| [03:13.-2] |
I don't know. |
| [03:43.-2] |
You have a third nipple? |
| [06:42.-1] |
I see,I see. Because of the third-nipple thing. |
| [09:18.-2] |
I don't care if she tells you she wants it,she begs,she pleads... |
| [10:34.-1] |
-I'm gonna get changed. -Okay. |
| [11:58.-3] |
What is this in my pocket? |
| [16:59.-3] |
Who here does not have the time to get to know Julie? |
| [18:25.-1] |
...and my first-grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb. |
| [20:19.-3] |
I'm sorry. |
| [00:02.75] |
Mom,would you relax? |
| [00:05.12] |
That was 10 blocks from here, and she was walking alone at night. |
| [00:09.19] |
I would never do that. |
| [00:11.19] |
Mom,come on,stop worrying. |
| [00:13.86] |
This is a safe street. This is a safe building. There's nothing |
| [00:17.40] |
Oh,my God! What are you doing in here?! |
| [00:20.63] |
Mom,I gotta go! IT gotta go! |
| [00:25.74] |
Oh,my God! |
| [00:28.91] |
That's fine,you just read the paper. |
| [00:31.71] |
I'm gonna get a pot. |
| [00:34.08] |
It's not for you. |
| [00:41.25] |
Okay,that's fine. |
| [00:44.56] |
Read the Family Circus... |
| [00:48.29] |
...enjoy the gentle comedy.... |
| [00:54.90] |
Oh,my God,my God,my God,my God.... |
| [01:07.85] |
It's open,you guys. |
| [01:12.02] |
Can I help you? |
| [01:13.18] |
Does Phoebe still live here? |
| [01:15.49] |
No,she doesn't. But I can get a message to her. |
| [01:18.09] |
Great. Just tell her her husband stopped by. |
| [01:21.19] |
Her what? |
| [01:25.13] |
How did you do that? |
| [02:15.88] |
This is unbelievable,Pheebs. How can you be married? |
| [02:19.38] |
I'm not "married" married,you know? |
| [02:21.49] |
He's just a friend,and he's gay... |
| [02:23.32] |
...and he was from Canada, and he needed a Green Card. |
| [02:26.22] |
I can't believe you married Duncan! |
| [02:28.46] |
How could you not tell me? We told each other everything. |
| [02:32.40] |
I'm sorry,but I knew if I told you, you'd get judgmental... |
| [02:36.30] |
...and wouldn't approve. |
| [02:37.47] |
Of course I wouldn't approve! |
| [02:39.64] |
You were totally in love with this guy who,hello,was gay. |
| [02:42.94] |
What the hell were you thinking? |
| [02:44.94] |
See? And you thought she'd be judgmental. |
| [02:49.15] |
I wasn't in love with him. I was helping out a friend. |
| [02:52.52] |
When he left town,you stayed in your pajamas for a month. |
| [02:56.09] |
And I saw you eat a cheeseburger. |
| [03:01.66] |
Well,didn't you? |
| [03:03.83] |
I might have. |
| [03:06.33] |
I can't believe you didn't tell me. |
| [03:08.83] |
Like you tell me everything? |
| [03:10.50] |
What have I not told you? |
| [03:14.64] |
The fact that the underwear out on the telephone pole is yours... |
| [03:18.84] |
...from when you had sex with Bobby on the terrace! |
| [03:21.55] |
What? |
| [03:23.21] |
Wait a minute! Who told you? |
| [03:29.29] |
You are dead meat. |
| [03:31.46] |
I didn't know it was a big secret. |
| [03:34.26] |
Oh,it's not big. Not at all. |
| [03:36.46] |
IKind of the same as,say... |
| [03:38.30] |
... I don't know,having a third nipple! |
| [03:46.94] |
You bitch! |
| [03:51.94] |
Whip it out! Whip it out! |
| [03:54.28] |
There's nothing to see! It's a tiny bump. It's totally useless. |
| [03:58.42] |
As opposed to your other multi-functional nipples? |
| [04:03.12] |
I can't believe you! You told me it was a nubbin. |
| [04:08.49] |
Joey,what did you think a nubbin was? |
| [04:11.33] |
You see something,you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. |
| [04:15.50] |
-Let me see it again! -Yes,show us your nubbin! |
| [04:19.14] |
Joey was in a porno movie! |
| [04:24.48] |
If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me! |
| [04:28.51] |
-Oh,my God! -You were in a porno?! |
| [04:31.68] |
I was young and I just wanted a job. |
| [04:34.22] |
But I couldn't go through with it. |
| [04:36.52] |
They let me be the guy who fixes the copier but can't... |
| [04:39.66] |
...because there's people having sex on it. |
| [04:44.00] |
That is wild! |
| [04:46.66] |
-What's it shaped like? -ls it hairy? |
