| [00:19.90] | GUARD: Ah, excuse me, this is a... |
| [00:21.36] | Closed set. We know. But we're friends with the monkey, hmm? |
| [00:27.16] | Good morning. |
| [00:29.37] | Look who I brought! |
| [00:30.82] | Your old friend, Harry Elafonte! |
| [00:35.66] | Whoa, dude. Burn! |
| [00:39.43] | I don't get it. |
| [00:40.54] | He seemed so happy to see me yesterday. |
| [00:43.20] | Don't take it personal. He's under pressure, starring in a movie and all. |
| [00:49.10] | Oh. |
| [00:49.42] | How big of a star is Marcel? |
| [00:51.46] | In human terms? I'd say... |
| [00:54.32] | ...Cybill Shepherd. ROSS: Whoa. |
| [00:56.27] | RACHEL: Really? JOEY: Whoa. |
| [00:59.23] | So you guys in the movie or you just really paranoid? |
| [01:04.32] | - Hey, Sal? - Mm-hm? |
| [01:05.68] | Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready. |
| [01:08.39] | JOEY: Excuse me? |
| [01:09.53] | Jerry is the director? Which one's he? |
| [01:12.12] | - The one in the director's chair? JOEY: Gotcha. |
| [01:15.36] | Pheebs, walk with me. |
| [01:17.77] | Okay. |
| [01:19.40] | Um, why am I walking with you? |
| [01:21.39] | Well, uh, we're just going over here so that we can get away from... |
| [01:23.55] | ...the horrible flesh-eating virus! |
| [01:27.46] | For the love of God, woman, listen to me! |
| [01:30.33] | Is he looking? Is he looking? |
| [02:26.19] | SUSIE: We've got a problem. - Tell me. |
| [02:28.57] | I can't do Chris' makeup. |
| [02:30.07] | She refuses to acknowledge her mustache. |
| [02:32.77] | Is it bad? - It looks like her eyebrow fell down. |
| [02:36.27] | Unless we convince her to let me bleach it... |
| [02:38.91] | ...Jean-Claude Van Damme will be making out with Gabe Kaplan. |
| [02:42.58] | I'll talk to her. |
| [02:45.05] | I hate actors. |
| [02:47.85] | Nice camouflage. For a minute there, I almost didn't see you. |
| [02:54.79] | - Excuse me. Whoa. - Ah! |
| [02:58.04] | Uh, is your name Chandler? |
| [03:00.27] | Uh, yes, it is. |
| [03:02.07] | Chandler Bing. |
| [03:03.93] | Do you know me or are you just really good at this game? |
| [03:07.06] | I'm Susie Moss. |
| [03:08.61] | Fourth grade? Glasses? |
| [03:12.91] | I carried a box of animal crackers like a purse? |
| [03:14.66] | Susie Moss! |
| [03:16.48] | Right! Yeah! Wow! |
| [03:18.75] | You look... |
| [03:19.91] | Great job growing up. |
| [03:23.02] | It's nice to see you don't still wear the cap with the mirrors on it. |
| [03:26.70] | Oh, I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp. |
| [03:31.46] | Heh, heh. Remember the class play? |
| [03:33.55] | You pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants? |
| [03:39.55] | Yes. Back then, I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism. |
| [03:43.66] | Thank God I don't do that anymore. |
| [03:50.65] | - Oh, my God! - What? What?- |
| [03:53.24] | It's Jean-Claude Van Damme. |
| [03:55.02] | I didn't know he was in this movie. He is so hot! |
| [03:58.55] | You think? |
| [04:00.11] | The Muscles from Brussels? Wham-Bam-Van-Damme? |
| [04:03.08] | Did you see Timecop? |
| [04:04.81] | No. Was he any good in it? |
| [04:06.64] | Rachel, he totally changed time! |
| [04:09.87] | WoW |
| [04:11.27] | - So why don't you go talk to him? - Oh. Yeah.- |
| [04:14.53] | Go tell him he's cute. What's the worst that could happen? |
| [04:17.64] | He could hear me. |
| [04:19.23] | Oh. |
| [04:20.87] | I'm doing it for you. - Don't you dare! Don't! |
| [04:23.11] | Don't! |
| [04:24.82] | Tell him I cook! |
| [04:27.70] | RACHEL: Excuse me. |
| [04:29.25] | - Hi. Ha, ha. - Hi.- |
| [04:30.61] | Um, this is gonna sound kind of goofy. Ha, ha. |
| [04:33.44] | But, um, my friend over there... |
| [04:38.29] | ...who cooks, by the way... |
| [04:41.21] | Um, she thinks you're cute. Heh. |
| [04:43.01] | You don't think I'm cute? |
| [04:46.24] | I don't know. Um... |
| [04:48.56] | Do you think you're cute? |
| [04:52.53] | We're getting off the track. Um, I was supposed to tell you... |
| [04:56.21] | ...my friend thinks you're cute. |
| [04:58.90] | What should I tell her? |
| [05:00.82] | You can tell her I think her friend is cute. |
| [05:07.32] | - Oh. Ha, ha. - Huh? |
| [05:12.20] | Whoa. Ha, ha. |
| [05:13.26] | MAN: Makeup! - Oh, that's me. I gotta go. |
| [05:15.26] | Oh, uh... |
| [05:15.31] | Okay. |
| [05:17.10] | Um, how many times do I have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date? |
| [05:26.14] | Well, uh, let's try one more. |
| [05:29.98] | There you go. Ernie's, 8:00? |
| [05:32.35] | I'll be there. |
| [05:34.04] | And if things go well, maybe this time... |
| [05:36.74] | ...I'll get to see your underwear. |
| [05:44.64] | No one was around to hear that? |
| [05:52.18] | - So, what'd he say? - Ugh! |
| [05:53.89] | What a jerk! |
| [05:55.28] | I kept talking about you, and he kept asking me out. |
| [06:01.26] | Oh. |
| [06:01.83] | Naturally, you know, I said no. |
| [06:06.45] | Well... |
| [06:07.84] | Thanks, anyway. |
| [06:09.04] | He just kept asking... |
| [06:10.90] | ...and asking, asking, asking... |
| [06:14.07] | If you want to go out with him, you can. |
| [06:17.68] | Sounds like a jerk to me, but... |
| [06:19.70] | Jean-Claude, she said yes! I'll see you tonight! |
| [06:25.41] | Thank you. |
| [06:32.80] | Then Jean-Claude took me to Crossroads... |
| [06:36.30] | ...and we hung out with Drew Barrymore. |
| [06:39.47] | Oh, man. She's so smoking! |
| [06:41.21] | She's got the greatest set of... |
| [06:46.76] | No guys around, huh? |
| [06:50.28] | Anybody need anything? - Oh, I'll have an espresso. |
| [06:54.19] | Oh, I'll get it. |
| [06:56.04] | If I ask you to, you'll end up drinking it yourself. |
| [07:01.95] | That is so unfair. - I know. |
| [07:04.37] | Like you'd drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme? |
| [07:10.08] | I have to cancel racquetball tonight. |
| [07:16.21] | You're blowing me off for a monkey? |
| [07:18.16] | We can reschedule for Saturday. |
| [07:20.45] | Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons. |
| [07:24.47] | Hey. |
| [07:25.58] | Stick a fork in me... |
| [07:27.34] | ...I am done! |
| [07:30.75] | PHOEBE: Uh... |
| [07:31.04] | Stick a fork what? |
| [07:32.37] | Like when you're cooking a steak. |
| [07:33.71] | Oh, I don't eat meat. |
| [07:37.62] | How do you know vegetables are done? |
| [07:39.33] | Well, you don't. You eat them and you can tell. |
| [07:42.63] | Okay, then eat me, I'm done! |
| [07:44.74] | Mm. |
| [07:48.59] | I've met the perfect woman. - What? |
