| [00:00.411] | Hey,hon?Would you help me get the plates down? |
| [00:03.046] | Yeah.Hey,here’s an idea. |
| [00:05.091] | Why don’t we use our wedding china today? |
| [00:07.029] | No, I just think we should save our china |
| [00:08.457] | for something really special. |
| [00:08.960] | Like if the queen of England comes over. |
| [00:13.479] | Honey,she keeps canceling on us.Take the hint. |
| [00:17.640] | What if something get broken?They’re so expensive. |
| [00:19.791] | What is the point of having them if we never use them? |
| [00:23.079] | Okay.But if something get broken and then the queen comes over. |
| [00:26.081] | I will explain it to her. |
| [00:27.609] | Like I’d let you talk to the queen. |
| [00:31.979] | Wow,the parade is really good this year. |
| [00:35.070] | Man,those horses can crap. |
| [00:38.742] | Next up is a marching band from Muskoqee,Oklahoma. |
| [00:41.181] | Muskoqee?That’s like four hours from Tulsa! |
| [00:46.577] | And here’s the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap..Days of Our Lives. |
| [00:51.835] | Oh,my God!! |
| [00:57.414] | Aren’t you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives? |
| [01:00.591] | Yeah. I forgot! I’m supposed to be there! |
| [01:05.878] | I can’t believe I forgot! |
| [01:07.046] | I usually write stuff like this down on my arm! |
| [01:12.145] | Stupid long sleeves! |
| [01:16.280] | What are you gonna do? |
| [01:17.717] | I’ll come up with a good reason why I wasn’t there. |
| [01:21.463] | The producer are gonna be mad. |
| [01:23.117] | They sat us down and said:“Everyone has to be there,6 a.m. sharp.That means you,Tribbiani.” |
| [01:29.364] | Like I was some kind of idiot. |
| [01:34.136] | Well,you proved them wrong. |
| [02:25.269] | Oh,Emma |
| [02:27.421] | This is your first Thanksgiving.What are you thank for?Mommy’s boobies? |
| [02:35.881] | A lot of people are thankful for those. |
| [02:39.703] | Hello? Rachel? |
| [02:43.201] | Who is it? |
| [02:44.390] | It’s your favorite sister. |
| [02:47.073] | Jill?- Amy!- |
| [02:50.094] | Hide my rings. |
| [02:56.975] | Amy! Happy Thanksgaving. |
| [03:05.174] | Do you have a hair straightener? |
| [03:12.142] | Hair straightener. |
| [03:14.959] | I haven’t seen you in like a year |
| [03:16.887] | I know. I know. I’ve just been crazed. |
| [03:19.862] | Well,me too. I had a baby |
| [03:23.007] | I decorated Dad’s office. |
| [03:26.015] | Yeah? Well,unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. |
| [03:32.722] | Listen, about that hair straightener,honey I really need. I’m gonna have dinner at my boyfriend’s house. |
| [03:39.358] | Oh my God. |
| [03:41.540] | Is this Emmett? |
| [03:48.559] | It’s Emma. |
| [03:49.871] | It’s a girl? |
| [03:53.344] | Hey Amy. |
| [03:54.569] | Amy,you remember Ross? |
| [03:57.211] | Not really. |
| [03:59.355] | But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date. |
| [04:05.911] | That was me.No, he was this creepy guy from high school |
| [04:11.085] | who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade. |
| [04:14.723] | Still me |
| [04:17.761] | No, I’m not talking about you. |
| [04:19.267] | It was your fat friend’s brother with that bad Afro. |
| [04:22.144] | Okay Amy. I’m gonna save you time, okay? |
| [04:24.197] | All me! |
| [04:30.828] | Careful.Careful.Careful |
| [04:36.789] | I’ll tell you what, for the rest of our lives.I’ll be careful until told otherwise. |
| [04:43.881] | This isn’t the china we picked out. I know. |
| [04:46.400] | After you left the store, I chose different ones. |
| [04:50.263] | Why? - No offense, honey. |
| [04:51.762] | but your taste is a little feminine for me. |
| [04:54.251] | Suddenly flowers are feminine? |
| [04:58.368] | Hey,everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [05:01.327] | Happy Thanksgiving.Phoebe! |
| [05:03.884] | What’s going on.Joe? |
| [05:04.845] | Listen. I need a good lie. |
| [05:07.946] | How about the whole “man walking on the moon”thing, you know?“ |
| [05:12.713] | You can see the strings people! |
| [05:16.532] | No,no,no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn’t at a work thing today. |
| [05:20.461] | Honey you stink at lying. |
| [05:22.382] | I do not. |
| [05:23.362] | Really? Let me ask you something. |
| [05:24.819] | Yesterday at the coffeehouse..I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone.Who took it? |
| [05:31.864] | Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse..and a raccoon ran in |
| [05:36.619] | And went straight for your muffin. I said:“Hey don’t eat that!That’s Phoebe’s!” |
| [05:40.265] | And he said: |
| [05:43.855] | He said,”Joey, you stink at lying.” |
| [05:46.396] | What am I gonna do? |
| [05:48.104] | Don’t worry.We’ll come up with a lie. |
| [05:49.666] | I’ll help you practice. |
| [05:50.550] | Great.That’d be great.Thank you |
| [05:52.433] | Sure. What was the work thing? |
| [05:55.846] | “Pick up Grandma at the airport.” -Oh ,man! |
| [06:03.079] | She‘s precious. |
| [06:05.435] | Do you ever worry that she’s gonna get your real nose? |
| [06:09.199] | Amy.. |
| [06:12.149] | Yes I do. I really do. |
| [06:19.054] | Hello? Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs? |
| [06:24.501] | Sure. We don’t live there, but.. |
| [06:28.059] | Seriously? It’s just these rooms? |
| [06:32.388] | I thought you were a doctor. |
| [06:34.350] | Yean no. Ross has a Ph.D. |
| [06:41.938] | God.. She is unbelievable |
| [06:45.175] | I know. I mean, a PhD is just as good as an MD |
| [06:48.436] | Sure. Ross,yeah! |
| [06:50.438] | If I have a heart attack at a restaurant,I want you there with your fossil brush. |
| [06:57.291] | Stupid Thanksgiving.-What? What ?What happened? |
| [07:00.937] | My boyfriend canceled on me. |
| [07:02.825] | I mean, I finally find a real relationship, someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town! |
| [07:10.570] | I swear,it’s almost not even worth dating married guys. |
| [07:14.237] | Don’t say that. |
| [07:18.505] | God, I was so looking forward to this. |
| [07:20.136] | It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. |
| [07:23.339] | We were gonna have sushi. |
| [07:27.105] | Amy..don’t cry |
| [07:30.521] | Ross,can I talk to you in private? |
| [07:32.807] | Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or? |
| [07:39.241] | Look. I was thinking. If it’s okay with Monica.. |
| [07:41.818] | I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. |
| [07:45.473] | You know, I think that’s a great idea. It‘ll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. |
| [07:52.638] | Look. I know she’s a little tough to take. |
| [07:54.539] | But she has nowhere to go and she’s my sister. She’s Emma’s aunt. |
| [08:00.374] | And I would like them to bond. |
| [08:02.589] | Ok,fine. I don’t want them bonding too much. |
| [08:05.710] | I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. |
| [08:08.061] | Ross you know what she may need one.We’re just gonna have to make our peace with that! |
| [08:19.611] | Hey you guys. This is my sister Amy. |
| [08:25.259] | This is Chandler.Joey.Phoebe. and you know Mon. |
| [08:29.310] | Oh my god. You‘re on Days of Our lives! |
| [08:33.308] | Yeah |
| [08:34.933] | Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you! |
| [08:40.363] | Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [08:48.376] | So welcome. Is this the first time you’re seeing Emma? |
| [08:51.411] | Yeah.. I think so |
| [08:52.991] | It’s nice to meet you.Emma |
| [08:56.560] | Phoebe.-That’s a funny noise. |
| [09:03.878] | Phoebe? I still need some help here. Right okay. |
| [09:08.031] | So it’s not just the lie you tell but it’s the way you tell it. For example |
| [09:12.048] | If you look at the ground when you’re talking, people know you’re lying. |
| [09:16.513] | I don’t know why this is so hard for me , lying is basically just acting |
| [09:21.027] | and I am a terrific actor |
| [09:22.298] | You’re a terrific actor |
| [09:26.986] | Hey. Where’s the baby? |
| [09:28.929] | We just put her down for a nap. |
| [09:30.864] | Listen I was just thinking, you know what would be incredible? |
| [09:34.647] | If you guys died.. |
| [09:38.869] | Thank you Amy. |
| [09:41.296] | No,no then I would get the baby |
| [09:44.304] | It would be just like a movie. |
| [09:46.598] | At first I wouldn’t know what to do with her and then I would rise to the occasion |