| [04:49.00] |
What happens if you flick it? |
| [04:58.48] |
So does it do anything, you know,special? |
| [05:02.41] |
Pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance... |
| [05:05.75] |
...to the magical land of Narnia. |
| [05:09.09] |
In some cultures,having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. |
| [05:13.89] |
You get the best huts, and women dance naked around you. |
| [05:17.60] |
Are any of these cultures, per chance,in the Tri-State area? |
| [05:22.03] |
You know,you are so amazing. Is there anything you don't know? |
| [05:28.17] |
Julie's so smart! Julie's so special! |
| [05:32.88] |
I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. |
| [05:36.18] |
But he's with her now. You'll have to get over it. |
| [05:39.88] |
Oh,I'm going to have to get over it. |
| [05:42.85] |
I didn't know that's what I had to do. I just have to get over it. |
| [05:51.43] |
-Sassy lady! -Where are you going? |
| [05:53.93] |
I'm meeting Duncan. He's skating tonight at the Garden. |
| [05:57.37] |
He's in the Capades. |
| [06:00.71] |
-The lce Capades? -No,the Gravel Capades. |
| [06:05.24] |
The turns aren't as fast, but when Snoopy falls? Funny. |
| [06:09.91] |
I can't believe you'd dress up for him. |
| [06:11.82] |
You're setting yourself up all over again. |
| [06:14.45] |
Okay,no. |
| [06:17.22] |
For your information,I'm seeing him so I can put those feelings behind me. |
| [06:22.29] |
The reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice... |
| [06:26.00] |
...to look nice for your gay husband. |
| [06:30.34] |
Darn it,we're all out of milk. |
| [06:32.80] |
Chandler,will you fill me up here? |
| [06:53.49] |
Okay,sweetie,I'll see you later. |
| [06:56.69] |
-See you later,Rach. -Bye-bye,Julie. |
| [07:10.04] |
Come on,cut it out! |
| [07:16.31] |
-Can I ask you something? -Sure. |
| [07:20.55] |
What? |
| [07:22.85] |
Come on,talk to me. |
| [07:26.29] |
What's the longest you've been in a relationship before... |
| [07:32.56] |
... having the sex? |
| [07:36.67] |
Why? Who's not? Are you and Julie not? |
| [07:39.34] |
Are you and Julie not having sex? |
| [07:44.01] |
Technically? |
| [07:46.04] |
No. |
| [07:49.48] |
Is it because she's so cold in bed? |
| [07:53.65] |
Or because she's kind of bossy, makes it feel like school? |
| [07:58.59] |
No! She's great. And it's not like we haven't done anything. |
| [08:03.66] |
We do plenty of other stuff. Lots of other stuff like |
| [08:07.37] |
No! Don't need to know the details. |
| [08:11.94] |
No,it's just.... |
| [08:13.87] |
It's me. |
| [08:15.54] |
I've only been with one woman my whole life... |
| [08:18.84] |
...and she turned out to be a lesbian. |
| [08:22.41] |
So now I've got myself all psyched out. |
| [08:26.75] |
It's become,like,this... |
| [08:29.89] |
...this thing! |
| [08:33.93] |
You must just think I'm weird. |
| [08:36.39] |
No,I don't think it's weird. |
| [08:39.46] |
I think,in fact.... |
| [08:42.20] |
-ln fact,you know what I think? -What? |
| [08:45.40] |
I think it's sexy. |
| [08:48.71] |
Sexy? |
| [08:49.87] |
Let me tell you something. As a woman... |
| [08:52.24] |
...there is nothing sexier... |
| [08:55.55] |
...than a man who does not want to have sex. |
| [09:00.15] |
No kidding? |
| [09:01.39] |
You know what I'd do? |
| [09:03.05] |
I'd wait. |
| [09:06.29] |
-You'd wait? -Absolutely. I would wait... |
| [09:09.66] |
...and wait.... |
| [09:12.60] |
Then I'd wait some more. |
| [09:16.67] |
Really? |
| [09:22.24] |
...she tells you she's gonna have sex with another man |
| [09:26.24] |
That just means it's working. |
| [09:31.18] |
Women really want this? |
| [09:33.75] |
More than jewelry. |
| [09:58.21] |
Look at you! You look great! |
| [10:00.81] |
Do l? Thank you. |
| [10:03.31] |
So do you. Sparkly! |
| [10:11.19] |
This is pretty wonderful, Mr. Major Capades Guy! |
| [10:16.00] |
I remember when you were just King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice Is Nice. |
| [10:22.20] |
You always said I'd make it. |
| [10:24.17] |
Well,you know, I'm kind of spooky that way. |
| [10:29.04] |
