[00:03.530] | - Hey. - Hi. - |
[00:06.770] | Phoebe, what's wrong? |
[00:08.440] | I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this huge engagement ring. |
[00:12.140] | - Oh, my God. - Congratulations. - |
[00:15.080] | So did he get on one knee? Did he have a speech prepared? |
[00:18.280] | Oh, did he cry? |
[00:22.220] | Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals. |
[00:26.120] | Well, it was really sweet, and, like, the most romantic thing ever. |
[00:30.490] | Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world. |
[00:33.960] | To Phoebe and.. |
[00:35.300] | I want to say "Mike"? |
[00:38.000] | - To Phoebe and Mike. - Hey. - |
[00:40.670] | Thank you. Oh, and I have something for you. |
[00:43.510] | It's my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated. |
[00:47.340] | Oh, Phoebe, that's nice, but you know what? I think I'm okay. |
[00:51.910] | Give it to one of your other single girlfriends. |
[00:54.250] | I would, but you're the last one. |
[00:58.350] | Give me the book! |
[01:01.360] | "Pablo Diaz. |
[01:03.390] | Brady Smith. |
[01:06.090] | Guy in Van"? |
[01:08.000] | Oh, my first love. |
[01:11.300] | What is the red X next to Bob Gremore's name mean? |
[01:14.740] | Dead. |
[01:17.870] | Oh, it's okay. No, he was old. Yeah. |
[01:21.510] | And he lived a full life. He was in the first wave at Omaha Beach. I should've given you guys my black book when I got married. |
[01:26.310] | And he lived a full life. He was in the first wave at Omaha Beach. I should've given you guys my black book when I got married. |
[01:29.350] | Although, it wasn't so much a book as a napkin.. |
[01:33.660] | With Janice's phone number on it. ...。 |
[01:36.760] | Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band? |
[01:43.830] | Oh, yes, they are. |
[02:35.980] | Hey, honey. |
[02:38.390] | Hey, sweetie. |
[02:40.520] | - Is Monica not here? - No. |
[02:42.360] | Then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account, and they got it. |
[02:46.290] | - It's my first national commercial. - Cool |
[02:48.900] | And I don't want to brag, but a lot of the ideas were mine. |
[02:52.100] | Hell, you weren't there. All the ideas were mine |
[02:55.570] | That's great. Hey, can you cast me in it? |
[02:59.540] | I really don't think you're right for the part. .. |
[03:02.280] | What do you mean? I can do anything. I'm a chameleon. |
[03:07.350] | I'm old. |
[03:10.920] | I'm tired. |
[03:12.790] | Oh, I am hot. I'm cold. Come on, what can't I do? |
[03:18.790] | First of all, bravo. |
[03:22.030] | But I don't think you're right for this. The part's a stuffy college professor. |
[03:26.130] | I can do that. Hello, I'm your professor. |
[03:30.310] | When I'm not busy thinking of important things, or professing.. |
[03:36.140] | I like to use.. What's the product? |
[03:38.310] | Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions. |
[03:47.020] | I'm cold. |
[03:51.530] | - Hey. - Hey. |
[03:53.230] | Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant? |
[03:55.900] | I'll give you a hint. He's looking right at you. |
[03:59.270] | Well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt.. |
[04:02.640] | I'm gonna say, "Congratulations |
[04:05.340] | I'm so excited. Apparently, I beat out hundreds of other applicants.. |
[04:10.040] | including five guys I went to graduate school with.。 |
[04:12.880] | Not that I'm keeping score, or anything. Five. |
[04:16.750] | - Wow, that's great. - Yeah. |
[04:18.590] | - So tell me about the grant. - Well, okay, it's for $25,000. |
[04:21.990] | And if I get it, I'll be able to complete my field research. |
[04:25.360] | And there will be an article about me in the Paleontology Review. |
[04:29.400] | It'll be the first time my name is in there.. |
[04:31.870] | without people raising serious questions about my work. |
[04:35.740] | - Are you talking about the Dewer Grant? - Yeah. Why? |
[04:39.070] | Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant. |
[04:41.410] | - Your ex-boyfriend? - Yeah. |
[04:43.710] | So your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? |
[04:48.280] | Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed. |
[04:51.320] | No. No, we ended on great terms. |
[04:53.820] | If anything, I think this could help you. You know what? |
[04:56.920] | Why don't we all go out to dinner, and I can introduce you. |
[04:59.960] | - If you think it'd help. - Yeah, absolutely. I'll call him. |
[05:03.030] | Now, is there anything I could do to butter him up? |
[05:05.930] | Anything he really likes? |
[05:08.970] | He does have a pretty serious latex fetish. |
[05:11.310] | We'll see how dinner goes. |
[05:17.380] | - Hey. - Hey, you want to go see a movie? |
[05:20.650] | I told you I had to spend all day clearing out stuff so Mike could move in. |
[05:24.420] | - Oh, right. - Yeah. - |
[05:26.120] | Now that I'm here, I might as well help with the cleaning and organizing. |
[05:30.790] | I just happen to have my label maker. |
[05:34.700] | Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff. |
[05:37.300] | Did you and Chandler make compromises when you moved in together? |
[05:40.940] | Chandler did. |
[05:43.440] | - What does he want you to give up? - A bunch of stuff. - |
[05:46.040] | And the worst one, he wants me to get rid of Gladys |
[05:49.680] | Who's Gladys? |
[05:55.650] | What a tragic loss. |
[05:58.120] | Yeah, I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know. Oh, you should take her. 就是说。我真的不 |
[06:06.890] | I don't know.... |
[06:08.630] | - What, you don't like her? - Of course I do. What's not to like? - |
[06:15.000] | I'd take her in a minute. |
[06:17.540] | But I think that you're giving up too easy. 但 |
[06:19.840] | Honey, I think that you need to fight for her. |
[06:23.240] | - Really, you think? - Absolutely. |
[06:25.610] | You say to him, "I'm sorry, Mike, I can't live without her. |
[06:28.780] | She means too much to me." |
[06:31.250] | Okay, I'll fight for her. Okay. |
[06:34.820] | Oh, wait. I just realized, if I do that, that means you don't get her. |
[06:38.530] | Damn it, I did not think this through. |
[06:44.530] | Emma, mom's got a snack for you. |
[06:53.610] | You know, every now and then, she might like some barbecue potato chips. |
[06:59.150] | - Hey, guys. - Hey. |
[07:01.020] | - Hi. - Hey, baby. |
[07:02.520] | Oh, any word on casting yet? |
[07:04.550] | - I told you, you're not right for the part. - What do you mean? |
[07:07.890] | Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from? |
[07:13.130] | I'm sorry, this sounds like something I'm never gonna be interested in |
[07:17.430] | Look, come on, please? It's not like I'm asking you for some crazy favor. |
[07:21.970] | This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor. |
[07:25.010] | Man, I'm two hours late for work. |
[07:28.840] | Here's my reel. It's got all the commercials that I've been in. |
[07:32.280] | - Joe.. - Just watch it. |
[07:34.080] | If you don't like it, don't pass it on to your bosses. |
[07:37.050] | - Fine. - Thank you. |
[07:43.930] | - Work, Joe. - Damn it. |
[07:49.930] | - What am I gonna do now? - Just pass the tape along. |
[07:52.600] | He's not right for the part. |
[07:54.600] | If I suggest him, my bosses will think I'm an idiot. |
[07:57.240] | And that's something they should learn on their own. |
[08:00.040] | Just tell Joey that you watched the tape.. |
[08:02.440] | and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. |
[08:04.610] | Then you're the good guy, and they're the bad guy. |
[08:07.220] | That's good. I liked it, they didn't.。 |
[08:11.990] | Joey, for God's sake, go to work. |
[08:20.060] | I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. |
[08:23.060] | I've always thought of him as someone I'd invite.. |
[08:25.670] | to my fantasy dinner party. |
[08:29.100] | Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C-3PO? |
[08:34.380] | Sorry, it looks like it's just him. |
[08:38.780] | Charlie. |
[08:42.580] | My God, you look absolutely stunning.。 |
[08:46.550] | Well, I am having a good hair day. |
[08:50.490] | - It's so good to see you. - Oh, you too. 。 |
[08:57.900] | I'm okay. |
[09:00.130] | I'm sorry. Ross Geller, Benjamin Hobart. |
[09:03.640] | It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long.. |
[09:06.940] | I've been an admirer of your work. I mean, that Nobel Prize. |
[09:13.550] | I mean, I have to tell you that you're one of the reasons I got into the field. |
[09:18.250] | Well, likewise |
[09:21.090] | Not likewise. I'd never heard of you until this morning. |
[09:24.060] | But it's nice to be nice. |