| [09:48.720] | I’d get a makeover and get married |
| [09:53.132] | That’s a great movie! |
| [09:57.380] | Now listen.Not that you guys could stop me or anything |
| [10:00.166] | Because you know you’d be dead. |
| [10:02.734] | But I was thinking about changing her name |
| [10:05.331] | I’m just not really a big fan of Emily. |
| [10:09.286] | Emma |
| [10:11.536] | Emma? Ross wants you. |
| [10:16.053] | Pheobe! |
| [10:19.269] | Why does she keep making that noise? |
| [10:25.124] | Honey I don’t know how to tell you this .. |
| [10:27.131] | But if something were to happen to Ross or myself |
| [10:31.270] | you would’t get the baby |
| [10:34.088] | Well who would? |
| [10:36.338] | Well we haven’t officially asked them yet |
| [10:39.019] | But we would want Monica and Chandler |
| [10:42.753] | I can’t believe you’d want us to raise Emma |
| [10:45.474] | Oh my God. I’m so moved. |
| [10:47.689] | I don't believe this.Hold on a second. You guys die |
| [10:49.886] | and I don’t get your baby? |
| [10:52.718] | Amy see..we’re a lot closer to Monica and Chandler |
| [10:56.454] | We see them every day. And truthfully you don’t seem connected to the baby |
| [11:00.656] | Connected? To what? She’s a lump. |
| [11:06.992] | You know guys I’ve gotta say this means so much to me |
| [11:09.863] | I mean that you would trust me ..with your child |
| [11:14.009] | I mean we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own |
| [11:20.060] | You know. I’ve had my doubts about my skills as a father. |
| [11:23.132] | But..that you two ..that you two.. |
| [11:29.204] | This guy? Seriously? |
| [11:37.527] | |
| [11:39.252] | Okay. It’s time for dinner |
| [11:41.477] | Everyone we’re using our fancy china and it’s very expensive. So please be careful |
| [11:48.756] | |
| [11:55.426] | Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well-received. |
| [12:06.962] | Hey..How come my plates less fancy than everyone else’s? |
| [12:13.674] | Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? |
| [12:16.560] | No honey..That’s a special plate |
| [12:19.298] | See..it’s a game.Whoever gets that plate wins. |
| [12:25.290] | I can’t believe I won! |
| [12:28.715] | You know this is such a slap in the face . I mean I’m your sister and you would give you baby to these strangers over me |
| [12:36.460] | Monica is Ross’ sister |
| [12:39.527] | No Ross’ sister was really fat. |
| [12:44.777] | That was me |
| [12:47.143] | No she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy |
| [12:51.630] | Amy you’ve got to stop doing that! |
| [12:55.946] | |
| [13:00.342] | Okay.listen I know you’re having a bit of a family crisis but you don’t have to take it out on the plates. |
| [13:06.034] | I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut the food like this.. |
| [13:15.245] | See it , this way you protect plates and let’s face it you have fun |
| [13:21.834] | Okay how about this? If you guys die ..and the crazy plate lady dies |
| [13:28.314] | Then do I get the baby? |
| [13:31.679] | No if crazy plate lady.. |
| [13:35.730] | If Monica dies then I would get Emma.Right? |
| [13:39.482] | |
| [13:42.916] | Well,actually. |
| [13:44.235] | Actually what? |
| [13:45.730] | It’s just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents |
| [13:52.938] | What ? - Hurts, doesn’t it? |
| [13:57.604] | Who has to die for me to get her? |
| [14:00.599] | |
| [14:07.666] | So if Moinca’s not around I’m not good enough to raise Emma? |
| [14:11.189] | No that is not what we’re saying |
| [14:13.920] | Yeah..he’s lying.He looked down |
| [14:17.861] | What’s wrong with me? Am I incompetent? |
| [14:20.202] | Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you |
| [14:26.819] | You’re taking this the wrong way. We think you are going to be a wonderful parent |
| [14:31.788] | It’s jus， you're more the you know ..fun parent |
| [14:35.738] | Yeah and we wanna make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica |
| [14:41.171] | who’s more of a disciplinarian.Someone who can be firm and strict |
| [14:45.570] | That’s not how you see me ,is it? |
| [14:48.451] | No you’re all about the fun |
| [14:53.719] | |
| [14:57.268] | I may not know a lot about babies but do you really think I’m not capable |
| [15:01.217] | No. You both are equally capable |
| [15:03.872] | It’s just you’re strongest when you’re together. |
| [15:06.989] | Okay, So if we both had Emma and I died，she ‘d have to give her up |
| [15:13.907] | Sure,Monica would have to give he up |
| [15:16.323] | |
| [15:17.506] | I lie better than that right? |
| [15:21.225] | |
| [15:21.636] | Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die I get Emma ,then my wife dies.Then Emma |
| [15:27.542] | the one tiny ray of hope left in my life.. gets taken away from me? |
| [15:31.242] | There’s your movie. |
| [15:36.057] | |
| [15:37.555] | Hey, there you are |
| [15:39.880] | You disappeared after dinner |
| [15:41.622] | Did somebody miss me? Was there a child to raise poorly? |
| [15:46.722] | Ross and Rachel don’t know what they’re saying. |
| [15:50.102] | It’s not like they’re so responsible.Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a five-year-old condom |
| [15:59.044] | No they’re right. I’m not a strong father figure, and I never will be. |
| [16:03.626] | No you learn these things. You grow into it. |
| [16:05.280] | Yeah,but it’s not who I am |
| [16:07.193] | Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. It’s true. |
| [16:11.994] | And look everybody knows it |
| [16:13.681] | I don’t know it |
| [16:15.425] | I wanna have a kid with you because I think you’ll be an amazing dad. |
| [16:19.257] | At the fun parts and at the hard parts |
| [16:22.712] | Well can you picture me saying “Go to your room you’re grounded”? |
| [16:25.878] | Can you hear me say”You’re grounded”? |
| [16:28.492] | You said that to me last week |
| [16:32.631] | How hard is it?“No shoes on the furniture!” |
| [16:38.080] | |
| [16:41.629] | The producer from Davs left a message asking why I wasn’t at the parade |
| [16:47.464] | They said everybody’s really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa! |
| [16:53.031] | It’s okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you. |
| [16:55.577] | It’s easy to remember and it doesn’t invite a lot of questions. |
| [16:59.299] | You weren’t at the parade because you had family emergency |
| [17:03.562] | I like that! Yeah |
| [17:06.528] | I wasn’t at the parade because I had a family emergency. |
| [17:09.368] | What happened? |
| [17:11.466] | My sister’s raccoon came.. No nothing with a raccoon! |
| [17:16.777] | |
| [17:17.649] | Wait..what are you doing? - setting the table |
| [17:19.837] | We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert, too |
| [17:24.248] | How nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. |
| [17:35.417] | Hey dude you okay? |
| [17:36.878] | Sorry about before |
| [17:37.927] | That’s okay.You’re totally right I don't know anything about disciplining a child. |
| [17:42.334] | But it did hurt my feelings. And I want you to know that if I died ..you don’t get joey |
| [17:53.089] | |
| [18:02.769] | In case you hadn’t noticed I’m not talking to you |
| [18:08.250] | You know.. this is just.. This is classic Rachel |
| [18:11.060] | Oh yeah right.Remember in high school when I died and didn’t give you my baby? |
| [18:18.298] | This might be my one chance to have a child Rachel |
| [18:22.336] | I mean you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career |
| [18:24.168] | What career? - I’m a decorator |
| [18:28.635] | You decorate Dad’s office and now you’re a decorator? |
| [18:32.269] | okay I went to the zoo yesterday.Now I’m a koala bear. |
| [18:39.927] | Why can’t you ever be supportive? |
| [18:42.018] | You wanna talk supportive? |
| [18:43.872] | You didn’t come and visit me when I was in hospital having the baby! |
| [18:48.004] | You didn’t come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! |
| [18:53.391] | I did the first time |
| [18:57.980] | You know what？ You wanna know why I am not giving Emily to you? |
| [19:01.076] | Emma - |
| [19:01.605] | Whose side are you on?! |
| [19:05.418] | I’m not giving you Emma because you can’t handle the responsibility of a child. |
| [19:10.147] | Well how hard could it be? You do it |
