| [00:02.510] | Chandler,Mon,there's only one banana-nut muffin left. |
| [00:05.920] | I ordered mine first. |
| [00:07.350] | Yeah,but I'm so much faster. |
| [00:10.820] | Give it to me. |
| [00:12.220] | No. |
| [00:13.690] | Give it to me! |
| [00:15.730] | Okay,you can have it. |
| [00:25.400] | There you go. Enjoy your coffee. |
| [00:28.910] | That was there when I got here. |
| [00:33.910] | Hey,you'll never guess who's coming to New York. |
| [00:37.750] | Quick,tell us before he swallows. |
| [00:40.250] | Ryan,that guy I dated who's in the Navy. |
| [00:46.290] | I met him while playing guitar in the park. |
| [00:52.500] | Is that when you wrote "Saltwater Taffy Man"? |
| [00:57.500] | No,he's my submarine guy. He resurfaces every couple years... |
| [01:01.470] | ...and we have an amazing three days together. … |
| [01:04.340] | Only this time,he's coming for 2 weeks. Two whole weeks,which means "yea"! |
| [01:10.780] | So this guy goes down for,like,two years at a time? |
| [01:17.490] | That'll teach you to lick my muffin. |
| [01:24.160] | Hi. |
| [01:26.360] | Oh,no. What happened? |
| [01:27.800] | I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got chickenpox. |
| [01:30.470] | Oh,no. |
| [01:31.670] | Yeah,so if you haven't had it, chances are you'll get it. |
| [01:35.210] | -I've had it. -I've had it. |
| [01:37.140] | -Had it. -Had it. |
| [01:38.340] | I've never had it. I feel so left out. Oh,look! |
| [01:45.380] | The One With the Chicken Pox |
| [01:55.870] | |
| [02:35.770] | Honey,you made the bed again. |
| [02:38.740] | I told you,you don't have to do that. This isn't camp. |
| [02:42.210] | Then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. |
| [02:47.880] | I'm taking a shower. Today I'll sing Jim Croce's "Leroy Brown." |
| [03:04.560] | Hey,Mon,I have a question. |
| [03:07.300] | Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town... |
| [03:10.440] | ...or the fattest man? … |
| [03:13.400] | The baddest. Otherwise,the song would be "Fat,Fat Leroy Brown." |
| [03:18.340] | What are you doing? |
| [03:21.250] | I'm just waiting for you,sweetie. |
| [03:26.580] | Are you remaking the bed? |
| [03:29.490] | I'm sorry. The way you did it, it was just fine. |
| [03:32.920] | Then you're redoing it because...? |
| [03:35.530] | You'll think I'm crazy. |
| [03:37.430] | You're pretty much running that risk either way. |
| [03:42.030] | Okay. You see... |
| [03:44.540] | ...the duvet tag shouldn't be at the top left corner... … |
| [03:47.710] | ...it should be at the bottom right corner. … |
| [03:51.280] | -That's not so crazy. -I'm just easing you in. |
| [03:54.550] | All right. |
| [03:56.310] | You see these little flower blossoms? |
| [03:58.650] | They should be facing up not down... |
| [04:00.890] | ...because the head of the bed is where the sun would be. … |
| [04:08.390] | You don't love me anymore,do you? |
| [04:12.560] | Actually,if it's possible, I love you more. |
| [04:16.330] | Really? |
| [04:19.240] | Wow. Well,then,come on! |
| [04:21.540] | I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point. |
| [04:29.150] | If you need something to hold you over... |
| [04:31.380] | ...I can get you a job here as an entry-level processor. … |
| [04:34.490] | Don't you need experience? |
| [04:36.550] | It's not hard to learn. |
| [04:38.160] | As for people realizing you don't know what you're doing,you're an actor. |
| [04:42.090] | Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor. |
| [04:47.000] | Here's this morning's projections. |
| [04:49.530] | Thanks. Scott Alexander,Joey Tribbiani. |
| [04:52.570] | Joey is a fellow processor. |
| [04:55.870] | No kidding? |
| [05:00.880] | I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call. |
| [05:06.120] | -Where do you work? -Well,I'm in between things. |
| [05:09.620] | You know,one day you're processing, the next day... |
| [05:13.190] | ...you're not so much processing anymore. … |
| [05:16.130] | I told Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group. |
| [05:18.800] | Fleischman's group. |
| [05:20.630] | Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. |
| [05:26.940] | Are all you processors dorks? |
| [05:35.210] | This lipstick looks just great on you. |
| [05:38.580] | You look fabulous. You really do. |
| [05:40.790] | Yeah,are you sure? Really? |
| [05:45.490] | See,you look beautiful. For God sakes,dim the lights. |
| [05:50.930] | I'm hideous! |
| [05:52.630] | It's gonna be okay. |
| [05:54.270] | Ryan's been underwater. |
| [05:56.000] | He's just gonna be glad you don't have barnacles on your butt. |
| [06:12.180] | Come in. |
| [06:14.590] | Hey,baby,I'm back |
| [06:16.320] | Hey,Ryan. What's up? |
| [06:21.090] | What's going on? |
| [06:22.330] | No,no. You have to stay back. |
| [06:25.330] | I have the pox! |
| [06:29.500] | Chicken or small? |
| [06:40.880] | Please tell me you have,because oh,my God,I forgot how cute you are. |
| [06:46.350] | I'm sorry,I never had them. |
| [06:50.860] | If I had one wish, I'd go back to when I was 7... |
| [06:54.530] | ...when Jimmy Hauser had chickenpox, and rub that kid all over my face. … |
| [06:59.630] | Yeah,or you could wish that I didn't have them now. |
| [07:03.530] | Can I see your face? |
| [07:05.000] | No. You don't wanna see a face covered with pox. |
| [07:08.040] | It could be lox,I wouldn't care. |
| [07:11.710] | And you hate fish. |
| [07:15.380] | So sweet. All right. |
| [07:17.350] | Okay,all right. You can see. |
| [07:20.490] | This is me. |
| [07:27.260] | Sorry! |
| [07:29.230] | I am scary! |
| [07:30.700] | The lightening was an unfortunate coincidence. |
| [07:35.370] | You look lovely! Lovely! |
| [07:37.540] | I hate this. |
| [07:39.270] | I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us. |
| [07:42.540] | And everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this. |
| [07:53.280] | ...thinking about this moment. … |
| [07:56.050] | I am not gonna let a bunch... |
| [07:58.760] | ...of itchy spots stand between us. … |
| [08:08.400] | Okay. This is the most romantic disease I've ever had. |
| [08:18.640] | -How's the first day? -Good. It's like you said. |
| [08:21.550] | It's putting numbers from one column into another. |
| [08:24.720] | There you go. |
| [08:34.660] | Turns out our kids go to the same school. |
