| [00:02.33] | You said you'd marry Joey? |
| [00:04.93] | Okay, you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional. |
| [00:08.47] | I would have said yes to anybody. |
| [00:10.34] | Like that time when you and I got married. |
| [00:15.34] | I'm not helping. |
| [00:17.68] | So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby? |
| [00:22.35] | That is right. And traditionally, the daddy gives the mommy a present. |
| [00:26.52] | But I am prepared to let that go. |
| [00:29.79] | So when I came here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again.. |
| [00:33.80] | you were engaged to my best friend? |
| [00:37.37] | Well.. |
| [00:38.90] | Really? |
| [00:40.77] | I thought Chandler was your best friend. |
| [00:43.54] | Well, Chandler's my oldest friend. Joey's my.. No! |
| [00:49.54] | Hey, I'm gonna take off. I just wanted to say goodbye. |
| [00:52.38] | Rachel said she'd marry you? |
| [00:55.32] | This isn't the right room. Sorry, folks. |
| [01:00.02] | The One Where Emma Cries |
| [01:52.34] | I don't want to be negative. So I'll say most of the signs you bought are good. |
| [01:58.25] | No, they ran out of "It's a Girl!" But I can fix this one. “ |
| [02:06.45] | |
| [02:08.06] | See? Huh? |
| [02:12.79] | So sexy. |
| [02:15.46] | - Honey? - Yeah? |
| [02:19.63] | - Honey, why don't you lie down? - It's okay. - |
| [02:21.77] | Ross and Rachel will be back soon, and then I gotta go to the office. |
| [02:29.81] | Am I producing them? |
| [02:33.11] | - Why are you so tired? - I couldn't sleep last night. - |
| [02:35.88] | I started worrying about this big divisional meeting I have today. |
| [02:39.09] | The more I worried, the more I couldn't sleep. |
| [02:41.59] | You know, and then I was, like, "If I fall asleep now, I'll get six hours' sleep. |
| [02:45.66] | But if I fall asleep now, I'll get five hours' sleep." |
| [02:49.03] | No matter what I did, I couldn't fall asleep. |
| [02:51.53] | You know what you should've done? Told yourself that little story. |
| [02:53.90] | |
| [02:57.67] | - Hi. - Hey |
| [02:59.14] | - Welcome home. - Hi. - |
| [03:00.78] | Phoebe did the signs. |
| [03:03.14] | You guys, thanks for doing this. |
| [03:07.05] | Look at all that stuff people sent. |
| [03:10.29] | Oh, my gosh. Look, there's something every mother needs. |
| [03:13.52] | A giant, stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment. |
| [03:18.13] | What are people think..? You guys, I love it. |
| [03:24.87] | Hey, so where's Ross? |
| [03:26.80] | He's downstairs getting the stuff out of the cab. |
| [03:29.30] | - Is he still mad at us? - Well, you more than me. - |
| [03:32.07] | But he can't stay too mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby. |
| [03:35.31] | That's not fair. I can't do that. |
| [03:38.48] | I'm not sure you should be here when he comes up. |
| [03:40.98] | I didn't think I should be here either. But somebody said he'd be over it. |
| [03:45.25] | Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla. |
| [03:54.13] | The numbers we're seeing in Chicago, New York and London are solid. |
| [03:57.97] | But many of our field offices have reported disappointing yields. |
| [04:08.24] | Boston is down. Atlanta is down. Houston is down. |
| [04:11.08] | I could go on and on. But instead of boring you.. |
| [04:14.05] | I'll go straight to my 42-point plan. |
| [04:27.56] | Walter. |
| [04:31.17] | She's just so cute. |
| [04:33.70] | I just want to bite her ear off and use it as a sucking candy. |
| [04:39.41] | Phoebe. |
| [04:40.98] | But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket. |
| [04:46.18] | - Okay. I put most of the stuff away. - Oh, great. The pacifiers? - |
| [04:49.78] | - It's in the cupboard. - The burping cloths? - |
| [04:53.05] | - Linen closet. - The diapers? |
| [04:56.06] | In the hospital. |
| [04:59.19] | - Wow, you guys got a hospital? Fancy. - No, I left the diapers at the hospital. - |
| [05:04.27] | There's some in the bag, but I'll run out and get some more. |
| [05:07.20] | All right, thanks. |
| [05:08.60] | Could you stop at the coffeehouse and get me a muffin? |
| [05:11.07] | - Sure. What kind? - Let me think. - |
| [05:14.61] | What do I want? |
| [05:17.55] | What do I want? |
| [05:20.32] | Please, take your time. It's an important decision, not like.. |
| [05:23.42] | say, I don't know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin. |
| [05:30.93] | - Blueberry. - Blueberry it is. - |
| [05:33.03] | Thank you. |
| [05:36.16] | Wow, he's not letting this go, is he? |
| [05:38.33] | God, how long do you think that's gonna last? |
| [05:40.84] | I don't know. He got over the "We were on a break" thing quickly. |
| [05:46.07] | You know what, I can't worry about it right now. |
| [05:48.64] | Because I've got the cutie little baby. |
| [05:53.15] | I can't believe how much I love her. I mean, I can't get enough of her. |
| [05:57.42] | Like, right now? I miss her. I actually miss her. |
| [06:00.82] | You know, that's her? |
| [06:04.86] | I know. I know, but she's sleeping. |
| [06:07.96] | It's not like when she's awake and I can see her stretch and wiggle. |
| [06:12.07] | Oh, my God, have you seen her yawn? |
| [06:14.00] | - It's so cute. - I know. - |
| [06:18.07] | When do you think she's gonna wake up? |
| [06:20.07] | She told me to ring her if she's not up by 11. |
| [06:22.71] | She has a job interview. |
| [06:29.25] | Okay, but the clouds part when she yawns. |
| [06:34.39] | God, look at her sleeping. I love her so much. |
| [06:38.99] | - I think I'm gonna wake her up. - Rach, no. - |
| [06:41.16] | You know, you're never supposed to wake a sleeping baby. |
| [06:44.30] | Well, I can do whatever I want. I made her. |
| [06:48.24] | Come on, little girl. Yes. Hello, Emma. Hello. Hi. |
| [06:58.01] | Well, I would say I told you so, but she's kind of doing that for me. |
| [07:02.85] | I'm sorry. Mommy's so sorry. Go back to sleep. |
| [07:06.15] | Go back to sleep. |
| [07:08.72] | - It breaks your heart, doesn't it? - It really does. - |
| [07:13.39] | How long do you think we have to stay? |
| [07:18.07] | Okay, if everyone's onboard, it's settled. |
| [07:20.64] | Chandler? |
| [07:28.94] | - Chandler? - Yeah. |
| [07:30.28] | Are you onboard? |
| [07:33.41] | Yes. |
| [07:35.78] | Well, then problem solved. Chandler will run our office in Tulsa. |
| [07:39.45] | You're gonna love Oklahoma. |
| [07:45.69] | All right. We already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her.. |
| [07:49.63] | Try this one. "Go back in time and listen to Phoebe." |
| [07:55.87] | - All right, here's something. - What? |
| [07:57.81] | It says to try holding the baby close to your body.. |
| [08:00.37] | and then swing her rapidly from side to side. |
| [08:04.05] | Okay. |
| [08:14.19] | It worked! |
| [08:17.66] | No. Just stopped to throw up a little bit. |
| [08:22.33] | Mon, what am I gonna do? |
| [08:23.87] | It's been hours, and it won't stop crying. |
| [08:28.67] | - She, Rach. Not it. She. - Yeah. I'm not so sure. - |
| [08:34.18] | - Oh, my God, I'm losing my mind. - Yeah, no kidding. - |
| [08:37.38] | All right, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross! |
| [08:46.15] | Hey, Gunther. Can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? |
| [08:50.53] | - Diapers, huh? - Yep |
| [08:52.73] | So I guess Rachel had your baby? |
| [08:55.36] | - Yep. Can you believe it? - Nope |
| [08:59.23] | I can't even believe she slept with you in the first place. |
| [09:05.41] | You mean, like.. |
| [09:15.05] | Hey. |
| [09:18.79] | I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this. |
| [09:21.82] | Actually, we don't. |
| [09:25.06] | Fine. Okay. But I gotta say, technically, I didn't even do anything wrong. |
| [09:30.57] | What? You didn't do anything wrong? |
| [09:33.90] | - I said I didn't technically. - Okay. - |
| [09:37.74] | Let's put aside the fact that you "accidentally".. |
| [09:40.21] | picked up my grandmother's ring and you "accidentally" proposed to Rachel. |
| [09:44.95] | Can I just stop you there for a second? |
| [09:47.08] | When people do this: |
| [09:48.65] | I don't really know what that means. |
| [09:56.79] | You were saying? |
| [09:58.26] | And I could even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel. |
| [10:02.13] | But why couldn't you tell me? You had all day to, and you didn't. |
| [10:06.37] | I know. I should've. "I'm sorry." |
| [10:15.98] | Not using it right, Joe. |
| [10:19.15] | "I'm sorry." “ |
| [10:24.29] | - I'm gonna go. - No, come on. - |
| [10:25.82] | - Ross, we have to get past this. - Give me the bag. - |
| [10:28.16] | No, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry, now.. |
| [10:31.53] | Now you should scream at me or curse me or hit me. |