[09:27.730] | - Shall we? - Yeah. Thank you. - |
[09:33.940] | I can't believe that you chose this restaurant. |
[09:37.610] | - Do you remember the night? - Oh, my God. I completely forgot. |
[09:41.840] | Oh, my God, I can't believe they let us back in this place. |
[09:54.160] | You weren't there. |
[09:57.160] | No, but, you know, it's just a funny image. |
[10:00.530] | You know, the two of you in this restaurant with the.. .. |
[10:07.640] | Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal while I go to the ladies' room |
[10:14.640] | So tell me about it. |
[10:16.480] | Okay. Well, I would like to do a dig in the Painted Desert. |
[10:21.080] | There are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated |
[10:24.450] | - Break up with Charlie. - What? |
[10:25.950] | What? |
[10:28.420] | Did you just say, "Break up with Charlie"? |
[10:33.590] | Well, yes and no. Yes, I did say it. And no, I didn't not say it. |
[10:40.070] | - Kind of inappropriate, don't you think? - Listen, I'm sorry. |
[10:44.140] | I just haven't seen her for so long, all these feelings are rushing back |
[10:47.910] | I'm starting to realize how much I've missed her. |
[10:50.410] | And I'm gonna need you to break up with her. |
[10:54.950] | - Are you serious? - If you say, yes, then I'm serious. |
[10:57.790] | If you say, no, then I'm joking. |
[11:01.420] | - No. - Joking it is. |
[11:07.460] | - Hi, sorry I'm late. - Hey, how'd it go with Mike? |
[11:10.500] | - Is he gonna let you keep the painting? - No, he really hates it. |
[11:14.600] | But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair. |
[11:18.770] | So you gotta pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours |
[11:25.910] | Wow, what's the bad news? |
[11:28.780] | - Who's Gladys? - Oh, she's that work of art I made. |
[11:32.220] | You know, with the woman coming out of the frame. |
[11:35.820] | And Monica gets to keep her? |
[11:39.760] | In her house? I am so jealous. |
[11:44.970] | I didn't know you wanted her too. |
[11:49.070] | Well, I mean, sure, of course. |
[11:53.010] | But you already gave that to Monica, so.. 但.. |
[11:55.340] | - You know, I would give her up for you. - No, I couldn't let you do that. |
[11:59.310] | - No, but I want to. - But I don't want you to. - |
[12:01.820] | - But I insist. - But I insist harder. |
[12:07.560] | Girls. Girls. Stop. Okay, we'll flip a coin. |
[12:10.020] | Heads, she's Rachel's. Tails, she's Monica's. |
[12:15.660] | - Tails. Monica, she's yours. - No, that landed in your food. |
[12:20.530] | No, no, that's okay. You won fair and square. I'm so sad |
[12:27.040] | Then the little red squirrel took all of his acorns.. |
[12:31.310] | and put them in his little satchel and set off for.. |
[12:36.350] | Okay. Someone's getting a little fussy. I think it's time for bed. |
[12:40.490] | Where's the little red squirrel going? |
[12:47.230] | Hey, Joe? |
[12:53.600] | Oh, that's so sweet. |
[12:57.610] | - What's up? - Bad news. |
[12:59.070] | I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested. |
[13:05.080] | I'm sorry, man. |
[13:08.950] | - But you watched the tape? - Yeah, I liked it. |
[13:14.290] | But my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches. |
[13:24.400] | - You didn't watch the tape. - What? Of course I did. |
[13:29.170] | Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me? |
[13:32.170] | - I'm not lying to you. I watched it. - You lied again. - |
[13:35.480] | - I watched it. - Keep going, Pinocchio. - |
[13:39.810] | - I did. - No, you didn't. |
[13:41.850] | I'm telling you, I watched the tape.。 |
[13:45.920] | - Did you watch the tape? - No. - |
[13:53.190] | Hi. Look, I realize only one of us can get this grant. |
[13:57.130] | And I just wanted to wish both of you the best of luck. |
[14:00.600] | Are you crossing your fingers? |
[14:03.870] | What, this? No. This.. That's just the result of a childhood injury. |
[14:10.710] | I'm cured! 治好了! |
[14:15.520] | Good morning, everybody. |
[14:16.780] | If you go ahead and take your seats we can get started. |
[14:19.690] | Actually, Dr. Hobart, can I have a word with you? |
[14:22.420] | And you are? |
[14:25.760] | - Ross. - I know. I'm kidding. |
[14:30.630] | Listen, I just want to say, last night.. |
[14:33.030] | Dinner was a little awkward. |
[14:35.270] | - I just wanna make sure we're okay. - Oh, yeah. Absolutely. |
[14:38.610] | - You didn't tell Charlie what I said, did you? - Oh, no. Of course not. - |
[14:42.180] | Well, thank you. I want you to know, I respect your decision not to give her up. |
[14:47.410] | It was the biggest mistake I ever made in my whole life. |
[14:50.220] | Well, that and tattooing her name on my shoulder. |
[14:54.460] | last night stupidly. |
[14:58.160] | Seriously? |
[14:59.330] | My Nobel Prize was not for moving on. |
[15:04.470] | - So no hard feelings? - None at all. Good luck today. |
[15:07.330] | - Thank you. - Okay. - 谢谢 - 不客气 |
[15:09.170] | All right. The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists. |
[15:14.110] | The ultimate decision will be based on the answers you give to the questions I ask. |
[15:19.210] | We're gonna go ahead and start with Dr. Li. |
[15:21.650] | You claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. |
[15:25.990] | How do you propose to correct this problem? |
[15:28.320] | Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence |
[15:31.630] | - I plan to begin there. - Interesting. |
[15:33.930] | I guess. |
[15:36.630] | Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some fieldwork. Where might that take place? |
[15:40.730] | Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota |
[15:43.600] | Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday? |
[15:54.350] | What? I.. |
[15:58.250] | Care to venture a guess? |
[16:02.920] | - May 12? - That's not even kind of close. |
[16:07.960] | Dr. Li, how many graduate students will you need? |
[16:10.560] | - Half a dozen. - I see. And Dr. Biely? - |
[16:12.670] | Three for excavation, and two for analysis. |
[16:15.140] | Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit.. |
[16:19.370] | was later covered by a popular British Invasion band? |
[16:26.080] | What? I need six graduate students. 什么...? |
[16:28.750] | No, I'm sorry. We were looking for "Baby It's You." |
[16:32.720] | "Baby It's You." |
[16:35.720] | What? Wait just a minute. |
[16:38.190] | None of my questions have anything to do with paleontology. |
[16:41.530] | You're right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. |
[16:44.160] | Spell "Boscodictiasaur." |
[16:48.670] | I've never heard of a "Boscodictiasaur." |
[16:52.170] | Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.。 |
[16:57.340] | - Okay. B-O.. - No, it starts with a silent M. |
[17:00.980] | Oh, come on! |
[17:09.560] | I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar. |
[17:13.230] | But you are a liar. |
[17:16.000] | What did I just say? |
[17:19.330] | - Are you still here? - Yes. |
[17:20.800] | And I'm not just hurt, I'm insulted. When I tell somebody I did something.. |
[17:25.770] | Okay, hold on, let me just stop you right there, okay? First, you lied. Right? |
[17:29.780] | Then you lied about lying, okay? |
[17:32.510] | Then you lied about lying about lying, okay? |
[17:35.580] | So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about lying.. |
[17:42.990] | Stop lying. |
[17:45.030] | Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape? |
[17:47.830] | You wanna know why? You wanna know why? |
[17:50.460] | Well, this is going well. |
[17:53.800] | Here's how I know you didn't watch. |
[17:55.670] | If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you'd have some comments.。 |
[18:00.710] | All right, remember, I got paid a lot of money for this.. |
[18:03.680] | and it only aired in Japan. |
[18:06.780] | Ichiban. |
[18:09.850] | Ichiban, lipstick for men. |
[18:24.800] | Ichiban, lipstick for men. |
[18:31.540] | And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape. |
[18:37.010] | He really is a chameleon. |
[18:46.350] | Well, Gladys, say hello to your new home. |
[18:53.730] | - Oh, my. - Wow. |
[18:56.560] | Oh, she is so nice and big. |
[19:01.670] | Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys, oh, so proudly? |
[19:08.880] | - I haven't really settled on a spot yet. - How about right above the TV? |
[19:13.310] | That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door. |
[19:18.920] | Yeah, yeah, and you can get rid of that French poster. |
[19:22.620] | - I like that poster. - Really? |
[19:25.030] | It doesn't have anything coming out of it. |