| [07:50.58] | We're sitting on her couch, fooling around... |
| [07:52.97] | ...and then she turns to me and says: |
| [07:55.82] | "Did you ever want to do it in an elevator?"〝 |
| [07:59.47] | What did you say? |
| [08:00.21] | I believe my exact words were: |
| [08:05.15] | How do you know if you wanna do that? |
| [08:08.06] | Oh, you just know. |
| [08:16.95] | Oh, we gotta go. Got a reservation in 30 minutes. |
| [08:19.88] | No, no, no. |
| [08:22.12] | WhatI had planned shouldn't take more than two, three minutes, tops. |
| [08:27.09] | Two hundred seconds of passion! We gotta go. |
| [08:31.24] | But, um... |
| [08:32.57] | ...here's an idea. |
| [08:36.75] | Have you ever worn women's underwear? |
| [08:40.33] | Well, yes, actually... |
| [08:42.36] | ...but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's. |
| [08:46.91] | And there were three of us in there. |
| [08:50.21] | I was thinking it would be, um, kind of ***y... |
| [08:53.28] | ...if you wore mine tonight at dinner. |
| [09:00.76] | You want me to wear your panties? |
| [09:04.22] | Could you? |
| [09:05.69] | If I was wearing your underwear... |
| [09:08.15] | ...then, uh, what would you be wearing? |
| [09:17.31] | You're swell! |
| [09:21.89] | I made Marcel's favorite dish, banana cake... |
| [09:24.43] | Ooh. ...with mealworm. |
| [09:25.71] | Ah. |
| [09:30.96] | Candle. Ha, ha. - Ha, ha. |
| [09:33.66] | What do you think is gonna happen here tonight? |
| [09:41.29] | Hello. |
| [09:42.92] | Oh, hi, are you on your way over...? |
| [09:46.91] | Oh. |
| [09:50.02] | No, I understand. A monkey's gotta work. |
| [09:54.44] | It's no big deal. |
| [09:55.78] | It's not like I, uh, had anything special planned, you know. |
| [10:02.34] | Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay, bye. |
| [10:11.30] | Okay. Rachel, why don't you start talking first? |
| [10:14.97] | All right. I feel that this is totally unjustified. |
| [10:18.38] | She gave me the green light, I did nothing... |
| [10:23.63] | Do you think I can't see you in the TV set? |
| [10:30.53] | Monica, if there's something you'd like to share... |
| [10:32.95] | You had no right to date him! |
| [10:35.02] | That's the most ridiculous... - You sold me out! |
| [10:38.00] | I did not! - You absolutely... |
| [10:39.28] | Would you let me talk! |
| [10:45.47] | Did you just flick me? |
| [10:48.71] | Well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was... |
| [10:50.99] | Ow, that hurt! - Ow. |
| [10:55.13] | Quit flicking! |
| [10:56.64] | Ow! Stop flicking! |
| [10:58.40] | You flicked me first! |
| [10:59.37] | Ow! |
| [11:00.26] | BOTH: Ow! |
| [11:05.57] | PHOEBE: Okay, no, no. |
| [11:06.38] | Let's not do this! |
| [11:07.84] | Come on. Happy thoughts. RACHEL: No! No! |
| [11:10.70] | Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! |
| [11:13.14] | No! Ow! No! |
| [11:16.10] | PHOEBE: Oh! Oh! RACHEL: Oh, God! |
| [11:18.26] | Oh! Ow! |
| [11:21.73] | Now I'm gonna kick some ass! |
| [11:24.02] | - Ow. - Ow.- |
| [11:25.82] | BOTH: Ow, ow, ow. |
| [11:32.91] | All right. Now, I will let go if you both stop. |
| [11:37.20] | Oh! You want me to stop seeing him? - Uh-huh. |
| [11:40.88] | You want me to just tell him you're seeing him instead? |
| [11:45.12] | Is that what you want? - Okay. |
| [11:48.91] | Oh, that's what you want? |
| [11:50.90] | Yes. |
| [11:53.58] | Fine! - Fine! |
| [11:55.79] | There we go. |
| [11:57.59] | - Ow. - Oh.- |
| [11:58.88] | Ha. If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my *******. |
| [12:11.04] | Thanks for letting me tag along. |
| [12:13.34] | Forget about it. |
| [12:17.29] | - How you doing there, squirmy? - I'm hanging in. |
| [12:20.28] | And a little out. |
| [12:24.34] | So assistant to the director? |
| [12:27.80] | That's an exciting job. You must have a ton of responsibilities... |
| [12:31.44] | I don't do the casting. |
| [12:33.50] | So, what are you guys gonna eat? |
| [12:37.25] | How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth... |
| [12:40.91] | ...and licking you all over? |
| [12:46.42] | Because I went to an all-boys high school, and God is making up for it? |
| [12:54.81] | I want you right here... |
| [12:56.88] | ...right now. |
| [12:58.99] | Right now, right here? |
| [13:01.21] | Don't you think we're in kind of a public place? |
| [13:06.67] | They do have the shrimp. |
| [13:10.63] | - Oh. - Meet me in the bathroom. |
| [13:19.17] | I'm going to the bathroom now. |
| [13:34.30] | All right, mister. |
| [13:36.23] | Let's see those panties. |
| [13:39.40] | Alrighty. |
| [13:42.43] | SUSIE: Ooh. Ooh. |
| [13:46.47] | But you know what would be even ***ier? |
| [13:48.92] | CHANDLER: What? |
| [13:50.39] | SUSIE: If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them. |
| [13:53.75] | CHANDLER: Oh. |
| [13:56.70] | SUSIE: All right. Now, I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. |
| [14:00.82] | Take your clothes off. |
| [14:03.12] | CHANDLER: But, uh, I hope you realize this means... |
| [14:09.43] | ...we'll miss hearing about the specials. |
| [14:10.53] | SUSIE: Come on, hurry! |
| [14:13.43] | CHANDLER: Do you want this done quick or done right? |
| [14:17.67] | SUSIE: All right, turn around. I wanna see you from behind. |
| [14:19.05] | Oh, oh. Somebody's been doing his Buns of Steel video. |
| [14:22.21] | CHANDLER: So you want me to, uh, clench anything or? |
| [14:28.19] | Susie? |
| [14:30.28] | Susie? |
| [14:31.73] | This, ha, ha, is for the fourth grade. |
| [14:36.73] | Huh? What do you mean? - What do I mean? |
| [14:39.37] | What do I mean? |
| [14:41.87] | I mean underpants, mister! That's what I mean! |
| [14:44.73] | What? What do you mean? |
| [14:46.39] | My skirt... |
| [14:47.85] | ...you lifted. Kids laughing! |
| [14:50.68] | I was Susie Underpants till I was 18! |
| [14:55.68] | That was in fourth grade! How could you still be upset? |
| [14:59.16] | Well, um... |
| [15:00.26] | Call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. |
| [15:09.35] | I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back! |
| [15:23.21] | I can't believe this. Ha, ha. |
| [15:24.65] | Just two weeks ago, I was watching Sudden Death... |
| [15:27.31] | ...and now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. |
| [15:32.18] | Can you beat up that guy? |
| [15:36.69] | Can you beat up that guy? - Sure. |
| [15:38.34] | Oh, this is so wild. |
| [15:41.17] | I gotta admit, I was surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date. |