| [19:17.915] | You wanna know why you don’t want me to have the baby? |
| [19:21.255] | Because you don’t want me to be happy |
| [19:23.707] | You have always been jealous of me |
| [19:26.061] | Jealous of what? |
| [19:27.494] | Of you lack of responsibility?Your immaturity? your total disregard for other people’s feelings? |
| [19:34.673] | To name a few |
| [19:38.942] | You know. You’ve always been like this.You had to have everything. |
| [19:40.906] | and I couldn’t have anything. |
| [19:44.478] | Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean do you even realize how much that hurt me? |
| [19:50.722] | Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with hime! |
| [19:53.191] | Come on that was 20 years ago |
| [19:54.340] | Get over it |
| [19:56.943] | I cannot believe that I invited you here today! |
| [19:59.877] | Yeah well you know what I cannot believe |
| [20:01.705] | That my so-called sister |
| [20:03.808] | Gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren. |
| [20:06.693] | and I still have to pay retail? |
| [20:10.161] | It’s 45. |
| [20:14.193] | You bitch |
| [20:18.541] | You just think you’re so perfect with your new baby and your small apartment |
| [20:26.043] | Well let me tell you something. |
| [20:28.297] | Your baby isn’t even that cute |
| [20:32.447] | Too far Amy.Too far |
| [20:38.279] | |
| [20:40.183] | Take it back. -No what are you gonna do ?Make me? |
| [20:41.329] | Hey man I work out! |
| [20:47.679] | So do I |
| [20:48.591] | I do Pilates |
| [20:49.560] | I do yoga. |
| [20:50.651] | Bring it on! |
| [20:55.744] | Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes! |
| [20:57.831] | Did you just push me? - Yeah I think I did |
| [21:00.000] | All right that’s it. |
| [21:01.411] | Forget the bubble wrap!There isn’t time! |
| [21:12.858] | Oh my god.Shouldn’t we stop this? |
| [21:15.195] | Are you out of your mind? Let’s throw some jell-O on them! |
| [21:36.733] | All right that is it! This our apartment and you cannot behave this way! |
| [21:41.880] | If you can’t act your age you shouldn’t be here at all |
| [21:44.566] | Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out. |
| [21:50.070] | but they’re very important to Monica. |
| [21:52.000] | And I want you to apologize to her, now |
| [21:55.598] | I'm sorry.-Mon,I’m so sorry |
| [21:58.753] | Okay That’s better |
| [22:00.293] | Now I want you to apologize to each other and mean it |
| [22:03.809] | Sorry. Sorry |
| [22:06.140] | By the way that fight was totally arousing |
| [22:13.753] | Dude.Well done. If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies.you can totally take care of Emma. |
| [22:22.118] | Yeah,well thanks. |
| [22:24.336] | So..so now do I get Joey? |
| [22:28.808] | Okay .but you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose. |
| [22:38.903] | Are you okay?mon? |
| [22:41.109] | I mean these things happen. |
| [22:43.237] | I means it’s just a plate.It’s not somebody died |
| [22:47.072] | It’s all right. You can mourn |
| [22:49.145] | Thank you. It was so beautiful |
| [22:55.369] | I’m gonna go to Joey’s and get the pies. |
| [22:57.408] | Actually not pies.It’s just a pie |
| [23:02.751] | I don’t care |
| [23:05.013] | Oh my god. I’ve lost the will to scold |
| [23:12.962] | Look Amy.. |
| [23:15.315] | We got a little.. a little out of control over there |
| [23:20.687] | And I’m sorry. You are my sister and if it really means that much to you |
| [23:28.028] | So you’re gonna give me the baby? |
| [23:29.839] | No I was.. I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount |
| [23:35.308] | You are not gonna regret this |
| [23:41.740] | She needs changing. |
| [23:42.723] | No no no .I’ll get her |
| [23:44.907] | I am super confident ,totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma |
| [23:49.222] | I’ll be right there,Emma |
| [23:50.356] | Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. |
| [23:59.134] | Well.what do you know?I guess I’ll be the one who dies first |
| [24:18.679] | Does Monica know about you breaking her plates yet? |
| [24:20.642] | Nope |
| [24:21.509] | Broke them all, huh? -Yep |
| [24:23.059] | You gonna tell her?-Nope |
| [24:27.624] | Hey .So I’m gonna put the plates back |
| [24:31.052] | I think you’re right.We shouldn’t use these plates for a long time |
| [24:34.479] | Like only if the queen comes? |
| [24:35.934] | Maybe not even then. |
| [24:39.196] | Hey I did it |
| [24:40.643] | I told my producer I had a family emergency.He totally bought it |
| [24:44.855] | Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phebs |
| [24:46.227] | No problem.Next week,stealing |
| [24:50.791] | Bye plates |
| [24:51.908] | You told her you broke all the plates? |
| [24:55.968] | What？Something happened with the plates? |
| [25:00.133] | Yeah..this raccoon came in.. |
| [00:00.411] | Hey, hon? Would you help me get the plates down? |
| [00:03.046] | Yeah. Hey, here' s an idea. |
| [00:05.091] | Why don' t we use our wedding china today? |
| [00:07.029] | No, I just think we should save our china |
| [00:08.457] | for something really special. |
| [00:08.960] | Like if the queen of England comes over. |
| [00:13.479] | Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint. |
| [00:17.640] | What if something get broken? They' re so expensive. |
| [00:19.791] | What is the point of having them if we never use them? |
| [00:23.079] | Okay. But if something get broken and then the queen comes over. |
| [00:26.081] | I will explain it to her. |
| [00:27.609] | Like I' d let you talk to the queen. |
| [00:31.979] | Wow, the parade is really good this year. |
| [00:35.070] | Man, those horses can crap. |
| [00:38.742] | Next up is a marching band from Muskoqee, Oklahoma. |
| [00:41.181] | Muskoqee? That' s like four hours from Tulsa! |
| [00:46.577] | And here' s the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap.. Days of Our Lives. |
| [00:51.835] | Oh, my God!! |
| [00:57.414] | Aren' t you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives? |
| [01:00.591] | Yeah. I forgot! I' m supposed to be there! |
| [01:05.878] | I can' t believe I forgot! |
| [01:07.046] | I usually write stuff like this down on my arm! |
| [01:12.145] | Stupid long sleeves! |
| [01:16.280] | What are you gonna do? |
| [01:17.717] | I' ll come up with a good reason why I wasn' t there. |
| [01:21.463] | The producer are gonna be mad. |
| [01:23.117] | They sat us down and said:" Everyone has to be there, 6 a. m. sharp. That means you, Tribbiani." |
| [01:29.364] | Like I was some kind of idiot. |
| [01:34.136] | Well, you proved them wrong. |
| [02:25.269] | Oh, Emma |
| [02:27.421] | This is your first Thanksgiving. What are you thank for? Mommy' s boobies? |
| [02:35.881] | A lot of people are thankful for those. |
| [02:39.703] | Hello? Rachel? |
| [02:43.201] | Who is it? |
| [02:44.390] | It' s your favorite sister. |
| [02:47.073] | Jill? Amy! |
| [02:50.094] | Hide my rings. |
| [02:56.975] | Amy! Happy Thanksgaving. |
| [03:05.174] | Do you have a hair straightener? |
| [03:12.142] | Hair straightener. |
| [03:14.959] | I haven' t seen you in like a year |
| [03:16.887] | I know. I know. I' ve just been crazed. |
| [03:19.862] | Well, me too. I had a baby |
| [03:23.007] | I decorated Dad' s office. |
| [03:26.015] | Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. |
| [03:32.722] | Listen, about that hair straightener, honey I really need. I' m gonna have dinner at my boyfriend' s house. |
| [03:39.358] | Oh my God. |
| [03:41.540] | Is this Emmett? |
| [03:48.559] | It' s Emma. |
| [03:49.871] | It' s a girl? |
| [03:53.344] | Hey Amy. |
| [03:54.569] | Amy, you remember Ross? |
| [03:57.211] | Not really. |
| [03:59.355] | But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date. |
| [04:05.911] | That was me. No, he was this creepy guy from high school |
| [04:11.085] | who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade. |
| [04:14.723] | Still me |
| [04:17.761] | No, I' m not talking about you. |
| [04:19.267] | It was your fat friend' s brother with that bad Afro. |
| [04:22.144] | Okay Amy. I' m gonna save you time, okay? |
| [04:24.197] | All me! |
| [04:30.828] | Careful. Careful. Careful |
| [04:36.789] | I' ll tell you what, for the rest of our lives. I' ll be careful until told otherwise. |
| [04:43.881] | This isn' t the china we picked out. I know. |