| [08:40.330] | Yeah. Small world,huh? |
| [08:43.470] | Weird world. |
| [08:45.870] | Your kids? |
| [08:47.170] | I figure my character has kids. |
| [08:55.410] | When you're acting,you need to think about that stuff. |
| [08:58.620] | My character, Joseph the processing guy... |
| [09:02.120] | ... has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. … |
| [09:06.920] | Ashley copies everything Brittany does. |
| [09:14.830] | Well,invisible kids can be that way sometimes. |
| [09:19.540] | You know,Joseph and his wife,Karen, are thinking of having a third kid. |
| [09:24.210] | You know what? |
| [09:26.340] | Just did. |
| [09:29.010] | That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there. |
| [09:43.430] | IKnow what makes the itching worse? |
| [09:45.830] | That you don't stop talking about it? |
| [09:49.570] | -Fine. -Let's just play,okay? |
| [09:52.570] | Good,okay. |
| [09:53.870] | Here we go,double sixes. |
| [09:56.410] | Here we go.... |
| [09:59.740] | Here we go.... |
| [10:04.780] | What are you doing? Are you scratching? |
| [10:07.120] | No. This is what I do for luck,okay? |
| [10:11.020] | You're scratching. |
| [10:12.690] | Give me the dice. |
| [10:14.090] | -Give me the dice. -No! Here. There! |
| [10:16.860] | Look,double sixes! |
| [10:19.900] | We can't scratch. We'll scar. |
| [10:22.530] | I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. |
| [10:26.470] | I wanna grab these houses and rub them all over my body. |
| [10:30.040] | -No! -Give it! |
| [10:31.810] | Come on! |
| [10:33.310] | You know you want it. You know you want it too. |
| [10:36.250] | Let's just be bad. It'll feel so good. |
| [10:41.720] | Oh,God,help me. |
| [10:45.460] | -Oh,yeah. -Okay,good. Now do me. |
| [10:47.630] | Do my back. Oh,come on. Harder! |
| [10:50.660] | There you go. |
| [10:51.800] | -Don't move. -Why? |
| [10:52.930] | -Don't move. -What are you...? |
| [10:59.100] | Stop that. Stop that right now. |
| [11:01.910] | I might've expected this of Phoebe. But,Ryan,you're a military man. |
| [11:10.620] | You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Bring the kids. |
| [11:14.590] | We'll make a day of it. |
| [11:16.250] | That sounds lovely. We'll have to set it up. |
| [11:19.160] | I better get back. Hope the baby feels better. |
| [11:22.090] | Thanks. |
| [11:24.000] | -Bye-bye,Jeannie. -Bye-bye,Joseph. |
| [11:26.760] | What a phony. |
| [11:31.300] | You'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. |
| [11:36.440] | -Hey,Mr. Douglas. -Sir. |
| [11:38.380] | Bing,I got your memo. We're not gonna see the report until next Friday? |
| [11:45.850] | I have a family. I'm gonna be here. |
| [11:48.850] | Yeah,Bing. What's that about? |
| [11:56.000] | It's about cutting them a little slack for morale. |
| [11:59.330] | Look,I can get some rough numbers by Wednesday. |
| [12:02.370] | Rough numbers? |
| [12:05.500] | This company wasn't built on rough numbers. Right,Mr. Douglas? |
| [12:10.140] | Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday. |
| [12:13.180] | If you say so,sir. |
| [12:16.080] | Joseph's good,isn't he? |
| [12:20.250] | I'm going to kill you. |
| [12:23.020] | Hey,I just figured Joseph's the kind of guy who likes to mix it up. |
| [12:27.660] | You know,get in there, ruffle some feathers. |
| [12:32.100] | Why? |
| [12:35.270] | Look,I'm sorry, but that's what Joseph does. |
| [12:39.040] | Okay? If you try to pull something... |
| [12:41.510] | ... he'll call you on it. … |
| [12:43.670] | "What are you trying to pull?" he'll say. |
| [12:51.580] | Duct tape. |
| [12:56.390] | This is for the scratchy twins. I taped oven mitts to their hands. |
| [13:01.430] | You're strict. |
| [13:03.090] | Well,it's for their own good. |
| [13:05.200] | You know,I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. |
| [13:10.030] | See,in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time. |
| [13:15.770] | Exactly! |
| [13:18.080] | God,I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. |
| [13:22.810] | Tell me the truth. |
| [13:24.080] | Don't you like having everything on your desk perpendicular? |
| [13:27.490] | If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle. |
| [13:31.590] | -Very good. -Thank you. |
| [13:32.920] | Tomorrow,I'm gonna do your clocks. |
| [13:36.560] | You're gonna do what to my clocks? |
| [13:38.730] | Set them to my time. |
| [13:42.670] | I'm confused. |
| [13:47.100] | No. See,in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. |
| [13:51.680] | Wanna know why? |
| [13:52.810] | Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen? |
| [13:57.520] | Forget it. |
| [13:58.750] | No,come on,tell me. |
| [14:00.280] | -You don't understand. -Come on. |
| [14:02.290] | You don't have any obsessive things. |
| [14:04.520] | No,that's not true. |
| [14:06.590] | Oh,yeah? Tell me one of yours. |
| [14:15.670] | One of my things is I always separate my sweat socks... |
| [14:20.470] | ...from my dress socks. … |
| [14:25.810] | What if they get mixed up? |
| [14:27.550] | Boy,I would just.... |
| [14:30.550] | I would freak out. |
| [14:34.020] | You would not. |
| [14:35.720] | I can't believe this. I hate this. You're too normal. |
| [14:39.520] | I can't believe you don't have a "thing." |
| [14:41.830] | My boyfriend doesn't have a "thing." |
| [14:44.630] | See,if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well. |
| [14:57.070] | -Mr. Douglas is looking for you. -Why is Mr. Douglas looking for me? |
| [15:02.580] | He suspects you dropped the ball on the Lender project. |
| [15:07.020] | Why? Why does he suspect that? |
| [15:10.690] | At first,he thought it was Joseph... |
| [15:13.220] | ...but after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. … |
| [15:18.830] | -Anyway,I thought you should know. -All right. That's it. |
| [15:22.500] | Look,Joey... |
| [15:24.000] | ... I realize this is the role of a lifetime for you... … |
| [15:27.070] | ...and if I could just fire Joseph, I would. But that's not possible. … |
| [15:31.440] | So I have to let you both go. |
| [15:35.250] | What? Everybody loves Joseph. |
| [15:37.510] | I don't. I hate Joseph. |
| [15:40.890] | I think he's a brown-nosing suck-up. |
| [15:45.520] | You can't fire Joseph. He's not in your department. |
| [15:53.900] | All right,okay. So I can't fire Joseph... |