| [15:45.77] | Normally, I would not do it. |
| [15:50.31] | Yeah? |
| [15:51.75] | What made you make the exception for me? |
| [15:53.02] | Rachel told me, uh... |
| [15:54.27] | ...you were dying to have a threesome with me and, uh, Drew Barrymore. |
| [15:57.82] | By the way, Drew has some ground rules and... |
| [16:02.75] | Say you're sorry! - No! |
| [16:04.05] | MONICA: Say it! |
| [16:06.35] | No! I'm not gonna! |
| [16:09.70] | Say it! Say it! Great! - Oh! |
| [16:13.05] | MONICA: Rachel. |
| [16:14.42] | Say you're sorry or your sweater gets it. |
| [16:18.29] | That is my favorite sweater! That is my third-date sweater! |
| [16:23.92] | Say you're sorry. |
| [16:26.76] | You wanna play? Okay, let's play. |
| [16:29.81] | Let's play. |
| [16:36.74] | What are you gonna do? |
| [16:37.81] | Give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara. |
| [16:44.12] | You don't have the guts. |
| [16:46.15] | Yeah? At least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy he was cute. |
| [16:59.99] | Oh, all right, stop! Stop the madness! |
| [17:06.69] | This is crazy! |
| [17:08.60] | Who can remember why you're fighting in the first place? |
| [17:16.21] | Yes, that's right. |
| [17:19.88] | But still... |
| [17:22.08] | Look at your purse! |
| [17:24.61] | Look at your sweater! |
| [17:27.40] | Look at yourselves! |
| [17:32.97] | I'll help you fix your sweater. |
| [17:35.13] | I'll help you... |
| [17:36.66] | ...throw out your purse. |
| [17:40.51] | I'm sorry I made you stop seeing him. |
| [17:44.21] | I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him. |
| [17:49.86] | I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves. |
| [18:12.90] | CHANDLER: Joey? |
| [18:14.08] | Ma? |
| [18:17.73] | CHANDLER: Joey! |
| [18:19.78] | What are you doing here? I thought you guys took off. |
| [18:23.38] | CHANDLER: She took off with my clothes! |
| [18:27.83] | Are you naked in there? - Well, not exactly. |
| [18:32.23] | I'm wearing panties. |
| [18:35.30] | Huh. |
| [18:37.48] | You, uh, always wear panties? |
| [18:41.29] | No, no. This is the first time. |
| [18:44.84] | Wow. Talk about your bad luck! |
| [18:48.28] | I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes. |
| [18:54.39] | CHANDLER: I was not trying them out. Susie asked me to wear them. |
| [18:58.84] | Let me see! |
| [19:00.15] | No! I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever! |
| [19:03.54] | All right, all right! |
| [19:07.64] | Whoa. |
| [19:10.90] | Someone's flossing! |
| [19:18.45] | Joey, some people don't like that. |
| [19:22.83] | Chandler's wearing panties. |
| [19:25.48] | What? |
| [19:27.56] | Let me see! CHANDLER: You don't have to see! |
| [19:31.80] | Hi, tushy! |
| [19:36.11] | One of you give me your underpants. - Oh, no. |
| [19:39.18] | I'm not wearing any. |
| [19:42.35] | How can you not be wearing any? |
| [19:44.37] | Oh. I'm getting heat from the guy in the hot-pink thong. |
| [19:49.34] | Look, Ross. I'll give you $50 for your underpants. |
| [19:53.18] | ALL: Hey. |
| [20:20.88] | Can I have the milk? - I'm almost done with it. |
| [20:23.71] | Keep your panties on. |
| [20:29.91] | Hey. Hey. |
| [20:31.46] | And I'm in the movie! - Hey. |
| [20:33.21] | What happened? - A virus victim called in sick... |
| [20:35.80] | ...so Cathy recommended me and boom! I'm dying on a gurney! |
| [20:39.85] | - Hey! - Oh. |
| [20:41.65] | Oh, Marcel just finished his last scene, if you wanna go say goodbye. |
| [20:47.05] | Uh, that's okay. He's probably got parties to go to and stuff. |
| [20:52.34] | You know, he's moved on. That's the way it goes, right? |
| [20:58.90] | Oh, my God! |
| [21:00.66] | What? |
| [21:48.90] | I think I want to write a song about all this. |
| [21:50.70] | RACHEL: Oh, yeah? PHOEBE: Yeah. |
| [21:52.76] | Ooh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. |
| [21:56.60] | Chandler, can I borrow your G-string? |
| [22:00.04] | How long you been waiting to say that? - About 20 minutes! |
| [22:08.83] | Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying! |
| [22:13.27] | DIRECTOR: Cut! |
| [22:15.52] | Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying! |
| [22:20.39] | DIRECTOR: Cut! |
| [22:22.95] | Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying! |
| [22:28.25] | Mommy! - Ah. |
| [22:31.79] | Can't you see what's going on? This man is dead! |
| [00:19.90] | GUARD: Ah, excuse me, this is a... |
| [00:21.36] | Closed set. We know. But we' re friends with the monkey, hmm? |
| [00:27.16] | Good morning. |
| [00:29.37] | Look who I brought! |
| [00:30.82] | Your old friend, Harry Elafonte! |
| [00:35.66] | Whoa, dude. Burn! |
| [00:39.43] | I don' t get it. |
| [00:40.54] | He seemed so happy to see me yesterday. |
| [00:43.20] | Don' t take it personal. He' s under pressure, starring in a movie and all. |
| [00:49.10] | Oh. |
| [00:49.42] | How big of a star is Marcel? |
| [00:51.46] | In human terms? I' d say... |
| [00:54.32] | ... Cybill Shepherd. ROSS: Whoa. |
| [00:56.27] | RACHEL: Really? JOEY: Whoa. |
| [00:59.23] | So you guys in the movie or you just really paranoid? |
| [01:04.32] | Hey, Sal? Mmhm? |
| [01:05.68] | Jerry wants to know if the monkey' s ready. |
| [01:08.39] | JOEY: Excuse me? |
| [01:09.53] | Jerry is the director? Which one' s he? |
| [01:12.12] | The one in the director' s chair? JOEY: Gotcha. |
| [01:15.36] | Pheebs, walk with me. |
| [01:17.77] | Okay. |
| [01:19.40] | Um, why am I walking with you? |
| [01:21.39] | Well, uh, we' re just going over here so that we can get away from... |
| [01:23.55] | ... the horrible flesheating virus! |
| [01:27.46] | For the love of God, woman, listen to me! |
| [01:30.33] | Is he looking? Is he looking? |
| [02:26.19] | SUSIE: We' ve got a problem. Tell me. |
| [02:28.57] | I can' t do Chris' makeup. |
| [02:30.07] | She refuses to acknowledge her mustache. |
| [02:32.77] | Is it bad? It looks like her eyebrow fell down. |
| [02:36.27] | Unless we convince her to let me bleach it... |
| [02:38.91] | ... JeanClaude Van Damme will be making out with Gabe Kaplan. |
| [02:42.58] | I' ll talk to her. |
| [02:45.05] | I hate actors. |
| [02:47.85] | Nice camouflage. For a minute there, I almost didn' t see you. |
| [02:54.79] | Excuse me. Whoa. Ah! |
| [02:58.04] | Uh, is your name Chandler? |
| [03:00.27] | Uh, yes, it is. |
| [03:02.07] | Chandler Bing. |
| [03:03.93] | Do you know me or are you just really good at this game? |
| [03:07.06] | I' m Susie Moss. |
| [03:08.61] | Fourth grade? Glasses? |