| [10:34.70] | - I'm not gonna hit you. - You'll feel better. I'll feel better. - |
| [10:37.97] | You know you want to, I can see it in your eyes. |
| [10:41.84] | - I don't. - A little bit. - |
| [10:43.27] | - No. - Little bit. - |
| [10:46.31] | - No. - A little bit more. - |
| [10:48.68] | - Give me the bag. Give me the bag. - No, hit me. Hit me. - |
| [10:51.48] | - Give me the bag. I'm not kidding. - Hit me. - |
| [10:53.78] | - No. - Hit me. Hit me. Hit me! |
| [11:08.10] | - You ducked! - I'm sorry! It was a reflex! - |
| [11:11.67] | - Oh, my God! This really hurts! - I couldn't help it. |
| [11:15.27] | When a fist comes at your face, you duck. Look. |
| [11:21.24] | What is the matter with you? |
| [11:23.98] | You were supposed to duck! Why didn't you? |
| [11:26.25] | Let's talk on the way to the hospital. |
| [11:28.42] | Good. Yeah, maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes. |
| [11:47.77] | - Try feeding her again. - I already fed her. - |
| [11:50.94] | I know. That's why I said, "Again!" |
| [11:54.78] | You guys, we can't turn on each other, okay? |
| [11:57.21] | That's just what she wants. |
| [12:00.21] | - Hi. - Hey. |
| [12:02.32] | I told you you shouldn't have let her watch Terms of Endearment. |
| [12:06.19] | - Can I talk to you outside? - Just stay here. - |
| [12:08.96] | I'm gonna check her diaper. Phoebe, you want to come? |
| [12:11.53] | I'm kind of part of this. |
| [12:16.66] | Actually, it's a husband-and-wife kind of thing. |
| [12:19.20] | I knew I should've married Chandler. |
| [12:23.40] | - Okay, what's up? - Okay. |
| [12:26.31] | You know we said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? |
| [12:29.24] | And you could study French cooking, and I could write.. |
| [12:32.08] | and we could picnic along the Seine, and go wine-tasting in Bordeaux. |
| [12:36.55] | - Yeah. - Okay. |
| [12:38.85] | You know how people say that Tulsa.. |
| [12:43.86] | is the Paris of Oklahoma? |
| [12:48.56] | What? Who says that? |
| [12:51.13] | People who have never been to Paris? |
| [12:54.54] | - Well, what's going on? - We're moving to Tulsa. - |
| [13:01.44] | - Excuse me? - Okay. |
| [13:03.94] | Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss. |
| [13:06.91] | - I think you actually met her. - Don't care. Get back to Tulsa. - |
| [13:10.15] | She asked me to move to Tulsa and be president of our office there. |
| [13:13.92] | And I was sleeping and apparently said yes. |
| [13:17.36] | - Tulsa, Oklahoma? - The Sooner State. - |
| [13:22.43] | Whatever that is. |
| [13:24.60] | Chandler, I don't even want to see the musical Oklahoma. |
| [13:27.97] | "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, " "Surrey With the Fringe on Top"? |
| [13:31.01] | Are you trying to tell me we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're gay? |
| [13:38.25] | I don't think I can get out of this. |
| [13:40.31] | - Oh, my God! - But you don't know.. |
| [13:42.82] | it could be like Paris. You can still take a cooking class.. |
| [13:45.82] | at Oral Roberts University. |
| [13:49.36] | All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise? |
| [13:53.33] | No. But they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. |
| [13:59.43] | - I'll get out of it. - Thank you. - |
| [14:02.80] | - What is wrong with Emma? - She misunderstood. - |
| [14:04.84] | She thought she was moving to Tulsa. |
| [14:11.58] | Ma'am, do you have a minute? |
| [14:14.38] | I kind of have some bad news. I don't think I can move to Tulsa. |
| [14:19.29] | - What? - It's a funny story, actually. - |
| [14:24.73] | I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning. |
| [14:28.30] | So when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying. |
| [14:32.03] | You fell asleep? |
| [14:33.40] | But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting. |
| [14:36.24] | Isn't that funny? |
| [14:39.51] | Irony. Not a fan? All right. |
| [14:44.11] | See, here's the thing. |
| [14:45.65] | I went home and told my wife about Tulsa, and she won't go. |
| [14:49.28] | See me, I love Tulsa. Tulsa is heaven. Tulsa is ltaly. |
| [14:53.32] | Please don't make me go there. |
| [14:55.59] | - Chandler, I.. - I know that you're upset. |
| [14:58.73] | but I just.. I would really rather just stay here. |
| [15:04.06] | Not here in your office.. |
| [15:06.13] | here at the company.. |
| [15:08.14] | where I'm rapidly feeling unwelcome. |
| [15:12.07] | No, look, Carol. Can I call you Carol? |
| [15:17.21] | Why would I when your name is Elaine? |
| [15:24.79] | What a great picture of your son. Strapping. |
| [15:29.39] | That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it? |
| [15:32.66] | Well, she's lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. |
| [15:39.03] | I'll call you from Tulsa. |
| [15:45.77] | Hey. So how is it? |
| [15:48.48] | - I broke my thumb. - Your thumb? - |
| [15:54.92] | That's weird. Are you sure you're punching right? |
| [15:57.82] | Make a fist. |
| [16:01.16] | Maybe later. |
| [16:03.32] | Ross, I feel terrible. |
| [16:05.23] | You know what, you can go. I just have to fill out some forms. |
| [16:14.44] | You want me to help you with that? |
| [16:16.47] | Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen claw? |
| [16:23.71] | Name? |
| [16:27.18] | No, I know Ross. But what's it short for? |
| [16:30.22] | You know, like Rossell. |
| [16:32.89] | Or Rosstrophor. |
| [16:37.02] | Just Ross. |
| [16:40.19] | It's pretty. |
| [16:42.90] | - Okay, date of birth? - You know my birthday. - |
| [16:46.40] | Sure. |
| [16:48.90] | May.. tember? |
| [16:53.37] | - October 18. - Occupation? Dinosaurs. - |
| [17:00.11] | Actually, I'm a paleon.. Dinosaurs is fine. |
| [17:06.05] | The drawing is not. |
| [17:12.39] | All right, who do you want as your emergency contact? |
| [17:16.73] | - Rachel, I guess. - Okay. Relationship? - |
| [17:20.20] | Boy, this could take a while. |
| [17:26.27] | - Just put roommate. - Come on. - |
| [17:28.58] | You guys are more than that. You're gonna get together, right? |
| [17:32.28] | I don't think that we are. |
| [17:36.38] | But you two are supposed to be together. |
| [17:38.75] | Well, I thought so too. But then she said she'd marry you. |
| [17:42.32] | Come on, Ross, that didn't mean anything. |
| [17:44.79] | She'd just had the baby. She was freaked out about doing it alone. |
| [17:47.83] | - She would have said yes to anybody. - Yeah, that's what she said. - |
| [17:52.07] | - So? - So I don't want to be just anybody. - |
| [17:58.64] | - Wow. - You know what? |
| [18:00.34] | It's better this way anyway. |
| [18:04.75] | I don't know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. |
| [18:07.82] | It's just much easier if we're just friends who have a kid. |
| [18:13.69] | - Really? - Yeah. |
| [18:16.12] | - And you're okay with that? - Yes. That's what we always planned. - |
| [18:20.03] | And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. |
| [18:22.76] | That's why they call them plans. Hello? |
| [18:28.70] | I'm fine. |
| [18:31.34] | Hey, for what it's worth.. |
| [18:33.27] | with Rachel, I don't think you'll ever be just "anybody." |
| [18:38.05] | Hey, there you go. |
| [18:42.52] | "Thanks. |
| [18:49.72] | Oh, my God. How long has she been crying? |
| [18:53.36] | About a week and a half. |
| [18:56.03] | Well, it looks like you guys got it under control, so I'm just gonna go. |
| [19:01.87] | No? Really? Misery really does love company? |
| [19:05.31] | All right. |
| [19:08.38] | - Try holding her a different way. - Look, I'm doing the best I can. - |
| [19:12.18] | - Anyone else is welcome to try. - All right, I'll try. Fine. - |
| [19:15.52] | - Yes. Okay. Okay. - Here you go. |
| [19:18.02] | Hey. Oh, gosh. |
| [19:20.89] | Nothing works with this child! |
| [19:24.22] | God, what am I gonna do, you guys? I can't even comfort my own baby. |
| [19:28.33] | - I'm the worst mother ever. - No, you're just new at this. - |
| [19:31.20] | You'll get better. Think about your first day at work. |
| [19:34.60] | That couldn't have been easy, but you figured that out. |
| [19:37.34] | Yeah, I don't think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! |
| [19:42.24] | - God, just please take her. - Okay, I'll take her. Come on. - |
| [19:46.05] | Oh, boy, I have to go to the bathroom. |
| [19:49.15] | I have to go scream into a pillow. |
| [19:55.86] | Bouncy. Bouncy baby. Bouncy baby. |
| [20:00.13] | Oh, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby. |
| [20:05.13] | Oh, baby, baby, baby. |
| [20:10.17] | Have I gone deaf? |
| [20:14.81] | It worked. Oh, baby, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby, baby. |
| [20:20.98] | You must be a fireball in bed! |
