you And you don 't know why |
| [04:50.17] |
And you cry and you cry And you cry |
| [04:54.31] |
And you cry and you cry And you cry |
| [04:57.68] |
-Thanks,Ross. -I'm paying you to stop. - |
| [05:03.31] |
Oh,look,twins. Hi,guys. Oh,cute. |
| [05:08.52] |
No fair. |
| [05:09.85] |
I don't even have one. How come they get two? |
| [05:12.82] |
-You'll get one. -When? - |
| [05:15.69] |
Tell you what. When we're 40, if neither of us are married... |
| [05:20.83] |
...what do you say we have one? |
| [05:22.93] |
Why won't I be married when I'm 40? |
| [05:26.20] |
I just meant hypothetically. |
| [05:28.31] |
Hypothetically,why won't I be married when I'm 40? |
| [05:32.88] |
What is it? Is there something unmarriable about me? |
| [05:38.22] |
Well? |
| [05:47.56] |
Look at you,dressy-dress. |
| [05:50.23] |
Did you go home and change? |
| [05:52.10] |
It's an important day. I want to look nice. |
| [05:56.17] |
Has Dr. Franzblau been by? |
| [05:59.77] |
I haven't seen him. |
| [06:01.21] |
Where is he? He is supposed to be here. |
| [06:06.34] |
What if the baby needs him? |
| [06:08.51] |
What's the deal with you and doctors? Is your father a doctor? |
| [06:13.12] |
Yeah. Why? |
| [06:15.69] |
No reason. |
| [06:18.86] |
Mom,we've been through this. |
| [06:21.29] |
No,I am not calling him. |
| [06:24.13] |
I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. |
| [06:27.47] |
No,I am not alone. Joey's here. |
| [06:32.04] |
What do you mean "Joey who"? |
| [06:34.04] |
Joey who? |
| [06:35.47] |
-Tribbiani. -Joey Tribbiani. - |
| [06:39.58] |
Yes. Okay. Hold on. |
| [06:43.82] |
She wants to talk to you. |
| [06:46.45] |
Take the phone. |
| [06:49.22] |
Yeah,it's me. |
| [06:52.39] |
No,we're just friends. |
| [06:55.29] |
Yeah,I'm single. |
| [06:57.73] |
Twenty-five. 25 |
| [06:59.66] |
An actor. Hello? |
| [07:07.64] |
She's not much of a phone person. |
| [07:10.41] |
So,what's the deal with this father guy? |
| [07:14.31] |
If someone was having my baby, I'd wanna know about it. |
| [07:18.48] |
Hey,Knick fan,am I interested in your views on fatherhood? No. |
| [07:26.19] |
-Maybe I should just go. -Maybe you should. - |
| [07:29.53] |
Good luck... |
| [07:32.23] |
...and take care. |
| [07:40.47] |
The Celtics problem is that the players run the team. |
| [07:43.91] |
-That is so not true. -Oh,it is. - |
| [07:47.28] |
-Breathe. -Breathe. - |
| [07:49.88] |
You're gonna kill me. |
| [07:52.05] |
-Fifteen more seconds. 1 4,1 3,1 2 -Count faster. |
| [07:56.42] |
It'll be okay. IKeep focusing on Jordy. He'll be here soon. |
| [08:00.56] |
-Three. Two. Who the hell is Jordy? -Your son. -3,2,1. |
| [08:05.06] |
I don't have a son named Jordy. We all agreed on Jamie. |
| [08:09.30] |
Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend... |
| [08:12.60] |
...so we went back to Jordy. |
| [08:15.01] |
What do you mean,back to Jordy? We never landed on Jordy. |
| [08:19.34] |
We just passed by it during the whole Jesse-Cody-Dillon fiasco. |
| [08:24.52] |
Ow! Leg cramp! |
| [08:27.12] |
-I got it. -I got it. I'm doing it. - |
| [08:29.65] |
You get to sleep with her. I get the cramps. |
| [08:32.19] |
No,you don't. |
| [08:33.49] |
That is it. I want both of you out. |
| [08:37.66] |
I'm trying to get a person out of my body here... |