| [04:46.400] | After you left the store, I chose different ones. |
| [04:50.263] | Why? No offense, honey. |
| [04:51.762] | but your taste is a little feminine for me. |
| [04:54.251] | Suddenly flowers are feminine? |
| [04:58.368] | Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [05:01.327] | Happy Thanksgiving. Phoebe! |
| [05:03.884] | What' s going on. Joe? |
| [05:04.845] | Listen. I need a good lie. |
| [05:07.946] | How about the whole " man walking on the moon" thing, you know?" |
| [05:12.713] | You can see the strings people! |
| [05:16.532] | No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn' t at a work thing today. |
| [05:20.461] | Honey you stink at lying. |
| [05:22.382] | I do not. |
| [05:23.362] | Really? Let me ask you something. |
| [05:24.819] | Yesterday at the coffeehouse.. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it? |
| [05:31.864] | Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse.. and a raccoon ran in |
| [05:36.619] | And went straight for your muffin. I said:" Hey don' t eat that! That' s Phoebe' s!" |
| [05:40.265] | And he said: |
| [05:43.855] | He said," Joey, you stink at lying." |
| [05:46.396] | What am I gonna do? |
| [05:48.104] | Don' t worry. We' ll come up with a lie. |
| [05:49.666] | I' ll help you practice. |
| [05:50.550] | Great. That' d be great. Thank you |
| [05:52.433] | Sure. What was the work thing? |
| [05:55.846] | " Pick up Grandma at the airport." Oh , man! |
| [06:03.079] | She' s precious. |
| [06:05.435] | Do you ever worry that she' s gonna get your real nose? |
| [06:09.199] | Amy.. |
| [06:12.149] | Yes I do. I really do. |
| [06:19.054] | Hello? Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs? |
| [06:24.501] | Sure. We don' t live there, but.. |
| [06:28.059] | Seriously? It' s just these rooms? |
| [06:32.388] | I thought you were a doctor. |
| [06:34.350] | Yean no. Ross has a Ph. D. |
| [06:41.938] | God.. She is unbelievable |
| [06:45.175] | I know. I mean, a PhD is just as good as an MD |
| [06:48.436] | Sure. Ross, yeah! |
| [06:50.438] | If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. |
| [06:57.291] | Stupid Thanksgiving. What? What ? What happened? |
| [07:00.937] | My boyfriend canceled on me. |
| [07:02.825] | I mean, I finally find a real relationship, someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town! |
| [07:10.570] | I swear, it' s almost not even worth dating married guys. |
| [07:14.237] | Don' t say that. |
| [07:18.505] | God, I was so looking forward to this. |
| [07:20.136] | It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. |
| [07:23.339] | We were gonna have sushi. |
| [07:27.105] | Amy.. don' t cry |
| [07:30.521] | Ross, can I talk to you in private? |
| [07:32.807] | Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or? |
| [07:39.241] | Look. I was thinking. If it' s okay with Monica.. |
| [07:41.818] | I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. |
| [07:45.473] | You know, I think that' s a great idea. It' ll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. |
| [07:52.638] | Look. I know she' s a little tough to take. |
| [07:54.539] | But she has nowhere to go and she' s my sister. She' s Emma' s aunt. |
| [08:00.374] | And I would like them to bond. |
| [08:02.589] | Ok, fine. I don' t want them bonding too much. |
| [08:05.710] | I don' t want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. |
| [08:08.061] | Ross you know what she may need one. We' re just gonna have to make our peace with that! |
| [08:19.611] | Hey you guys. This is my sister Amy. |
| [08:25.259] | This is Chandler. Joey. Phoebe. and you know Mon. |
| [08:29.310] | Oh my god. You' re on Days of Our lives! |
| [08:33.308] | Yeah |
| [08:34.933] | Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you! |
| [08:40.363] | Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [08:48.376] | So welcome. Is this the first time you' re seeing Emma? |
| [08:51.411] | Yeah.. I think so |
| [08:52.991] | It' s nice to meet you. Emma |
| [08:56.560] | Phoebe. That' s a funny noise. |
| [09:03.878] | Phoebe? I still need some help here. Right okay. |
| [09:08.031] | So it' s not just the lie you tell but it' s the way you tell it. For example |
| [09:12.048] | If you look at the ground when you' re talking, people know you' re lying. |
| [09:16.513] | I don' t know why this is so hard for me , lying is basically just acting |
| [09:21.027] | and I am a terrific actor |
| [09:22.298] | You' re a terrific actor |
| [09:26.986] | Hey. Where' s the baby? |
| [09:28.929] | We just put her down for a nap. |
| [09:30.864] | Listen I was just thinking, you know what would be incredible? |
| [09:34.647] | If you guys died.. |
| [09:38.869] | Thank you Amy. |
| [09:41.296] | No, no then I would get the baby |
| [09:44.304] | It would be just like a movie. |
| [09:46.598] | At first I wouldn' t know what to do with her and then I would rise to the occasion |
| [09:48.720] | I' d get a makeover and get married |
| [09:53.132] | That' s a great movie! |
| [09:57.380] | Now listen. Not that you guys could stop me or anything |
| [10:00.166] | Because you know you' d be dead. |
| [10:02.734] | But I was thinking about changing her name |
| [10:05.331] | I' m just not really a big fan of Emily. |
| [10:09.286] | Emma |
| [10:11.536] | Emma? Ross wants you. |
| [10:16.053] | Pheobe! |
| [10:19.269] | Why does she keep making that noise? |
| [10:25.124] | Honey I don' t know how to tell you this .. |
| [10:27.131] | But if something were to happen to Ross or myself |
| [10:31.270] | you would' t get the baby |
| [10:34.088] | Well who would? |
| [10:36.338] | Well we haven' t officially asked them yet |
| [10:39.019] | But we would want Monica and Chandler |
| [10:42.753] | I can' t believe you' d want us to raise Emma |
| [10:45.474] | Oh my God. I' m so moved. |
| [10:47.689] | I don' t believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die |
| [10:49.886] | and I don' t get your baby? |
| [10:52.718] | Amy see.. we' re a lot closer to Monica and Chandler |
| [10:56.454] | We see them every day. And truthfully you don' t seem connected to the baby |
| [11:00.656] | Connected? To what? She' s a lump. |
| [11:06.992] | You know guys I' ve gotta say this means so much to me |
| [11:09.863] | I mean that you would trust me .. with your child |
| [11:14.009] | I mean we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own |
| [11:20.060] | You know. I' ve had my doubts about my skills as a father. |
| [11:23.132] | But.. that you two .. that you two.. |
| [11:29.204] | This guy? Seriously? |
| [11:37.527] | |
| [11:39.252] | Okay. It' s time for dinner |
| [11:41.477] | Everyone we' re using our fancy china and it' s very expensive. So please be careful |
| [11:48.756] | |
| [11:55.426] | Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be wellreceived. |
| [12:06.962] | Hey.. How come my plates less fancy than everyone else' s? |
| [12:13.674] | Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? |
| [12:16.560] | No honey.. That' s a special plate |
| [12:19.298] | See.. it' s a game. Whoever gets that plate wins. |
| [12:25.290] | I can' t believe I won! |
| [12:28.715] | You know this is such a slap in the face . I mean I' m your sister and you would give you baby to these strangers over me |
| [12:36.460] | Monica is Ross' sister |
| [12:39.527] | No Ross' sister was really fat. |
| [12:44.777] | That was me |
| [12:47.143] | No she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy |
| [12:51.630] | Amy you' ve got to stop doing that! |
| [12:55.946] | |
| [13:00.342] | Okay. listen I know you' re having a bit of a family crisis but you don' t have to take it out on the plates. |
| [13:06.034] | I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut the food like this.. |
| [13:15.245] | See it , this way you protect plates and let' s face it you have fun |
| [13:21.834] | Okay how about this? If you guys die .. and the crazy plate lady dies |
| [13:28.314] | Then do I get the baby? |
| [13:31.679] | No if crazy plate lady.. |
| [13:35.730] | If Monica dies then I would get Emma. Right? |
| [13:39.482] | |
| [13:42.916] | Well, actually. |
| [13:44.235] | Actually what? |
| [13:45.730] | It' s just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents |
| [13:52.938] | What ? Hurts, doesn' t it? |