| [20:25.32] | I can't believe it. She's asleep. I got her to go to sleep. |
| [20:31.29] | I have actual magical powers. |
| [20:35.66] | I can hear traffic and birds. |
| [20:38.33] | I can hear the voices in my head again. |
| [20:42.97] | I'm kidding. |
| [20:47.98] | Oh, my God! You got her to stop crying! |
| [20:52.01] | Yes, I did. I'm Monica, super aunt. |
| [20:56.65] | - You are the official baby-crier stopper. - Yes, I am. - |
| [21:01.49] | - You're never leaving the apartment. - Say what? - |
| [21:05.23] | That's your new job, day or night. She starts crying, I need you here. |
| [21:09.73] | - No, no, no. - Thankfully, you don't need me at all. - |
| [21:13.63] | So okay. Hey, super aunt? See you later. |
| [21:17.94] | Rachel? Let's give it six to eight months. |
| [21:30.45] | Okay, so listen, I'm gonna go lay down. |
| [21:34.05] | What? |
| [21:35.32] | The book says whenever she's sleeping, I should be sleeping. |
| [21:38.39] | So.. |
| [21:41.70] | Thank you. |
| [21:46.47] | Hey. |
| [21:48.50] | - We just got her to go to sleep. - So there can't be any yelling? - |
| [21:54.78] | No. |
| [21:59.58] | - We're moving to Tulsa. - What? - |
| [22:05.85] | I can't.. I can't hear. |
| [22:14.53] | - Hey. - Hey. Where have you been? |
| [22:20.57] | - What happened to you? - I had a little thing with Joey. - |
| [22:24.27] | If you think this is bad, you should see him. |
| [22:28.04] | No, Ross, this is not good. |
| [22:30.54] | We have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. |
| [22:38.09] | All right, you have got to get over this Joey thing. |
| [22:42.22] | Okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay? |
| [22:49.16] | Okay. |
| [22:52.10] | You know what I really, really want? |
| [22:56.90] | What, Rach? |
| [23:00.07] | I wanna sleep. |
| [23:03.64] | I wanna eat. I wanna take a shower. |
| [23:09.25] | I mean, before she wakes up, and we gotta do this all over again. |
| [23:13.59] | - Right. - I mean, because I got news for you. - |
| [23:17.02] | Emma: not easy. |
| [23:21.09] | Well, that's what I'm here for. |
| [23:28.20] | - You want me to get that? - No, that's really okay. - |
| [23:31.44] | - Monica? - Got it, got it, got it, got it. |
| [23:45.45] | I've been thinking about this. And I gotta tell you, it's not my fault. |
| [23:49.29] | - It's a natural instinct. - What are you talking about? - |
| [23:52.13] | Okay, what would you do if I did this? |
| [00:02.33] | You said you' d marry Joey? |
| [00:04.93] | Okay, you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional. |
| [00:08.47] | I would have said yes to anybody. |
| [00:10.34] | Like that time when you and I got married. |
| [00:15.34] | I' m not helping. |
| [00:17.68] | So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby? |
| [00:22.35] | That is right. And traditionally, the daddy gives the mommy a present. |
| [00:26.52] | But I am prepared to let that go. |
| [00:29.79] | So when I came here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again.. |
| [00:33.80] | you were engaged to my best friend? |
| [00:37.37] | Well.. |
| [00:38.90] | Really? |
| [00:40.77] | I thought Chandler was your best friend. |
| [00:43.54] | Well, Chandler' s my oldest friend. Joey' s my.. No! |
| [00:49.54] | Hey, I' m gonna take off. I just wanted to say goodbye. |
| [00:52.38] | Rachel said she' d marry you? |
| [00:55.32] | This isn' t the right room. Sorry, folks. |
| [01:00.02] | The One Where Emma Cries |
| [01:52.34] | I don' t want to be negative. So I' ll say most of the signs you bought are good. |
| [01:58.25] | No, they ran out of " It' s a Girl!" But I can fix this one. " |
| [02:06.45] | |
| [02:08.06] | See? Huh? |
| [02:12.79] | So sexy. |
| [02:15.46] | Honey? Yeah? |
| [02:19.63] | Honey, why don' t you lie down? It' s okay. |
| [02:21.77] | Ross and Rachel will be back soon, and then I gotta go to the office. |
| [02:29.81] | Am I producing them? |
| [02:33.11] | Why are you so tired? I couldn' t sleep last night. |
| [02:35.88] | I started worrying about this big divisional meeting I have today. |
| [02:39.09] | The more I worried, the more I couldn' t sleep. |
| [02:41.59] | You know, and then I was, like, " If I fall asleep now, I' ll get six hours' sleep. |
| [02:45.66] | But if I fall asleep now, I' ll get five hours' sleep." |
| [02:49.03] | No matter what I did, I couldn' t fall asleep. |
| [02:51.53] | You know what you should' ve done? Told yourself that little story. |
| [02:53.90] | |
| [02:57.67] | Hi. Hey |
| [02:59.14] | Welcome home. Hi. |
| [03:00.78] | Phoebe did the signs. |
| [03:03.14] | You guys, thanks for doing this. |
| [03:07.05] | Look at all that stuff people sent. |
| [03:10.29] | Oh, my gosh. Look, there' s something every mother needs. |
| [03:13.52] | A giant, stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment. |
| [03:18.13] | What are people think..? You guys, I love it. |
| [03:24.87] | Hey, so where' s Ross? |
| [03:26.80] | He' s downstairs getting the stuff out of the cab. |
| [03:29.30] | Is he still mad at us? Well, you more than me. |
| [03:32.07] | But he can' t stay too mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby. |
| [03:35.31] | That' s not fair. I can' t do that. |
| [03:38.48] | I' m not sure you should be here when he comes up. |
| [03:40.98] | I didn' t think I should be here either. But somebody said he' d be over it. |
| [03:45.25] | Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla. |
| [03:54.13] | The numbers we' re seeing in Chicago, New York and London are solid. |
| [03:57.97] | But many of our field offices have reported disappointing yields. |
| [04:08.24] | Boston is down. Atlanta is down. Houston is down. |
| [04:11.08] | I could go on and on. But instead of boring you.. |
| [04:14.05] | I' ll go straight to my 42point plan. |
| [04:27.56] | Walter. |
| [04:31.17] | She' s just so cute. |
| [04:33.70] | I just want to bite her ear off and use it as a sucking candy. |
| [04:39.41] | Phoebe. |
| [04:40.98] | But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket. |
| [04:46.18] | Okay. I put most of the stuff away. Oh, great. The pacifiers? |
| [04:49.78] | It' s in the cupboard. The burping cloths? |
| [04:53.05] | Linen closet. The diapers? |
| [04:56.06] | In the hospital. |
| [04:59.19] | Wow, you guys got a hospital? Fancy. No, I left the diapers at the hospital. |
| [05:04.27] | There' s some in the bag, but I' ll run out and get some more. |
| [05:07.20] | All right, thanks. |
| [05:08.60] | Could you stop at the coffeehouse and get me a muffin? |
| [05:11.07] | Sure. What kind? Let me think. |
| [05:14.61] | What do I want? |
| [05:17.55] | What do I want? |
| [05:20.32] | Please, take your time. It' s an important decision, not like.. |
| [05:23.42] | say, I don' t know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin. |
| [05:30.93] | Blueberry. Blueberry it is. |
| [05:33.03] | Thank you. |
| [05:36.16] | Wow, he' s not letting this go, is he? |
| [05:38.33] | God, how long do you think that' s gonna last? |
| [05:40.84] | I don' t know. He got over the " We were on a break" thing quickly. |
| [05:46.07] | You know what, I can' t worry about it right now. |
| [05:48.64] | Because I' ve got the cutie little baby. |
| [05:53.15] | I can' t believe how much I love her. I mean, I can' t get enough of her. |
| [05:57.42] | Like, right now? I miss her. I actually miss her. |
| [06:00.82] | You know, that' s her? |
| [06:04.86] | I know. I know, but she' s sleeping. |
| [06:07.96] | It' s not like when she' s awake and I can see her stretch and wiggle. |
| [06:12.07] | Oh, my God, have you seen her yawn? |
| [06:14.00] | It' s so cute. I know. |
| [06:18.07] | When do you think she' s gonna wake up? |
| [06:20.07] | She told me to ring her if she' s not up by 11. |
| [06:22.71] | She has a job interview. |
| [06:29.25] | Okay, but the clouds part when she yawns. |
| [06:34.39] | God, look at her sleeping. I love her so much. |
| [06:38.99] | I think I' m gonna wake her up. Rach, no. |
| [06:41.16] | You know, you' re never supposed to wake a sleeping baby. |
| [06:44.30] | Well, I can do whatever I want. I made her. |
| [06:48.24] | Come on, little girl. Yes. Hello, Emma. Hello. Hi. |
| [06:58.01] | Well, I would say I told you so, but she' s kind of doing that for me. |
| [07:02.85] | I' m sorry. Mommy' s so sorry. Go back to sleep. |
| [07:06.15] | Go back to sleep. |
| [07:08.72] | It breaks your heart, doesn' t it? It really does. |
| [07:13.39] | How long do you think we have to stay? |
| [07:18.07] | Okay, if everyone' s onboard, it' s settled. |
| [07:20.64] | Chandler? |
| [07:28.94] | Chandler? Yeah. |
| [07:30.28] | Are you onboard? |
| [07:33.41] | Yes. |
| [07:35.78] | Well, then problem solved. Chandler will run our office in Tulsa. |