[19:28.230] | Or maybe there's someplace for her in your bedroom? |
[19:30.860] | - There's nothing above your bed. - Are you still here? |
[19:38.240] | Stupid Nobel Prize winner. |
[19:47.810] | Oh, hi. Hello. |
[19:49.820] | Have you come to ask me some more paleontology-related questions? |
[19:54.420] | Your grandmother's nickname, perhaps? Ann-Margret's pant size? |
[20:00.960] | I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings. |
[20:05.770] | for Charlie interfere with the interview process. |
[20:08.600] | No. Stop. |
[20:11.410] | Anyway, I decided to offer you the grant. |
[20:16.010] | - Really? - There is just one small stipulation. |
[20:20.980] | - I have to break up with Charlie? - Hey, you got one right. |
[20:26.450] | - You're crazy. - Crazy or romantic? |
[20:31.360] | Crazy. |
[20:35.130] | - Or? - Get out! |
[20:43.770] | Oh, my God. |
[20:46.970] | - What? - Joey, what is this thing doing here? |
[20:51.510] | I got her from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price. |
[20:56.480] | - Joey, we're not keeping this. - But it's an original Buffay. |
[21:03.290] | All right, fine. You can keep it. |
[21:06.190] | As long as you don't mind that she's haunted. |
[21:08.730] | Hey, what? What? |
[21:10.660] | Well, legend has it, Joey, that she comes alive when you're asleep. |
[21:17.500] | She climbs out of the frame.. |
[21:20.670] | and then drags her half-a-body across the floor.. |
[21:25.150] | just looking for legs to steal. |
[21:28.480] | And then with her one good hand.. |
[21:30.950] | she slowly reaches up.. |
[21:35.090] | and turns your doorknob. |
[21:37.490] | Get that legless witch out of here! |
[21:46.730] | - Hey, I sold that to Joey. - Yeah, well, I told him it's haunted. |
[21:50.070] | - Two can play at this game. - Too late. You can't give it back. |
[21:53.070] | - Oh, yes, I can. - No, you can't, she's yours. - |
[21:55.440] | - She's yours. - She's yours. |
[21:57.010] | - She's yours. - Hey. |
[22:00.950] | - She's mine. - She's mine. |
[22:02.650] | - She's mine. - She's mine. ! |
[22:04.690] | You guys, you don't have to fight over her anymore. |
[22:08.320] | Whoever doesn't get Gladys, gets Glynnis. |
[22:19.730] | - I want Gladys. - She's mine. |
[22:22.070] | - She's mine. - She's mine. |
[22:31.850] | No, no. You don't get to do that. |
[22:33.650] | I know. Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. |
[22:37.120] | And I promise next time to submit you, whether I think you're right or not. |
[22:41.320] | That's not the point, Chandler. The point is that you lied. |
[22:44.490] | I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me? |
[22:49.260] | Oh, my God. |
[22:54.600] | Excellent. |
[22:57.600] | Now what do you say? |
[23:00.210] | Lying is wrong. |
[23:02.580] | And? And?? |
[23:06.850] | I'm a pretty little girl. |
[23:11.280] | I knew it. |
[23:20.360] | Your ex-boyfriend is insane. |
[23:24.400] | - He is a character. - No, no, no. |
[23:26.400] | Charles Nelson Reilly is a character. |
[23:30.070] | - Who? - Charles Nelson Reilly. - |
[23:32.710] | The Ghost and Mrs. Muir? Match Game? The Ghost and Mrs. Muir? Match Game? |
[23:37.480] | Were you never sick as a child? |
[23:40.610] | - Whatever. Did you get the grant? - No. And you wanna know why? |
[23:43.980] | Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you. |
[23:47.420] | - What? - Yeah. |
[23:48.620] | He refused me because I wouldn't give you up. |
[23:51.160] | Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. |
[23:54.590] | - And besides, he's a very ethical man. - Really? |
[23:59.670] | Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review: |
[24:02.600] | "Who was the voice of Underdog?" |
[24:05.310] | I'm sure he was just joking. |
[24:07.040] | If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him. |
[24:09.410] | I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question. |
[24:12.650] | - Seriously? - Oh, I'm sorry. No, he did ask me one: |
[24:15.750] | "How do you spell Boscodictiasaur?" |
[24:18.250] | Well, if it's like the Lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O.. . |
[24:21.960] | Damn it. |
[24:26.760] | Dr. Geller. Charlie, what are you doing here? |
[24:30.160] | I want you to tell her everything. |
[24:32.230] | About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you.. |
[24:36.240] | Wally Cox. That's the voice of Underdog. |
[24:42.180] | Like I tried to tell you in the interview.. |
[24:44.440] | this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia. |
[24:48.550] | No, don't do that. I want you to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth. |
[24:54.750] | Benji? |
[24:57.060] | All right. It's true. I behaved horribly, but it's only because I still love you. |
[25:02.060] | And I would do anything to have you back in my life. |
[25:05.170] | Too little, too late, Benji. |
[25:08.900] | - I can't believe this. - I never should've broken up with you. |
[25:13.210] | I think about you all the time. Do you ever still think about me? |
[25:18.410] | No. |
[25:20.780] | - Yes. - What?? |
[25:23.920] | I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so... |
[25:28.050] | romantic. |
[25:30.620] | Or? |
[25:34.900] | I know I may be way out of bounds here.. |
[25:37.260] | but is there any chance you would take me back? |
[25:43.270] | Maybe.. |
[25:45.570] | Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable. |
[25:51.140] | Oh, God. I am so sorry, but.. |
[25:55.080] | I mean, there's so much history between us, you know? |
[26:00.050] | I'm sorry too. |
[26:10.600] | - I love you. - I love you too. |
[26:16.270] | Okay, that's it, we are seeing other people. |
[26:39.090] | Gladys? 格拉达斯? |
[26:47.130] | For the third time this week. Man, this does not get old. |
[26:52.370] | - You're mean! - Oh, don't be such a baby. Please. |
[00:03.530] | Hey. Hi. |
[00:06.770] | Phoebe, what' s wrong? |
[00:08.440] | I' m just so exhausted from dragging around this huge engagement ring. |
[00:12.140] | Oh, my God. Congratulations. |
[00:15.080] | So did he get on one knee? Did he have a speech prepared? |
[00:18.280] | Oh, did he cry? |
[00:22.220] | Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals. |
[00:26.120] | Well, it was really sweet, and, like, the most romantic thing ever. |
[00:30.490] | Here' s to Phoebe, who' s found the greatest guy in the world. |
[00:33.960] | To Phoebe and.. |
[00:35.300] | I want to say " Mike"? |
[00:38.000] | To Phoebe and Mike. Hey. |
[00:40.670] | Thank you. Oh, and I have something for you. |
[00:43.510] | It' s my little black book. It' s got the numbers of all the guys I' ve dated. |
[00:47.340] | Oh, Phoebe, that' s nice, but you know what? I think I' m okay. |
[00:51.910] | Give it to one of your other single girlfriends. |
[00:54.250] | I would, but you' re the last one. |
[00:58.350] | Give me the book! |
[01:01.360] | " Pablo Diaz. |
[01:03.390] | Brady Smith. |
[01:06.090] | Guy in Van"? |
[01:08.000] | Oh, my first love. |
[01:11.300] | What is the red X next to Bob Gremore' s name mean? |
[01:14.740] | Dead. |
[01:17.870] | Oh, it' s okay. No, he was old. Yeah. |
[01:21.510] | And he lived a full life. He was in the first wave at Omaha Beach. I should' ve given you guys my black book when I got married. |
[01:26.310] | And he lived a full life. He was in the first wave at Omaha Beach. I should' ve given you guys my black book when I got married. |
[01:29.350] | Although, it wasn' t so much a book as a napkin.. |
[01:33.660] | With Janice' s phone number on it. .... |
[01:36.760] | Phoebe, isn' t Jethro Tull a band? |
[01:43.830] | Oh, yes, they are. |
[02:35.980] | Hey, honey. |
[02:38.390] | Hey, sweetie. |
[02:40.520] | Is Monica not here? No. |
[02:42.360] | Then I' ll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account, and they got it. |
[02:46.290] | It' s my first national commercial. Cool |
[02:48.900] | And I don' t want to brag, but a lot of the ideas were mine. |
[02:52.100] | Hell, you weren' t there. All the ideas were mine |
[02:55.570] | That' s great. Hey, can you cast me in it? |
[02:59.540] | I really don' t think you' re right for the part. .. |
[03:02.280] | What do you mean? I can do anything. I' m a chameleon. |
[03:07.350] | I' m old. |
[03:10.920] | I' m tired. |
[03:12.790] | Oh, I am hot. I' m cold. Come on, what can' t I do? |
[03:18.790] | First of all, bravo. |
[03:22.030] | But I don' t think you' re right for this. The part' s a stuffy college professor. |
[03:26.130] | I can do that. Hello, I' m your professor. |
[03:30.310] | When I' m not busy thinking of important things, or professing.. |
[03:36.140] | I like to use.. What' s the product? |