| [15:57.770] | ... but I can sleep with his wife. … |
| [16:02.940] | Not Karen! |
| [16:04.110] | Yeah,I'm thinking about having an affair with her. |
| [16:07.610] | You know what? |
| [16:09.650] | I just did. |
| [16:14.080] | What the hell are you doing? |
| [16:16.050] | Oh,it's not me. |
| [16:17.550] | It's my character! |
| [16:19.820] | Chandie. |
| [16:22.160] | The rogue processor who seduces his coworkers' wives... |
| [16:25.660] | ...and then laughs about it. … |
| [16:27.900] | In fact,I have her panties right there in my drawer! |
| [16:31.570] | -Really? -No,freak show,she's fictional! |
| [16:35.640] | Take it easy. |
| [16:37.240] | If it means that much to you, I'll go find something else. |
| [16:42.650] | Thank you. |
| [16:45.820] | It's just that I'm gonna miss Joseph. |
| [16:50.000] | I liked him. His wife. |
| [16:52.490] | She was hot. |
| [16:58.760] | Please take these off. I swear I won't scratch. |
| [17:01.670] | No,sorry,hon. Monica's orders. |
| [17:05.800] | Well,that wasn't easy. |
| [17:09.270] | Okay,dinner's on. |
| [17:11.840] | There's a peach cobbler warming in the oven. |
| [17:14.310] | So the plate's gonna be hot,but that shouldn't be a problem for you. |
| [17:20.180] | All right,you kids. Bye,now. |
| [17:22.290] | -Bye. -Oh,look,look. |
| [17:24.320] | A low-budget puppet show. |
| [17:28.330] | A shame you can't see what finger I'm holding up. |
| [17:35.830] | -Wine? -Please. |
| [17:47.850] | -Spilled some. -I got it. |
| [18:01.930] | You look beautiful tonight. |
| [18:04.500] | What? |
| [18:07.430] | Sorry. |
| [18:11.570] | You look beautiful. |
| [18:29.750] | You know what? That's it. That's it. |
| [18:40.130] | Oh,yes. |
| [18:43.430] | Good. |
| [18:50.040] | You guys,did you? |
| [19:01.250] | Monica... |
| [19:02.320] | ...wake up. … |
| [19:04.720] | What's up? |
| [19:06.160] | I thought of a thing. |
| [19:11.860] | Yeah? |
| [19:14.470] | I have to sleep,have to, on this side of the bed. |
| [19:20.640] | No. You have to sleep on this side of the bed... |
| [19:23.910] | ... because I have to sleep on this side of the bed. … |
| [19:28.750] | Or so I would have you believe. |
| [19:34.620] | So you have a side of the bed. Everybody has a side of the bed. |
| [19:38.690] | Hey,come on. You haven't heard my reason yet. |
| [19:42.000] | All right,go on. |
| [19:45.100] | I have to sleep on the west side... |
| [19:47.600] | ... because I grew up in California... … |
| [19:50.930] | ...and otherwise... … |
| [19:53.040] | ...the ocean would be on the wrong side. … |
| [20:01.150] | Oh,my God. |
| [20:02.680] | You're a freak! |
| [20:05.620] | How about that? |
| [20:11.520] | Where're you shipping off to? |
| [20:13.390] | I really can't say. |
| [20:14.790] | Do you have nuclear weapons onboard? |
| [20:17.730] | I can't say. |
| [20:19.160] | Do you get to look through a periscope thingy? |
| [20:22.170] | I'm sorry,but I can't say. |
| [20:24.230] | Wow,it's neat learning about submarines. |
| [20:27.910] | -I better not miss my flight. -I'll walk you out. |
| [20:39.050] | So do you think we could get you one of those uniform things? |
| [20:44.820] | You like that,do you? |
| [20:46.690] | Oh,yeah. |
| [20:48.160] | I'll make some calls. |
| [20:52.030] | Can you believe that's how we spent our two weeks? |
| [20:54.700] | We didn't do the romantic things I'd planned... |
| [20:56.730] | ...Iike having a picnic in Central Park and coffee at Central Perk. … |
| [21:01.570] | Oh,I just got that! |
| [21:12.420] | Taxi! |
| [21:19.860] | Bye,you. |
| [21:34.370] | I'm sorry,we're |
| [21:39.310] | Hey,sailor. |
| [21:40.710] | Is this what you had in mind? |
| [21:43.910] | I'll say. |
| [21:50.820] | I'm shipping out tomorrow. |
| [21:53.360] | Well,then... |
| [21:56.930] | ...we better make this night count. … |
| [22:01.270] | Wait,I forgot to turn off the cappuccino machine. |
| [22:12.840] | Anchors aweigh. |
| [22:16.780] | Oh,wait,wait! My purse,my purse! |
| [22:25.260] | I forgot to turn off the bathroom light. |
| [22:28.060] | Why don't I just meet you upstairs? |
| [22:35.130] | Honey! |
| [00:02.510] | Chandler, Mon, there' s only one banananut muffin left. |
| [00:05.920] | I ordered mine first. |
| [00:07.350] | Yeah, but I' m so much faster. |
| [00:10.820] | Give it to me. |
| [00:12.220] | No. |
| [00:13.690] | Give it to me! |
| [00:15.730] | Okay, you can have it. |
| [00:25.400] | There you go. Enjoy your coffee. |
| [00:28.910] | That was there when I got here. |
| [00:33.910] | Hey, you' ll never guess who' s coming to New York. |
| [00:37.750] | Quick, tell us before he swallows. |
| [00:40.250] | Ryan, that guy I dated who' s in the Navy. |
| [00:46.290] | I met him while playing guitar in the park. |
| [00:52.500] | Is that when you wrote " Saltwater Taffy Man"? |
| [00:57.500] | No, he' s my submarine guy. He resurfaces every couple years... |
| [01:01.470] | ... and we have an amazing three days together. |
| [01:04.340] | Only this time, he' s coming for 2 weeks. Two whole weeks, which means " yea"! |
| [01:10.780] | So this guy goes down for, like, two years at a time? |
| [01:17.490] | That' ll teach you to lick my muffin. |
| [01:24.160] | Hi. |
| [01:26.360] | Oh, no. What happened? |
| [01:27.800] | I just spoke to Carol. Ben' s got chickenpox. |
| [01:30.470] | Oh, no. |
| [01:31.670] | Yeah, so if you haven' t had it, chances are you' ll get it. |
| [01:35.210] | I' ve had it. I' ve had it. |
| [01:37.140] | Had it. Had it. |
| [01:38.340] | I' ve never had it. I feel so left out. Oh, look! |
| [01:45.380] | The One With the Chicken Pox |
| [01:55.870] | |
| [02:35.770] | Honey, you made the bed again. |
| [02:38.740] | I told you, you don' t have to do that. This isn' t camp. |
| [02:42.210] | Then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. |
| [02:47.880] | I' m taking a shower. Today I' ll sing Jim Croce' s " Leroy Brown." |
| [03:04.560] | Hey, Mon, I have a question. |
| [03:07.300] | Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town... |
| [03:10.440] | ... or the fattest man? |
| [03:13.400] | The baddest. Otherwise, the song would be " Fat, Fat Leroy Brown." |
| [03:18.340] | What are you doing? |
| [03:21.250] | I' m just waiting for you, sweetie. |
| [03:26.580] | Are you remaking the bed? |
| [03:29.490] | I' m sorry. The way you did it, it was just fine. |