| [07:39.45] | You' re gonna love Oklahoma. |
| [07:45.69] | All right. We already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her.. |
| [07:49.63] | Try this one. " Go back in time and listen to Phoebe." |
| [07:55.87] | All right, here' s something. What? |
| [07:57.81] | It says to try holding the baby close to your body.. |
| [08:00.37] | and then swing her rapidly from side to side. |
| [08:04.05] | Okay. |
| [08:14.19] | It worked! |
| [08:17.66] | No. Just stopped to throw up a little bit. |
| [08:22.33] | Mon, what am I gonna do? |
| [08:23.87] | It' s been hours, and it won' t stop crying. |
| [08:28.67] | She, Rach. Not it. She. Yeah. I' m not so sure. |
| [08:34.18] | Oh, my God, I' m losing my mind. Yeah, no kidding. |
| [08:37.38] | All right, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross! |
| [08:46.15] | Hey, Gunther. Can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? |
| [08:50.53] | Diapers, huh? Yep |
| [08:52.73] | So I guess Rachel had your baby? |
| [08:55.36] | Yep. Can you believe it? Nope |
| [08:59.23] | I can' t even believe she slept with you in the first place. |
| [09:05.41] | You mean, like.. |
| [09:15.05] | Hey. |
| [09:18.79] | I know you' re pissed at me, but we have to talk about this. |
| [09:21.82] | Actually, we don' t. |
| [09:25.06] | Fine. Okay. But I gotta say, technically, I didn' t even do anything wrong. |
| [09:30.57] | What? You didn' t do anything wrong? |
| [09:33.90] | I said I didn' t technically. Okay. |
| [09:37.74] | Let' s put aside the fact that you " accidentally".. |
| [09:40.21] | picked up my grandmother' s ring and you " accidentally" proposed to Rachel. |
| [09:44.95] | Can I just stop you there for a second? |
| [09:47.08] | When people do this: |
| [09:48.65] | I don' t really know what that means. |
| [09:56.79] | You were saying? |
| [09:58.26] | And I could even understand that you couldn' t tell Rachel. |
| [10:02.13] | But why couldn' t you tell me? You had all day to, and you didn' t. |
| [10:06.37] | I know. I should' ve. " I' m sorry." |
| [10:15.98] | Not using it right, Joe. |
| [10:19.15] | " I' m sorry." " |
| [10:24.29] | I' m gonna go. No, come on. |
| [10:25.82] | Ross, we have to get past this. Give me the bag. |
| [10:28.16] | No, I don' t know what else to do. I said I' m sorry, now.. |
| [10:31.53] | Now you should scream at me or curse me or hit me. |
| [10:34.70] | I' m not gonna hit you. You' ll feel better. I' ll feel better. |
| [10:37.97] | You know you want to, I can see it in your eyes. |
| [10:41.84] | I don' t. A little bit. |
| [10:43.27] | No. Little bit. |
| [10:46.31] | No. A little bit more. |
| [10:48.68] | Give me the bag. Give me the bag. No, hit me. Hit me. |
| [10:51.48] | Give me the bag. I' m not kidding. Hit me. |
| [10:53.78] | No. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me! |
| [11:08.10] | You ducked! I' m sorry! It was a reflex! |
| [11:11.67] | Oh, my God! This really hurts! I couldn' t help it. |
| [11:15.27] | When a fist comes at your face, you duck. Look. |
| [11:21.24] | What is the matter with you? |
| [11:23.98] | You were supposed to duck! Why didn' t you? |
| [11:26.25] | Let' s talk on the way to the hospital. |
| [11:28.42] | Good. Yeah, maybe while we' re there, they can check your reflexes. |
| [11:47.77] | Try feeding her again. I already fed her. |
| [11:50.94] | I know. That' s why I said, " Again!" |
| [11:54.78] | You guys, we can' t turn on each other, okay? |
| [11:57.21] | That' s just what she wants. |
| [12:00.21] | Hi. Hey. |
| [12:02.32] | I told you you shouldn' t have let her watch Terms of Endearment. |
| [12:06.19] | Can I talk to you outside? Just stay here. |
| [12:08.96] | I' m gonna check her diaper. Phoebe, you want to come? |
| [12:11.53] | I' m kind of part of this. |
| [12:16.66] | Actually, it' s a husbandandwife kind of thing. |
| [12:19.20] | I knew I should' ve married Chandler. |
| [12:23.40] | Okay, what' s up? Okay. |
| [12:26.31] | You know we said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? |
| [12:29.24] | And you could study French cooking, and I could write.. |
| [12:32.08] | and we could picnic along the Seine, and go winetasting in Bordeaux. |
| [12:36.55] | Yeah. Okay. |
| [12:38.85] | You know how people say that Tulsa.. |
| [12:43.86] | is the Paris of Oklahoma? |
| [12:48.56] | What? Who says that? |
| [12:51.13] | People who have never been to Paris? |
| [12:54.54] | Well, what' s going on? We' re moving to Tulsa. |
| [13:01.44] | Excuse me? Okay. |
| [13:03.94] | Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss. |
| [13:06.91] | I think you actually met her. Don' t care. Get back to Tulsa. |
| [13:10.15] | She asked me to move to Tulsa and be president of our office there. |
| [13:13.92] | And I was sleeping and apparently said yes. |
| [13:17.36] | Tulsa, Oklahoma? The Sooner State. |
| [13:22.43] | Whatever that is. |
| [13:24.60] | Chandler, I don' t even want to see the musical Oklahoma. |
| [13:27.97] | " Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, " " Surrey With the Fringe on Top"? |
| [13:31.01] | Are you trying to tell me we' re moving to Oklahoma or that you' re gay? |
| [13:38.25] | I don' t think I can get out of this. |
| [13:40.31] | Oh, my God! But you don' t know.. |
| [13:42.82] | it could be like Paris. You can still take a cooking class.. |
| [13:45.82] | at Oral Roberts University. |
| [13:49.36] | All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise? |
| [13:53.33] | No. But they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. |
| [13:59.43] | I' ll get out of it. Thank you. |
| [14:02.80] | What is wrong with Emma? She misunderstood. |
| [14:04.84] | She thought she was moving to Tulsa. |
| [14:11.58] | Ma' am, do you have a minute? |
| [14:14.38] | I kind of have some bad news. I don' t think I can move to Tulsa. |
| [14:19.29] | What? It' s a funny story, actually. |
| [14:24.73] | I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning. |
| [14:28.30] | So when I said I' d move to Tulsa, I didn' t really know what I was saying. |
| [14:32.03] | You fell asleep? |
| [14:33.40] | But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting. |
| [14:36.24] | Isn' t that funny? |
| [14:39.51] | Irony. Not a fan? All right. |
| [14:44.11] | See, here' s the thing. |
| [14:45.65] | I went home and told my wife about Tulsa, and she won' t go. |
| [14:49.28] | See me, I love Tulsa. Tulsa is heaven. Tulsa is ltaly. |
| [14:53.32] | Please don' t make me go there. |
| [14:55.59] | Chandler, I.. I know that you' re upset. |
| [14:58.73] | but I just.. I would really rather just stay here. |
| [15:04.06] | Not here in your office.. |
| [15:06.13] | here at the company.. |
| [15:08.14] | where I' m rapidly feeling unwelcome. |
| [15:12.07] | No, look, Carol. Can I call you Carol? |
| [15:17.21] | Why would I when your name is Elaine? |
| [15:24.79] | What a great picture of your son. Strapping. |
| [15:29.39] | That' s a picture of your daughter, isn' t it? |
| [15:32.66] | Well, she' s lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. |
| [15:39.03] | I' ll call you from Tulsa. |
| [15:45.77] | Hey. So how is it? |
| [15:48.48] | I broke my thumb. Your thumb? |
| [15:54.92] | That' s weird. Are you sure you' re punching right? |
| [15:57.82] | Make a fist. |
| [16:01.16] | Maybe later. |
| [16:03.32] | Ross, I feel terrible. |
| [16:05.23] | You know what, you can go. I just have to fill out some forms. |
| [16:14.44] | You want me to help you with that? |
| [16:16.47] | Why, does it look like I' m having trouble with my misshapen claw? |
| [16:23.71] | Name? |
| [16:27.18] | No, I know Ross. But what' s it short for? |
| [16:30.22] | You know, like Rossell. |
| [16:32.89] | Or Rosstrophor. |
| [16:37.02] | Just Ross. |
| [16:40.19] | It' s pretty. |
| [16:42.90] | Okay, date of birth? You know my birthday. |
| [16:46.40] | Sure. |
| [16:48.90] | May.. tember? |
| [16:53.37] | October 18. Occupation? Dinosaurs. |
| [17:00.11] | Actually, I' m a paleon.. Dinosaurs is fine. |
| [17:06.05] | The drawing is not. |
| [17:12.39] | All right, who do you want as your emergency contact? |
| [17:16.73] | Rachel, I guess. Okay. Relationship? |
| [17:20.20] | Boy, this could take a while. |
| [17:26.27] | Just put roommate. Come on. |
| [17:28.58] | You guys are more than that. You' re gonna get together, right? |
| [17:32.28] | I don' t think that we are. |
| [17:36.38] | But you two are supposed to be together. |
| [17:38.75] | Well, I thought so too. But then she said she' d marry you. |
| [17:42.32] | Come on, Ross, that didn' t mean anything. |
| [17:44.79] | She' d just had the baby. She was freaked out about doing it alone. |
| [17:47.83] | She would have said yes to anybody. Yeah, that' s what she said. |
| [17:52.07] | So? So I don' t want to be just anybody. |