| [03:12.91] | I carried a box of animal crackers like a purse? |
| [03:14.66] | Susie Moss! |
| [03:16.48] | Right! Yeah! Wow! |
| [03:18.75] | You look... |
| [03:19.91] | Great job growing up. |
| [03:23.02] | It' s nice to see you don' t still wear the cap with the mirrors on it. |
| [03:26.70] | Oh, I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn' t a pimp. |
| [03:31.46] | Heh, heh. Remember the class play? |
| [03:33.55] | You pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants? |
| [03:39.55] | Yes. Back then, I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism. |
| [03:43.66] | Thank God I don' t do that anymore. |
| [03:50.65] | Oh, my God! What? What? |
| [03:53.24] | It' s JeanClaude Van Damme. |
| [03:55.02] | I didn' t know he was in this movie. He is so hot! |
| [03:58.55] | You think? |
| [04:00.11] | The Muscles from Brussels? WhamBamVanDamme? |
| [04:03.08] | Did you see Timecop? |
| [04:04.81] | No. Was he any good in it? |
| [04:06.64] | Rachel, he totally changed time! |
| [04:09.87] | WoW |
| [04:11.27] | So why don' t you go talk to him? Oh. Yeah. |
| [04:14.53] | Go tell him he' s cute. What' s the worst that could happen? |
| [04:17.64] | He could hear me. |
| [04:19.23] | Oh. |
| [04:20.87] | I' m doing it for you. Don' t you dare! Don' t! |
| [04:23.11] | Don' t! |
| [04:24.82] | Tell him I cook! |
| [04:27.70] | RACHEL: Excuse me. |
| [04:29.25] | Hi. Ha, ha. Hi. |
| [04:30.61] | Um, this is gonna sound kind of goofy. Ha, ha. |
| [04:33.44] | But, um, my friend over there... |
| [04:38.29] | ... who cooks, by the way... |
| [04:41.21] | Um, she thinks you' re cute. Heh. |
| [04:43.01] | You don' t think I' m cute? |
| [04:46.24] | I don' t know. Um... |
| [04:48.56] | Do you think you' re cute? |
| [04:52.53] | We' re getting off the track. Um, I was supposed to tell you... |
| [04:56.21] | ... my friend thinks you' re cute. |
| [04:58.90] | What should I tell her? |
| [05:00.82] | You can tell her I think her friend is cute. |
| [05:07.32] | Oh. Ha, ha. Huh? |
| [05:12.20] | Whoa. Ha, ha. |
| [05:13.26] | MAN: Makeup! Oh, that' s me. I gotta go. |
| [05:15.26] | Oh, uh... |
| [05:15.31] | Okay. |
| [05:17.10] | Um, how many times do I have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date? |
| [05:26.14] | Well, uh, let' s try one more. |
| [05:29.98] | There you go. Ernie' s, 8: 00? |
| [05:32.35] | I' ll be there. |
| [05:34.04] | And if things go well, maybe this time... |
| [05:36.74] | ... I' ll get to see your underwear. |
| [05:44.64] | No one was around to hear that? |
| [05:52.18] | So, what' d he say? Ugh! |
| [05:53.89] | What a jerk! |
| [05:55.28] | I kept talking about you, and he kept asking me out. |
| [06:01.26] | Oh. |
| [06:01.83] | Naturally, you know, I said no. |
| [06:06.45] | Well... |
| [06:07.84] | Thanks, anyway. |
| [06:09.04] | He just kept asking... |
| [06:10.90] | ... and asking, asking, asking... |
| [06:14.07] | If you want to go out with him, you can. |
| [06:17.68] | Sounds like a jerk to me, but... |
| [06:19.70] | JeanClaude, she said yes! I' ll see you tonight! |
| [06:25.41] | Thank you. |
| [06:32.80] | Then JeanClaude took me to Crossroads... |
| [06:36.30] | ... and we hung out with Drew Barrymore. |
| [06:39.47] | Oh, man. She' s so smoking! |
| [06:41.21] | She' s got the greatest set of... |
| [06:46.76] | No guys around, huh? |
| [06:50.28] | Anybody need anything? Oh, I' ll have an espresso. |
| [06:54.19] | Oh, I' ll get it. |
| [06:56.04] | If I ask you to, you' ll end up drinking it yourself. |
| [07:01.95] | That is so unfair. I know. |
| [07:04.37] | Like you' d drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme? |
| [07:10.08] | I have to cancel racquetball tonight. |
| [07:16.21] | You' re blowing me off for a monkey? |
| [07:18.16] | We can reschedule for Saturday. |
| [07:20.45] | Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons. |
| [07:24.47] | Hey. |
| [07:25.58] | Stick a fork in me... |
| [07:27.34] | ... I am done! |
| [07:30.75] | PHOEBE: Uh... |
| [07:31.04] | Stick a fork what? |
| [07:32.37] | Like when you' re cooking a steak. |
| [07:33.71] | Oh, I don' t eat meat. |
| [07:37.62] | How do you know vegetables are done? |
| [07:39.33] | Well, you don' t. You eat them and you can tell. |
| [07:42.63] | Okay, then eat me, I' m done! |
| [07:44.74] | Mm. |
| [07:48.59] | I' ve met the perfect woman. What? |
| [07:50.58] | We' re sitting on her couch, fooling around... |
| [07:52.97] | ... and then she turns to me and says: |
| [07:55.82] | " Did you ever want to do it in an elevator?" |
| [07:59.47] | What did you say? |
| [08:00.21] | I believe my exact words were: |
| [08:05.15] | How do you know if you wanna do that? |
| [08:08.06] | Oh, you just know. |
| [08:16.95] | Oh, we gotta go. Got a reservation in 30 minutes. |
| [08:19.88] | No, no, no. |
| [08:22.12] | WhatI had planned shouldn' t take more than two, three minutes, tops. |
| [08:27.09] | Two hundred seconds of passion! We gotta go. |
| [08:31.24] | But, um... |
| [08:32.57] | ... here' s an idea. |
| [08:36.75] | Have you ever worn women' s underwear? |
| [08:40.33] | Well, yes, actually... |
| [08:42.36] | ... but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna' s. |
| [08:46.91] | And there were three of us in there. |
| [08:50.21] | I was thinking it would be, um, kind of y... |
| [08:53.28] | ... if you wore mine tonight at dinner. |
| [09:00.76] | You want me to wear your panties? |
| [09:04.22] | Could you? |
| [09:05.69] | If I was wearing your underwear... |
| [09:08.15] | ... then, uh, what would you be wearing? |
| [09:17.31] | You' re swell! |
| [09:21.89] | I made Marcel' s favorite dish, banana cake... |
| [09:24.43] | Ooh. ... with mealworm. |
| [09:25.71] | Ah. |
| [09:30.96] | Candle. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. |
| [09:33.66] | What do you think is gonna happen here tonight? |
| [09:41.29] | Hello. |
| [09:42.92] | Oh, hi, are you on your way over...? |
| [09:46.91] | Oh. |
| [09:50.02] | No, I understand. A monkey' s gotta work. |
| [09:54.44] | It' s no big deal. |
| [09:55.78] | It' s not like I, uh, had anything special planned, you know. |
| [10:02.34] | Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay, bye. |
| [10:11.30] | Okay. Rachel, why don' t you start talking first? |
| [10:14.97] | All right. I feel that this is totally unjustified. |
| [10:18.38] | She gave me the green light, I did nothing... |
| [10:23.63] | Do you think I can' t see you in the TV set? |
| [10:30.53] | Monica, if there' s something you' d like to share... |