[03:38.310] | Software that facilitates interbusiness networking esolutions. |
[03:47.020] | I' m cold. |
[03:51.530] | Hey. Hey. |
[03:53.230] | Guess who' s a finalist for a huge research grant? |
[03:55.900] | I' ll give you a hint. He' s looking right at you. |
[03:59.270] | Well, unless it' s the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt.. |
[04:02.640] | I' m gonna say, " Congratulations |
[04:05.340] | I' m so excited. Apparently, I beat out hundreds of other applicants.. |
[04:10.040] | including five guys I went to graduate school with.. |
[04:12.880] | Not that I' m keeping score, or anything. Five. |
[04:16.750] | Wow, that' s great. Yeah. |
[04:18.590] | So tell me about the grant. Well, okay, it' s for 25, 000. |
[04:21.990] | And if I get it, I' ll be able to complete my field research. |
[04:25.360] | And there will be an article about me in the Paleontology Review. |
[04:29.400] | It' ll be the first time my name is in there.. |
[04:31.870] | without people raising serious questions about my work. |
[04:35.740] | Are you talking about the Dewer Grant? Yeah. Why? |
[04:39.070] | Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant. |
[04:41.410] | Your exboyfriend? Yeah. |
[04:43.710] | So your exboyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? |
[04:48.280] | Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed. |
[04:51.320] | No. No, we ended on great terms. |
[04:53.820] | If anything, I think this could help you. You know what? |
[04:56.920] | Why don' t we all go out to dinner, and I can introduce you. |
[04:59.960] | If you think it' d help. Yeah, absolutely. I' ll call him. |
[05:03.030] | Now, is there anything I could do to butter him up? |
[05:05.930] | Anything he really likes? |
[05:08.970] | He does have a pretty serious latex fetish. |
[05:11.310] | We' ll see how dinner goes. |
[05:17.380] | Hey. Hey, you want to go see a movie? |
[05:20.650] | I told you I had to spend all day clearing out stuff so Mike could move in. |
[05:24.420] | Oh, right. Yeah. |
[05:26.120] | Now that I' m here, I might as well help with the cleaning and organizing. |
[05:30.790] | I just happen to have my label maker. |
[05:34.700] | Oh, it' s so hard to get rid of stuff. |
[05:37.300] | Did you and Chandler make compromises when you moved in together? |
[05:40.940] | Chandler did. |
[05:43.440] | What does he want you to give up? A bunch of stuff. |
[05:46.040] | And the worst one, he wants me to get rid of Gladys |
[05:49.680] | Who' s Gladys? |
[05:55.650] | What a tragic loss. |
[05:58.120] | Yeah, I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know. Oh, you should take her. jiu shi shuo. wo zhen de bu |
[06:06.890] | I don' t know.... |
[06:08.630] | What, you don' t like her? Of course I do. What' s not to like? |
[06:15.000] | I' d take her in a minute. |
[06:17.540] | But I think that you' re giving up too easy. dan |
[06:19.840] | Honey, I think that you need to fight for her. |
[06:23.240] | Really, you think? Absolutely. |
[06:25.610] | You say to him, " I' m sorry, Mike, I can' t live without her. |
[06:28.780] | She means too much to me." |
[06:31.250] | Okay, I' ll fight for her. Okay. |
[06:34.820] | Oh, wait. I just realized, if I do that, that means you don' t get her. |
[06:38.530] | Damn it, I did not think this through. |
[06:44.530] | Emma, mom' s got a snack for you. |
[06:53.610] | You know, every now and then, she might like some barbecue potato chips. |
[06:59.150] | Hey, guys. Hey. |
[07:01.020] | Hi. Hey, baby. |
[07:02.520] | Oh, any word on casting yet? |
[07:04.550] | I told you, you' re not right for the part. What do you mean? |
[07:07.890] | Rach, don' t I seem like a professor you' d buy some kind of ecrap from? |
[07:13.130] | I' m sorry, this sounds like something I' m never gonna be interested in |
[07:17.430] | Look, come on, please? It' s not like I' m asking you for some crazy favor. |
[07:21.970] | This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor. |
[07:25.010] | Man, I' m two hours late for work. |
[07:28.840] | Here' s my reel. It' s got all the commercials that I' ve been in. |
[07:32.280] | Joe.. Just watch it. |
[07:34.080] | If you don' t like it, don' t pass it on to your bosses. |
[07:37.050] | Fine. Thank you. |
[07:43.930] | Work, Joe. Damn it. |
[07:49.930] | What am I gonna do now? Just pass the tape along. |
[07:52.600] | He' s not right for the part. |
[07:54.600] | If I suggest him, my bosses will think I' m an idiot. |
[07:57.240] | And that' s something they should learn on their own. |
[08:00.040] | Just tell Joey that you watched the tape.. |
[08:02.440] | and you liked it, but your bosses didn' t. |
[08:04.610] | Then you' re the good guy, and they' re the bad guy. |
[08:07.220] | That' s good. I liked it, they didn' t.. |
[08:11.990] | Joey, for God' s sake, go to work. |
[08:20.060] | I can' t believe I' m about to meet Benjamin Hobart. |
[08:23.060] | I' ve always thought of him as someone I' d invite.. |
[08:25.670] | to my fantasy dinner party. |
[08:29.100] | Do you think there' s any chance he' ll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO? |
[08:34.380] | Sorry, it looks like it' s just him. |
[08:38.780] | Charlie. |
[08:42.580] | My God, you look absolutely stunning.. |
[08:46.550] | Well, I am having a good hair day. |
[08:50.490] | It' s so good to see you. Oh, you too. . |
[08:57.900] | I' m okay. |
[09:00.130] | I' m sorry. Ross Geller, Benjamin Hobart. |
[09:03.640] | It' s an honor to meet you. I can' t tell you how long.. |
[09:06.940] | I' ve been an admirer of your work. I mean, that Nobel Prize. |
[09:13.550] | I mean, I have to tell you that you' re one of the reasons I got into the field. |
[09:18.250] | Well, likewise |
[09:21.090] | Not likewise. I' d never heard of you until this morning. |
[09:24.060] | But it' s nice to be nice. |
[09:27.730] | Shall we? Yeah. Thank you. |
[09:33.940] | I can' t believe that you chose this restaurant. |
[09:37.610] | Do you remember the night? Oh, my God. I completely forgot. |
[09:41.840] | Oh, my God, I can' t believe they let us back in this place. |
[09:54.160] | You weren' t there. |
[09:57.160] | No, but, you know, it' s just a funny image. |
[10:00.530] | You know, the two of you in this restaurant with the.. .. |
[10:07.640] | Ross, why don' t you tell Benji about your proposal while I go to the ladies' room |
[10:14.640] | So tell me about it. |
[10:16.480] | Okay. Well, I would like to do a dig in the Painted Desert. |
[10:21.080] | There are still several areas that haven' t been fully excavated |
[10:24.450] | Break up with Charlie. What? |
[10:25.950] | What? |
[10:28.420] | Did you just say, " Break up with Charlie"? |
[10:33.590] | Well, yes and no. Yes, I did say it. And no, I didn' t not say it. |
[10:40.070] | Kind of inappropriate, don' t you think? Listen, I' m sorry. |
[10:44.140] | I just haven' t seen her for so long, all these feelings are rushing back |
[10:47.910] | I' m starting to realize how much I' ve missed her. |
[10:50.410] | And I' m gonna need you to break up with her. |
[10:54.950] | Are you serious? If you say, yes, then I' m serious. |
[10:57.790] | If you say, no, then I' m joking. |
[11:01.420] | No. Joking it is. |
[11:07.460] | Hi, sorry I' m late. Hey, how' d it go with Mike? |
[11:10.500] | Is he gonna let you keep the painting? No, he really hates it. |
[11:14.600] | But he' s gonna let me keep my box of human hair. |
[11:18.770] | So you gotta pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours |
[11:25.910] | Wow, what' s the bad news? |
[11:28.780] | Who' s Gladys? Oh, she' s that work of art I made. |
[11:32.220] | You know, with the woman coming out of the frame. |
[11:35.820] | And Monica gets to keep her? |
[11:39.760] | In her house? I am so jealous. |
[11:44.970] | I didn' t know you wanted her too. |
[11:49.070] | Well, I mean, sure, of course. |
[11:53.010] | But you already gave that to Monica, so.. dan.. |
[11:55.340] | You know, I would give her up for you. No, I couldn' t let you do that. |
[11:59.310] | No, but I want to. But I don' t want you to. |
[12:01.820] | But I insist. But I insist harder. |
[12:07.560] | Girls. Girls. Stop. Okay, we' ll flip a coin. |
[12:10.020] | Heads, she' s Rachel' s. Tails, she' s Monica' s. |
[12:15.660] | Tails. Monica, she' s yours. No, that landed in your food. |
[12:20.530] | No, no, that' s okay. You won fair and square. I' m so sad |
[12:27.040] | Then the little red squirrel took all of his acorns.. |
[12:31.310] | and put them in his little satchel and set off for.. |
[12:36.350] | Okay. Someone' s getting a little fussy. I think it' s time for bed. |