| [03:32.920] | Then you' re redoing it because...? |
| [03:35.530] | You' ll think I' m crazy. |
| [03:37.430] | You' re pretty much running that risk either way. |
| [03:42.030] | Okay. You see... |
| [03:44.540] | ... the duvet tag shouldn' t be at the top left corner... |
| [03:47.710] | ... it should be at the bottom right corner. |
| [03:51.280] | That' s not so crazy. I' m just easing you in. |
| [03:54.550] | All right. |
| [03:56.310] | You see these little flower blossoms? |
| [03:58.650] | They should be facing up not down... |
| [04:00.890] | ... because the head of the bed is where the sun would be. |
| [04:08.390] | You don' t love me anymore, do you? |
| [04:12.560] | Actually, if it' s possible, I love you more. |
| [04:16.330] | Really? |
| [04:19.240] | Wow. Well, then, come on! |
| [04:21.540] | I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point. |
| [04:29.150] | If you need something to hold you over... |
| [04:31.380] | ... I can get you a job here as an entrylevel processor. |
| [04:34.490] | Don' t you need experience? |
| [04:36.550] | It' s not hard to learn. |
| [04:38.160] | As for people realizing you don' t know what you' re doing, you' re an actor. |
| [04:42.090] | Act like a processor, people will think you' re a processor. |
| [04:47.000] | Here' s this morning' s projections. |
| [04:49.530] | Thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbiani. |
| [04:52.570] | Joey is a fellow processor. |
| [04:55.870] | No kidding? |
| [05:00.880] | I process. People want the processing, I' m the one they call. |
| [05:06.120] | Where do you work? Well, I' m in between things. |
| [05:09.620] | You know, one day you' re processing, the next day... |
| [05:13.190] | ... you' re not so much processing anymore. |
| [05:16.130] | I told Joey about the opening in Fleischman' s group. |
| [05:18.800] | Fleischman' s group. |
| [05:20.630] | Whatever you do, don' t touch his sandwiches. |
| [05:26.940] | Are all you processors dorks? |
| [05:35.210] | This lipstick looks just great on you. |
| [05:38.580] | You look fabulous. You really do. |
| [05:40.790] | Yeah, are you sure? Really? |
| [05:45.490] | See, you look beautiful. For God sakes, dim the lights. |
| [05:50.930] | I' m hideous! |
| [05:52.630] | It' s gonna be okay. |
| [05:54.270] | Ryan' s been underwater. |
| [05:56.000] | He' s just gonna be glad you don' t have barnacles on your butt. |
| [06:12.180] | Come in. |
| [06:14.590] | Hey, baby, I' m back |
| [06:16.320] | Hey, Ryan. What' s up? |
| [06:21.090] | What' s going on? |
| [06:22.330] | No, no. You have to stay back. |
| [06:25.330] | I have the pox! |
| [06:29.500] | Chicken or small? |
| [06:40.880] | Please tell me you have, because oh, my God, I forgot how cute you are. |
| [06:46.350] | I' m sorry, I never had them. |
| [06:50.860] | If I had one wish, I' d go back to when I was 7... |
| [06:54.530] | ... when Jimmy Hauser had chickenpox, and rub that kid all over my face. |
| [06:59.630] | Yeah, or you could wish that I didn' t have them now. |
| [07:03.530] | Can I see your face? |
| [07:05.000] | No. You don' t wanna see a face covered with pox. |
| [07:08.040] | It could be lox, I wouldn' t care. |
| [07:11.710] | And you hate fish. |
| [07:15.380] | So sweet. All right. |
| [07:17.350] | Okay, all right. You can see. |
| [07:20.490] | This is me. |
| [07:27.260] | Sorry! |
| [07:29.230] | I am scary! |
| [07:30.700] | The lightening was an unfortunate coincidence. |
| [07:35.370] | You look lovely! Lovely! |
| [07:37.540] | I hate this. |
| [07:39.270] | I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us. |
| [07:42.540] | And everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this. |
| [07:53.280] | ... thinking about this moment. |
| [07:56.050] | I am not gonna let a bunch... |
| [07:58.760] | ... of itchy spots stand between us. |
| [08:08.400] | Okay. This is the most romantic disease I' ve ever had. |
| [08:18.640] | How' s the first day? Good. It' s like you said. |
| [08:21.550] | It' s putting numbers from one column into another. |
| [08:24.720] | There you go. |
| [08:34.660] | Turns out our kids go to the same school. |
| [08:40.330] | Yeah. Small world, huh? |
| [08:43.470] | Weird world. |
| [08:45.870] | Your kids? |
| [08:47.170] | I figure my character has kids. |
| [08:55.410] | When you' re acting, you need to think about that stuff. |
| [08:58.620] | My character, Joseph the processing guy... |
| [09:02.120] | ... has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. |
| [09:06.920] | Ashley copies everything Brittany does. |
| [09:14.830] | Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes. |
| [09:19.540] | You know, Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid. |
| [09:24.210] | You know what? |
| [09:26.340] | Just did. |
| [09:29.010] | That' s some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there. |
| [09:43.430] | IKnow what makes the itching worse? |
| [09:45.830] | That you don' t stop talking about it? |
| [09:49.570] | Fine. Let' s just play, okay? |
| [09:52.570] | Good, okay. |
| [09:53.870] | Here we go, double sixes. |
| [09:56.410] | Here we go.... |
| [09:59.740] | Here we go.... |
| [10:04.780] | What are you doing? Are you scratching? |
| [10:07.120] | No. This is what I do for luck, okay? |
| [10:11.020] | You' re scratching. |
| [10:12.690] | Give me the dice. |
| [10:14.090] | Give me the dice. No! Here. There! |
| [10:16.860] | Look, double sixes! |
| [10:19.900] | We can' t scratch. We' ll scar. |
| [10:22.530] | I can' t stop thinking about it. It' s just so hard. |
| [10:26.470] | I wanna grab these houses and rub them all over my body. |
| [10:30.040] | No! Give it! |
| [10:31.810] | Come on! |
| [10:33.310] | You know you want it. You know you want it too. |
| [10:36.250] | Let' s just be bad. It' ll feel so good. |
| [10:41.720] | Oh, God, help me. |
| [10:45.460] | Oh, yeah. Okay, good. Now do me. |
| [10:47.630] | Do my back. Oh, come on. Harder! |
| [10:50.660] | There you go. |
| [10:51.800] | Don' t move. Why? |
| [10:52.930] | Don' t move. What are you...? |
| [10:59.100] | Stop that. Stop that right now. |
| [11:01.910] | I might' ve expected this of Phoebe. But, Ryan, you' re a military man. |
| [11:10.620] | You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Bring the kids. |
| [11:14.590] | We' ll make a day of it. |