| [17:58.64] | Wow. You know what? |
| [18:00.34] | It' s better this way anyway. |
| [18:04.75] | I don' t know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. |
| [18:07.82] | It' s just much easier if we' re just friends who have a kid. |
| [18:13.69] | Really? Yeah. |
| [18:16.12] | And you' re okay with that? Yes. That' s what we always planned. |
| [18:20.03] | And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. |
| [18:22.76] | That' s why they call them plans. Hello? |
| [18:28.70] | I' m fine. |
| [18:31.34] | Hey, for what it' s worth.. |
| [18:33.27] | with Rachel, I don' t think you' ll ever be just " anybody." |
| [18:38.05] | Hey, there you go. |
| [18:42.52] | " Thanks. |
| [18:49.72] | Oh, my God. How long has she been crying? |
| [18:53.36] | About a week and a half. |
| [18:56.03] | Well, it looks like you guys got it under control, so I' m just gonna go. |
| [19:01.87] | No? Really? Misery really does love company? |
| [19:05.31] | All right. |
| [19:08.38] | Try holding her a different way. Look, I' m doing the best I can. |
| [19:12.18] | Anyone else is welcome to try. All right, I' ll try. Fine. |
| [19:15.52] | Yes. Okay. Okay. Here you go. |
| [19:18.02] | Hey. Oh, gosh. |
| [19:20.89] | Nothing works with this child! |
| [19:24.22] | God, what am I gonna do, you guys? I can' t even comfort my own baby. |
| [19:28.33] | I' m the worst mother ever. No, you' re just new at this. |
| [19:31.20] | You' ll get better. Think about your first day at work. |
| [19:34.60] | That couldn' t have been easy, but you figured that out. |
| [19:37.34] | Yeah, I don' t think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! |
| [19:42.24] | God, just please take her. Okay, I' ll take her. Come on. |
| [19:46.05] | Oh, boy, I have to go to the bathroom. |
| [19:49.15] | I have to go scream into a pillow. |
| [19:55.86] | Bouncy. Bouncy baby. Bouncy baby. |
| [20:00.13] | Oh, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby. |
| [20:05.13] | Oh, baby, baby, baby. |
| [20:10.17] | Have I gone deaf? |
| [20:14.81] | It worked. Oh, baby, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby, baby. |
| [20:20.98] | You must be a fireball in bed! |
| [20:25.32] | I can' t believe it. She' s asleep. I got her to go to sleep. |
| [20:31.29] | I have actual magical powers. |
| [20:35.66] | I can hear traffic and birds. |
| [20:38.33] | I can hear the voices in my head again. |
| [20:42.97] | I' m kidding. |
| [20:47.98] | Oh, my God! You got her to stop crying! |
| [20:52.01] | Yes, I did. I' m Monica, super aunt. |
| [20:56.65] | You are the official babycrier stopper. Yes, I am. |
| [21:01.49] | You' re never leaving the apartment. Say what? |
| [21:05.23] | That' s your new job, day or night. She starts crying, I need you here. |
| [21:09.73] | No, no, no. Thankfully, you don' t need me at all. |
| [21:13.63] | So okay. Hey, super aunt? See you later. |
| [21:17.94] | Rachel? Let' s give it six to eight months. |
| [21:30.45] | Okay, so listen, I' m gonna go lay down. |
| [21:34.05] | What? |
| [21:35.32] | The book says whenever she' s sleeping, I should be sleeping. |
| [21:38.39] | So.. |
| [21:41.70] | Thank you. |
| [21:46.47] | Hey. |
| [21:48.50] | We just got her to go to sleep. So there can' t be any yelling? |
| [21:54.78] | No. |
| [21:59.58] | We' re moving to Tulsa. What? |
| [22:05.85] | I can' t.. I can' t hear. |
| [22:14.53] | Hey. Hey. Where have you been? |
| [22:20.57] | What happened to you? I had a little thing with Joey. |
| [22:24.27] | If you think this is bad, you should see him. |
| [22:28.04] | No, Ross, this is not good. |
| [22:30.54] | We have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. |
| [22:38.09] | All right, you have got to get over this Joey thing. |
| [22:42.22] | Okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay? |
| [22:49.16] | Okay. |
| [22:52.10] | You know what I really, really want? |
| [22:56.90] | What, Rach? |
| [23:00.07] | I wanna sleep. |
| [23:03.64] | I wanna eat. I wanna take a shower. |
| [23:09.25] | I mean, before she wakes up, and we gotta do this all over again. |
| [23:13.59] | Right. I mean, because I got news for you. |
| [23:17.02] | Emma: not easy. |
| [23:21.09] | Well, that' s what I' m here for. |
| [23:28.20] | You want me to get that? No, that' s really okay. |
| [23:31.44] | Monica? Got it, got it, got it, got it. |
| [23:45.45] | I' ve been thinking about this. And I gotta tell you, it' s not my fault. |
| [23:49.29] | It' s a natural instinct. What are you talking about? |
| [23:52.13] | Okay, what would you do if I did this? |
| [00:02.33] | You said you' d marry Joey? |
| [00:04.93] | Okay, you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional. |
| [00:08.47] | I would have said yes to anybody. |
| [00:10.34] | Like that time when you and I got married. |
| [00:15.34] | I' m not helping. |
| [00:17.68] | So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby? |
| [00:22.35] | That is right. And traditionally, the daddy gives the mommy a present. |
| [00:26.52] | But I am prepared to let that go. |
| [00:29.79] | So when I came here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again.. |
| [00:33.80] | you were engaged to my best friend? |
| [00:37.37] | Well.. |
| [00:38.90] | Really? |
| [00:40.77] | I thought Chandler was your best friend. |
| [00:43.54] | Well, Chandler' s my oldest friend. Joey' s my.. No! |
| [00:49.54] | Hey, I' m gonna take off. I just wanted to say goodbye. |
| [00:52.38] | Rachel said she' d marry you? |
| [00:55.32] | This isn' t the right room. Sorry, folks. |
| [01:00.02] | The One Where Emma Cries |
| [01:52.34] | I don' t want to be negative. So I' ll say most of the signs you bought are good. |
| [01:58.25] | No, they ran out of " It' s a Girl!" But I can fix this one. " |
| [02:06.45] | |
| [02:08.06] | See? Huh? |
| [02:12.79] | So sexy. |
| [02:15.46] | Honey? Yeah? |
| [02:19.63] | Honey, why don' t you lie down? It' s okay. |
| [02:21.77] | Ross and Rachel will be back soon, and then I gotta go to the office. |
| [02:29.81] | Am I producing them? |
| [02:33.11] | Why are you so tired? I couldn' t sleep last night. |
| [02:35.88] | I started worrying about this big divisional meeting I have today. |
| [02:39.09] | The more I worried, the more I couldn' t sleep. |
| [02:41.59] | You know, and then I was, like, " If I fall asleep now, I' ll get six hours' sleep. |
| [02:45.66] | But if I fall asleep now, I' ll get five hours' sleep." |
| [02:49.03] | No matter what I did, I couldn' t fall asleep. |
| [02:51.53] | You know what you should' ve done? Told yourself that little story. |
| [02:53.90] | |
| [02:57.67] | Hi. Hey |
| [02:59.14] | Welcome home. Hi. |
| [03:00.78] | Phoebe did the signs. |
| [03:03.14] | You guys, thanks for doing this. |
| [03:07.05] | Look at all that stuff people sent. |
| [03:10.29] | Oh, my gosh. Look, there' s something every mother needs. |
| [03:13.52] | A giant, stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment. |
| [03:18.13] | What are people think..? You guys, I love it. |
| [03:24.87] | Hey, so where' s Ross? |
| [03:26.80] | He' s downstairs getting the stuff out of the cab. |
| [03:29.30] | Is he still mad at us? Well, you more than me. |
| [03:32.07] | But he can' t stay too mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby. |
| [03:35.31] | That' s not fair. I can' t do that. |
| [03:38.48] | I' m not sure you should be here when he comes up. |
| [03:40.98] | I didn' t think I should be here either. But somebody said he' d be over it. |
| [03:45.25] | Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla. |
| [03:54.13] | The numbers we' re seeing in Chicago, New York and London are solid. |
| [03:57.97] | But many of our field offices have reported disappointing yields. |
| [04:08.24] | Boston is down. Atlanta is down. Houston is down. |
| [04:11.08] | I could go on and on. But instead of boring you.. |
| [04:14.05] | I' ll go straight to my 42point plan. |
| [04:27.56] | Walter. |
| [04:31.17] | She' s just so cute. |
| [04:33.70] | I just want to bite her ear off and use it as a sucking candy. |
| [04:39.41] | Phoebe. |
| [04:40.98] | But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket. |
| [04:46.18] | Okay. I put most of the stuff away. Oh, great. The pacifiers? |
| [04:49.78] | It' s in the cupboard. The burping cloths? |
| [04:53.05] | Linen closet. The diapers? |
| [04:56.06] | In the hospital. |
| [04:59.19] | Wow, you guys got a hospital? Fancy. No, I left the diapers at the hospital. |
| [05:04.27] | There' s some in the bag, but I' ll run out and get some more. |
| [05:07.20] | All right, thanks. |
| [05:08.60] | Could you stop at the coffeehouse and get me a muffin? |
| [05:11.07] | Sure. What kind? Let me think. |