[12:40.490] | Where' s the little red squirrel going? |
[12:47.230] | Hey, Joe? |
[12:53.600] | Oh, that' s so sweet. |
[12:57.610] | What' s up? Bad news. |
[12:59.070] | I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren' t interested. |
[13:05.080] | I' m sorry, man. |
[13:08.950] | But you watched the tape? Yeah, I liked it. |
[13:14.290] | But my bosses didn' t go for it. Stupid sons of bitches. |
[13:24.400] | You didn' t watch the tape. What? Of course I did. |
[13:29.170] | Look, it' s one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me? |
[13:32.170] | I' m not lying to you. I watched it. You lied again. |
[13:35.480] | I watched it. Keep going, Pinocchio. |
[13:39.810] | I did. No, you didn' t. |
[13:41.850] | I' m telling you, I watched the tape.. |
[13:45.920] | Did you watch the tape? No. |
[13:53.190] | Hi. Look, I realize only one of us can get this grant. |
[13:57.130] | And I just wanted to wish both of you the best of luck. |
[14:00.600] | Are you crossing your fingers? |
[14:03.870] | What, this? No. This.. That' s just the result of a childhood injury. |
[14:10.710] | I' m cured! zhi hao le! |
[14:15.520] | Good morning, everybody. |
[14:16.780] | If you go ahead and take your seats we can get started. |
[14:19.690] | Actually, Dr. Hobart, can I have a word with you? |
[14:22.420] | And you are? |
[14:25.760] | Ross. I know. I' m kidding. |
[14:30.630] | Listen, I just want to say, last night.. |
[14:33.030] | Dinner was a little awkward. |
[14:35.270] | I just wanna make sure we' re okay. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. |
[14:38.610] | You didn' t tell Charlie what I said, did you? Oh, no. Of course not. |
[14:42.180] | Well, thank you. I want you to know, I respect your decision not to give her up. |
[14:47.410] | It was the biggest mistake I ever made in my whole life. |
[14:50.220] | Well, that and tattooing her name on my shoulder. |
[14:54.460] | last night stupidly. |
[14:58.160] | Seriously? |
[14:59.330] | My Nobel Prize was not for moving on. |
[15:04.470] | So no hard feelings? None at all. Good luck today. |
[15:07.330] | Thank you. Okay. xie xie bu ke qi |
[15:09.170] | All right. The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists. |
[15:14.110] | The ultimate decision will be based on the answers you give to the questions I ask. |
[15:19.210] | We' re gonna go ahead and start with Dr. Li. |
[15:21.650] | You claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. |
[15:25.990] | How do you propose to correct this problem? |
[15:28.320] | Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence |
[15:31.630] | I plan to begin there. Interesting. |
[15:33.930] | I guess. |
[15:36.630] | Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some fieldwork. Where might that take place? |
[15:40.730] | Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota |
[15:43.600] | Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday? |
[15:54.350] | What? I.. |
[15:58.250] | Care to venture a guess? |
[16:02.920] | May 12? That' s not even kind of close. |
[16:07.960] | Dr. Li, how many graduate students will you need? |
[16:10.560] | Half a dozen. I see. And Dr. Biely? |
[16:12.670] | Three for excavation, and two for analysis. |
[16:15.140] | Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit.. |
[16:19.370] | was later covered by a popular British Invasion band? |
[16:26.080] | What? I need six graduate students. shen me...? |
[16:28.750] | No, I' m sorry. We were looking for " Baby It' s You." |
[16:32.720] | " Baby It' s You." |
[16:35.720] | What? Wait just a minute. |
[16:38.190] | None of my questions have anything to do with paleontology. |
[16:41.530] | You' re right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. |
[16:44.160] | Spell " Boscodictiasaur." |
[16:48.670] | I' ve never heard of a " Boscodictiasaur." |
[16:52.170] | Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.. |
[16:57.340] | Okay. BO.. No, it starts with a silent M. |
[17:00.980] | Oh, come on! |
[17:09.560] | I can' t believe Joey. I hate being called a liar. |
[17:13.230] | But you are a liar. |
[17:16.000] | What did I just say? |
[17:19.330] | Are you still here? Yes. |
[17:20.800] | And I' m not just hurt, I' m insulted. When I tell somebody I did something.. |
[17:25.770] | Okay, hold on, let me just stop you right there, okay? First, you lied. Right? |
[17:29.780] | Then you lied about lying, okay? |
[17:32.510] | Then you lied about lying about lying, okay? |
[17:35.580] | So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about lying.. |
[17:42.990] | Stop lying. |
[17:45.030] | Why are you so sure I didn' t watch this tape? |
[17:47.830] | You wanna know why? You wanna know why? |
[17:50.460] | Well, this is going well. |
[17:53.800] | Here' s how I know you didn' t watch. |
[17:55.670] | If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you' d have some comments.. |
[18:00.710] | All right, remember, I got paid a lot of money for this.. |
[18:03.680] | and it only aired in Japan. |
[18:06.780] | Ichiban. |
[18:09.850] | Ichiban, lipstick for men. |
[18:24.800] | Ichiban, lipstick for men. |
[18:31.540] | And that' s how I know you didn' t watch the tape. |
[18:37.010] | He really is a chameleon. |
[18:46.350] | Well, Gladys, say hello to your new home. |
[18:53.730] | Oh, my. Wow. |
[18:56.560] | Oh, she is so nice and big. |
[19:01.670] | Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys, oh, so proudly? |
[19:08.880] | I haven' t really settled on a spot yet. How about right above the TV? |
[19:13.310] | That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door. |
[19:18.920] | Yeah, yeah, and you can get rid of that French poster. |
[19:22.620] | I like that poster. Really? |
[19:25.030] | It doesn' t have anything coming out of it. |
[19:28.230] | Or maybe there' s someplace for her in your bedroom? |
[19:30.860] | There' s nothing above your bed. Are you still here? |
[19:38.240] | Stupid Nobel Prize winner. |
[19:47.810] | Oh, hi. Hello. |
[19:49.820] | Have you come to ask me some more paleontologyrelated questions? |
[19:54.420] | Your grandmother' s nickname, perhaps? AnnMargret' s pant size? |
[20:00.960] | I' ve come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings. |
[20:05.770] | for Charlie interfere with the interview process. |
[20:08.600] | No. Stop. |
[20:11.410] | Anyway, I decided to offer you the grant. |
[20:16.010] | Really? There is just one small stipulation. |
[20:20.980] | I have to break up with Charlie? Hey, you got one right. |
[20:26.450] | You' re crazy. Crazy or romantic? |
[20:31.360] | Crazy. |
[20:35.130] | Or? Get out! |
[20:43.770] | Oh, my God. |
[20:46.970] | What? Joey, what is this thing doing here? |
[20:51.510] | I got her from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price. |
[20:56.480] | Joey, we' re not keeping this. But it' s an original Buffay. |
[21:03.290] | All right, fine. You can keep it. |
[21:06.190] | As long as you don' t mind that she' s haunted. |
[21:08.730] | Hey, what? What? |
[21:10.660] | Well, legend has it, Joey, that she comes alive when you' re asleep. |
[21:17.500] | She climbs out of the frame.. |
[21:20.670] | and then drags her halfabody across the floor.. |
[21:25.150] | just looking for legs to steal. |
[21:28.480] | And then with her one good hand.. |
[21:30.950] | she slowly reaches up.. |
[21:35.090] | and turns your doorknob. |
[21:37.490] | Get that legless witch out of here! |
[21:46.730] | Hey, I sold that to Joey. Yeah, well, I told him it' s haunted. |
[21:50.070] | Two can play at this game. Too late. You can' t give it back. |
[21:53.070] | Oh, yes, I can. No, you can' t, she' s yours. |
[21:55.440] | She' s yours. She' s yours. |
[21:57.010] | She' s yours. Hey. |
[22:00.950] | She' s mine. She' s mine. |
[22:02.650] | She' s mine. She' s mine. ! |
[22:04.690] | You guys, you don' t have to fight over her anymore. |
[22:08.320] | Whoever doesn' t get Gladys, gets Glynnis. |
[22:19.730] | I want Gladys. She' s mine. |
[22:22.070] | She' s mine. She' s mine. |
[22:31.850] | No, no. You don' t get to do that. |
[22:33.650] | I know. Look, I' m sorry I didn' t give them your tape. |
[22:37.120] | And I promise next time to submit you, whether I think you' re right or not. |
[22:41.320] | That' s not the point, Chandler. The point is that you lied. |
[22:44.490] | I know. You' re right. What' s it gonna take for you to forgive me? |
[22:49.260] | Oh, my God. |
[22:54.600] | Excellent. |
[22:57.600] | Now what do you say? |
[23:00.210] | Lying is wrong. |
[23:02.580] | And? And?? |
[23:06.850] | I' m a pretty little girl. |
[23:11.280] | I knew it. |