Gosh,I missed you! |
| [10:38.92] |
Now. |
| [10:42.69] |
Oh! Right. Okay. |
| [10:45.56] |
Ole! |
| [10:47.06] |
What? |
| [10:49.59] |
The Matador.... |
| [10:55.17] |
Ole! |
| [11:01.61] |
Sweetie,can you hold this for a second? |
| [11:14.39] |
Sorry,you had a paleontologist on your face. |
| [11:18.06] |
But it's gone now. You're all right. |
| [11:20.46] |
Hi,everyone. |
| [11:25.10] |
I wanted to thank you for our little talk before. |
| [11:28.60] |
No problem! So you're gonna go with the waiting thing? |
| [11:32.37] |
I was going to,but after I talked to you,I talked to Joey. |
| [11:40.54] |
Good. What did he say? |
| [11:42.65] |
He told me to get over myself and just do it. |
| [11:46.12] |
I thought about what you said and about what he said. |
| [11:49.25] |
And his way,I get to have sex tonight,so.... |
| [12:01.00] |
Why,it's Joey's porno movie! |
| [12:05.84] |
Pop it in! |
| [12:07.84] |
I'm fine,if you're okay watching a video... |
| [12:10.41] |
...filled with two-nippled people. |
| [12:16.11] |
People having sex. That's just what I need to see. |
| [12:19.32] |
What's wrong with people having sex? |
| [12:24.19] |
Well,you know,these movies are offensive... |
| [12:29.00] |
...and degrading to women and females.... |
| [12:35.27] |
And the lighting's always unflattering. |
| [12:41.54] |
-Monica,help me out here. -Hell,I wanna see Joey! |
| [12:51.55] |
So is there a story? Or do they just start doing it right |
| [12:55.82] |
Oh. Never mind. |
| [12:58.00] |
Wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen. |
| [13:03.39] |
All I say is,she'd better get the job. |
| [13:06.03] |
Looks to me like he's the one getting the job. |
| [13:11.24] |
Here I come. |
| [13:12.80] |
See,I'm coming to fix the copier. |
| [13:14.87] |
I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking,"What do I do?" |
| [13:20.34] |
So I just watch them have sex. |
| [13:26.22] |
Then I say Here's my line! |
| [13:28.05] |
You know,that's bad for the paper tray. |
| [13:33.00] |
Nice work,my friend! |
| [13:34.69] |
Wait,you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me. |
| [13:39.93] |
There I am. There I am. There I am.... |
| [13:50.88] |
So what's up? You came to see me yesterday. |
| [13:59.88] |
I kind of need a divorce. |
| [14:02.45] |
O... |
| [14:04.09] |
... kay. |
| [14:05.86] |
How come? |
| [14:08.09] |
Actually,I'm getting married again. |
| [14:11.06] |
What? |
| [14:12.46] |
I don't know how to tell you this. |
| [14:16.87] |
I'm straight. |
| [14:22.47] |
I don't understand. How can you be straight? |
| [14:26.04] |
You're so smart and funny... |
| [14:28.65] |
...and you throw such great Academy Award parties! |
| [14:31.75] |
That's what I kept telling myself. |
| [14:34.39] |
But you reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore. |
| [14:39.16] |
How long have you known? |
| [14:43.06] |
I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. |
| [14:47.46] |
I thought I was supposed to be something else. |
| [14:49.80] |
I'm an ice dancer,all my friends are gay. I was just trying to fit in. |
| [14:57.74] |
And there's actually a woman? |
| [15:01.65] |
Her name's Debra. |
| [15:06.15] |
Well,is she the first that you've been with? |
| [15:10.82] |
I've never told you this... |
| [15:14.00] |
... but there were one or two times back in college when... |
| [15:18.46] |
... I'd get drunk, go to a straight bar... |
| [15:20.76] |
...and wake up with a woman next to me. |
| [15:24.00] |
I told myself it was the liquor, and everyone experiments in college. |
| [15:29.94] |
Sure. |
| [15:31.18] |
Now I know I don't have a choice. I was born this way! |
| [15:38.28] |
I don't know what to say. |
| [15:41.02] |
You're married to someone for six years and you think you know him. |
| [15:45.06] |
And then one day he says, "Oh,I'm not gay!" |
| [15:53.30] |
I'm still me. |
| [15:57.53] |
Why couldn't you just have figured this out six years ago? |
| [16:03.64] |
You know,it still smells like monkey in there. |
| [16:08.71] |
That saves us the conversation. |
| [16:12.75] |
