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Where's The Handle -Dane Cook |
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I gotta tell you this, 'cause I always wanted to share |
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This with a crowd. |
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This is a story, it's a coming of age tale. |
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And it's about the first time I ever got head. |
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Come on along with me. |
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I'll never forget this, I was 17 years old. |
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And I took this girl out on a date, I took her to |
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Papagenoo's. And I got her the spaghetti basket. |
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It's delicious. |
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And so, at the very end of the date, drove her home, |
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And we're sitting in front of her house and it's that |
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Awkward moment, you know, when you wanna kiss but |
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You're still so shy. And you end up talking for 4 and a |
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Half f*****g hours. |
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So finally, she leaned in, she was like "Well, anyway, |
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I should probably go 'cause it's dusk. " |
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And I said, "Yeah, I guess I should go to."We both |
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Leaned in and we *peck noise*kissed. And then out of |
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Nowhere, I didn't even expect it. She went "awww". |
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And so very quickly I ripped off my jeans Like I was in |
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The nba, and I put my seat back. And she started to |
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Give me the bocoik, you know. It was fantastic and it |
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Felt so good, and suddenly started feeling tingles and |
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Jingles... Like I was about to bocoik, you know what |
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I'm saying? |
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The law is we have to tell you. Right ladies?We have |
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To let you know, we want to tell you. But we don't, at |
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The same time. So I wan't to tell her, but I tell the |
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Seatbelt instead... |