[23:20.360] | Your exboyfriend is insane. |
[23:24.400] | He is a character. No, no, no. |
[23:26.400] | Charles Nelson Reilly is a character. |
[23:30.070] | Who? Charles Nelson Reilly. |
[23:32.710] | The Ghost and Mrs. Muir? Match Game? The Ghost and Mrs. Muir? Match Game? |
[23:37.480] | Were you never sick as a child? |
[23:40.610] | Whatever. Did you get the grant? No. And you wanna know why? |
[23:43.980] | Because your exboyfriend is still in love with you. |
[23:47.420] | What? Yeah. |
[23:48.620] | He refused me because I wouldn' t give you up. |
[23:51.160] | Benji isn' t in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. |
[23:54.590] | And besides, he' s a very ethical man. Really? |
[23:59.670] | Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review: |
[24:02.600] | " Who was the voice of Underdog?" |
[24:05.310] | I' m sure he was just joking. |
[24:07.040] | If you don' t believe me, let' s go talk to him. |
[24:09.410] | I' m telling you, he didn' t ask me one paleontological question. |
[24:12.650] | Seriously? Oh, I' m sorry. No, he did ask me one: |
[24:15.750] | " How do you spell Boscodictiasaur?" |
[24:18.250] | Well, if it' s like the Lake Mbosco in Congo, then MBO.. . |
[24:21.960] | Damn it. |
[24:26.760] | Dr. Geller. Charlie, what are you doing here? |
[24:30.160] | I want you to tell her everything. |
[24:32.230] | About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you.. |
[24:36.240] | Wally Cox. That' s the voice of Underdog. |
[24:42.180] | Like I tried to tell you in the interview.. |
[24:44.440] | this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia. |
[24:48.550] | No, don' t do that. I want you to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth. |
[24:54.750] | Benji? |
[24:57.060] | All right. It' s true. I behaved horribly, but it' s only because I still love you. |
[25:02.060] | And I would do anything to have you back in my life. |
[25:05.170] | Too little, too late, Benji. |
[25:08.900] | I can' t believe this. I never should' ve broken up with you. |
[25:13.210] | I think about you all the time. Do you ever still think about me? |
[25:18.410] | No. |
[25:20.780] | Yes. What?? |
[25:23.920] | I don' t know what to say, Benji. This is all so... |
[25:28.050] | romantic. |
[25:30.620] | Or? |
[25:34.900] | I know I may be way out of bounds here.. |
[25:37.260] | but is there any chance you would take me back? |
[25:43.270] | Maybe.. |
[25:45.570] | Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable. |
[25:51.140] | Oh, God. I am so sorry, but.. |
[25:55.080] | I mean, there' s so much history between us, you know? |
[26:00.050] | I' m sorry too. |
[26:10.600] | I love you. I love you too. |
[26:16.270] | Okay, that' s it, we are seeing other people. |
[26:39.090] | Gladys? ge la da si? |
[26:47.130] | For the third time this week. Man, this does not get old. |
[26:52.370] | You' re mean! Oh, don' t be such a baby. Please. |
[00:03.530] | Hey. Hi. |
[00:06.770] | Phoebe, what' s wrong? |
[00:08.440] | I' m just so exhausted from dragging around this huge engagement ring. |
[00:12.140] | Oh, my God. Congratulations. |
[00:15.080] | So did he get on one knee? Did he have a speech prepared? |
[00:18.280] | Oh, did he cry? |
[00:22.220] | Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals. |
[00:26.120] | Well, it was really sweet, and, like, the most romantic thing ever. |
[00:30.490] | Here' s to Phoebe, who' s found the greatest guy in the world. |
[00:33.960] | To Phoebe and.. |
[00:35.300] | I want to say " Mike"? |
[00:38.000] | To Phoebe and Mike. Hey. |
[00:40.670] | Thank you. Oh, and I have something for you. |
[00:43.510] | It' s my little black book. It' s got the numbers of all the guys I' ve dated. |
[00:47.340] | Oh, Phoebe, that' s nice, but you know what? I think I' m okay. |
[00:51.910] | Give it to one of your other single girlfriends. |
[00:54.250] | I would, but you' re the last one. |
[00:58.350] | Give me the book! |
[01:01.360] | " Pablo Diaz. |
[01:03.390] | Brady Smith. |
[01:06.090] | Guy in Van"? |
[01:08.000] | Oh, my first love. |
[01:11.300] | What is the red X next to Bob Gremore' s name mean? |
[01:14.740] | Dead. |
[01:17.870] | Oh, it' s okay. No, he was old. Yeah. |
[01:21.510] | And he lived a full life. He was in the first wave at Omaha Beach. I should' ve given you guys my black book when I got married. |
[01:26.310] | And he lived a full life. He was in the first wave at Omaha Beach. I should' ve given you guys my black book when I got married. |
[01:29.350] | Although, it wasn' t so much a book as a napkin.. |
[01:33.660] | With Janice' s phone number on it. .... |
[01:36.760] | Phoebe, isn' t Jethro Tull a band? |
[01:43.830] | Oh, yes, they are. |
[02:35.980] | Hey, honey. |
[02:38.390] | Hey, sweetie. |
[02:40.520] | Is Monica not here? No. |
[02:42.360] | Then I' ll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account, and they got it. |
[02:46.290] | It' s my first national commercial. Cool |
[02:48.900] | And I don' t want to brag, but a lot of the ideas were mine. |
[02:52.100] | Hell, you weren' t there. All the ideas were mine |
[02:55.570] | That' s great. Hey, can you cast me in it? |
[02:59.540] | I really don' t think you' re right for the part. .. |
[03:02.280] | What do you mean? I can do anything. I' m a chameleon. |
[03:07.350] | I' m old. |
[03:10.920] | I' m tired. |
[03:12.790] | Oh, I am hot. I' m cold. Come on, what can' t I do? |
[03:18.790] | First of all, bravo. |
[03:22.030] | But I don' t think you' re right for this. The part' s a stuffy college professor. |
[03:26.130] | I can do that. Hello, I' m your professor. |
[03:30.310] | When I' m not busy thinking of important things, or professing.. |
[03:36.140] | I like to use.. What' s the product? |
[03:38.310] | Software that facilitates interbusiness networking esolutions. |
[03:47.020] | I' m cold. |
[03:51.530] | Hey. Hey. |
[03:53.230] | Guess who' s a finalist for a huge research grant? |
[03:55.900] | I' ll give you a hint. He' s looking right at you. |
[03:59.270] | Well, unless it' s the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt.. |
[04:02.640] | I' m gonna say, " Congratulations |
[04:05.340] | I' m so excited. Apparently, I beat out hundreds of other applicants.. |
[04:10.040] | including five guys I went to graduate school with.. |
[04:12.880] | Not that I' m keeping score, or anything. Five. |
[04:16.750] | Wow, that' s great. Yeah. |
[04:18.590] | So tell me about the grant. Well, okay, it' s for 25, 000. |
[04:21.990] | And if I get it, I' ll be able to complete my field research. |
[04:25.360] | And there will be an article about me in the Paleontology Review. |
[04:29.400] | It' ll be the first time my name is in there.. |
[04:31.870] | without people raising serious questions about my work. |
[04:35.740] | Are you talking about the Dewer Grant? Yeah. Why? |
[04:39.070] | Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant. |
[04:41.410] | Your exboyfriend? Yeah. |
[04:43.710] | So your exboyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? |
[04:48.280] | Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed. |
[04:51.320] | No. No, we ended on great terms. |
[04:53.820] | If anything, I think this could help you. You know what? |
[04:56.920] | Why don' t we all go out to dinner, and I can introduce you. |
[04:59.960] | If you think it' d help. Yeah, absolutely. I' ll call him. |
[05:03.030] | Now, is there anything I could do to butter him up? |
[05:05.930] | Anything he really likes? |
[05:08.970] | He does have a pretty serious latex fetish. |
[05:11.310] | We' ll see how dinner goes. |
[05:17.380] | Hey. Hey, you want to go see a movie? |
[05:20.650] | I told you I had to spend all day clearing out stuff so Mike could move in. |
[05:24.420] | Oh, right. Yeah. |
[05:26.120] | Now that I' m here, I might as well help with the cleaning and organizing. |
[05:30.790] | I just happen to have my label maker. |
[05:34.700] | Oh, it' s so hard to get rid of stuff. |
[05:37.300] | Did you and Chandler make compromises when you moved in together? |
[05:40.940] | Chandler did. |
[05:43.440] | What does he want you to give up? A bunch of stuff. |
[05:46.040] | And the worst one, he wants me to get rid of Gladys |
[05:49.680] | Who' s Gladys? |
[05:55.650] | What a tragic loss. |
[05:58.120] | Yeah, I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know. Oh, you should take her. jiù shì shuō. wǒ zhēn de bù |
[06:06.890] | I don' t know.... |
[06:08.630] | What, you don' t like her? Of course I do. What' s not to like? |
[06:15.000] | I' d take her in a minute. |
[06:17.540] | But I think that you' re giving up too easy. dàn |