| [10:32.95] | You had no right to date him! |
| [10:35.02] | That' s the most ridiculous... You sold me out! |
| [10:38.00] | I did not! You absolutely... |
| [10:39.28] | Would you let me talk! |
| [10:45.47] | Did you just flick me? |
| [10:48.71] | Well, you wouldn' t let me finish and I was... |
| [10:50.99] | Ow, that hurt! Ow. |
| [10:55.13] | Quit flicking! |
| [10:56.64] | Ow! Stop flicking! |
| [10:58.40] | You flicked me first! |
| [10:59.37] | Ow! |
| [11:00.26] | BOTH: Ow! |
| [11:05.57] | PHOEBE: Okay, no, no. |
| [11:06.38] | Let' s not do this! |
| [11:07.84] | Come on. Happy thoughts. RACHEL: No! No! |
| [11:10.70] | Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! |
| [11:13.14] | No! Ow! No! |
| [11:16.10] | PHOEBE: Oh! Oh! RACHEL: Oh, God! |
| [11:18.26] | Oh! Ow! |
| [11:21.73] | Now I' m gonna kick some ass! |
| [11:24.02] | Ow. Ow. |
| [11:25.82] | BOTH: Ow, ow, ow. |
| [11:32.91] | All right. Now, I will let go if you both stop. |
| [11:37.20] | Oh! You want me to stop seeing him? Uhhuh. |
| [11:40.88] | You want me to just tell him you' re seeing him instead? |
| [11:45.12] | Is that what you want? Okay. |
| [11:48.91] | Oh, that' s what you want? |
| [11:50.90] | Yes. |
| [11:53.58] | Fine! Fine! |
| [11:55.79] | There we go. |
| [11:57.59] | Ow. Oh. |
| [11:58.88] | Ha. If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my . |
| [12:11.04] | Thanks for letting me tag along. |
| [12:13.34] | Forget about it. |
| [12:17.29] | How you doing there, squirmy? I' m hanging in. |
| [12:20.28] | And a little out. |
| [12:24.34] | So assistant to the director? |
| [12:27.80] | That' s an exciting job. You must have a ton of responsibilities... |
| [12:31.44] | I don' t do the casting. |
| [12:33.50] | So, what are you guys gonna eat? |
| [12:37.25] | How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth... |
| [12:40.91] | ... and licking you all over? |
| [12:46.42] | Because I went to an allboys high school, and God is making up for it? |
| [12:54.81] | I want you right here... |
| [12:56.88] | ... right now. |
| [12:58.99] | Right now, right here? |
| [13:01.21] | Don' t you think we' re in kind of a public place? |
| [13:06.67] | They do have the shrimp. |
| [13:10.63] | Oh. Meet me in the bathroom. |
| [13:19.17] | I' m going to the bathroom now. |
| [13:34.30] | All right, mister. |
| [13:36.23] | Let' s see those panties. |
| [13:39.40] | Alrighty. |
| [13:42.43] | SUSIE: Ooh. Ooh. |
| [13:46.47] | But you know what would be even ier? |
| [13:48.92] | CHANDLER: What? |
| [13:50.39] | SUSIE: If you didn' t have your shirt tucked into them. |
| [13:53.75] | CHANDLER: Oh. |
| [13:56.70] | SUSIE: All right. Now, I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. |
| [14:00.82] | Take your clothes off. |
| [14:03.12] | CHANDLER: But, uh, I hope you realize this means... |
| [14:09.43] | ... we' ll miss hearing about the specials. |
| [14:10.53] | SUSIE: Come on, hurry! |
| [14:13.43] | CHANDLER: Do you want this done quick or done right? |
| [14:17.67] | SUSIE: All right, turn around. I wanna see you from behind. |
| [14:19.05] | Oh, oh. Somebody' s been doing his Buns of Steel video. |
| [14:22.21] | CHANDLER: So you want me to, uh, clench anything or? |
| [14:28.19] | Susie? |
| [14:30.28] | Susie? |
| [14:31.73] | This, ha, ha, is for the fourth grade. |
| [14:36.73] | Huh? What do you mean? What do I mean? |
| [14:39.37] | What do I mean? |
| [14:41.87] | I mean underpants, mister! That' s what I mean! |
| [14:44.73] | What? What do you mean? |
| [14:46.39] | My skirt... |
| [14:47.85] | ... you lifted. Kids laughing! |
| [14:50.68] | I was Susie Underpants till I was 18! |
| [14:55.68] | That was in fourth grade! How could you still be upset? |
| [14:59.16] | Well, um... |
| [15:00.26] | Call me in 20 years and tell me if you' re still upset about this. |
| [15:09.35] | I hope you realize you' re not getting these underpants back! |
| [15:23.21] | I can' t believe this. Ha, ha. |
| [15:24.65] | Just two weeks ago, I was watching Sudden Death... |
| [15:27.31] | ... and now I' m on a date with JeanClaude Van Damme. |
| [15:32.18] | Can you beat up that guy? |
| [15:36.69] | Can you beat up that guy? Sure. |
| [15:38.34] | Oh, this is so wild. |
| [15:41.17] | I gotta admit, I was surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date. |
| [15:45.77] | Normally, I would not do it. |
| [15:50.31] | Yeah? |
| [15:51.75] | What made you make the exception for me? |
| [15:53.02] | Rachel told me, uh... |
| [15:54.27] | ... you were dying to have a threesome with me and, uh, Drew Barrymore. |
| [15:57.82] | By the way, Drew has some ground rules and... |
| [16:02.75] | Say you' re sorry! No! |
| [16:04.05] | MONICA: Say it! |
| [16:06.35] | No! I' m not gonna! |
| [16:09.70] | Say it! Say it! Great! Oh! |
| [16:13.05] | MONICA: Rachel. |
| [16:14.42] | Say you' re sorry or your sweater gets it. |
| [16:18.29] | That is my favorite sweater! That is my thirddate sweater! |
| [16:23.92] | Say you' re sorry. |
| [16:26.76] | You wanna play? Okay, let' s play. |
| [16:29.81] | Let' s play. |
| [16:36.74] | What are you gonna do? |
| [16:37.81] | Give me back my sweater or it' s handbag marinara. |
| [16:44.12] | You don' t have the guts. |
| [16:46.15] | Yeah? At least I wasn' t too chicken to tell some guy he was cute. |
| [16:59.99] | Oh, all right, stop! Stop the madness! |
| [17:06.69] | This is crazy! |
| [17:08.60] | Who can remember why you' re fighting in the first place? |
| [17:16.21] | Yes, that' s right. |
| [17:19.88] | But still... |
| [17:22.08] | Look at your purse! |
| [17:24.61] | Look at your sweater! |
| [17:27.40] | Look at yourselves! |
| [17:32.97] | I' ll help you fix your sweater. |
| [17:35.13] | I' ll help you... |
| [17:36.66] | ... throw out your purse. |
| [17:40.51] | I' m sorry I made you stop seeing him. |
| [17:44.21] | I' m sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him. |
| [17:49.86] | I' m sorry that I borrowed your gloves. |
| [18:12.90] | CHANDLER: Joey? |
| [18:14.08] | Ma? |
| [18:17.73] | CHANDLER: Joey! |
| [18:19.78] | What are you doing here? I thought you guys took off. |
| [18:23.38] | CHANDLER: She took off with my clothes! |
| [18:27.83] | Are you naked in there? Well, not exactly. |
| [18:32.23] | I' m wearing panties. |
| [18:35.30] | Huh. |
| [18:37.48] | You, uh, always wear panties? |
| [18:41.29] | No, no. This is the first time. |
| [18:44.84] | Wow. Talk about your bad luck! |
| [18:48.28] | I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes. |