| [11:16.250] | That sounds lovely. We' ll have to set it up. |
| [11:19.160] | I better get back. Hope the baby feels better. |
| [11:22.090] | Thanks. |
| [11:24.000] | Byebye, Jeannie. Byebye, Joseph. |
| [11:26.760] | What a phony. |
| [11:31.300] | You' ll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. |
| [11:36.440] | Hey, Mr. Douglas. Sir. |
| [11:38.380] | Bing, I got your memo. We' re not gonna see the report until next Friday? |
| [11:45.850] | I have a family. I' m gonna be here. |
| [11:48.850] | Yeah, Bing. What' s that about? |
| [11:56.000] | It' s about cutting them a little slack for morale. |
| [11:59.330] | Look, I can get some rough numbers by Wednesday. |
| [12:02.370] | Rough numbers? |
| [12:05.500] | This company wasn' t built on rough numbers. Right, Mr. Douglas? |
| [12:10.140] | Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday. |
| [12:13.180] | If you say so, sir. |
| [12:16.080] | Joseph' s good, isn' t he? |
| [12:20.250] | I' m going to kill you. |
| [12:23.020] | Hey, I just figured Joseph' s the kind of guy who likes to mix it up. |
| [12:27.660] | You know, get in there, ruffle some feathers. |
| [12:32.100] | Why? |
| [12:35.270] | Look, I' m sorry, but that' s what Joseph does. |
| [12:39.040] | Okay? If you try to pull something... |
| [12:41.510] | ... he' ll call you on it. |
| [12:43.670] | " What are you trying to pull?" he' ll say. |
| [12:51.580] | Duct tape. |
| [12:56.390] | This is for the scratchy twins. I taped oven mitts to their hands. |
| [13:01.430] | You' re strict. |
| [13:03.090] | Well, it' s for their own good. |
| [13:05.200] | You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. |
| [13:10.030] | See, in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time. |
| [13:15.770] | Exactly! |
| [13:18.080] | God, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. |
| [13:22.810] | Tell me the truth. |
| [13:24.080] | Don' t you like having everything on your desk perpendicular? |
| [13:27.490] | If it' s not a right angle, it is a wrong angle. |
| [13:31.590] | Very good. Thank you. |
| [13:32.920] | Tomorrow, I' m gonna do your clocks. |
| [13:36.560] | You' re gonna do what to my clocks? |
| [13:38.730] | Set them to my time. |
| [13:42.670] | I' m confused. |
| [13:47.100] | No. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. |
| [13:51.680] | Wanna know why? |
| [13:52.810] | Because it' s in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen? |
| [13:57.520] | Forget it. |
| [13:58.750] | No, come on, tell me. |
| [14:00.280] | You don' t understand. Come on. |
| [14:02.290] | You don' t have any obsessive things. |
| [14:04.520] | No, that' s not true. |
| [14:06.590] | Oh, yeah? Tell me one of yours. |
| [14:15.670] | One of my things is I always separate my sweat socks... |
| [14:20.470] | ... from my dress socks. |
| [14:25.810] | What if they get mixed up? |
| [14:27.550] | Boy, I would just.... |
| [14:30.550] | I would freak out. |
| [14:34.020] | You would not. |
| [14:35.720] | I can' t believe this. I hate this. You' re too normal. |
| [14:39.520] | I can' t believe you don' t have a " thing." |
| [14:41.830] | My boyfriend doesn' t have a " thing." |
| [14:44.630] | See, if anyone overheard that, I didn' t come off well. |
| [14:57.070] | Mr. Douglas is looking for you. Why is Mr. Douglas looking for me? |
| [15:02.580] | He suspects you dropped the ball on the Lender project. |
| [15:07.020] | Why? Why does he suspect that? |
| [15:10.690] | At first, he thought it was Joseph... |
| [15:13.220] | ... but after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. |
| [15:18.830] | Anyway, I thought you should know. All right. That' s it. |
| [15:22.500] | Look, Joey... |
| [15:24.000] | ... I realize this is the role of a lifetime for you... |
| [15:27.070] | ... and if I could just fire Joseph, I would. But that' s not possible. |
| [15:31.440] | So I have to let you both go. |
| [15:35.250] | What? Everybody loves Joseph. |
| [15:37.510] | I don' t. I hate Joseph. |
| [15:40.890] | I think he' s a brownnosing suckup. |
| [15:45.520] | You can' t fire Joseph. He' s not in your department. |
| [15:53.900] | All right, okay. So I can' t fire Joseph... |
| [15:57.770] | ... but I can sleep with his wife. |
| [16:02.940] | Not Karen! |
| [16:04.110] | Yeah, I' m thinking about having an affair with her. |
| [16:07.610] | You know what? |
| [16:09.650] | I just did. |
| [16:14.080] | What the hell are you doing? |
| [16:16.050] | Oh, it' s not me. |
| [16:17.550] | It' s my character! |
| [16:19.820] | Chandie. |
| [16:22.160] | The rogue processor who seduces his coworkers' wives... |
| [16:25.660] | ... and then laughs about it. |
| [16:27.900] | In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer! |
| [16:31.570] | Really? No, freak show, she' s fictional! |
| [16:35.640] | Take it easy. |
| [16:37.240] | If it means that much to you, I' ll go find something else. |
| [16:42.650] | Thank you. |
| [16:45.820] | It' s just that I' m gonna miss Joseph. |
| [16:50.000] | I liked him. His wife. |
| [16:52.490] | She was hot. |
| [16:58.760] | Please take these off. I swear I won' t scratch. |
| [17:01.670] | No, sorry, hon. Monica' s orders. |
| [17:05.800] | Well, that wasn' t easy. |
| [17:09.270] | Okay, dinner' s on. |
| [17:11.840] | There' s a peach cobbler warming in the oven. |
| [17:14.310] | So the plate' s gonna be hot, but that shouldn' t be a problem for you. |
| [17:20.180] | All right, you kids. Bye, now. |
| [17:22.290] | Bye. Oh, look, look. |
| [17:24.320] | A lowbudget puppet show. |
| [17:28.330] | A shame you can' t see what finger I' m holding up. |
| [17:35.830] | Wine? Please. |
| [17:47.850] | Spilled some. I got it. |
| [18:01.930] | You look beautiful tonight. |
| [18:04.500] | What? |
| [18:07.430] | Sorry. |
| [18:11.570] | You look beautiful. |
| [18:29.750] | You know what? That' s it. That' s it. |
| [18:40.130] | Oh, yes. |
| [18:43.430] | Good. |
| [18:50.040] | You guys, did you? |
| [19:01.250] | Monica... |
| [19:02.320] | ... wake up. |
| [19:04.720] | What' s up? |
| [19:06.160] | I thought of a thing. |
| [19:11.860] | Yeah? |
| [19:14.470] | I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed. |
| [19:20.640] | No. You have to sleep on this side of the bed... |
| [19:23.910] | ... because I have to sleep on this side of the bed. |