| [08:41.13] |
...and you're not making it any easier! Now go! |
| [08:47.21] |
-Thanks. -See what you did? - |
| [08:49.27] |
-Listen -Out! |
| [08:53.28] |
Breathe. Breathe. |
| [09:02.29] |
What is that? Something exploded. |
| [09:06.66] |
-That's not the baby,is it? -Her water broke. Calm down. - |
| [09:10.33] |
Water breaking? What do you mean? What's that? |
| [09:13.83] |
Breathe. Breathe. |
| [09:17.84] |
I'm okay. I'm okay. That's disgusting. I'm okay. |
| [09:23.57] |
-This is so your fault. -How is this my fault? - |
| [09:27.08] |
Carol never threw me out of a room before you. |
| [09:30.68] |
There's a lot of things Carol never did before me. |
| [09:34.89] |
-Are you trying to be clever? -You're so threatened by me. - |
| [09:39.42] |
Hey. Okay,all right. That's it. Get in here. |
| [09:43.73] |
My God,you guys. I don't believe you. |
| [09:47.40] |
There are children coming into the world here... |
| [09:50.74] |
...and your fighting isn't the first thing they should hear. |
| [09:54.44] |
So stop all the yelling! Just stop it! |
| [09:59.81] |
Don't make me do this again! I don't like my voice like this! |
| [10:08.65] |
Who wants to hear something ironic? |
| [10:18.26] |
Don't worry, we're gonna find them. |
| [10:20.80] |
And until we do, we are all here for you. Okay? |
| [10:25.77] |
You were telling me about Paris. It sounds wonderful. |
| [10:29.37] |
There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel |
| [10:34.18] |
There you go,dear. |
| [10:37.38] |
-You find them? -Not in the gift shop or cafeteria.... - |
| [10:41.22] |
Where are Phoebe and Joey? |
| [10:44.02] |
There's something sinister going on here. |
| [10:50.93] |
...scream. And scream again. |
| [10:58.00] |
-Help! -Come on! |
| [11:00.87] |
-I'm having a baby in there! -Hello! |
| [11:04.68] |
Okay,everyone stand back. |
| [11:10.55] |
Ow. |
| [11:12.75] |
All right,good thing we're in a hospital. |
| [11:16.72] |
Come on,Lydia,you can do it. |
| [11:22.33] |
Push him out,push him out. Way out. |
| [11:24.76] |
Let's get that ball and really move. |
| [11:27.83] |
Let's get |
| [11:31.04] |
I was just Yeah,okay. Push,push,push. |
| [11:37.71] |
What are you gonna do, suck the door open? |
| [11:42.85] |
Help! Help! |
| [11:46.48] |
And they found their bodies The very next day |
| [11:50.72] |
And they found their bodies The very next |
| [11:59.60] |
Mom,everything's going fine. |
| [12:01.93] |
Ross is great. |
| [12:04.37] |
He's in a whole other place. |
| [12:06.87] |
No,he's gone. |
| [12:09.07] |
No,you don't have to fly back. Really. |
| [12:12.51] |
What do you mean "This might be your only chance"? I'm only 26. |
| [12:17.28] |
I'm not even thinking about babies yet. |
| [12:33.06] |
-Where have you been? -I just had a baby. - |
| [12:37.77] |
Mazel tov. |
| [12:43.84] |
It could be one hour or three. |
| [12:46.01] |
But relax. She's doing great. |
| [12:48.45] |
So tell me,are you currently involved with anyone? |
| [12:53.92] |
Not at the moment,I'm not. Are you? |
| [12:57.59] |
No,it's hard enough to get women to go out with me. |
| [13:01.23] |
Right. Yeah,I've heard that about cute doctors. |
| [13:05.36] |
No,really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time,you know... |
| [13:11.27] |
...where I do. |