| [05:14.61] | What do I want? |
| [05:17.55] | What do I want? |
| [05:20.32] | Please, take your time. It' s an important decision, not like.. |
| [05:23.42] | say, I don' t know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin. |
| [05:30.93] | Blueberry. Blueberry it is. |
| [05:33.03] | Thank you. |
| [05:36.16] | Wow, he' s not letting this go, is he? |
| [05:38.33] | God, how long do you think that' s gonna last? |
| [05:40.84] | I don' t know. He got over the " We were on a break" thing quickly. |
| [05:46.07] | You know what, I can' t worry about it right now. |
| [05:48.64] | Because I' ve got the cutie little baby. |
| [05:53.15] | I can' t believe how much I love her. I mean, I can' t get enough of her. |
| [05:57.42] | Like, right now? I miss her. I actually miss her. |
| [06:00.82] | You know, that' s her? |
| [06:04.86] | I know. I know, but she' s sleeping. |
| [06:07.96] | It' s not like when she' s awake and I can see her stretch and wiggle. |
| [06:12.07] | Oh, my God, have you seen her yawn? |
| [06:14.00] | It' s so cute. I know. |
| [06:18.07] | When do you think she' s gonna wake up? |
| [06:20.07] | She told me to ring her if she' s not up by 11. |
| [06:22.71] | She has a job interview. |
| [06:29.25] | Okay, but the clouds part when she yawns. |
| [06:34.39] | God, look at her sleeping. I love her so much. |
| [06:38.99] | I think I' m gonna wake her up. Rach, no. |
| [06:41.16] | You know, you' re never supposed to wake a sleeping baby. |
| [06:44.30] | Well, I can do whatever I want. I made her. |
| [06:48.24] | Come on, little girl. Yes. Hello, Emma. Hello. Hi. |
| [06:58.01] | Well, I would say I told you so, but she' s kind of doing that for me. |
| [07:02.85] | I' m sorry. Mommy' s so sorry. Go back to sleep. |
| [07:06.15] | Go back to sleep. |
| [07:08.72] | It breaks your heart, doesn' t it? It really does. |
| [07:13.39] | How long do you think we have to stay? |
| [07:18.07] | Okay, if everyone' s onboard, it' s settled. |
| [07:20.64] | Chandler? |
| [07:28.94] | Chandler? Yeah. |
| [07:30.28] | Are you onboard? |
| [07:33.41] | Yes. |
| [07:35.78] | Well, then problem solved. Chandler will run our office in Tulsa. |
| [07:39.45] | You' re gonna love Oklahoma. |
| [07:45.69] | All right. We already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her.. |
| [07:49.63] | Try this one. " Go back in time and listen to Phoebe." |
| [07:55.87] | All right, here' s something. What? |
| [07:57.81] | It says to try holding the baby close to your body.. |
| [08:00.37] | and then swing her rapidly from side to side. |
| [08:04.05] | Okay. |
| [08:14.19] | It worked! |
| [08:17.66] | No. Just stopped to throw up a little bit. |
| [08:22.33] | Mon, what am I gonna do? |
| [08:23.87] | It' s been hours, and it won' t stop crying. |
| [08:28.67] | She, Rach. Not it. She. Yeah. I' m not so sure. |
| [08:34.18] | Oh, my God, I' m losing my mind. Yeah, no kidding. |
| [08:37.38] | All right, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross! |
| [08:46.15] | Hey, Gunther. Can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? |
| [08:50.53] | Diapers, huh? Yep |
| [08:52.73] | So I guess Rachel had your baby? |
| [08:55.36] | Yep. Can you believe it? Nope |
| [08:59.23] | I can' t even believe she slept with you in the first place. |
| [09:05.41] | You mean, like.. |
| [09:15.05] | Hey. |
| [09:18.79] | I know you' re pissed at me, but we have to talk about this. |
| [09:21.82] | Actually, we don' t. |
| [09:25.06] | Fine. Okay. But I gotta say, technically, I didn' t even do anything wrong. |
| [09:30.57] | What? You didn' t do anything wrong? |
| [09:33.90] | I said I didn' t technically. Okay. |
| [09:37.74] | Let' s put aside the fact that you " accidentally".. |
| [09:40.21] | picked up my grandmother' s ring and you " accidentally" proposed to Rachel. |
| [09:44.95] | Can I just stop you there for a second? |
| [09:47.08] | When people do this: |
| [09:48.65] | I don' t really know what that means. |
| [09:56.79] | You were saying? |
| [09:58.26] | And I could even understand that you couldn' t tell Rachel. |
| [10:02.13] | But why couldn' t you tell me? You had all day to, and you didn' t. |
| [10:06.37] | I know. I should' ve. " I' m sorry." |
| [10:15.98] | Not using it right, Joe. |
| [10:19.15] | " I' m sorry." " |
| [10:24.29] | I' m gonna go. No, come on. |
| [10:25.82] | Ross, we have to get past this. Give me the bag. |
| [10:28.16] | No, I don' t know what else to do. I said I' m sorry, now.. |
| [10:31.53] | Now you should scream at me or curse me or hit me. |
| [10:34.70] | I' m not gonna hit you. You' ll feel better. I' ll feel better. |
| [10:37.97] | You know you want to, I can see it in your eyes. |
| [10:41.84] | I don' t. A little bit. |
| [10:43.27] | No. Little bit. |
| [10:46.31] | No. A little bit more. |
| [10:48.68] | Give me the bag. Give me the bag. No, hit me. Hit me. |
| [10:51.48] | Give me the bag. I' m not kidding. Hit me. |
| [10:53.78] | No. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me! |
| [11:08.10] | You ducked! I' m sorry! It was a reflex! |
| [11:11.67] | Oh, my God! This really hurts! I couldn' t help it. |
| [11:15.27] | When a fist comes at your face, you duck. Look. |
| [11:21.24] | What is the matter with you? |
| [11:23.98] | You were supposed to duck! Why didn' t you? |
| [11:26.25] | Let' s talk on the way to the hospital. |
| [11:28.42] | Good. Yeah, maybe while we' re there, they can check your reflexes. |
| [11:47.77] | Try feeding her again. I already fed her. |
| [11:50.94] | I know. That' s why I said, " Again!" |
| [11:54.78] | You guys, we can' t turn on each other, okay? |
| [11:57.21] | That' s just what she wants. |
| [12:00.21] | Hi. Hey. |
| [12:02.32] | I told you you shouldn' t have let her watch Terms of Endearment. |
| [12:06.19] | Can I talk to you outside? Just stay here. |
| [12:08.96] | I' m gonna check her diaper. Phoebe, you want to come? |
| [12:11.53] | I' m kind of part of this. |
| [12:16.66] | Actually, it' s a husbandandwife kind of thing. |
| [12:19.20] | I knew I should' ve married Chandler. |
| [12:23.40] | Okay, what' s up? Okay. |
| [12:26.31] | You know we said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? |
| [12:29.24] | And you could study French cooking, and I could write.. |
| [12:32.08] | and we could picnic along the Seine, and go winetasting in Bordeaux. |
| [12:36.55] | Yeah. Okay. |
| [12:38.85] | You know how people say that Tulsa.. |
| [12:43.86] | is the Paris of Oklahoma? |
| [12:48.56] | What? Who says that? |
| [12:51.13] | People who have never been to Paris? |
| [12:54.54] | Well, what' s going on? We' re moving to Tulsa. |
| [13:01.44] | Excuse me? Okay. |
| [13:03.94] | Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss. |
| [13:06.91] | I think you actually met her. Don' t care. Get back to Tulsa. |
| [13:10.15] | She asked me to move to Tulsa and be president of our office there. |
| [13:13.92] | And I was sleeping and apparently said yes. |
| [13:17.36] | Tulsa, Oklahoma? The Sooner State. |
| [13:22.43] | Whatever that is. |
| [13:24.60] | Chandler, I don' t even want to see the musical Oklahoma. |
| [13:27.97] | " Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, " " Surrey With the Fringe on Top"? |
| [13:31.01] | Are you trying to tell me we' re moving to Oklahoma or that you' re gay? |
| [13:38.25] | I don' t think I can get out of this. |
| [13:40.31] | Oh, my God! But you don' t know.. |
| [13:42.82] | it could be like Paris. You can still take a cooking class.. |
| [13:45.82] | at Oral Roberts University. |
| [13:49.36] | All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise? |
| [13:53.33] | No. But they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. |
| [13:59.43] | I' ll get out of it. Thank you. |
| [14:02.80] | What is wrong with Emma? She misunderstood. |
| [14:04.84] | She thought she was moving to Tulsa. |
| [14:11.58] | Ma' am, do you have a minute? |
| [14:14.38] | I kind of have some bad news. I don' t think I can move to Tulsa. |
| [14:19.29] | What? It' s a funny story, actually. |
| [14:24.73] | I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning. |
| [14:28.30] | So when I said I' d move to Tulsa, I didn' t really know what I was saying. |
| [14:32.03] | You fell asleep? |
| [14:33.40] | But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting. |
| [14:36.24] | Isn' t that funny? |
| [14:39.51] | Irony. Not a fan? All right. |
| [14:44.11] | See, here' s the thing. |
| [14:45.65] | I went home and told my wife about Tulsa, and she won' t go. |
| [14:49.28] | See me, I love Tulsa. Tulsa is heaven. Tulsa is ltaly. |
| [14:53.32] | Please don' t make me go there. |
| [14:55.59] | Chandler, I.. I know that you' re upset. |
| [14:58.73] | but I just.. I would really rather just stay here. |