This has been great, but I'm officially wiped. |
| [16:15.69] |
Me too. We should get going. |
| [16:18.19] |
No! Come on,you guys! |
| [16:22.19] |
Come on,it's only 1 1 :30. |
| [16:24.70] |
Let's just talk. We never just hang out and talk anymore. |
| [16:29.07] |
Rachel,that's all we do. |
| [16:33.20] |
Maybe that's all we do. What about Julie? |
| [16:37.21] |
What about Julie? |
| [16:39.21] |
You have been in our lives for nearly two months now... |
| [16:43.61] |
...and we don't really know you. |
| [16:45.75] |
I mean,who is Julie? |
| [16:48.79] |
What do you like? What don't you like? |
| [16:51.12] |
We want to know everything. |
| [16:53.69] |
Well,that could take awhile. |
| [16:56.19] |
So? |
| [17:02.63] |
I got the time to get to know Julie. |
| [17:07.24] |
I know her pretty well. Can I go? |
| [17:12.24] |
That's fine. |
| [17:13.71] |
Let's start with your childhood. What was that like? |
| [17:18.72] |
In a nutshell |
| [17:24.29] |
So,have you told your parents? |
| [17:27.46] |
No,but it'll be okay. They're pretty cool. |
| [17:30.66] |
My brother's straight,so.... |
| [17:34.57] |
Here you go. |
| [17:36.17] |
You know what? I just have one more question. |
| [17:39.14] |
If you had figured this out sooner, and I had been around... |
| [17:44.34] |
...do you think l would have been the one...? |
| [17:48.91] |
No. Don't tell me. |
| [17:50.35] |
I don't think either answer would make me feel better. Here. |
| [17:56.32] |
I love you,Phoebe. |
| [18:12.80] |
So your brother's straight,huh? |
| [18:16.77] |
Seriously. |
| [18:21.38] |
and my second-grade teacher was Miss Thomas... |
| [18:28.45] |
Mrs. Gobb? |
| [18:30.22] |
No,Cobb. Like cobb salad. |
| [18:36.03] |
What exactly is in a cobb salad? |
| [18:38.36] |
I'm going home. |
| [18:45.00] |
Boy,that Julie's a talker,huh? |
| [18:49.37] |
Good night. |
| [18:54.21] |
It's pretty late. You're probably not still planning on.... |
| [18:58.35] |
No,I am. |
| [19:00.88] |
Are you nervous? |
| [19:05.69] |
I have done it before. |
| [19:09.03] |
I mean,how are you gonna handle it? |
| [19:11.56] |
Are you gonna talk about it beforehand? Are you just gonna pounce? |
| [19:16.93] |
I don't know. I guess I'm just gonna... |
| [19:19.84] |
...see what happens. |
| [19:23.37] |
Good luck! |
| [19:27.74] |
What? |
| [19:29.28] |
Nothing.... |
| [19:31.75] |
It is your first time with her, and if the first time doesn't go well... |
| [19:37.12] |
...well then,that's pretty darn hard to recover from. |
| [19:43.03] |
Okay,now I'm nervous. |
| [19:47.60] |
Maybe you should put it off. |
| [19:49.87] |
No,I don't want to put it off! |
| [19:56.54] |
I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable. |
| [20:00.08] |
And now I'm actually happy. |
| [20:04.92] |
You know,I mean really happy. |
| [20:07.48] |
I just don't wanna.... |
| [20:09.79] |
I don't wanna mess it up,you know? |
| [20:14.66] |
I know. |
| [20:21.17] |
It's not your fault. |
| [20:23.17] |
Right. |
| [20:26.30] |
Maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. |
| [20:29.61] |
Maybe you were on the right track with that whole "spontaneous" thing. |
| [20:35.08] |
-Women really like that. -Really? |
| [20:40.92] |
I mean if it were me, I'd want you to.... |
| [20:44.86] |
I don't know,catch me off guard with a really... |
| [20:49.36] |
...good kiss. |
| [20:53.46] |
Really sort of soft at first. |
| [20:58.50] |
And then maybe brush the hair away from my face. |
| [21:03.94] |
And then look far into my eyes... |
| [21:08.31] |
...in a way that lets me know something... |
| [21:12.18] |
...amazing is about to happen. |
| [21:21.02] |
And then,I don't know,then... |
| [21:23.19] |
...you'd pull me really close to you so that... |
| [21:26.36] |
...so that I'd be pressed up right against you. |
| [21:32.34] |
And it would get kind of... |
| [21:36.24] |
...sweaty... |
| [21:40.21] |
...and blurry. |
| [21:44.58] |
And then it's just happening. |
| [21:54.00] |
Thanks,Rach. Good night! |
| [22:00.10] |
Oh,God! |
| [22:17.11] |
Good morning! |
| [22:19.68] |
Well,somebody got some last night! |
| [22:27.66] |
Twice! |