| [19:28.750] | Or so I would have you believe. |
| [19:34.620] | So you have a side of the bed. Everybody has a side of the bed. |
| [19:38.690] | Hey, come on. You haven' t heard my reason yet. |
| [19:42.000] | All right, go on. |
| [19:45.100] | I have to sleep on the west side... |
| [19:47.600] | ... because I grew up in California... |
| [19:50.930] | ... and otherwise... |
| [19:53.040] | ... the ocean would be on the wrong side. |
| [20:01.150] | Oh, my God. |
| [20:02.680] | You' re a freak! |
| [20:05.620] | How about that? |
| [20:11.520] | Where' re you shipping off to? |
| [20:13.390] | I really can' t say. |
| [20:14.790] | Do you have nuclear weapons onboard? |
| [20:17.730] | I can' t say. |
| [20:19.160] | Do you get to look through a periscope thingy? |
| [20:22.170] | I' m sorry, but I can' t say. |
| [20:24.230] | Wow, it' s neat learning about submarines. |
| [20:27.910] | I better not miss my flight. I' ll walk you out. |
| [20:39.050] | So do you think we could get you one of those uniform things? |
| [20:44.820] | You like that, do you? |
| [20:46.690] | Oh, yeah. |
| [20:48.160] | I' ll make some calls. |
| [20:52.030] | Can you believe that' s how we spent our two weeks? |
| [20:54.700] | We didn' t do the romantic things I' d planned... |
| [20:56.730] | ... Iike having a picnic in Central Park and coffee at Central Perk. |
| [21:01.570] | Oh, I just got that! |
| [21:12.420] | Taxi! |
| [21:19.860] | Bye, you. |
| [21:34.370] | I' m sorry, we' re |
| [21:39.310] | Hey, sailor. |
| [21:40.710] | Is this what you had in mind? |
| [21:43.910] | I' ll say. |
| [21:50.820] | I' m shipping out tomorrow. |
| [21:53.360] | Well, then... |
| [21:56.930] | ... we better make this night count. |
| [22:01.270] | Wait, I forgot to turn off the cappuccino machine. |
| [22:12.840] | Anchors aweigh. |
| [22:16.780] | Oh, wait, wait! My purse, my purse! |
| [22:25.260] | I forgot to turn off the bathroom light. |
| [22:28.060] | Why don' t I just meet you upstairs? |
| [22:35.130] | Honey! |
| [00:02.510] | Chandler, Mon, there' s only one banananut muffin left. |
| [00:05.920] | I ordered mine first. |
| [00:07.350] | Yeah, but I' m so much faster. |
| [00:10.820] | Give it to me. |
| [00:12.220] | No. |
| [00:13.690] | Give it to me! |
| [00:15.730] | Okay, you can have it. |
| [00:25.400] | There you go. Enjoy your coffee. |
| [00:28.910] | That was there when I got here. |
| [00:33.910] | Hey, you' ll never guess who' s coming to New York. |
| [00:37.750] | Quick, tell us before he swallows. |
| [00:40.250] | Ryan, that guy I dated who' s in the Navy. |
| [00:46.290] | I met him while playing guitar in the park. |
| [00:52.500] | Is that when you wrote " Saltwater Taffy Man"? |
| [00:57.500] | No, he' s my submarine guy. He resurfaces every couple years... |
| [01:01.470] | ... and we have an amazing three days together. |
| [01:04.340] | Only this time, he' s coming for 2 weeks. Two whole weeks, which means " yea"! |
| [01:10.780] | So this guy goes down for, like, two years at a time? |
| [01:17.490] | That' ll teach you to lick my muffin. |
| [01:24.160] | Hi. |
| [01:26.360] | Oh, no. What happened? |
| [01:27.800] | I just spoke to Carol. Ben' s got chickenpox. |
| [01:30.470] | Oh, no. |
| [01:31.670] | Yeah, so if you haven' t had it, chances are you' ll get it. |
| [01:35.210] | I' ve had it. I' ve had it. |
| [01:37.140] | Had it. Had it. |
| [01:38.340] | I' ve never had it. I feel so left out. Oh, look! |
| [01:45.380] | The One With the Chicken Pox |
| [01:55.870] | |
| [02:35.770] | Honey, you made the bed again. |
| [02:38.740] | I told you, you don' t have to do that. This isn' t camp. |
| [02:42.210] | Then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. |
| [02:47.880] | I' m taking a shower. Today I' ll sing Jim Croce' s " Leroy Brown." |
| [03:04.560] | Hey, Mon, I have a question. |
| [03:07.300] | Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town... |
| [03:10.440] | ... or the fattest man? |
| [03:13.400] | The baddest. Otherwise, the song would be " Fat, Fat Leroy Brown." |
| [03:18.340] | What are you doing? |
| [03:21.250] | I' m just waiting for you, sweetie. |
| [03:26.580] | Are you remaking the bed? |
| [03:29.490] | I' m sorry. The way you did it, it was just fine. |
| [03:32.920] | Then you' re redoing it because...? |
| [03:35.530] | You' ll think I' m crazy. |
| [03:37.430] | You' re pretty much running that risk either way. |
| [03:42.030] | Okay. You see... |
| [03:44.540] | ... the duvet tag shouldn' t be at the top left corner... |
| [03:47.710] | ... it should be at the bottom right corner. |
| [03:51.280] | That' s not so crazy. I' m just easing you in. |
| [03:54.550] | All right. |
| [03:56.310] | You see these little flower blossoms? |
| [03:58.650] | They should be facing up not down... |
| [04:00.890] | ... because the head of the bed is where the sun would be. |
| [04:08.390] | You don' t love me anymore, do you? |
| [04:12.560] | Actually, if it' s possible, I love you more. |
| [04:16.330] | Really? |
| [04:19.240] | Wow. Well, then, come on! |
| [04:21.540] | I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point. |
| [04:29.150] | If you need something to hold you over... |
| [04:31.380] | ... I can get you a job here as an entrylevel processor. |
| [04:34.490] | Don' t you need experience? |
| [04:36.550] | It' s not hard to learn. |
| [04:38.160] | As for people realizing you don' t know what you' re doing, you' re an actor. |
| [04:42.090] | Act like a processor, people will think you' re a processor. |
| [04:47.000] | Here' s this morning' s projections. |
| [04:49.530] | Thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbiani. |
| [04:52.570] | Joey is a fellow processor. |
| [04:55.870] | No kidding? |
| [05:00.880] | I process. People want the processing, I' m the one they call. |
| [05:06.120] | Where do you work? Well, I' m in between things. |
| [05:09.620] | You know, one day you' re processing, the next day... |
| [05:13.190] | ... you' re not so much processing anymore. |
| [05:16.130] | I told Joey about the opening in Fleischman' s group. |
| [05:18.800] | Fleischman' s group. |
| [05:20.630] | Whatever you do, don' t touch his sandwiches. |
| [05:26.940] | Are all you processors dorks? |
| [05:35.210] | This lipstick looks just great on you. |
| [05:38.580] | You look fabulous. You really do. |