| [13:57.604] | Who has to die for me to get her? |
| [14:00.599] | |
| [14:07.666] | So if Moinca' s not around I' m not good enough to raise Emma? |
| [14:11.189] | No that is not what we' re saying |
| [14:13.920] | Yeah.. he' s lying. He looked down |
| [14:17.861] | What' s wrong with me? Am I incompetent? |
| [14:20.202] | Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you |
| [14:26.819] | You' re taking this the wrong way. We think you are going to be a wonderful parent |
| [14:31.788] | It' s jus, you' re more the you know .. fun parent |
| [14:35.738] | Yeah and we wanna make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica |
| [14:41.171] | who' s more of a disciplinarian. Someone who can be firm and strict |
| [14:45.570] | That' s not how you see me , is it? |
| [14:48.451] | No you' re all about the fun |
| [14:53.719] | |
| [14:57.268] | I may not know a lot about babies but do you really think I' m not capable |
| [15:01.217] | No. You both are equally capable |
| [15:03.872] | It' s just you' re strongest when you' re together. |
| [15:06.989] | Okay, So if we both had Emma and I died, she ' d have to give her up |
| [15:13.907] | Sure, Monica would have to give he up |
| [15:16.323] | |
| [15:17.506] | I lie better than that right? |
| [15:21.225] | |
| [15:21.636] | Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die I get Emma , then my wife dies. Then Emma |
| [15:27.542] | the one tiny ray of hope left in my life.. gets taken away from me? |
| [15:31.242] | There' s your movie. |
| [15:36.057] | |
| [15:37.555] | Hey, there you are |
| [15:39.880] | You disappeared after dinner |
| [15:41.622] | Did somebody miss me? Was there a child to raise poorly? |
| [15:46.722] | Ross and Rachel don' t know what they' re saying. |
| [15:50.102] | It' s not like they' re so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a fiveyearold condom |
| [15:59.044] | No they' re right. I' m not a strong father figure, and I never will be. |
| [16:03.626] | No you learn these things. You grow into it. |
| [16:05.280] | Yeah, but it' s not who I am |
| [16:07.193] | Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. It' s true. |
| [16:11.994] | And look everybody knows it |
| [16:13.681] | I don' t know it |
| [16:15.425] | I wanna have a kid with you because I think you' ll be an amazing dad. |
| [16:19.257] | At the fun parts and at the hard parts |
| [16:22.712] | Well can you picture me saying " Go to your room you' re grounded"? |
| [16:25.878] | Can you hear me say" You' re grounded"? |
| [16:28.492] | You said that to me last week |
| [16:32.631] | How hard is it?" No shoes on the furniture!" |
| [16:38.080] | |
| [16:41.629] | The producer from Davs left a message asking why I wasn' t at the parade |
| [16:47.464] | They said everybody' s really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa! |
| [16:53.031] | It' s okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you. |
| [16:55.577] | It' s easy to remember and it doesn' t invite a lot of questions. |
| [16:59.299] | You weren' t at the parade because you had family emergency |
| [17:03.562] | I like that! Yeah |
| [17:06.528] | I wasn' t at the parade because I had a family emergency. |
| [17:09.368] | What happened? |
| [17:11.466] | My sister' s raccoon came.. No nothing with a raccoon! |
| [17:16.777] | |
| [17:17.649] | Wait.. what are you doing? setting the table |
| [17:19.837] | We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert, too |
| [17:24.248] | How nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. |
| [17:35.417] | Hey dude you okay? |
| [17:36.878] | Sorry about before |
| [17:37.927] | That' s okay. You' re totally right I don' t know anything about disciplining a child. |
| [17:42.334] | But it did hurt my feelings. And I want you to know that if I died .. you don' t get joey |
| [17:53.089] | |
| [18:02.769] | In case you hadn' t noticed I' m not talking to you |
| [18:08.250] | You know.. this is just.. This is classic Rachel |
| [18:11.060] | Oh yeah right. Remember in high school when I died and didn' t give you my baby? |
| [18:18.298] | This might be my one chance to have a child Rachel |
| [18:22.336] | I mean you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career |
| [18:24.168] | What career? I' m a decorator |
| [18:28.635] | You decorate Dad' s office and now you' re a decorator? |
| [18:32.269] | okay I went to the zoo yesterday. Now I' m a koala bear. |
| [18:39.927] | Why can' t you ever be supportive? |
| [18:42.018] | You wanna talk supportive? |
| [18:43.872] | You didn' t come and visit me when I was in hospital having the baby! |
| [18:48.004] | You didn' t come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! |
| [18:53.391] | I did the first time |
| [18:57.980] | You know what? You wanna know why I am not giving Emily to you? |
| [19:01.076] | Emma |
| [19:01.605] | Whose side are you on?! |
| [19:05.418] | I' m not giving you Emma because you can' t handle the responsibility of a child. |
| [19:10.147] | Well how hard could it be? You do it |
| [19:17.915] | You wanna know why you don' t want me to have the baby? |
| [19:21.255] | Because you don' t want me to be happy |
| [19:23.707] | You have always been jealous of me |
| [19:26.061] | Jealous of what? |
| [19:27.494] | Of you lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? your total disregard for other people' s feelings? |
| [19:34.673] | To name a few |
| [19:38.942] | You know. You' ve always been like this. You had to have everything. |
| [19:40.906] | and I couldn' t have anything. |
| [19:44.478] | Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean do you even realize how much that hurt me? |
| [19:50.722] | Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with hime! |
| [19:53.191] | Come on that was 20 years ago |
| [19:54.340] | Get over it |
| [19:56.943] | I cannot believe that I invited you here today! |
| [19:59.877] | Yeah well you know what I cannot believe |
| [20:01.705] | That my socalled sister |
| [20:03.808] | Gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren. |
| [20:06.693] | and I still have to pay retail? |
| [20:10.161] | It' s 45. |
| [20:14.193] | You bitch |
| [20:18.541] | You just think you' re so perfect with your new baby and your small apartment |
| [20:26.043] | Well let me tell you something. |
| [20:28.297] | Your baby isn' t even that cute |
| [20:32.447] | Too far Amy. Too far |
| [20:38.279] | |
| [20:40.183] | Take it back. No what are you gonna do ? Make me? |
| [20:41.329] | Hey man I work out! |
| [20:47.679] | So do I |
| [20:48.591] | I do Pilates |
| [20:49.560] | I do yoga. |
| [20:50.651] | Bring it on! |
| [20:55.744] | Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes! |
| [20:57.831] | Did you just push me? Yeah I think I did |
| [21:00.000] | All right that' s it. |
| [21:01.411] | Forget the bubble wrap! There isn' t time! |
| [21:12.858] | Oh my god. Shouldn' t we stop this? |
| [21:15.195] | Are you out of your mind? Let' s throw some jellO on them! |
| [21:36.733] | All right that is it! This our apartment and you cannot behave this way! |
| [21:41.880] | If you can' t act your age you shouldn' t be here at all |
| [21:44.566] | Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out. |
| [21:50.070] | but they' re very important to Monica. |
| [21:52.000] | And I want you to apologize to her, now |
| [21:55.598] | I' m sorry. Mon, I' m so sorry |
| [21:58.753] | Okay That' s better |
| [22:00.293] | Now I want you to apologize to each other and mean it |
| [22:03.809] | Sorry. Sorry |
| [22:06.140] | By the way that fight was totally arousing |
| [22:13.753] | Dude. Well done. If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies. you can totally take care of Emma. |
| [22:22.118] | Yeah, well thanks. |
| [22:24.336] | So.. so now do I get Joey? |
| [22:28.808] | Okay . but you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose. |
| [22:38.903] | Are you okay? mon? |
| [22:41.109] | I mean these things happen. |
| [22:43.237] | I means it' s just a plate. It' s not somebody died |
| [22:47.072] | It' s all right. You can mourn |
| [22:49.145] | Thank you. It was so beautiful |
| [22:55.369] | I' m gonna go to Joey' s and get the pies. |
| [22:57.408] | Actually not pies. It' s just a pie |
| [23:02.751] | I don' t care |
| [23:05.013] | Oh my god. I' ve lost the will to scold |
| [23:12.962] | Look Amy.. |