| [15:04.06] | Not here in your office.. |
| [15:06.13] | here at the company.. |
| [15:08.14] | where I' m rapidly feeling unwelcome. |
| [15:12.07] | No, look, Carol. Can I call you Carol? |
| [15:17.21] | Why would I when your name is Elaine? |
| [15:24.79] | What a great picture of your son. Strapping. |
| [15:29.39] | That' s a picture of your daughter, isn' t it? |
| [15:32.66] | Well, she' s lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. |
| [15:39.03] | I' ll call you from Tulsa. |
| [15:45.77] | Hey. So how is it? |
| [15:48.48] | I broke my thumb. Your thumb? |
| [15:54.92] | That' s weird. Are you sure you' re punching right? |
| [15:57.82] | Make a fist. |
| [16:01.16] | Maybe later. |
| [16:03.32] | Ross, I feel terrible. |
| [16:05.23] | You know what, you can go. I just have to fill out some forms. |
| [16:14.44] | You want me to help you with that? |
| [16:16.47] | Why, does it look like I' m having trouble with my misshapen claw? |
| [16:23.71] | Name? |
| [16:27.18] | No, I know Ross. But what' s it short for? |
| [16:30.22] | You know, like Rossell. |
| [16:32.89] | Or Rosstrophor. |
| [16:37.02] | Just Ross. |
| [16:40.19] | It' s pretty. |
| [16:42.90] | Okay, date of birth? You know my birthday. |
| [16:46.40] | Sure. |
| [16:48.90] | May.. tember? |
| [16:53.37] | October 18. Occupation? Dinosaurs. |
| [17:00.11] | Actually, I' m a paleon.. Dinosaurs is fine. |
| [17:06.05] | The drawing is not. |
| [17:12.39] | All right, who do you want as your emergency contact? |
| [17:16.73] | Rachel, I guess. Okay. Relationship? |
| [17:20.20] | Boy, this could take a while. |
| [17:26.27] | Just put roommate. Come on. |
| [17:28.58] | You guys are more than that. You' re gonna get together, right? |
| [17:32.28] | I don' t think that we are. |
| [17:36.38] | But you two are supposed to be together. |
| [17:38.75] | Well, I thought so too. But then she said she' d marry you. |
| [17:42.32] | Come on, Ross, that didn' t mean anything. |
| [17:44.79] | She' d just had the baby. She was freaked out about doing it alone. |
| [17:47.83] | She would have said yes to anybody. Yeah, that' s what she said. |
| [17:52.07] | So? So I don' t want to be just anybody. |
| [17:58.64] | Wow. You know what? |
| [18:00.34] | It' s better this way anyway. |
| [18:04.75] | I don' t know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. |
| [18:07.82] | It' s just much easier if we' re just friends who have a kid. |
| [18:13.69] | Really? Yeah. |
| [18:16.12] | And you' re okay with that? Yes. That' s what we always planned. |
| [18:20.03] | And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. |
| [18:22.76] | That' s why they call them plans. Hello? |
| [18:28.70] | I' m fine. |
| [18:31.34] | Hey, for what it' s worth.. |
| [18:33.27] | with Rachel, I don' t think you' ll ever be just " anybody." |
| [18:38.05] | Hey, there you go. |
| [18:42.52] | " Thanks. |
| [18:49.72] | Oh, my God. How long has she been crying? |
| [18:53.36] | About a week and a half. |
| [18:56.03] | Well, it looks like you guys got it under control, so I' m just gonna go. |
| [19:01.87] | No? Really? Misery really does love company? |
| [19:05.31] | All right. |
| [19:08.38] | Try holding her a different way. Look, I' m doing the best I can. |
| [19:12.18] | Anyone else is welcome to try. All right, I' ll try. Fine. |
| [19:15.52] | Yes. Okay. Okay. Here you go. |
| [19:18.02] | Hey. Oh, gosh. |
| [19:20.89] | Nothing works with this child! |
| [19:24.22] | God, what am I gonna do, you guys? I can' t even comfort my own baby. |
| [19:28.33] | I' m the worst mother ever. No, you' re just new at this. |
| [19:31.20] | You' ll get better. Think about your first day at work. |
| [19:34.60] | That couldn' t have been easy, but you figured that out. |
| [19:37.34] | Yeah, I don' t think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! |
| [19:42.24] | God, just please take her. Okay, I' ll take her. Come on. |
| [19:46.05] | Oh, boy, I have to go to the bathroom. |
| [19:49.15] | I have to go scream into a pillow. |
| [19:55.86] | Bouncy. Bouncy baby. Bouncy baby. |
| [20:00.13] | Oh, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby. |
| [20:05.13] | Oh, baby, baby, baby. |
| [20:10.17] | Have I gone deaf? |
| [20:14.81] | It worked. Oh, baby, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby, baby. |
| [20:20.98] | You must be a fireball in bed! |
| [20:25.32] | I can' t believe it. She' s asleep. I got her to go to sleep. |
| [20:31.29] | I have actual magical powers. |
| [20:35.66] | I can hear traffic and birds. |
| [20:38.33] | I can hear the voices in my head again. |
| [20:42.97] | I' m kidding. |
| [20:47.98] | Oh, my God! You got her to stop crying! |
| [20:52.01] | Yes, I did. I' m Monica, super aunt. |
| [20:56.65] | You are the official babycrier stopper. Yes, I am. |
| [21:01.49] | You' re never leaving the apartment. Say what? |
| [21:05.23] | That' s your new job, day or night. She starts crying, I need you here. |
| [21:09.73] | No, no, no. Thankfully, you don' t need me at all. |
| [21:13.63] | So okay. Hey, super aunt? See you later. |
| [21:17.94] | Rachel? Let' s give it six to eight months. |
| [21:30.45] | Okay, so listen, I' m gonna go lay down. |
| [21:34.05] | What? |
| [21:35.32] | The book says whenever she' s sleeping, I should be sleeping. |
| [21:38.39] | So.. |
| [21:41.70] | Thank you. |
| [21:46.47] | Hey. |
| [21:48.50] | We just got her to go to sleep. So there can' t be any yelling? |
| [21:54.78] | No. |
| [21:59.58] | We' re moving to Tulsa. What? |
| [22:05.85] | I can' t.. I can' t hear. |
| [22:14.53] | Hey. Hey. Where have you been? |
| [22:20.57] | What happened to you? I had a little thing with Joey. |
| [22:24.27] | If you think this is bad, you should see him. |
| [22:28.04] | No, Ross, this is not good. |
| [22:30.54] | We have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. |
| [22:38.09] | All right, you have got to get over this Joey thing. |
| [22:42.22] | Okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay? |
| [22:49.16] | Okay. |
| [22:52.10] | You know what I really, really want? |
| [22:56.90] | What, Rach? |
| [23:00.07] | I wanna sleep. |
| [23:03.64] | I wanna eat. I wanna take a shower. |
| [23:09.25] | I mean, before she wakes up, and we gotta do this all over again. |
| [23:13.59] | Right. I mean, because I got news for you. |
| [23:17.02] | Emma: not easy. |
| [23:21.09] | Well, that' s what I' m here for. |
| [23:28.20] | You want me to get that? No, that' s really okay. |
| [23:31.44] | Monica? Got it, got it, got it, got it. |
| [23:45.45] | I' ve been thinking about this. And I gotta tell you, it' s not my fault. |
| [23:49.29] | It' s a natural instinct. What are you talking about? |
| [23:52.13] | Okay, what would you do if I did this? |
| [00:02.33] | 你答应要嫁给乔伊？ |
| [00:04.93] | 你要知道我可是累坏了 当时我很情绪化 |
| [00:08.47] | 任何人求婚，我都会答应的 |
| [00:10.34] | 就像上次你向我求婚一样 |
| [00:15.34] | 我转不过来了 |
| [00:17.68] | 你才刚生下我们的小孩 却答应要嫁给他？ |
| [00:22.35] | 没错，而且按照习俗 父亲应该要送母亲一个礼物的 |
| [00:26.52] | 但是我不打算跟你计较 |
| [00:29.79] | 所以当我过来看你 是否愿意重新来过… |
| [00:33.80] | 你已经跟我最要好的朋友订婚了？ |
| [00:37.37] | 嗯… |
| [00:38.90] | 真的吗？ |
| [00:40.77] | 我以为钱德才是你最要好的朋友 |
| [00:43.54] | 钱德是我的老朋友 乔伊是我…不！ |
| [00:49.54] | 嘿，我要走了 进来说一声再见 |
| [00:52.38] | 瑞秋答应要嫁给你？ |
| [00:55.32] | 我走错房间了，不好意思 |
| [01:00.02] | |
| [01:52.34] | 我不想太机车，所以我要说 你挑的标语大部分都是很棒的 |
| [01:58.25] | 我是女生！”卖完了 但是我可以处理一下的 |
| [02:06.45] | （我不是男生！） |
| [02:08.06] | 瞧？怎样？ |
| [02:12.79] | 真性感 |
| [02:15.46] | -亲爱的？ -什么？ |
| [02:19.63] | 亲爱的，你何不去躺下休息呢？ -没关系 |
| [02:21.77] | 罗斯跟瑞秋很快就要回来了 然后我得要进办公室 |
| [02:29.81] | 这是从我嘴里长的吗？ |
| [02:33.11] | 你为什么这样累呢？ -我昨晚无法入睡 |
| [02:35.88] | 我很担心今天的大型部门会议 |
| [02:39.09] | 我越是担心 越是没有办法入睡 |
| [02:41.59] | 你知道的，我会想 如果现在睡着，我顶多睡六小时 |
| [02:45.66] | 但是如果我现在睡着 我顶多睡五个小时 |
| [02:49.03] | 无论我怎么试，就是睡不着 |
| [02:51.53] | 你知道你应该做什么吗？ |
| [02:53.90] | 对你自己讲那个小故事 |
| [02:57.67] | . -嗨 -嘿 |
| [02:59.14] | 欢迎回家 -嗨 |
| [03:00.78] | 标示是菲比做的 |
| [03:03.14] | 你们，真是太谢谢你们了 |
| [03:07.05] | 瞧瞧大家送来的礼物 |
| [03:10.29] | 喔，我的天啊 这正是每个母亲所需要的 |
| [03:13.52] | 一个挤爆整间公寓的大型黑猩猩娃娃 |
| [03:18.13] | 真搞不懂有些人在想…？ 你们大家，我真是太喜欢了 |
| [03:24.87] | 嘿，罗斯在哪呢？ |
| [03:26.80] | 他在楼下把东西搬出计程车 |
| [03:29.30] | 他还在气我们两个吗？ -气你多过于我 |
| [03:32.07] | 他总不能一直跟我生气 我才刚生下他的小孩耶 |
| [03:35.31] | 太不公平了，我又不会生 |
| [03:38.48] | 我不知道他上来时 你应不应该在场 |
| [03:40.98] | 我也不认为我该在场 但有人跟我说罗斯应该已经释怀了 |
| [03:45.25] | 嘿，我怎么会知道呢？ 我只是想要买大只一点的黑猩猩啊 |
| [03:54.13] | 我们在芝加哥、纽约 与伦敦的业绩都很扎实 |
| [03:57.97] | 但是我们许多分公司已经呈报衰退 |
| [04:08.24] | 波士顿衰退、亚特兰大衰退 休士顿衰退 |
| [04:11.08] | 我可以一直念下去 但是为了不要让你们觉得无趣 |
| [04:14.05] | 我直接说明我的四十二点计划好了 |
| [04:27.56] | 华特 |
| [04:31.17] | 她真是太可爱了 |
| [04:33.70] | 我真想咬下她的耳朵 当成糖果一样吸 |
| [04:39.41] | 菲比 |
| [04:40.98] | 但是我可以把这些小脚 放到面饼里面 |
| [04:46.18] | 好了，我把大部分的东西都放好了 -喔，太好了，奶嘴呢？ |
| [04:49.78] | 在柜橱里 -打嗝围兜？ |