| [05:40.790] | Yeah, are you sure? Really? |
| [05:45.490] | See, you look beautiful. For God sakes, dim the lights. |
| [05:50.930] | I' m hideous! |
| [05:52.630] | It' s gonna be okay. |
| [05:54.270] | Ryan' s been underwater. |
| [05:56.000] | He' s just gonna be glad you don' t have barnacles on your butt. |
| [06:12.180] | Come in. |
| [06:14.590] | Hey, baby, I' m back |
| [06:16.320] | Hey, Ryan. What' s up? |
| [06:21.090] | What' s going on? |
| [06:22.330] | No, no. You have to stay back. |
| [06:25.330] | I have the pox! |
| [06:29.500] | Chicken or small? |
| [06:40.880] | Please tell me you have, because oh, my God, I forgot how cute you are. |
| [06:46.350] | I' m sorry, I never had them. |
| [06:50.860] | If I had one wish, I' d go back to when I was 7... |
| [06:54.530] | ... when Jimmy Hauser had chickenpox, and rub that kid all over my face. |
| [06:59.630] | Yeah, or you could wish that I didn' t have them now. |
| [07:03.530] | Can I see your face? |
| [07:05.000] | No. You don' t wanna see a face covered with pox. |
| [07:08.040] | It could be lox, I wouldn' t care. |
| [07:11.710] | And you hate fish. |
| [07:15.380] | So sweet. All right. |
| [07:17.350] | Okay, all right. You can see. |
| [07:20.490] | This is me. |
| [07:27.260] | Sorry! |
| [07:29.230] | I am scary! |
| [07:30.700] | The lightening was an unfortunate coincidence. |
| [07:35.370] | You look lovely! Lovely! |
| [07:37.540] | I hate this. |
| [07:39.270] | I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us. |
| [07:42.540] | And everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this. |
| [07:53.280] | ... thinking about this moment. |
| [07:56.050] | I am not gonna let a bunch... |
| [07:58.760] | ... of itchy spots stand between us. |
| [08:08.400] | Okay. This is the most romantic disease I' ve ever had. |
| [08:18.640] | How' s the first day? Good. It' s like you said. |
| [08:21.550] | It' s putting numbers from one column into another. |
| [08:24.720] | There you go. |
| [08:34.660] | Turns out our kids go to the same school. |
| [08:40.330] | Yeah. Small world, huh? |
| [08:43.470] | Weird world. |
| [08:45.870] | Your kids? |
| [08:47.170] | I figure my character has kids. |
| [08:55.410] | When you' re acting, you need to think about that stuff. |
| [08:58.620] | My character, Joseph the processing guy... |
| [09:02.120] | ... has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. |
| [09:06.920] | Ashley copies everything Brittany does. |
| [09:14.830] | Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes. |
| [09:19.540] | You know, Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid. |
| [09:24.210] | You know what? |
| [09:26.340] | Just did. |
| [09:29.010] | That' s some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there. |
| [09:43.430] | IKnow what makes the itching worse? |
| [09:45.830] | That you don' t stop talking about it? |
| [09:49.570] | Fine. Let' s just play, okay? |
| [09:52.570] | Good, okay. |
| [09:53.870] | Here we go, double sixes. |
| [09:56.410] | Here we go.... |
| [09:59.740] | Here we go.... |
| [10:04.780] | What are you doing? Are you scratching? |
| [10:07.120] | No. This is what I do for luck, okay? |
| [10:11.020] | You' re scratching. |
| [10:12.690] | Give me the dice. |
| [10:14.090] | Give me the dice. No! Here. There! |
| [10:16.860] | Look, double sixes! |
| [10:19.900] | We can' t scratch. We' ll scar. |
| [10:22.530] | I can' t stop thinking about it. It' s just so hard. |
| [10:26.470] | I wanna grab these houses and rub them all over my body. |
| [10:30.040] | No! Give it! |
| [10:31.810] | Come on! |
| [10:33.310] | You know you want it. You know you want it too. |
| [10:36.250] | Let' s just be bad. It' ll feel so good. |
| [10:41.720] | Oh, God, help me. |
| [10:45.460] | Oh, yeah. Okay, good. Now do me. |
| [10:47.630] | Do my back. Oh, come on. Harder! |
| [10:50.660] | There you go. |
| [10:51.800] | Don' t move. Why? |
| [10:52.930] | Don' t move. What are you...? |
| [10:59.100] | Stop that. Stop that right now. |
| [11:01.910] | I might' ve expected this of Phoebe. But, Ryan, you' re a military man. |
| [11:10.620] | You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Bring the kids. |
| [11:14.590] | We' ll make a day of it. |
| [11:16.250] | That sounds lovely. We' ll have to set it up. |
| [11:19.160] | I better get back. Hope the baby feels better. |
| [11:22.090] | Thanks. |
| [11:24.000] | Byebye, Jeannie. Byebye, Joseph. |
| [11:26.760] | What a phony. |
| [11:31.300] | You' ll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing. |
| [11:36.440] | Hey, Mr. Douglas. Sir. |
| [11:38.380] | Bing, I got your memo. We' re not gonna see the report until next Friday? |
| [11:45.850] | I have a family. I' m gonna be here. |
| [11:48.850] | Yeah, Bing. What' s that about? |
| [11:56.000] | It' s about cutting them a little slack for morale. |
| [11:59.330] | Look, I can get some rough numbers by Wednesday. |
| [12:02.370] | Rough numbers? |
| [12:05.500] | This company wasn' t built on rough numbers. Right, Mr. Douglas? |
| [12:10.140] | Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday. |
| [12:13.180] | If you say so, sir. |
| [12:16.080] | Joseph' s good, isn' t he? |
| [12:20.250] | I' m going to kill you. |
| [12:23.020] | Hey, I just figured Joseph' s the kind of guy who likes to mix it up. |
| [12:27.660] | You know, get in there, ruffle some feathers. |
| [12:32.100] | Why? |
| [12:35.270] | Look, I' m sorry, but that' s what Joseph does. |
| [12:39.040] | Okay? If you try to pull something... |
| [12:41.510] | ... he' ll call you on it. |
| [12:43.670] | " What are you trying to pull?" he' ll say. |
| [12:51.580] | Duct tape. |
| [12:56.390] | This is for the scratchy twins. I taped oven mitts to their hands. |
| [13:01.430] | You' re strict. |
| [13:03.090] | Well, it' s for their own good. |
| [13:05.200] | You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. |
| [13:10.030] | See, in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time. |
| [13:15.770] | Exactly! |
| [13:18.080] | God, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. |
| [13:22.810] | Tell me the truth. |
| [13:24.080] | Don' t you like having everything on your desk perpendicular? |
| [13:27.490] | If it' s not a right angle, it is a wrong angle. |
| [13:31.590] | Very good. Thank you. |