| [23:15.315] | We got a little.. a little out of control over there |
| [23:20.687] | And I' m sorry. You are my sister and if it really means that much to you |
| [23:28.028] | So you' re gonna give me the baby? |
| [23:29.839] | No I was.. I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount |
| [23:35.308] | You are not gonna regret this |
| [23:41.740] | She needs changing. |
| [23:42.723] | No no no . I' ll get her |
| [23:44.907] | I am super confident , totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma |
| [23:49.222] | I' ll be right there, Emma |
| [23:50.356] | Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. |
| [23:59.134] | Well. what do you know? I guess I' ll be the one who dies first |
| [24:18.679] | Does Monica know about you breaking her plates yet? |
| [24:20.642] | Nope |
| [24:21.509] | Broke them all, huh? Yep |
| [24:23.059] | You gonna tell her? Nope |
| [24:27.624] | Hey . So I' m gonna put the plates back |
| [24:31.052] | I think you' re right. We shouldn' t use these plates for a long time |
| [24:34.479] | Like only if the queen comes? |
| [24:35.934] | Maybe not even then. |
| [24:39.196] | Hey I did it |
| [24:40.643] | I told my producer I had a family emergency. He totally bought it |
| [24:44.855] | Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phebs |
| [24:46.227] | No problem. Next week, stealing |
| [24:50.791] | Bye plates |
| [24:51.908] | You told her you broke all the plates? |
| [24:55.968] | What? Something happened with the plates? |
| [25:00.133] | Yeah.. this raccoon came in.. |
| [00:00.411] | Hey, hon? Would you help me get the plates down? |
| [00:03.046] | Yeah. Hey, here' s an idea. |
| [00:05.091] | Why don' t we use our wedding china today? |
| [00:07.029] | No, I just think we should save our china |
| [00:08.457] | for something really special. |
| [00:08.960] | Like if the queen of England comes over. |
| [00:13.479] | Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint. |
| [00:17.640] | What if something get broken? They' re so expensive. |
| [00:19.791] | What is the point of having them if we never use them? |
| [00:23.079] | Okay. But if something get broken and then the queen comes over. |
| [00:26.081] | I will explain it to her. |
| [00:27.609] | Like I' d let you talk to the queen. |
| [00:31.979] | Wow, the parade is really good this year. |
| [00:35.070] | Man, those horses can crap. |
| [00:38.742] | Next up is a marching band from Muskoqee, Oklahoma. |
| [00:41.181] | Muskoqee? That' s like four hours from Tulsa! |
| [00:46.577] | And here' s the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap.. Days of Our Lives. |
| [00:51.835] | Oh, my God!! |
| [00:57.414] | Aren' t you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of our Lives? |
| [01:00.591] | Yeah. I forgot! I' m supposed to be there! |
| [01:05.878] | I can' t believe I forgot! |
| [01:07.046] | I usually write stuff like this down on my arm! |
| [01:12.145] | Stupid long sleeves! |
| [01:16.280] | What are you gonna do? |
| [01:17.717] | I' ll come up with a good reason why I wasn' t there. |
| [01:21.463] | The producer are gonna be mad. |
| [01:23.117] | They sat us down and said:" Everyone has to be there, 6 a. m. sharp. That means you, Tribbiani." |
| [01:29.364] | Like I was some kind of idiot. |
| [01:34.136] | Well, you proved them wrong. |
| [02:25.269] | Oh, Emma |
| [02:27.421] | This is your first Thanksgiving. What are you thank for? Mommy' s boobies? |
| [02:35.881] | A lot of people are thankful for those. |
| [02:39.703] | Hello? Rachel? |
| [02:43.201] | Who is it? |
| [02:44.390] | It' s your favorite sister. |
| [02:47.073] | Jill? Amy! |
| [02:50.094] | Hide my rings. |
| [02:56.975] | Amy! Happy Thanksgaving. |
| [03:05.174] | Do you have a hair straightener? |
| [03:12.142] | Hair straightener. |
| [03:14.959] | I haven' t seen you in like a year |
| [03:16.887] | I know. I know. I' ve just been crazed. |
| [03:19.862] | Well, me too. I had a baby |
| [03:23.007] | I decorated Dad' s office. |
| [03:26.015] | Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing. |
| [03:32.722] | Listen, about that hair straightener, honey I really need. I' m gonna have dinner at my boyfriend' s house. |
| [03:39.358] | Oh my God. |
| [03:41.540] | Is this Emmett? |
| [03:48.559] | It' s Emma. |
| [03:49.871] | It' s a girl? |
| [03:53.344] | Hey Amy. |
| [03:54.569] | Amy, you remember Ross? |
| [03:57.211] | Not really. |
| [03:59.355] | But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date. |
| [04:05.911] | That was me. No, he was this creepy guy from high school |
| [04:11.085] | who had this huge crush on her since, like, the ninth grade. |
| [04:14.723] | Still me |
| [04:17.761] | No, I' m not talking about you. |
| [04:19.267] | It was your fat friend' s brother with that bad Afro. |
| [04:22.144] | Okay Amy. I' m gonna save you time, okay? |
| [04:24.197] | All me! |
| [04:30.828] | Careful. Careful. Careful |
| [04:36.789] | I' ll tell you what, for the rest of our lives. I' ll be careful until told otherwise. |
| [04:43.881] | This isn' t the china we picked out. I know. |
| [04:46.400] | After you left the store, I chose different ones. |
| [04:50.263] | Why? No offense, honey. |
| [04:51.762] | but your taste is a little feminine for me. |
| [04:54.251] | Suddenly flowers are feminine? |
| [04:58.368] | Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [05:01.327] | Happy Thanksgiving. Phoebe! |
| [05:03.884] | What' s going on. Joe? |
| [05:04.845] | Listen. I need a good lie. |
| [05:07.946] | How about the whole " man walking on the moon" thing, you know?" |
| [05:12.713] | You can see the strings people! |
| [05:16.532] | No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn' t at a work thing today. |
| [05:20.461] | Honey you stink at lying. |
| [05:22.382] | I do not. |
| [05:23.362] | Really? Let me ask you something. |
| [05:24.819] | Yesterday at the coffeehouse.. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it? |
| [05:31.864] | Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse.. and a raccoon ran in |
| [05:36.619] | And went straight for your muffin. I said:" Hey don' t eat that! That' s Phoebe' s!" |
| [05:40.265] | And he said: |
| [05:43.855] | He said," Joey, you stink at lying." |
| [05:46.396] | What am I gonna do? |
| [05:48.104] | Don' t worry. We' ll come up with a lie. |
| [05:49.666] | I' ll help you practice. |
| [05:50.550] | Great. That' d be great. Thank you |
| [05:52.433] | Sure. What was the work thing? |
| [05:55.846] | " Pick up Grandma at the airport." Oh , man! |
| [06:03.079] | She' s precious. |
| [06:05.435] | Do you ever worry that she' s gonna get your real nose? |
| [06:09.199] | Amy.. |
| [06:12.149] | Yes I do. I really do. |
| [06:19.054] | Hello? Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs? |
| [06:24.501] | Sure. We don' t live there, but.. |
| [06:28.059] | Seriously? It' s just these rooms? |
| [06:32.388] | I thought you were a doctor. |
| [06:34.350] | Yean no. Ross has a Ph. D. |
| [06:41.938] | God.. She is unbelievable |
| [06:45.175] | I know. I mean, a PhD is just as good as an MD |
| [06:48.436] | Sure. Ross, yeah! |
| [06:50.438] | If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. |
| [06:57.291] | Stupid Thanksgiving. What? What ? What happened? |
| [07:00.937] | My boyfriend canceled on me. |
| [07:02.825] | I mean, I finally find a real relationship, someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town! |
| [07:10.570] | I swear, it' s almost not even worth dating married guys. |
| [07:14.237] | Don' t say that. |
| [07:18.505] | God, I was so looking forward to this. |
| [07:20.136] | It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. |
| [07:23.339] | We were gonna have sushi. |
| [07:27.105] | Amy.. don' t cry |
| [07:30.521] | Ross, can I talk to you in private? |
| [07:32.807] | Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or? |
| [07:39.241] | Look. I was thinking. If it' s okay with Monica.. |
| [07:41.818] | I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. |
| [07:45.473] | You know, I think that' s a great idea. It' ll be like the Pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. |
| [07:52.638] | Look. I know she' s a little tough to take. |
| [07:54.539] | But she has nowhere to go and she' s my sister. She' s Emma' s aunt. |