| [04:53.05] | -毛巾橱里 -尿布？ |
| [04:56.06] | 在医院 |
| [04:59.19] | 哇，你们有间医院？真酷 -不，我把尿布忘在医院了 |
| [05:04.27] | 在袋子里面还有一些 但是我现在就出去多买一些 |
| [05:07.20] | 好的，谢谢 |
| [05:08.60] | 经过咖啡屋时可以帮我买个松饼吗？ |
| [05:11.07] | 当然，什么口味的？ -让我想想 |
| [05:14.61] | 我要什么口味呢？ |
| [05:17.55] | 我要什么口味呢？ |
| [05:20.32] | 请你慢慢想 这是非常重要的决定，不像是… |
| [05:23.42] | 决定要嫁给谁那样简单 这是松饼喔 |
| [05:30.93] | 蓝莓的 -好吧，蓝莓 |
| [05:33.03] | 谢谢你 |
| [05:36.16] | 哇，他还在记恨，对吧？ |
| [05:38.33] | 天啊，你觉得这会持续多久呢？ |
| [05:40.84] | 我不知道，他倒是对“暂时分手一下” 那件事，释怀的挺快的 |
| [05:46.07] | 你们知道吗？ 我现在无法去担心那件事 |
| [05:48.64] | 因为我有了这个可爱的小宝贝 |
| [05:53.15] | 我无法相信我是这样的爱她 我是说，我太爱她了 |
| [05:57.42] | 就像现在，我好想她 我真的好想她 |
| [06:00.82] | 你知道吗？她就在这里 |
| [06:04.86] | 我知道，但是她在睡觉 |
| [06:07.96] | 如果她醒着，我就可以看她扭来扭去的 |
| [06:12.07] | 喔，天啊，看到她打哈欠没？ |
| [06:14.00] | 真是太可爱了 -真的是 |
| [06:18.07] | 你们觉得她什么时候会醒来？ |
| [06:20.07] | 她告诉我，如果她十一点还没醒 要我打电话给她 |
| [06:22.71] | 她有个面试要去 |
| [06:29.25] | 好的，但是当她打哈欠时 乌云都消散了 |
| [06:34.39] | 天啊，瞧她睡着的样子 我好爱她 |
| [06:38.99] | 我想我要把她吵醒 -瑞秋，不要 |
| [06:41.16] | 你永远都不应该吵醒熟睡的婴儿 |
| [06:44.30] | 我可以高兴怎样做就怎样做 她是我生的 |
| [06:48.24] | 来吧，小女孩 是的，哈啰，艾犸，哈啰，嗨 |
| [06:58.01] | 我应该说我早就告诉过你了 但是她已经帮我说了 |
| [07:02.85] | 我很抱歉，妈咪很抱歉 再睡吧 |
| [07:06.15] | 再睡觉吧 |
| [07:08.72] | 这真是令人心疼，不是吗？ -没错 |
| [07:13.39] | 你认为我们还要呆多久？ |
| [07:18.07] | 好了，如果每个人都各就各位 那就搞定了 |
| [07:20.64] | 钱德？ |
| [07:28.94] | -钱德？ -怎样 |
| [07:30.28] | 你要就位了吗？ |
| [07:33.41] | 是的 |
| [07:35.78] | 那么问题就解决了 钱德会负责我们在土尔沙的办公室 |
| [07:39.45] | 你会喜欢奥克拉荷马的 |
| [07:45.69] | 好了，我们已经喂过她了 换过尿布、帮她打嗝了… |
| [07:49.63] | 试试看这个 回去听听菲比的话吧 |
| [07:55.87] | -好了，试试看这个 -什么？ |
| [07:57.81] | 这里说试着把婴儿抱起，贴近身体… |
| [08:00.37] | 然后快速的左右摇 |
| [08:04.05] | 好的 |
| [08:14.19] | 太有效了！ |
| [08:17.66] | 不，只是让她吐了一点奶 |
| [08:22.33] | 摩妮卡，我应该怎么办呢？ |
| [08:23.87] | 已经好几个小时了 它就是哭个不停 |
| [08:28.67] | 她，瑞秋，不是它，是她 -是喔，我可不太确定了 |
| [08:34.18] | 喔，我的天啊，我快疯了 -是啊，说得没错 |
| [08:37.38] | 这正好证明跟罗斯缠绵 绝对没有好事会发生 |
| [08:46.15] | 嘿，阿甘，我要外带几个蓝莓松饼 |
| [08:50.53] | . -尿布，是吧？ -是的 |
| [08:52.73] | 我猜瑞秋生下你的小孩了 |
| [08:55.36] | . -是啊，你能相信吗？ -不能 |
| [08:59.23] | 首先我就不能相信 她竟然会跟你上床 |
| [09:05.41] | 你是说，像是… |
| [09:15.05] | 嘿 |
| [09:18.79] | 我知道你生我的气 但是我们必须谈一谈 |
| [09:21.82] | 事实上我们不需要 |
| [09:25.06] | 随便，但是我要说 技术上而言，我并没有做错什么 |
| [09:30.57] | 什么？你并没有做错什么？ |
| [09:33.90] | 我说是技术上而言 -好的 |
| [09:37.74] | 我们暂时不管你“不小心”… |
| [09:40.21] | 捡起我祖母的戒指，然后又 “不小心”跟瑞秋求婚 |
| [09:44.95] | 我可以先打断你一下吗？ |
| [09:47.08] | 当有人做这个动作时… |
| [09:48.65] | 我真的不知道是什么意思 |
| [09:56.79] | 你刚刚说什么？ |
| [09:58.26] | 我还可以谅解你没有跟瑞秋解释 |
| [10:02.13] | 但是为什么你没有告诉我呢？ 你有一整天可以说，你却没有 |
| [10:06.37] | 我知道，我应该说“我很抱歉” |
| [10:15.98] | 你用错地方了，乔伊 |
| [10:19.15] | 我很抱歉” |
| [10:24.29] | 我要走了 -不，别这样 |
| [10:25.82] | 罗斯，我们必须要放下这件事 -把袋子给我 |
| [10:28.16] | 不，我不知道还能怎样 我已经道歉了，现在… |
| [10:31.53] | 现在你应该对我吼叫、咒骂 或是打我 |
| [10:34.70] | 我不会打你的 -你会比较好过，我也会比较好过 |
| [10:37.97] | 你知道，你想打我 我从你眼中看得出来 |
| [10:41.84] | 我不想 -有一点 |
| [10:43.27] | 不想 -有一点 |
| [10:46.31] | 不想 -多一点了 |
| [10:48.68] | 把那个袋子给我，把袋子给我 -不，打我，打我 |
| [10:51.48] | 给我袋子，给我袋子 -打我 |
| [10:53.78] | -不 -打我，打我，打我！ |
| [11:08.10] | 你闪开了！ -我很抱歉！这是反射动作！ |
| [11:11.67] | -喔，天啊！真的好痛！ -我不得不闪哪！ |
| [11:15.27] | 当有拳头要打上你的脸 你会闪啊，瞧 |
| [11:21.24] | 你是怎么搞的？ |
| [11:23.98] | 你应该要闪的！为什么没闪呢？ |
| [11:26.25] | 我们去医院的路上再谈 |
| [11:28.42] | 好，是啊，或许当我们过去的时候 他们可以检查一下你的反射神经 |
| [11:47.77] | 再喂她看看 -我已经喂过了 |
| [11:50.94] | 我知道，所以我说“再” |
| [11:54.78] | 你们，我们不可以窝里反，好吗？ |
| [11:57.21] | 这正是她想要的 |
| [12:00.21] | -嗨 -嘿 |
| [12:02.32] | 我告诉过你别让她看《亲情关系》 |
| [12:06.19] | 我们可以到外面谈谈吗？ -待在这里 |
| [12:08.96] | 我要去检查她的尿布 菲比，你要不要一起来呢？ |
| [12:11.53] | 这事与我也有关 |
| [12:16.66] | 事实上，这是夫妻两人之间的事 |
| [12:19.20] | 我就知道我应该嫁给钱德的 |
| [12:23.40] | -好了，怎么回事呢？ -好的 |
| [12:26.31] | 我们曾经讨论过如果能搬到巴黎 住一年一定会很棒 |
| [12:29.24] | 你可以学习法式烹饪 我可以写作… |
| [12:32.08] | 我们可以在塞纳河畔野餐 去波尔多品酒 |
| [12:36.55] | -是啊 -很好 |
| [12:38.85] | 你知道有些人说土尔沙… |
| [12:43.86] | 就像是奥克拉荷马州的巴黎吗？ |
| [12:48.56] | 什么？是谁说的？ |
| [12:51.13] | 那些从没去过巴黎的人说的 |
| [12:54.54] | 到底是怎么回事？ -我们要搬去土尔沙了 |
| [13:01.44] | -你说什么？ -好吧 |
| [13:03.94] | 我老板的上司，麦肯纳小姐 |
| [13:06.91] | 我想你应该见过她 -我不在乎，快说土尔沙是怎么回事 |
| [13:10.15] | 她要我搬到土尔沙 去当那边分公司的总经理 |
| [13:13.92] | 我当时正在打瞌睡，然后 显然我是答应她了 |
| [13:17.36] | 奥克拉荷马州的土尔沙？ -早到者之州 |
| [13:22.43] | 不管那是什么东东 |
| [13:24.60] | 钱德，我连歌舞剧《奥克拉荷马》 都不想看 |
| [13:27.97] | “喔，美妙的早晨” “坐在马车上头”（奥剧内容） |
| [13:31.01] | 你是在说我们要搬去奥克拉荷马 还是说你是同性恋？ |
| [13:38.25] | 我想我可能躲不掉了 |
| [13:40.31] | -喔，天啊！ -但是你不知道… |
| [13:42.82] | 土尔沙可能会像巴黎一样 你还是可以在当地的大学… |
| [13:45.82] | 上烹饪课 |
| [13:49.36] | 好吧，这些都没关系 但至少他们有帮你加薪吧？ |
| [13:53.33] | 没有，但是他们会 帮我们租一台福特小车 |
| [13:59.43] | 我会试着脱身 -谢谢 |
| [14:02.80] | 艾犸是怎么了？ -她误会了 |
| [14:04.84] | 她以为是她要搬到土尔沙 |
| [14:11.58] | 请问您现在有空吗？ |
| [14:14.38] | 我有些坏消息 我想我不能去土尔沙了 |
| [14:19.29] | 什么？ -事实上这是件很好笑的事 |
| [14:24.73] | 我在今天早上的会议上睡着了 |
| [14:28.30] | 所以当我说我可以搬到土尔沙时 我根本不知道我在说什么 |
| [14:32.03] | 你睡着了？ |
| [14:33.40] | 但那是因为我整晚为会议担心而失眠 |
| [14:36.24] | 是不是很好笑呢？ |
| [14:39.51] | 很讽刺，不好笑？好吧 |
| [14:44.11] | 好吧，事情是这样的 |
| [14:45.65] | 我回家告诉我老婆土尔沙的事 但是她不想去 |
| [14:49.28] | 至于我，我爱死土尔沙了 土尔沙是天堂，土尔沙是意大利 |
| [14:53.32] | 拜托别逼我搬去那里 |
| [14:55.59] | . -钱德，我… -我知道你很不高兴… |
| [14:58.73] | 但是我只是… 我真的宁可留在这里 |
| [15:04.06] | 不是说在你的办公室这里… |
| [15:06.13] | 而是在这里的这间公司 |
| [15:08.14] | 我在这里超有归属感的 |
| [15:12.07] | 听着，凯萝 我可以叫你凯萝吗？ |
| [15:17.21] | 我真不应该 因为你的名字是依莲 |
| [15:24.79] | 你儿子拍得真棒，雄壮威武 |
| [15:29.39] | 是你女儿的照片，对吧？ |
| [15:32.66] | 她真是甜美 我喜欢有坚毅下巴的女孩 |
| [15:39.03] | 我会从土尔沙打电话给你的 |
| [15:45.77] | 嘿，怎样呢？ |
| [15:48.48] | 我的拇指断了 -你的拇指？ |
| [15:54.92] | 真是奇怪，你确定 你出拳的方式是正确的吗？ |
| [15:57.82] | 握拳 |
| [16:01.16] | 或许等一下好了 |
| [16:03.32] | 罗斯，我觉得很糟糕 |
| [16:05.23] | 你可以走了 我只要填一些表格就可以了 |
| [16:14.44] | 需要我帮忙吗？ |
| [16:16.47] | 为什么？我看起来像是没办法 使用我的畸形爪子吗？ |
| [16:23.71] | 姓名？ |
| [16:27.18] | 我知道罗斯 但是那是什么的简称呢？ |
| [16:30.22] | 你知道的，像是罗素 |
| [16:32.89] | 或是罗斯多福 |
| [16:37.02] | 就是罗斯 |
| [16:40.19] | 好名字 |
| [16:42.90] | 好了，生日呢？ -你知道我生日的 |
| [16:46.40] | 当然 |
| [16:48.90] | 五…九月？ |
| [16:53.37] | 十月十八日 -职业？恐龙 |
| [17:00.11] | 事实上我是古生物… 恐龙也可以啦 |
| [17:06.05] | 图画的并不是 |
| [17:12.39] | 好了，紧急联络人是谁呢？ |
| [17:16.73] | 瑞秋，我想应该是吧 -好的，关系呢？ |
| [17:20.20] | 天啊，这可能要花上一点时间 |
| [17:26.27] | 写室友 -少来了 |
| [17:28.58] | 你们比室友还更进一步 你们要在一起了，不是吗？ |
| [17:32.28] | 我不认为我们有要在一起 |
| [17:36.38] | 但是你们应该要在一起的 |
| [17:38.75] | 我也这样想过 但是她却答应要嫁给你 |
| [17:42.32] | 别这样，罗斯 那根本没有什么 |
| [17:44.79] | 她才刚生产完吓坏了 要独自扛起一切 |
| [17:47.83] | 任何人求婚，她都会答应的 -是啊，她也是这样说 |
| [17:52.07] | 所以呢？ -所以我不想要当任何人 |
| [17:58.64] | -哇 -你知道吗？ |
| [18:00.34] | 反正这样也比较好 |
| [18:04.75] | 我不知道我在想什么 再回到之前的关系 |
| [18:07.82] | 如果我们纯粹做朋友，只是有个小孩 那事情就会简单多了 |
| [18:13.69] | -真的吗？ -是啊 |
| [18:16.12] | 你这样没关系吗？ -是啊，这本来就是我们的计划 |
| [18:20.03] | 如果你有计划，你就应该照计划执行 |
| [18:22.76] | 这就是计划的意义，不是吗？ |
| [18:28.70] | 我没事的 |
| [18:31.34] | 嘿，关于瑞秋… |
| [18:33.27] | 我不认为你会只是“任何人”而已 |
| [18:38.05] | 嘿，你做对了 |
| [18:42.52] | " “谢谢” |
| [18:49.72] | 喔，天啊，她哭多久了？ |
| [18:53.36] | 大约一个半星期 |
| [18:56.03] | 看起来你们都已经处理好了 所以我先回去了 |
| [19:01.87] | 不好吗？真的？ 一定要有人共享悲惨命运吗？ |
| [19:05.31] | 好吧 |
| [19:08.38] | 试着用另一种方式抱她 -我已经尽力而为了 |
| [19:12.18] | 任何人都欢迎来试试看 -好吧，我来试试看 |
| [19:15.52] | -好了，好的，好的 -抱去吧 |
| [19:18.02] | 嘿，喔，天啊 |
| [19:20.89] | 这小孩什么都没用！ |
| [19:24.22] | 天啊，我该怎么办呢？ 我根本照顾不了我自己的孩子 |
| [19:28.33] | 我是史上最糟的母亲 -不，你只不过是不熟悉罢了 |
| [19:31.20] | 你会克服的 想想你第一天上班的时候 |
| [19:34.60] | 那也不是很简单的事 但你也摆平了啊 |
| [19:37.34] | 是啊，我不认为穿得辣一点 对现在的情况会有帮助！ |
| [19:42.24] | 天啊，请帮我抱一下 -好，我来抱，来吧 |
| [19:46.05] | 喔，天啊，我要去上一下厕所 |
| [19:49.15] | 我要去枕头堆里吼一吼 |
| [19:55.86] | 活泼，活泼的宝贝，活泼的宝贝 |
| [20:00.13] | 喔，宝贝，宝贝，喔，宝贝，宝贝 |
| [20:05.13] | 喔，宝贝，宝贝，宝贝 |
| [20:10.17] | 我聋了吗？ |
| [20:14.81] | 有效了，喔，宝贝，宝贝，宝贝 喔，宝贝，宝贝，宝贝 |
| [20:20.98] | 你在床上一定像个火球！ |
| [20:25.32] | 我不敢相信，她睡着了 我让她睡着了 |
| [20:31.29] | 我真的有神奇的魔力 |
| [20:35.66] | 我可以听到汽车跟鸟叫声 |
| [20:38.33] | 我又再度听到我脑海中的声音了 |
| [20:42.97] | 开玩笑的 |
| [20:47.98] | 喔，我的天！ 你让她不再哭了！ |
| [20:52.01] | 是的，我办到了 我是超级姑姑摩妮卡 |
| [20:56.65] | 你是正式的婴儿止哭专家 -是啊，我正是 |
| [21:01.49] | 你永远都不能离开这间公寓了 -什么？ |
| [21:05.23] | 这是你的新工作，日夜兼顾 只要她一哭，我就需要你在这里 |
| [21:09.73] | 不，不，不 -很庆幸，你一点都不需要我 |
| [21:13.63] | 那么，嘿，超级姑姑 下次见啰 |
| [21:17.94] | 瑞秋，我们试试看六到八个月 |
| [21:30.45] | 好的，听着，我要去睡一下 |
| [21:34.05] | 什么？ |
| [21:35.32] | 书上说只要她一睡 我也应该要睡 |
| [21:38.39] | 所以… |
| [21:41.70] | 谢谢你 |
| [21:46.47] | 嘿 |
| [21:48.50] | 我们才刚让她睡着 -所以现在不能大声吼叫啰？ |
| [21:54.78] | 没错 |
| [21:59.58] | 我们要搬去土尔沙了 -什么？ |
| [22:05.85] | 我…我听不到 |
| [22:14.53] | -嘿 -嘿，你去哪了？ |
| [22:20.57] | 发生什么事了？ -我跟乔伊打了起来 |
| [22:24.27] | 如果你认为这很糟糕 你应该看看乔伊 |
| [22:28.04] | 不，罗斯，这真的很糟 |
| [22:30.54] | 我们必须谈谈乔伊这件事，请坐下 |
| [22:38.09] | 好了，你必须放下乔伊这件事 |
| [22:42.22] | 好吗？我从未真的 想要嫁给乔伊，好吗？ |
| [22:49.16] | 好的 |
| [22:52.10] | 你知道我真的很想、很想要什么吗？ |
| [22:56.90] | 什么？ |
| [23:00.07] | 我想要睡觉 |
| [23:03.64] | 我想要吃东西，我想要洗澡 |
| [23:09.25] | 我是说，她醒来以后 我们又有得忙了 |
| [23:13.59] | 没错 -因为我必须告诉你 |
| [23:17.02] | 艾犸，一点都不好带 |
| [23:21.09] | 那正是我在这里的用意 |
| [23:28.20] | 你要我去吗？ -不，真的没关系 |
| [23:31.44] | -摩妮卡？ -来了，来了，来了 |
| [23:45.45] | 我一直在想 而且我要告诉你，这不是我的错 |
| [23:49.29] | 那是自然的本能 -你们在说什么？ |
| [23:52.13] | 好吧，如果我这样你会怎么做？ |
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