| [13:32.920] | Tomorrow, I' m gonna do your clocks. |
| [13:36.560] | You' re gonna do what to my clocks? |
| [13:38.730] | Set them to my time. |
| [13:42.670] | I' m confused. |
| [13:47.100] | No. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. |
| [13:51.680] | Wanna know why? |
| [13:52.810] | Because it' s in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen? |
| [13:57.520] | Forget it. |
| [13:58.750] | No, come on, tell me. |
| [14:00.280] | You don' t understand. Come on. |
| [14:02.290] | You don' t have any obsessive things. |
| [14:04.520] | No, that' s not true. |
| [14:06.590] | Oh, yeah? Tell me one of yours. |
| [14:15.670] | One of my things is I always separate my sweat socks... |
| [14:20.470] | ... from my dress socks. |
| [14:25.810] | What if they get mixed up? |
| [14:27.550] | Boy, I would just.... |
| [14:30.550] | I would freak out. |
| [14:34.020] | You would not. |
| [14:35.720] | I can' t believe this. I hate this. You' re too normal. |
| [14:39.520] | I can' t believe you don' t have a " thing." |
| [14:41.830] | My boyfriend doesn' t have a " thing." |
| [14:44.630] | See, if anyone overheard that, I didn' t come off well. |
| [14:57.070] | Mr. Douglas is looking for you. Why is Mr. Douglas looking for me? |
| [15:02.580] | He suspects you dropped the ball on the Lender project. |
| [15:07.020] | Why? Why does he suspect that? |
| [15:10.690] | At first, he thought it was Joseph... |
| [15:13.220] | ... but after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. |
| [15:18.830] | Anyway, I thought you should know. All right. That' s it. |
| [15:22.500] | Look, Joey... |
| [15:24.000] | ... I realize this is the role of a lifetime for you... |
| [15:27.070] | ... and if I could just fire Joseph, I would. But that' s not possible. |
| [15:31.440] | So I have to let you both go. |
| [15:35.250] | What? Everybody loves Joseph. |
| [15:37.510] | I don' t. I hate Joseph. |
| [15:40.890] | I think he' s a brownnosing suckup. |
| [15:45.520] | You can' t fire Joseph. He' s not in your department. |
| [15:53.900] | All right, okay. So I can' t fire Joseph... |
| [15:57.770] | ... but I can sleep with his wife. |
| [16:02.940] | Not Karen! |
| [16:04.110] | Yeah, I' m thinking about having an affair with her. |
| [16:07.610] | You know what? |
| [16:09.650] | I just did. |
| [16:14.080] | What the hell are you doing? |
| [16:16.050] | Oh, it' s not me. |
| [16:17.550] | It' s my character! |
| [16:19.820] | Chandie. |
| [16:22.160] | The rogue processor who seduces his coworkers' wives... |
| [16:25.660] | ... and then laughs about it. |
| [16:27.900] | In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer! |
| [16:31.570] | Really? No, freak show, she' s fictional! |
| [16:35.640] | Take it easy. |
| [16:37.240] | If it means that much to you, I' ll go find something else. |
| [16:42.650] | Thank you. |
| [16:45.820] | It' s just that I' m gonna miss Joseph. |
| [16:50.000] | I liked him. His wife. |
| [16:52.490] | She was hot. |
| [16:58.760] | Please take these off. I swear I won' t scratch. |
| [17:01.670] | No, sorry, hon. Monica' s orders. |
| [17:05.800] | Well, that wasn' t easy. |
| [17:09.270] | Okay, dinner' s on. |
| [17:11.840] | There' s a peach cobbler warming in the oven. |
| [17:14.310] | So the plate' s gonna be hot, but that shouldn' t be a problem for you. |
| [17:20.180] | All right, you kids. Bye, now. |
| [17:22.290] | Bye. Oh, look, look. |
| [17:24.320] | A lowbudget puppet show. |
| [17:28.330] | A shame you can' t see what finger I' m holding up. |
| [17:35.830] | Wine? Please. |
| [17:47.850] | Spilled some. I got it. |
| [18:01.930] | You look beautiful tonight. |
| [18:04.500] | What? |
| [18:07.430] | Sorry. |
| [18:11.570] | You look beautiful. |
| [18:29.750] | You know what? That' s it. That' s it. |
| [18:40.130] | Oh, yes. |
| [18:43.430] | Good. |
| [18:50.040] | You guys, did you? |
| [19:01.250] | Monica... |
| [19:02.320] | ... wake up. |
| [19:04.720] | What' s up? |
| [19:06.160] | I thought of a thing. |
| [19:11.860] | Yeah? |
| [19:14.470] | I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed. |
| [19:20.640] | No. You have to sleep on this side of the bed... |
| [19:23.910] | ... because I have to sleep on this side of the bed. |
| [19:28.750] | Or so I would have you believe. |
| [19:34.620] | So you have a side of the bed. Everybody has a side of the bed. |
| [19:38.690] | Hey, come on. You haven' t heard my reason yet. |
| [19:42.000] | All right, go on. |
| [19:45.100] | I have to sleep on the west side... |
| [19:47.600] | ... because I grew up in California... |
| [19:50.930] | ... and otherwise... |
| [19:53.040] | ... the ocean would be on the wrong side. |
| [20:01.150] | Oh, my God. |
| [20:02.680] | You' re a freak! |
| [20:05.620] | How about that? |
| [20:11.520] | Where' re you shipping off to? |
| [20:13.390] | I really can' t say. |
| [20:14.790] | Do you have nuclear weapons onboard? |
| [20:17.730] | I can' t say. |
| [20:19.160] | Do you get to look through a periscope thingy? |
| [20:22.170] | I' m sorry, but I can' t say. |
| [20:24.230] | Wow, it' s neat learning about submarines. |
| [20:27.910] | I better not miss my flight. I' ll walk you out. |
| [20:39.050] | So do you think we could get you one of those uniform things? |
| [20:44.820] | You like that, do you? |
| [20:46.690] | Oh, yeah. |
| [20:48.160] | I' ll make some calls. |
| [20:52.030] | Can you believe that' s how we spent our two weeks? |
| [20:54.700] | We didn' t do the romantic things I' d planned... |
| [20:56.730] | ... Iike having a picnic in Central Park and coffee at Central Perk. |
| [21:01.570] | Oh, I just got that! |
| [21:12.420] | Taxi! |
| [21:19.860] | Bye, you. |
| [21:34.370] | I' m sorry, we' re |
| [21:39.310] | Hey, sailor. |
| [21:40.710] | Is this what you had in mind? |
| [21:43.910] | I' ll say. |
| [21:50.820] | I' m shipping out tomorrow. |
| [21:53.360] | Well, then... |
| [21:56.930] | ... we better make this night count. |
| [22:01.270] | Wait, I forgot to turn off the cappuccino machine. |
| [22:12.840] | Anchors aweigh. |
| [22:16.780] | Oh, wait, wait! My purse, my purse! |
| [22:25.260] | I forgot to turn off the bathroom light. |
| [22:28.060] | Why don' t I just meet you upstairs? |
| [22:35.130] | Honey! |
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