| [08:00.374] | And I would like them to bond. |
| [08:02.589] | Ok, fine. I don' t want them bonding too much. |
| [08:05.710] | I don' t want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. |
| [08:08.061] | Ross you know what she may need one. We' re just gonna have to make our peace with that! |
| [08:19.611] | Hey you guys. This is my sister Amy. |
| [08:25.259] | This is Chandler. Joey. Phoebe. and you know Mon. |
| [08:29.310] | Oh my god. You' re on Days of Our lives! |
| [08:33.308] | Yeah |
| [08:34.933] | Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you! |
| [08:40.363] | Happy Thanksgiving! |
| [08:48.376] | So welcome. Is this the first time you' re seeing Emma? |
| [08:51.411] | Yeah.. I think so |
| [08:52.991] | It' s nice to meet you. Emma |
| [08:56.560] | Phoebe. That' s a funny noise. |
| [09:03.878] | Phoebe? I still need some help here. Right okay. |
| [09:08.031] | So it' s not just the lie you tell but it' s the way you tell it. For example |
| [09:12.048] | If you look at the ground when you' re talking, people know you' re lying. |
| [09:16.513] | I don' t know why this is so hard for me , lying is basically just acting |
| [09:21.027] | and I am a terrific actor |
| [09:22.298] | You' re a terrific actor |
| [09:26.986] | Hey. Where' s the baby? |
| [09:28.929] | We just put her down for a nap. |
| [09:30.864] | Listen I was just thinking, you know what would be incredible? |
| [09:34.647] | If you guys died.. |
| [09:38.869] | Thank you Amy. |
| [09:41.296] | No, no then I would get the baby |
| [09:44.304] | It would be just like a movie. |
| [09:46.598] | At first I wouldn' t know what to do with her and then I would rise to the occasion |
| [09:48.720] | I' d get a makeover and get married |
| [09:53.132] | That' s a great movie! |
| [09:57.380] | Now listen. Not that you guys could stop me or anything |
| [10:00.166] | Because you know you' d be dead. |
| [10:02.734] | But I was thinking about changing her name |
| [10:05.331] | I' m just not really a big fan of Emily. |
| [10:09.286] | Emma |
| [10:11.536] | Emma? Ross wants you. |
| [10:16.053] | Pheobe! |
| [10:19.269] | Why does she keep making that noise? |
| [10:25.124] | Honey I don' t know how to tell you this .. |
| [10:27.131] | But if something were to happen to Ross or myself |
| [10:31.270] | you would' t get the baby |
| [10:34.088] | Well who would? |
| [10:36.338] | Well we haven' t officially asked them yet |
| [10:39.019] | But we would want Monica and Chandler |
| [10:42.753] | I can' t believe you' d want us to raise Emma |
| [10:45.474] | Oh my God. I' m so moved. |
| [10:47.689] | I don' t believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die |
| [10:49.886] | and I don' t get your baby? |
| [10:52.718] | Amy see.. we' re a lot closer to Monica and Chandler |
| [10:56.454] | We see them every day. And truthfully you don' t seem connected to the baby |
| [11:00.656] | Connected? To what? She' s a lump. |
| [11:06.992] | You know guys I' ve gotta say this means so much to me |
| [11:09.863] | I mean that you would trust me .. with your child |
| [11:14.009] | I mean we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own |
| [11:20.060] | You know. I' ve had my doubts about my skills as a father. |
| [11:23.132] | But.. that you two .. that you two.. |
| [11:29.204] | This guy? Seriously? |
| [11:37.527] | |
| [11:39.252] | Okay. It' s time for dinner |
| [11:41.477] | Everyone we' re using our fancy china and it' s very expensive. So please be careful |
| [11:48.756] | |
| [11:55.426] | Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be wellreceived. |
| [12:06.962] | Hey.. How come my plates less fancy than everyone else' s? |
| [12:13.674] | Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? |
| [12:16.560] | No honey.. That' s a special plate |
| [12:19.298] | See.. it' s a game. Whoever gets that plate wins. |
| [12:25.290] | I can' t believe I won! |
| [12:28.715] | You know this is such a slap in the face . I mean I' m your sister and you would give you baby to these strangers over me |
| [12:36.460] | Monica is Ross' sister |
| [12:39.527] | No Ross' sister was really fat. |
| [12:44.777] | That was me |
| [12:47.143] | No she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy |
| [12:51.630] | Amy you' ve got to stop doing that! |
| [12:55.946] | |
| [13:00.342] | Okay. listen I know you' re having a bit of a family crisis but you don' t have to take it out on the plates. |
| [13:06.034] | I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut the food like this.. |
| [13:15.245] | See it , this way you protect plates and let' s face it you have fun |
| [13:21.834] | Okay how about this? If you guys die .. and the crazy plate lady dies |
| [13:28.314] | Then do I get the baby? |
| [13:31.679] | No if crazy plate lady.. |
| [13:35.730] | If Monica dies then I would get Emma. Right? |
| [13:39.482] | |
| [13:42.916] | Well, actually. |
| [13:44.235] | Actually what? |
| [13:45.730] | It' s just that in that case then Emma would go to my parents |
| [13:52.938] | What ? Hurts, doesn' t it? |
| [13:57.604] | Who has to die for me to get her? |
| [14:00.599] | |
| [14:07.666] | So if Moinca' s not around I' m not good enough to raise Emma? |
| [14:11.189] | No that is not what we' re saying |
| [14:13.920] | Yeah.. he' s lying. He looked down |
| [14:17.861] | What' s wrong with me? Am I incompetent? |
| [14:20.202] | Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you |
| [14:26.819] | You' re taking this the wrong way. We think you are going to be a wonderful parent |
| [14:31.788] | It' s jus, you' re more the you know .. fun parent |
| [14:35.738] | Yeah and we wanna make sure that Emma also has someone like Monica |
| [14:41.171] | who' s more of a disciplinarian. Someone who can be firm and strict |
| [14:45.570] | That' s not how you see me , is it? |
| [14:48.451] | No you' re all about the fun |
| [14:53.719] | |
| [14:57.268] | I may not know a lot about babies but do you really think I' m not capable |
| [15:01.217] | No. You both are equally capable |
| [15:03.872] | It' s just you' re strongest when you' re together. |
| [15:06.989] | Okay, So if we both had Emma and I died, she ' d have to give her up |
| [15:13.907] | Sure, Monica would have to give he up |
| [15:16.323] | |
| [15:17.506] | I lie better than that right? |
| [15:21.225] | |
| [15:21.636] | Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die I get Emma , then my wife dies. Then Emma |
| [15:27.542] | the one tiny ray of hope left in my life.. gets taken away from me? |
| [15:31.242] | There' s your movie. |
| [15:36.057] | |
| [15:37.555] | Hey, there you are |
| [15:39.880] | You disappeared after dinner |
| [15:41.622] | Did somebody miss me? Was there a child to raise poorly? |
| [15:46.722] | Ross and Rachel don' t know what they' re saying. |
| [15:50.102] | It' s not like they' re so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a fiveyearold condom |
| [15:59.044] | No they' re right. I' m not a strong father figure, and I never will be. |
| [16:03.626] | No you learn these things. You grow into it. |
| [16:05.280] | Yeah, but it' s not who I am |
| [16:07.193] | Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. It' s true. |
| [16:11.994] | And look everybody knows it |
| [16:13.681] | I don' t know it |
| [16:15.425] | I wanna have a kid with you because I think you' ll be an amazing dad. |
| [16:19.257] | At the fun parts and at the hard parts |
| [16:22.712] | Well can you picture me saying " Go to your room you' re grounded"? |
| [16:25.878] | Can you hear me say" You' re grounded"? |
| [16:28.492] | You said that to me last week |
| [16:32.631] | How hard is it?" No shoes on the furniture!" |
| [16:38.080] | |
| [16:41.629] | The producer from Davs left a message asking why I wasn' t at the parade |
| [16:47.464] | They said everybody' s really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa! |
| [16:53.031] | It' s okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you. |
| [16:55.577] | It' s easy to remember and it doesn' t invite a lot of questions. |
| [16:59.299] | You weren' t at the parade because you had family emergency |
| [17:03.562] | I like that! Yeah |
| [17:06.528] | I wasn' t at the parade because I had a family emergency. |
| [17:09.368] | What happened? |
| [17:11.466] | My sister' s raccoon came.. No nothing with a raccoon! |