[06:19.840] | Honey, I think that you need to fight for her. |
[06:23.240] | Really, you think? Absolutely. |
[06:25.610] | You say to him, " I' m sorry, Mike, I can' t live without her. |
[06:28.780] | She means too much to me." |
[06:31.250] | Okay, I' ll fight for her. Okay. |
[06:34.820] | Oh, wait. I just realized, if I do that, that means you don' t get her. |
[06:38.530] | Damn it, I did not think this through. |
[06:44.530] | Emma, mom' s got a snack for you. |
[06:53.610] | You know, every now and then, she might like some barbecue potato chips. |
[06:59.150] | Hey, guys. Hey. |
[07:01.020] | Hi. Hey, baby. |
[07:02.520] | Oh, any word on casting yet? |
[07:04.550] | I told you, you' re not right for the part. What do you mean? |
[07:07.890] | Rach, don' t I seem like a professor you' d buy some kind of ecrap from? |
[07:13.130] | I' m sorry, this sounds like something I' m never gonna be interested in |
[07:17.430] | Look, come on, please? It' s not like I' m asking you for some crazy favor. |
[07:21.970] | This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor. |
[07:25.010] | Man, I' m two hours late for work. |
[07:28.840] | Here' s my reel. It' s got all the commercials that I' ve been in. |
[07:32.280] | Joe.. Just watch it. |
[07:34.080] | If you don' t like it, don' t pass it on to your bosses. |
[07:37.050] | Fine. Thank you. |
[07:43.930] | Work, Joe. Damn it. |
[07:49.930] | What am I gonna do now? Just pass the tape along. |
[07:52.600] | He' s not right for the part. |
[07:54.600] | If I suggest him, my bosses will think I' m an idiot. |
[07:57.240] | And that' s something they should learn on their own. |
[08:00.040] | Just tell Joey that you watched the tape.. |
[08:02.440] | and you liked it, but your bosses didn' t. |
[08:04.610] | Then you' re the good guy, and they' re the bad guy. |
[08:07.220] | That' s good. I liked it, they didn' t.. |
[08:11.990] | Joey, for God' s sake, go to work. |
[08:20.060] | I can' t believe I' m about to meet Benjamin Hobart. |
[08:23.060] | I' ve always thought of him as someone I' d invite.. |
[08:25.670] | to my fantasy dinner party. |
[08:29.100] | Do you think there' s any chance he' ll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO? |
[08:34.380] | Sorry, it looks like it' s just him. |
[08:38.780] | Charlie. |
[08:42.580] | My God, you look absolutely stunning.. |
[08:46.550] | Well, I am having a good hair day. |
[08:50.490] | It' s so good to see you. Oh, you too. . |
[08:57.900] | I' m okay. |
[09:00.130] | I' m sorry. Ross Geller, Benjamin Hobart. |
[09:03.640] | It' s an honor to meet you. I can' t tell you how long.. |
[09:06.940] | I' ve been an admirer of your work. I mean, that Nobel Prize. |
[09:13.550] | I mean, I have to tell you that you' re one of the reasons I got into the field. |
[09:18.250] | Well, likewise |
[09:21.090] | Not likewise. I' d never heard of you until this morning. |
[09:24.060] | But it' s nice to be nice. |
[09:27.730] | Shall we? Yeah. Thank you. |
[09:33.940] | I can' t believe that you chose this restaurant. |
[09:37.610] | Do you remember the night? Oh, my God. I completely forgot. |
[09:41.840] | Oh, my God, I can' t believe they let us back in this place. |
[09:54.160] | You weren' t there. |
[09:57.160] | No, but, you know, it' s just a funny image. |
[10:00.530] | You know, the two of you in this restaurant with the.. .. |
[10:07.640] | Ross, why don' t you tell Benji about your proposal while I go to the ladies' room |
[10:14.640] | So tell me about it. |
[10:16.480] | Okay. Well, I would like to do a dig in the Painted Desert. |
[10:21.080] | There are still several areas that haven' t been fully excavated |
[10:24.450] | Break up with Charlie. What? |
[10:25.950] | What? |
[10:28.420] | Did you just say, " Break up with Charlie"? |
[10:33.590] | Well, yes and no. Yes, I did say it. And no, I didn' t not say it. |
[10:40.070] | Kind of inappropriate, don' t you think? Listen, I' m sorry. |
[10:44.140] | I just haven' t seen her for so long, all these feelings are rushing back |
[10:47.910] | I' m starting to realize how much I' ve missed her. |
[10:50.410] | And I' m gonna need you to break up with her. |
[10:54.950] | Are you serious? If you say, yes, then I' m serious. |
[10:57.790] | If you say, no, then I' m joking. |
[11:01.420] | No. Joking it is. |
[11:07.460] | Hi, sorry I' m late. Hey, how' d it go with Mike? |
[11:10.500] | Is he gonna let you keep the painting? No, he really hates it. |
[11:14.600] | But he' s gonna let me keep my box of human hair. |
[11:18.770] | So you gotta pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours |
[11:25.910] | Wow, what' s the bad news? |
[11:28.780] | Who' s Gladys? Oh, she' s that work of art I made. |
[11:32.220] | You know, with the woman coming out of the frame. |
[11:35.820] | And Monica gets to keep her? |
[11:39.760] | In her house? I am so jealous. |
[11:44.970] | I didn' t know you wanted her too. |
[11:49.070] | Well, I mean, sure, of course. |
[11:53.010] | But you already gave that to Monica, so.. dàn.. |
[11:55.340] | You know, I would give her up for you. No, I couldn' t let you do that. |
[11:59.310] | No, but I want to. But I don' t want you to. |
[12:01.820] | But I insist. But I insist harder. |
[12:07.560] | Girls. Girls. Stop. Okay, we' ll flip a coin. |
[12:10.020] | Heads, she' s Rachel' s. Tails, she' s Monica' s. |
[12:15.660] | Tails. Monica, she' s yours. No, that landed in your food. |
[12:20.530] | No, no, that' s okay. You won fair and square. I' m so sad |
[12:27.040] | Then the little red squirrel took all of his acorns.. |
[12:31.310] | and put them in his little satchel and set off for.. |
[12:36.350] | Okay. Someone' s getting a little fussy. I think it' s time for bed. |
[12:40.490] | Where' s the little red squirrel going? |
[12:47.230] | Hey, Joe? |
[12:53.600] | Oh, that' s so sweet. |
[12:57.610] | What' s up? Bad news. |
[12:59.070] | I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren' t interested. |
[13:05.080] | I' m sorry, man. |
[13:08.950] | But you watched the tape? Yeah, I liked it. |
[13:14.290] | But my bosses didn' t go for it. Stupid sons of bitches. |
[13:24.400] | You didn' t watch the tape. What? Of course I did. |
[13:29.170] | Look, it' s one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me? |
[13:32.170] | I' m not lying to you. I watched it. You lied again. |
[13:35.480] | I watched it. Keep going, Pinocchio. |
[13:39.810] | I did. No, you didn' t. |
[13:41.850] | I' m telling you, I watched the tape.. |
[13:45.920] | Did you watch the tape? No. |
[13:53.190] | Hi. Look, I realize only one of us can get this grant. |
[13:57.130] | And I just wanted to wish both of you the best of luck. |
[14:00.600] | Are you crossing your fingers? |
[14:03.870] | What, this? No. This.. That' s just the result of a childhood injury. |
[14:10.710] | I' m cured! zhì hǎo le! |
[14:15.520] | Good morning, everybody. |
[14:16.780] | If you go ahead and take your seats we can get started. |
[14:19.690] | Actually, Dr. Hobart, can I have a word with you? |
[14:22.420] | And you are? |
[14:25.760] | Ross. I know. I' m kidding. |
[14:30.630] | Listen, I just want to say, last night.. |
[14:33.030] | Dinner was a little awkward. |
[14:35.270] | I just wanna make sure we' re okay. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. |
[14:38.610] | You didn' t tell Charlie what I said, did you? Oh, no. Of course not. |
[14:42.180] | Well, thank you. I want you to know, I respect your decision not to give her up. |
[14:47.410] | It was the biggest mistake I ever made in my whole life. |
[14:50.220] | Well, that and tattooing her name on my shoulder. |
[14:54.460] | last night stupidly. |
[14:58.160] | Seriously? |
[14:59.330] | My Nobel Prize was not for moving on. |
[15:04.470] | So no hard feelings? None at all. Good luck today. |
[15:07.330] | Thank you. Okay. xiè xiè bù kè qì |
[15:09.170] | All right. The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists. |
[15:14.110] | The ultimate decision will be based on the answers you give to the questions I ask. |
[15:19.210] | We' re gonna go ahead and start with Dr. Li. |
[15:21.650] | You claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. |
[15:25.990] | How do you propose to correct this problem? |
[15:28.320] | Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence |
[15:31.630] | I plan to begin there. Interesting. |
[15:33.930] | I guess. |
[15:36.630] | Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some fieldwork. Where might that take place? |
[15:40.730] | Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota |
[15:43.600] | Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday? |
