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It was late at night on christmas eve |
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I was dreaming of the soft white snow (white snow) |
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I was awoken by a noise near the christmas tree |
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What it was |
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I did not know |
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It was santa claus, he was bringing me some gifts |
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Unfortunately |
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I did not know that (I didn't know) |
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So I quietly snuck up behind him and |
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I shot him five times in the back |
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It went "bow, bow, bow, bow, bow" |
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He said "what the fuck - ow, ow, ow" |
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Then I shot him three more times in the head |
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Pieces of his brain flew out and he was dead |
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That's when |
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I noticed his blood-soaked beard |
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And his red suit filled with bullet holes (oh, oh) |
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I said "Oh my god, I killed santa claus - I'm not going to jail for this asshole" (Hell no) |
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So I went do my shed and |
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I got my saw |
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And I started to chopedy, chop, chop (chop, chop, chop) |
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I started with his arms, then his legs, then his head and then the torso was a really long job |
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And the blood went spurt, spurt, spurt |
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It was really hard work, work, work |
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It was hard cutting through his spine |
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I must have vomited 16 times |
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I burned all the pieces in my fireplace |
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The smell of burning human flesh filled my nose 11 hours later there was nothing left then thats when |
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I heared my telephone |
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It was aunty |
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Gene looking for uncle |
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Bob She said he left the house dressed as santa claus |
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But he didn't come home last night "Have you seen him, god I hope he's allright" |