| [18:54.39] | CHANDLER: I was not trying them out. Susie asked me to wear them. |
| [18:58.84] | Let me see! |
| [19:00.15] | No! I' m not letting you or anybody else see, ever! |
| [19:03.54] | All right, all right! |
| [19:07.64] | Whoa. |
| [19:10.90] | Someone' s flossing! |
| [19:18.45] | Joey, some people don' t like that. |
| [19:22.83] | Chandler' s wearing panties. |
| [19:25.48] | What? |
| [19:27.56] | Let me see! CHANDLER: You don' t have to see! |
| [19:31.80] | Hi, tushy! |
| [19:36.11] | One of you give me your underpants. Oh, no. |
| [19:39.18] | I' m not wearing any. |
| [19:42.35] | How can you not be wearing any? |
| [19:44.37] | Oh. I' m getting heat from the guy in the hotpink thong. |
| [19:49.34] | Look, Ross. I' ll give you 50 for your underpants. |
| [19:53.18] | ALL: Hey. |
| [20:20.88] | Can I have the milk? I' m almost done with it. |
| [20:23.71] | Keep your panties on. |
| [20:29.91] | Hey. Hey. |
| [20:31.46] | And I' m in the movie! Hey. |
| [20:33.21] | What happened? A virus victim called in sick... |
| [20:35.80] | ... so Cathy recommended me and boom! I' m dying on a gurney! |
| [20:39.85] | Hey! Oh. |
| [20:41.65] | Oh, Marcel just finished his last scene, if you wanna go say goodbye. |
| [20:47.05] | Uh, that' s okay. He' s probably got parties to go to and stuff. |
| [20:52.34] | You know, he' s moved on. That' s the way it goes, right? |
| [20:58.90] | Oh, my God! |
| [21:00.66] | What? |
| [21:48.90] | I think I want to write a song about all this. |
| [21:50.70] | RACHEL: Oh, yeah? PHOEBE: Yeah. |
| [21:52.76] | Ooh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. |
| [21:56.60] | Chandler, can I borrow your Gstring? |
| [22:00.04] | How long you been waiting to say that? About 20 minutes! |
| [22:08.83] | Can' t you see what' s going on here? This man is dying! |
| [22:13.27] | DIRECTOR: Cut! |
| [22:15.52] | Can' t you see what' s going on here? This man is dying! |
| [22:20.39] | DIRECTOR: Cut! |
| [22:22.95] | Can' t you see what' s going on here? This man is dying! |
| [22:28.25] | Mommy! Ah. |
| [22:31.79] | Can' t you see what' s going on? This man is dead! |
| [00:19.90] | GUARD: Ah, excuse me, this is a... |
| [00:21.36] | Closed set. We know. But we' re friends with the monkey, hmm? |
| [00:27.16] | Good morning. |
| [00:29.37] | Look who I brought! |
| [00:30.82] | Your old friend, Harry Elafonte! |
| [00:35.66] | Whoa, dude. Burn! |
| [00:39.43] | I don' t get it. |
| [00:40.54] | He seemed so happy to see me yesterday. |
| [00:43.20] | Don' t take it personal. He' s under pressure, starring in a movie and all. |
| [00:49.10] | Oh. |
| [00:49.42] | How big of a star is Marcel? |
| [00:51.46] | In human terms? I' d say... |
| [00:54.32] | ... Cybill Shepherd. ROSS: Whoa. |
| [00:56.27] | RACHEL: Really? JOEY: Whoa. |
| [00:59.23] | So you guys in the movie or you just really paranoid? |
| [01:04.32] | Hey, Sal? Mmhm? |
| [01:05.68] | Jerry wants to know if the monkey' s ready. |
| [01:08.39] | JOEY: Excuse me? |
| [01:09.53] | Jerry is the director? Which one' s he? |
| [01:12.12] | The one in the director' s chair? JOEY: Gotcha. |
| [01:15.36] | Pheebs, walk with me. |
| [01:17.77] | Okay. |
| [01:19.40] | Um, why am I walking with you? |
| [01:21.39] | Well, uh, we' re just going over here so that we can get away from... |
| [01:23.55] | ... the horrible flesheating virus! |
| [01:27.46] | For the love of God, woman, listen to me! |
| [01:30.33] | Is he looking? Is he looking? |
| [02:26.19] | SUSIE: We' ve got a problem. Tell me. |
| [02:28.57] | I can' t do Chris' makeup. |
| [02:30.07] | She refuses to acknowledge her mustache. |
| [02:32.77] | Is it bad? It looks like her eyebrow fell down. |
| [02:36.27] | Unless we convince her to let me bleach it... |
| [02:38.91] | ... JeanClaude Van Damme will be making out with Gabe Kaplan. |
| [02:42.58] | I' ll talk to her. |
| [02:45.05] | I hate actors. |
| [02:47.85] | Nice camouflage. For a minute there, I almost didn' t see you. |
| [02:54.79] | Excuse me. Whoa. Ah! |
| [02:58.04] | Uh, is your name Chandler? |
| [03:00.27] | Uh, yes, it is. |
| [03:02.07] | Chandler Bing. |
| [03:03.93] | Do you know me or are you just really good at this game? |
| [03:07.06] | I' m Susie Moss. |
| [03:08.61] | Fourth grade? Glasses? |
| [03:12.91] | I carried a box of animal crackers like a purse? |
| [03:14.66] | Susie Moss! |
| [03:16.48] | Right! Yeah! Wow! |
| [03:18.75] | You look... |
| [03:19.91] | Great job growing up. |
| [03:23.02] | It' s nice to see you don' t still wear the cap with the mirrors on it. |
| [03:26.70] | Oh, I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn' t a pimp. |
| [03:31.46] | Heh, heh. Remember the class play? |
| [03:33.55] | You pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants? |
| [03:39.55] | Yes. Back then, I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism. |
| [03:43.66] | Thank God I don' t do that anymore. |
| [03:50.65] | Oh, my God! What? What? |
| [03:53.24] | It' s JeanClaude Van Damme. |
| [03:55.02] | I didn' t know he was in this movie. He is so hot! |
| [03:58.55] | You think? |
| [04:00.11] | The Muscles from Brussels? WhamBamVanDamme? |
| [04:03.08] | Did you see Timecop? |
| [04:04.81] | No. Was he any good in it? |
| [04:06.64] | Rachel, he totally changed time! |
| [04:09.87] | WoW |
| [04:11.27] | So why don' t you go talk to him? Oh. Yeah. |
| [04:14.53] | Go tell him he' s cute. What' s the worst that could happen? |
| [04:17.64] | He could hear me. |
| [04:19.23] | Oh. |
| [04:20.87] | I' m doing it for you. Don' t you dare! Don' t! |
| [04:23.11] | Don' t! |
| [04:24.82] | Tell him I cook! |
| [04:27.70] | RACHEL: Excuse me. |
| [04:29.25] | Hi. Ha, ha. Hi. |
| [04:30.61] | Um, this is gonna sound kind of goofy. Ha, ha. |
| [04:33.44] | But, um, my friend over there... |
| [04:38.29] | ... who cooks, by the way... |
| [04:41.21] | Um, she thinks you' re cute. Heh. |
| [04:43.01] | You don' t think I' m cute? |
| [04:46.24] | I don' t know. Um... |
| [04:48.56] | Do you think you' re cute? |
| [04:52.53] | We' re getting off the track. Um, I was supposed to tell you... |
| [04:56.21] | ... my friend thinks you' re cute. |
| [04:58.90] | What should I tell her? |
| [05:00.82] | You can tell her I think her friend is cute. |
| [05:07.32] | Oh. Ha, ha. Huh? |
| [05:12.20] | Whoa. Ha, ha. |
| [05:13.26] | MAN: Makeup! Oh, that' s me. I gotta go. |
| [05:15.26] | Oh, uh... |
| [05:15.31] | Okay. |
| [05:17.10] | Um, how many times do I have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date? |