| [13:15.94] |
I try not to let work affect my personal life. |
| [13:19.18] |
But it's hard when,when you do what I do. It's,like.... |
| [13:24.05] |
Well,for instance, what do you do? |
| [13:26.68] |
I'm a waitress. |
| [13:29.32] |
Aren't there times when you come home at night and you're,like: |
| [13:34.29] |
"If I see one more cup of coffee...." |
| [13:43.07] |
Gotcha. |
| [13:45.17] |
-I'm gonna check up on your friend. -That's fine. - |
| [13:58.08] |
-How'd you know I was here? -Your mom called me. - |
| [14:02.00] |
So is this her? |
| [14:04.09] |
No,this is a loaner. |
| [14:08.09] |
Ours is at the shop. |
| [14:10.80] |
God,I hope she has my brains. |
| [14:15.07] |
I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself. |
| [14:18.50] |
I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse and a helper guy. |
| [14:25.14] |
-So did you see who won the game? -The Knicks by 10. They suck. - |
| [14:31.82] |
They're not so bad. |
| [14:57.24] |
Come on. Come on. |
| [14:59.24] |
-You're doing it too hard. -You have to do it hard or else - |
| [15:04.62] |
Damn it. Damn it. |
| [15:06.15] |
Damn it,damn it. This is all your fault. |
| [15:08.69] |
This should be the greatest day of my life. |
| [15:11.49] |
My son is being born, and I should be in there. |
| [15:14.19] |
Instead,I'm stuck in a closet with you. |
| [15:16.76] |
I have been waiting for this as much as you. |
| [15:20.16] |
No one's been waiting for this as much as I have. |
| [15:23.53] |
You know what's funny? |
| [15:25.10] |
You go home with the baby. Where does that leave me? |
| [15:28.84] |
You're his father. |
| [15:30.47] |
Who am l? There's Father's Day. There's Mother's Day. |
| [15:34.61] |
There's no Lesbian Lover Day. |
| [15:37.15] |
Every day is Lesbian Lover Day. |
| [15:42.45] |
This is so great. |
| [15:48.29] |
Do you wanna explain that? |
| [15:50.66] |
I mean,when I was growing up, my dad left... |
| [15:54.06] |
...and my mother died and my stepfather went to jail. |
| [15:58.07] |
I barely had enough pieces to make one whole parent. |
| [16:02.17] |
And here's this baby who has three whole parents... |
| [16:05.68] |
...who fight over who gets to love it the most... |
| [16:09.81] |
...and it's not even born yet. |
| [16:12.42] |
It's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. |
| [16:17.72] |
I'm sorry. You were fighting. |
| [16:21.93] |
Where are they? |
| [16:23.69] |
-They'll be here. -They wouldn't miss this. - |
| [16:26.76] |
Relax. You're only at 9 centimeters, and the baby's at zero station. |
| [16:35.14] |
You are really frightening me. |
| [16:39.14] |
Somebody wanna help me? Trying to rip out my heart. |
| [16:43.81] |
That's great. Anybody seen a nipple? |
| [16:48.65] |
Ten centimeters. Here we go. |
| [16:51.02] |
-Time to start pushing. -But they're not here yet. - |
| [16:54.49] |
-I can't tell the baby to wait. -Oh,God. - |
| [17:03.37] |
-Okay,got the vent open. -Hi,I'm Ben. - |
| [17:08.24] |
I'm hospital worker Ben. |
| [17:11.18] |
It's Ben to the rescue. |
| [17:15.71] |
Ben,you ready? Give me your foot. |
| [17:18.78] |
On three,Ben. One,two,three. |
| [17:23.25] |
Come on,Ben. That's it,Ben. |
| [17:27.36] |
What do you see? |
| [17:29.79] |
I see what appears to be a dark vent. |
| [17:33.13] |