[15:54.350] | What? I.. |
[15:58.250] | Care to venture a guess? |
[16:02.920] | May 12? That' s not even kind of close. |
[16:07.960] | Dr. Li, how many graduate students will you need? |
[16:10.560] | Half a dozen. I see. And Dr. Biely? |
[16:12.670] | Three for excavation, and two for analysis. |
[16:15.140] | Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit.. |
[16:19.370] | was later covered by a popular British Invasion band? |
[16:26.080] | What? I need six graduate students. shén me...? |
[16:28.750] | No, I' m sorry. We were looking for " Baby It' s You." |
[16:32.720] | " Baby It' s You." |
[16:35.720] | What? Wait just a minute. |
[16:38.190] | None of my questions have anything to do with paleontology. |
[16:41.530] | You' re right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. |
[16:44.160] | Spell " Boscodictiasaur." |
[16:48.670] | I' ve never heard of a " Boscodictiasaur." |
[16:52.170] | Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.. |
[16:57.340] | Okay. BO.. No, it starts with a silent M. |
[17:00.980] | Oh, come on! |
[17:09.560] | I can' t believe Joey. I hate being called a liar. |
[17:13.230] | But you are a liar. |
[17:16.000] | What did I just say? |
[17:19.330] | Are you still here? Yes. |
[17:20.800] | And I' m not just hurt, I' m insulted. When I tell somebody I did something.. |
[17:25.770] | Okay, hold on, let me just stop you right there, okay? First, you lied. Right? |
[17:29.780] | Then you lied about lying, okay? |
[17:32.510] | Then you lied about lying about lying, okay? |
[17:35.580] | So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about lying.. |
[17:42.990] | Stop lying. |
[17:45.030] | Why are you so sure I didn' t watch this tape? |
[17:47.830] | You wanna know why? You wanna know why? |
[17:50.460] | Well, this is going well. |
[17:53.800] | Here' s how I know you didn' t watch. |
[17:55.670] | If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you' d have some comments.. |
[18:00.710] | All right, remember, I got paid a lot of money for this.. |
[18:03.680] | and it only aired in Japan. |
[18:06.780] | Ichiban. |
[18:09.850] | Ichiban, lipstick for men. |
[18:24.800] | Ichiban, lipstick for men. |
[18:31.540] | And that' s how I know you didn' t watch the tape. |
[18:37.010] | He really is a chameleon. |
[18:46.350] | Well, Gladys, say hello to your new home. |
[18:53.730] | Oh, my. Wow. |
[18:56.560] | Oh, she is so nice and big. |
[19:01.670] | Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys, oh, so proudly? |
[19:08.880] | I haven' t really settled on a spot yet. How about right above the TV? |
[19:13.310] | That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door. |
[19:18.920] | Yeah, yeah, and you can get rid of that French poster. |
[19:22.620] | I like that poster. Really? |
[19:25.030] | It doesn' t have anything coming out of it. |
[19:28.230] | Or maybe there' s someplace for her in your bedroom? |
[19:30.860] | There' s nothing above your bed. Are you still here? |
[19:38.240] | Stupid Nobel Prize winner. |
[19:47.810] | Oh, hi. Hello. |
[19:49.820] | Have you come to ask me some more paleontologyrelated questions? |
[19:54.420] | Your grandmother' s nickname, perhaps? AnnMargret' s pant size? |
[20:00.960] | I' ve come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings. |
[20:05.770] | for Charlie interfere with the interview process. |
[20:08.600] | No. Stop. |
[20:11.410] | Anyway, I decided to offer you the grant. |
[20:16.010] | Really? There is just one small stipulation. |
[20:20.980] | I have to break up with Charlie? Hey, you got one right. |
[20:26.450] | You' re crazy. Crazy or romantic? |
[20:31.360] | Crazy. |
[20:35.130] | Or? Get out! |
[20:43.770] | Oh, my God. |
[20:46.970] | What? Joey, what is this thing doing here? |
[20:51.510] | I got her from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price. |
[20:56.480] | Joey, we' re not keeping this. But it' s an original Buffay. |
[21:03.290] | All right, fine. You can keep it. |
[21:06.190] | As long as you don' t mind that she' s haunted. |
[21:08.730] | Hey, what? What? |
[21:10.660] | Well, legend has it, Joey, that she comes alive when you' re asleep. |
[21:17.500] | She climbs out of the frame.. |
[21:20.670] | and then drags her halfabody across the floor.. |
[21:25.150] | just looking for legs to steal. |
[21:28.480] | And then with her one good hand.. |
[21:30.950] | she slowly reaches up.. |
[21:35.090] | and turns your doorknob. |
[21:37.490] | Get that legless witch out of here! |
[21:46.730] | Hey, I sold that to Joey. Yeah, well, I told him it' s haunted. |
[21:50.070] | Two can play at this game. Too late. You can' t give it back. |
[21:53.070] | Oh, yes, I can. No, you can' t, she' s yours. |
[21:55.440] | She' s yours. She' s yours. |
[21:57.010] | She' s yours. Hey. |
[22:00.950] | She' s mine. She' s mine. |
[22:02.650] | She' s mine. She' s mine. ! |
[22:04.690] | You guys, you don' t have to fight over her anymore. |
[22:08.320] | Whoever doesn' t get Gladys, gets Glynnis. |
[22:19.730] | I want Gladys. She' s mine. |
[22:22.070] | She' s mine. She' s mine. |
[22:31.850] | No, no. You don' t get to do that. |
[22:33.650] | I know. Look, I' m sorry I didn' t give them your tape. |
[22:37.120] | And I promise next time to submit you, whether I think you' re right or not. |
[22:41.320] | That' s not the point, Chandler. The point is that you lied. |
[22:44.490] | I know. You' re right. What' s it gonna take for you to forgive me? |
[22:49.260] | Oh, my God. |
[22:54.600] | Excellent. |
[22:57.600] | Now what do you say? |
[23:00.210] | Lying is wrong. |
[23:02.580] | And? And?? |
[23:06.850] | I' m a pretty little girl. |
[23:11.280] | I knew it. |
[23:20.360] | Your exboyfriend is insane. |
[23:24.400] | He is a character. No, no, no. |
[23:26.400] | Charles Nelson Reilly is a character. |
[23:30.070] | Who? Charles Nelson Reilly. |
[23:32.710] | The Ghost and Mrs. Muir? Match Game? The Ghost and Mrs. Muir? Match Game? |
[23:37.480] | Were you never sick as a child? |
[23:40.610] | Whatever. Did you get the grant? No. And you wanna know why? |
[23:43.980] | Because your exboyfriend is still in love with you. |
[23:47.420] | What? Yeah. |
[23:48.620] | He refused me because I wouldn' t give you up. |
[23:51.160] | Benji isn' t in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. |
[23:54.590] | And besides, he' s a very ethical man. Really? |
[23:59.670] | Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review: |
[24:02.600] | " Who was the voice of Underdog?" |
[24:05.310] | I' m sure he was just joking. |
[24:07.040] | If you don' t believe me, let' s go talk to him. |
[24:09.410] | I' m telling you, he didn' t ask me one paleontological question. |
[24:12.650] | Seriously? Oh, I' m sorry. No, he did ask me one: |
[24:15.750] | " How do you spell Boscodictiasaur?" |
[24:18.250] | Well, if it' s like the Lake Mbosco in Congo, then MBO.. . |
[24:21.960] | Damn it. |
[24:26.760] | Dr. Geller. Charlie, what are you doing here? |
[24:30.160] | I want you to tell her everything. |
[24:32.230] | About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you.. |
[24:36.240] | Wally Cox. That' s the voice of Underdog. |
[24:42.180] | Like I tried to tell you in the interview.. |
[24:44.440] | this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia. |
[24:48.550] | No, don' t do that. I want you to look her in the eyes and tell her the truth. |
[24:54.750] | Benji? |
[24:57.060] | All right. It' s true. I behaved horribly, but it' s only because I still love you. |
[25:02.060] | And I would do anything to have you back in my life. |
[25:05.170] | Too little, too late, Benji. |
[25:08.900] | I can' t believe this. I never should' ve broken up with you. |
[25:13.210] | I think about you all the time. Do you ever still think about me? |
[25:18.410] | No. |
[25:20.780] | Yes. What?? |
[25:23.920] | I don' t know what to say, Benji. This is all so... |
[25:28.050] | romantic. |
[25:30.620] | Or? |
[25:34.900] | I know I may be way out of bounds here.. |
[25:37.260] | but is there any chance you would take me back? |
[25:43.270] | Maybe.. |
[25:45.570] | Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable. |
[25:51.140] | Oh, God. I am so sorry, but.. |
[25:55.080] | I mean, there' s so much history between us, you know? |
[26:00.050] | I' m sorry too. |
[26:10.600] | I love you. I love you too. |
[26:16.270] | Okay, that' s it, we are seeing other people. |
[26:39.090] | Gladys? gé lā dá sī? |
[26:47.130] | For the third time this week. Man, this does not get old. |
[26:52.370] | You' re mean! Oh, don' t be such a baby. Please. |