| [05:26.14] | Well, uh, let' s try one more. |
| [05:29.98] | There you go. Ernie' s, 8: 00? |
| [05:32.35] | I' ll be there. |
| [05:34.04] | And if things go well, maybe this time... |
| [05:36.74] | ... I' ll get to see your underwear. |
| [05:44.64] | No one was around to hear that? |
| [05:52.18] | So, what' d he say? Ugh! |
| [05:53.89] | What a jerk! |
| [05:55.28] | I kept talking about you, and he kept asking me out. |
| [06:01.26] | Oh. |
| [06:01.83] | Naturally, you know, I said no. |
| [06:06.45] | Well... |
| [06:07.84] | Thanks, anyway. |
| [06:09.04] | He just kept asking... |
| [06:10.90] | ... and asking, asking, asking... |
| [06:14.07] | If you want to go out with him, you can. |
| [06:17.68] | Sounds like a jerk to me, but... |
| [06:19.70] | JeanClaude, she said yes! I' ll see you tonight! |
| [06:25.41] | Thank you. |
| [06:32.80] | Then JeanClaude took me to Crossroads... |
| [06:36.30] | ... and we hung out with Drew Barrymore. |
| [06:39.47] | Oh, man. She' s so smoking! |
| [06:41.21] | She' s got the greatest set of... |
| [06:46.76] | No guys around, huh? |
| [06:50.28] | Anybody need anything? Oh, I' ll have an espresso. |
| [06:54.19] | Oh, I' ll get it. |
| [06:56.04] | If I ask you to, you' ll end up drinking it yourself. |
| [07:01.95] | That is so unfair. I know. |
| [07:04.37] | Like you' d drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme? |
| [07:10.08] | I have to cancel racquetball tonight. |
| [07:16.21] | You' re blowing me off for a monkey? |
| [07:18.16] | We can reschedule for Saturday. |
| [07:20.45] | Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons. |
| [07:24.47] | Hey. |
| [07:25.58] | Stick a fork in me... |
| [07:27.34] | ... I am done! |
| [07:30.75] | PHOEBE: Uh... |
| [07:31.04] | Stick a fork what? |
| [07:32.37] | Like when you' re cooking a steak. |
| [07:33.71] | Oh, I don' t eat meat. |
| [07:37.62] | How do you know vegetables are done? |
| [07:39.33] | Well, you don' t. You eat them and you can tell. |
| [07:42.63] | Okay, then eat me, I' m done! |
| [07:44.74] | Mm. |
| [07:48.59] | I' ve met the perfect woman. What? |
| [07:50.58] | We' re sitting on her couch, fooling around... |
| [07:52.97] | ... and then she turns to me and says: |
| [07:55.82] | " Did you ever want to do it in an elevator?" |
| [07:59.47] | What did you say? |
| [08:00.21] | I believe my exact words were: |
| [08:05.15] | How do you know if you wanna do that? |
| [08:08.06] | Oh, you just know. |
| [08:16.95] | Oh, we gotta go. Got a reservation in 30 minutes. |
| [08:19.88] | No, no, no. |
| [08:22.12] | WhatI had planned shouldn' t take more than two, three minutes, tops. |
| [08:27.09] | Two hundred seconds of passion! We gotta go. |
| [08:31.24] | But, um... |
| [08:32.57] | ... here' s an idea. |
| [08:36.75] | Have you ever worn women' s underwear? |
| [08:40.33] | Well, yes, actually... |
| [08:42.36] | ... but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna' s. |
| [08:46.91] | And there were three of us in there. |
| [08:50.21] | I was thinking it would be, um, kind of y... |
| [08:53.28] | ... if you wore mine tonight at dinner. |
| [09:00.76] | You want me to wear your panties? |
| [09:04.22] | Could you? |
| [09:05.69] | If I was wearing your underwear... |
| [09:08.15] | ... then, uh, what would you be wearing? |
| [09:17.31] | You' re swell! |
| [09:21.89] | I made Marcel' s favorite dish, banana cake... |
| [09:24.43] | Ooh. ... with mealworm. |
| [09:25.71] | Ah. |
| [09:30.96] | Candle. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. |
| [09:33.66] | What do you think is gonna happen here tonight? |
| [09:41.29] | Hello. |
| [09:42.92] | Oh, hi, are you on your way over...? |
| [09:46.91] | Oh. |
| [09:50.02] | No, I understand. A monkey' s gotta work. |
| [09:54.44] | It' s no big deal. |
| [09:55.78] | It' s not like I, uh, had anything special planned, you know. |
| [10:02.34] | Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay, bye. |
| [10:11.30] | Okay. Rachel, why don' t you start talking first? |
| [10:14.97] | All right. I feel that this is totally unjustified. |
| [10:18.38] | She gave me the green light, I did nothing... |
| [10:23.63] | Do you think I can' t see you in the TV set? |
| [10:30.53] | Monica, if there' s something you' d like to share... |
| [10:32.95] | You had no right to date him! |
| [10:35.02] | That' s the most ridiculous... You sold me out! |
| [10:38.00] | I did not! You absolutely... |
| [10:39.28] | Would you let me talk! |
| [10:45.47] | Did you just flick me? |
| [10:48.71] | Well, you wouldn' t let me finish and I was... |
| [10:50.99] | Ow, that hurt! Ow. |
| [10:55.13] | Quit flicking! |
| [10:56.64] | Ow! Stop flicking! |
| [10:58.40] | You flicked me first! |
| [10:59.37] | Ow! |
| [11:00.26] | BOTH: Ow! |
| [11:05.57] | PHOEBE: Okay, no, no. |
| [11:06.38] | Let' s not do this! |
| [11:07.84] | Come on. Happy thoughts. RACHEL: No! No! |
| [11:10.70] | Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! |
| [11:13.14] | No! Ow! No! |
| [11:16.10] | PHOEBE: Oh! Oh! RACHEL: Oh, God! |
| [11:18.26] | Oh! Ow! |
| [11:21.73] | Now I' m gonna kick some ass! |
| [11:24.02] | Ow. Ow. |
| [11:25.82] | BOTH: Ow, ow, ow. |
| [11:32.91] | All right. Now, I will let go if you both stop. |
| [11:37.20] | Oh! You want me to stop seeing him? Uhhuh. |
| [11:40.88] | You want me to just tell him you' re seeing him instead? |
| [11:45.12] | Is that what you want? Okay. |
| [11:48.91] | Oh, that' s what you want? |
| [11:50.90] | Yes. |
| [11:53.58] | Fine! Fine! |
| [11:55.79] | There we go. |
| [11:57.59] | Ow. Oh. |
| [11:58.88] | Ha. If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my . |
| [12:11.04] | Thanks for letting me tag along. |
| [12:13.34] | Forget about it. |
| [12:17.29] | How you doing there, squirmy? I' m hanging in. |
| [12:20.28] | And a little out. |
| [12:24.34] | So assistant to the director? |
| [12:27.80] | That' s an exciting job. You must have a ton of responsibilities... |
| [12:31.44] | I don' t do the casting. |
| [12:33.50] | So, what are you guys gonna eat? |
| [12:37.25] | How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth... |
| [12:40.91] | ... and licking you all over? |
| [12:46.42] | Because I went to an allboys high school, and God is making up for it? |
| [12:54.81] | I want you right here... |
| [12:56.88] | ... right now. |
| [12:58.99] | Right now, right here? |
| [13:01.21] | Don' t you think we' re in kind of a public place? |
| [13:06.67] | They do have the shrimp. |