Wait. |
| [17:34.57] |
Yes,it is,in fact,a dark vent. |
| [17:41.07] |
Pheebs,it's open. It's open. |
| [17:46.28] |
Wait. You forgot your legs. |
| [17:50.38] |
-Push. Push. -We're here. We're here. - |
| [17:54.89] |
Where have you been? |
| [17:57.45] |
Long story. |
| [17:58.76] |
I need you to keep pushing. I need Excuse me,can I have this? |
| [18:05.20] |
There's too many people here. There's about to be one more. |
| [18:09.57] |
So if you're not an ex-husband or lesbian life partner,out you go. |
| [18:16.01] |
-Bye-bye. -Good luck,you guys. |
| [18:18.44] |
Do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner? |
| [18:22.48] |
Out. |
| [18:26.18] |
Here he comes. |
| [18:27.52] |
Let me see. I've gotta see. |
| [18:34.79] |
A head. |
| [18:36.59] |
It's huge. How are you doing this? |
| [18:40.33] |
You're not helping. |
| [18:42.53] |
You're doing great. |
| [18:44.60] |
-Hello? -Oh,sorry. |
| [18:46.74] |
What do you see? What do you see? |
| [18:48.94] |
We got a head. We got arms. Oh,look at the little fingers. |
| [18:54.78] |
A chest and a stomach... |
| [18:56.81] |
...and it's a boy,definitely a boy. |
| [19:00.58] |
Legs,knees and feet. |
| [19:09.03] |
He's here. |
| [19:11.73] |
He's a person. |
| [19:14.23] |
-Look. -What does he look like? |
| [19:17.07] |
IKind of like my Uncle Ed, covered in Jell-O. |
| [19:21.27] |
Really? |
| [19:23.21] |
You guys,he's beautiful. |
| [19:25.71] |
Thanks,Pheebs. |
| [19:33.55] |
No shouting,but we still need a name for this little guy. |
| [19:39.06] |
-How about Ben? -I like Ben. - |
| [19:43.76] |
Ben. |
| [19:49.17] |
Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before? |
| [19:52.90] |
We just cooked it up. |
| [19:56.57] |
That's what we were off doing. |
| [20:01.75] |
-Can we come in? -Yeah,come on. - |
| [20:11.62] |
I know. I know. |
| [20:13.46] |
Everybody,there's someone I'd like you to meet. |
| [20:17.66] |
-This is Ben. -Hi,Ben. |
| [20:20.50] |
Ben,this is everybody. |
| [20:23.37] |
Susan,he looks just like you. |
| [20:28.71] |
Thanks. |
| [20:30.54] |
I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. |
| [20:34.11] |
I know. I still am one of these. |
| [20:40.55] |
Can l? |
| [20:43.69] |
Okay,the head. You gotta.... |
| [20:55.13] |
I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes,I am. |
| [20:58.14] |
I'm your Aunt Monica. |
| [21:05.81] |
I will always have gum. |
| [21:12.38] |
Ben... |
| [21:14.15] |
... I want you to know that there may be some times when... |
| [21:18.22] |
... I may not be around like this. |
| [21:24.70] |
But I'll still always come back... |
| [21:28.43] |
...Iike this. |
| [21:31.37] |
And sometimes, I may be away longer... |
| [21:35.41] |
...Iike this. |
| [21:40.54] |
But I'll still always come back... |
| [21:45.75] |
...Iike this. |
| [21:48.62] |
And sometimes,I'll want you to steal third and I'll go like this: |
| [22:02.40] |
He is so amazing. |
| [22:04.53] |
Yeah,I know. Look at him. |
| [22:17.45] |
Look,he's closing his eyes. |
| [22:20.78] |
Look,he's opening his eyes. |
| [22:25.79] |
He doesn't do much,does he? |
| [22:28.49] |
Nope,this is pretty much it. |
| [22:38.50] |
You guys wanna get some coffee? |
| [22:42.24] |
I'll see you guys later. |
| [23:16.87] |
He's closing his eyes again. |