| [13:10.63] | Oh. Meet me in the bathroom. |
| [13:19.17] | I' m going to the bathroom now. |
| [13:34.30] | All right, mister. |
| [13:36.23] | Let' s see those panties. |
| [13:39.40] | Alrighty. |
| [13:42.43] | SUSIE: Ooh. Ooh. |
| [13:46.47] | But you know what would be even ier? |
| [13:48.92] | CHANDLER: What? |
| [13:50.39] | SUSIE: If you didn' t have your shirt tucked into them. |
| [13:53.75] | CHANDLER: Oh. |
| [13:56.70] | SUSIE: All right. Now, I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. |
| [14:00.82] | Take your clothes off. |
| [14:03.12] | CHANDLER: But, uh, I hope you realize this means... |
| [14:09.43] | ... we' ll miss hearing about the specials. |
| [14:10.53] | SUSIE: Come on, hurry! |
| [14:13.43] | CHANDLER: Do you want this done quick or done right? |
| [14:17.67] | SUSIE: All right, turn around. I wanna see you from behind. |
| [14:19.05] | Oh, oh. Somebody' s been doing his Buns of Steel video. |
| [14:22.21] | CHANDLER: So you want me to, uh, clench anything or? |
| [14:28.19] | Susie? |
| [14:30.28] | Susie? |
| [14:31.73] | This, ha, ha, is for the fourth grade. |
| [14:36.73] | Huh? What do you mean? What do I mean? |
| [14:39.37] | What do I mean? |
| [14:41.87] | I mean underpants, mister! That' s what I mean! |
| [14:44.73] | What? What do you mean? |
| [14:46.39] | My skirt... |
| [14:47.85] | ... you lifted. Kids laughing! |
| [14:50.68] | I was Susie Underpants till I was 18! |
| [14:55.68] | That was in fourth grade! How could you still be upset? |
| [14:59.16] | Well, um... |
| [15:00.26] | Call me in 20 years and tell me if you' re still upset about this. |
| [15:09.35] | I hope you realize you' re not getting these underpants back! |
| [15:23.21] | I can' t believe this. Ha, ha. |
| [15:24.65] | Just two weeks ago, I was watching Sudden Death... |
| [15:27.31] | ... and now I' m on a date with JeanClaude Van Damme. |
| [15:32.18] | Can you beat up that guy? |
| [15:36.69] | Can you beat up that guy? Sure. |
| [15:38.34] | Oh, this is so wild. |
| [15:41.17] | I gotta admit, I was surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date. |
| [15:45.77] | Normally, I would not do it. |
| [15:50.31] | Yeah? |
| [15:51.75] | What made you make the exception for me? |
| [15:53.02] | Rachel told me, uh... |
| [15:54.27] | ... you were dying to have a threesome with me and, uh, Drew Barrymore. |
| [15:57.82] | By the way, Drew has some ground rules and... |
| [16:02.75] | Say you' re sorry! No! |
| [16:04.05] | MONICA: Say it! |
| [16:06.35] | No! I' m not gonna! |
| [16:09.70] | Say it! Say it! Great! Oh! |
| [16:13.05] | MONICA: Rachel. |
| [16:14.42] | Say you' re sorry or your sweater gets it. |
| [16:18.29] | That is my favorite sweater! That is my thirddate sweater! |
| [16:23.92] | Say you' re sorry. |
| [16:26.76] | You wanna play? Okay, let' s play. |
| [16:29.81] | Let' s play. |
| [16:36.74] | What are you gonna do? |
| [16:37.81] | Give me back my sweater or it' s handbag marinara. |
| [16:44.12] | You don' t have the guts. |
| [16:46.15] | Yeah? At least I wasn' t too chicken to tell some guy he was cute. |
| [16:59.99] | Oh, all right, stop! Stop the madness! |
| [17:06.69] | This is crazy! |
| [17:08.60] | Who can remember why you' re fighting in the first place? |
| [17:16.21] | Yes, that' s right. |
| [17:19.88] | But still... |
| [17:22.08] | Look at your purse! |
| [17:24.61] | Look at your sweater! |
| [17:27.40] | Look at yourselves! |
| [17:32.97] | I' ll help you fix your sweater. |
| [17:35.13] | I' ll help you... |
| [17:36.66] | ... throw out your purse. |
| [17:40.51] | I' m sorry I made you stop seeing him. |
| [17:44.21] | I' m sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him. |
| [17:49.86] | I' m sorry that I borrowed your gloves. |
| [18:12.90] | CHANDLER: Joey? |
| [18:14.08] | Ma? |
| [18:17.73] | CHANDLER: Joey! |
| [18:19.78] | What are you doing here? I thought you guys took off. |
| [18:23.38] | CHANDLER: She took off with my clothes! |
| [18:27.83] | Are you naked in there? Well, not exactly. |
| [18:32.23] | I' m wearing panties. |
| [18:35.30] | Huh. |
| [18:37.48] | You, uh, always wear panties? |
| [18:41.29] | No, no. This is the first time. |
| [18:44.84] | Wow. Talk about your bad luck! |
| [18:48.28] | I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes. |
| [18:54.39] | CHANDLER: I was not trying them out. Susie asked me to wear them. |
| [18:58.84] | Let me see! |
| [19:00.15] | No! I' m not letting you or anybody else see, ever! |
| [19:03.54] | All right, all right! |
| [19:07.64] | Whoa. |
| [19:10.90] | Someone' s flossing! |
| [19:18.45] | Joey, some people don' t like that. |
| [19:22.83] | Chandler' s wearing panties. |
| [19:25.48] | What? |
| [19:27.56] | Let me see! CHANDLER: You don' t have to see! |
| [19:31.80] | Hi, tushy! |
| [19:36.11] | One of you give me your underpants. Oh, no. |
| [19:39.18] | I' m not wearing any. |
| [19:42.35] | How can you not be wearing any? |
| [19:44.37] | Oh. I' m getting heat from the guy in the hotpink thong. |
| [19:49.34] | Look, Ross. I' ll give you 50 for your underpants. |
| [19:53.18] | ALL: Hey. |
| [20:20.88] | Can I have the milk? I' m almost done with it. |
| [20:23.71] | Keep your panties on. |
| [20:29.91] | Hey. Hey. |
| [20:31.46] | And I' m in the movie! Hey. |
| [20:33.21] | What happened? A virus victim called in sick... |
| [20:35.80] | ... so Cathy recommended me and boom! I' m dying on a gurney! |
| [20:39.85] | Hey! Oh. |
| [20:41.65] | Oh, Marcel just finished his last scene, if you wanna go say goodbye. |
| [20:47.05] | Uh, that' s okay. He' s probably got parties to go to and stuff. |
| [20:52.34] | You know, he' s moved on. That' s the way it goes, right? |
| [20:58.90] | Oh, my God! |
| [21:00.66] | What? |
| [21:48.90] | I think I want to write a song about all this. |
| [21:50.70] | RACHEL: Oh, yeah? PHOEBE: Yeah. |
| [21:52.76] | Ooh, except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. |
| [21:56.60] | Chandler, can I borrow your Gstring? |
| [22:00.04] | How long you been waiting to say that? About 20 minutes! |
| [22:08.83] | Can' t you see what' s going on here? This man is dying! |
| [22:13.27] | DIRECTOR: Cut! |
| [22:15.52] | Can' t you see what' s going on here? This man is dying! |
| [22:20.39] | DIRECTOR: Cut! |
| [22:22.95] | Can' t you see what' s going on here? This man is dying! |
| [22:28.25] | Mommy! Ah. |
| [22:31.79] | Can' t you see what' s going on? This man is dead! |
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