| [17:16.777] | |
| [17:17.649] | Wait.. what are you doing? setting the table |
| [17:19.837] | We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert, too |
| [17:24.248] | How nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. |
| [17:35.417] | Hey dude you okay? |
| [17:36.878] | Sorry about before |
| [17:37.927] | That' s okay. You' re totally right I don' t know anything about disciplining a child. |
| [17:42.334] | But it did hurt my feelings. And I want you to know that if I died .. you don' t get joey |
| [17:53.089] | |
| [18:02.769] | In case you hadn' t noticed I' m not talking to you |
| [18:08.250] | You know.. this is just.. This is classic Rachel |
| [18:11.060] | Oh yeah right. Remember in high school when I died and didn' t give you my baby? |
| [18:18.298] | This might be my one chance to have a child Rachel |
| [18:22.336] | I mean you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career |
| [18:24.168] | What career? I' m a decorator |
| [18:28.635] | You decorate Dad' s office and now you' re a decorator? |
| [18:32.269] | okay I went to the zoo yesterday. Now I' m a koala bear. |
| [18:39.927] | Why can' t you ever be supportive? |
| [18:42.018] | You wanna talk supportive? |
| [18:43.872] | You didn' t come and visit me when I was in hospital having the baby! |
| [18:48.004] | You didn' t come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done! |
| [18:53.391] | I did the first time |
| [18:57.980] | You know what? You wanna know why I am not giving Emily to you? |
| [19:01.076] | Emma |
| [19:01.605] | Whose side are you on?! |
| [19:05.418] | I' m not giving you Emma because you can' t handle the responsibility of a child. |
| [19:10.147] | Well how hard could it be? You do it |
| [19:17.915] | You wanna know why you don' t want me to have the baby? |
| [19:21.255] | Because you don' t want me to be happy |
| [19:23.707] | You have always been jealous of me |
| [19:26.061] | Jealous of what? |
| [19:27.494] | Of you lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? your total disregard for other people' s feelings? |
| [19:34.673] | To name a few |
| [19:38.942] | You know. You' ve always been like this. You had to have everything. |
| [19:40.906] | and I couldn' t have anything. |
| [19:44.478] | Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean do you even realize how much that hurt me? |
| [19:50.722] | Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with hime! |
| [19:53.191] | Come on that was 20 years ago |
| [19:54.340] | Get over it |
| [19:56.943] | I cannot believe that I invited you here today! |
| [19:59.877] | Yeah well you know what I cannot believe |
| [20:01.705] | That my socalled sister |
| [20:03.808] | Gets a 30 percent discount from Ralph Lauren. |
| [20:06.693] | and I still have to pay retail? |
| [20:10.161] | It' s 45. |
| [20:14.193] | You bitch |
| [20:18.541] | You just think you' re so perfect with your new baby and your small apartment |
| [20:26.043] | Well let me tell you something. |
| [20:28.297] | Your baby isn' t even that cute |
| [20:32.447] | Too far Amy. Too far |
| [20:38.279] | |
| [20:40.183] | Take it back. No what are you gonna do ? Make me? |
| [20:41.329] | Hey man I work out! |
| [20:47.679] | So do I |
| [20:48.591] | I do Pilates |
| [20:49.560] | I do yoga. |
| [20:50.651] | Bring it on! |
| [20:55.744] | Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes! |
| [20:57.831] | Did you just push me? Yeah I think I did |
| [21:00.000] | All right that' s it. |
| [21:01.411] | Forget the bubble wrap! There isn' t time! |
| [21:12.858] | Oh my god. Shouldn' t we stop this? |
| [21:15.195] | Are you out of your mind? Let' s throw some jellO on them! |
| [21:36.733] | All right that is it! This our apartment and you cannot behave this way! |
| [21:41.880] | If you can' t act your age you shouldn' t be here at all |
| [21:44.566] | Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out. |
| [21:50.070] | but they' re very important to Monica. |
| [21:52.000] | And I want you to apologize to her, now |
| [21:55.598] | I' m sorry. Mon, I' m so sorry |
| [21:58.753] | Okay That' s better |
| [22:00.293] | Now I want you to apologize to each other and mean it |
| [22:03.809] | Sorry. Sorry |
| [22:06.140] | By the way that fight was totally arousing |
| [22:13.753] | Dude. Well done. If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies. you can totally take care of Emma. |
| [22:22.118] | Yeah, well thanks. |
| [22:24.336] | So.. so now do I get Joey? |
| [22:28.808] | Okay . but you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose. |
| [22:38.903] | Are you okay? mon? |
| [22:41.109] | I mean these things happen. |
| [22:43.237] | I means it' s just a plate. It' s not somebody died |
| [22:47.072] | It' s all right. You can mourn |
| [22:49.145] | Thank you. It was so beautiful |
| [22:55.369] | I' m gonna go to Joey' s and get the pies. |
| [22:57.408] | Actually not pies. It' s just a pie |
| [23:02.751] | I don' t care |
| [23:05.013] | Oh my god. I' ve lost the will to scold |
| [23:12.962] | Look Amy.. |
| [23:15.315] | We got a little.. a little out of control over there |
| [23:20.687] | And I' m sorry. You are my sister and if it really means that much to you |
| [23:28.028] | So you' re gonna give me the baby? |
| [23:29.839] | No I was.. I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount |
| [23:35.308] | You are not gonna regret this |
| [23:41.740] | She needs changing. |
| [23:42.723] | No no no . I' ll get her |
| [23:44.907] | I am super confident , totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma |
| [23:49.222] | I' ll be right there, Emma |
| [23:50.356] | Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. |
| [23:59.134] | Well. what do you know? I guess I' ll be the one who dies first |
| [24:18.679] | Does Monica know about you breaking her plates yet? |
| [24:20.642] | Nope |
| [24:21.509] | Broke them all, huh? Yep |
| [24:23.059] | You gonna tell her? Nope |
| [24:27.624] | Hey . So I' m gonna put the plates back |
| [24:31.052] | I think you' re right. We shouldn' t use these plates for a long time |
| [24:34.479] | Like only if the queen comes? |
| [24:35.934] | Maybe not even then. |
| [24:39.196] | Hey I did it |
| [24:40.643] | I told my producer I had a family emergency. He totally bought it |
| [24:44.855] | Thanks for teaching me how to lie Phebs |
| [24:46.227] | No problem. Next week, stealing |
| [24:50.791] | Bye plates |
| [24:51.908] | You told her you broke all the plates? |
| [24:55.968] | What? Something happened with the plates? |
| [25:00.133] | Yeah.. this raccoon came in.. |
| [00:00.411] | 亲爱的，你可以帮我把盘子拿下来吗 |
| [00:03.046] | 好的，嘿，我有个主意 |
| [00:05.091] | 今天用我们的结婚瓷器好不好 |
| [00:07.029] | 不，我只是认为我们应该把瓷器留到 |
| [00:08.457] | 真正特别的场合使用 |
| [00:08.960] | 像是英国女王来访的时候 |
| [00:13.479] | 亲爱的，她一直爽约，你该懂那是什么意思 |
| [00:17.640] | 打破了怎么办呢，它们可是很贵的 |
| [00:19.791] | 东西我们一直不用的话，又有什么意义呢 |
| [00:23.079] | 好吧，但是如果打破了，然后女王又要来访 |
| [00:26.081] | 我会跟她解释的 |
| [00:27.609] | 你以为我会让你跟她说话啊 |
| [00:31.979] | 哇 今年的游行真是棒 |
| [00:35.070] | 天呐，这些马还真能拉屎 |
| [00:38.742] | 下一个游行队伍是来自奥克拉荷马州的马斯科吉 |
| [00:41.181] | 马斯科吉？离塔尔萨才四小时车程 |
| [00:46.577] | 接下来是来自日间肥皂剧《我们的日子》的众星们 |
| [00:51.835] | 奥我的天 |
| [00:57.414] | 你不也参演了热门日间肥皂剧《我们的日子》吗 |
| [01:00.591] | 对啊 我忘了 我应该要参加游行的 |
| [01:05.878] | 我不敢相信我忘了 |
| [01:07.046] | 我通常会写在手臂上的 |
| [01:12.145] | 该死的长袖！ |
| [01:16.280] | 你要怎么办呢 |
| [01:17.717] | 我得找个好借口说明为什么没到场 |
| [01:21.463] | 制作人一定会很生气 |
| [01:23.117] | 他们昨天把我们叫进去说：“大家都要在早上六点整到，尤其是你，崔比安尼 |
| [01:29.364] | 好像我是什么笨蛋似的 |
| [01:34.136] | 你刚证明了他们是错的 |
| [02:25.269] | 奥 艾玛 |
| [02:27.421] | 这是你的第一个感恩节 你要感谢什么呢 妈咪的乳房吗 |
| [02:35.881] | 很多人都会感谢那东西的 |
| [02:39.703] | 哈啰 瑞秋 |
| [02:43.201] | 谁啊 |
| [02:44.390] | 是你最喜欢的妹妹 |
| [02:47.073] | 吉儿？-艾米 |
| [02:50.094] | 把我的戒指藏起来 |
| [02:56.975] | 艾米 感恩节快乐 |
| [03:05.174] | 你有没有直发器呢 |
| [03:12.142] | 直发器 |
| [03:14.959] | 我好像有一年没见到你了 |
| [03:16.887] | 我知道 我知道 我忙坏了 |
| [03:19.862] | 奥 我也是 我生了小孩 |
| [03:23.007] | 我装潢了爸爸的办公室 |
| [03:26.015] | 是吗 除非你把桌子从阴道里挤出来,否则不能相提并论 |
| [03:32.722] | 听着 关于直发器的事 我真的需要 我要到男朋友家用晚餐 |
| [03:39.358] | 我的天 |
| [03:41.540] | 那是艾美特吗 |
| [03:48.559] | 是艾玛 |
| [03:49.871] | 是个女孩？ |
| [03:53.344] | |
| [03:54.569] | 艾米 你记得罗斯吧 |
| [03:57.211] | 不太记得 |
| [03:59.355] | 但你比她之前约会的呆头鹅男友可爱多了 |
| [04:05.911] | 那人就是我.不 他是高中时代的怪男生 |
| [04:11.085] | 好像从九年级开始就很喜欢她 |
| [04:14.723] | 还是我 |
| [04:17.761] | 不 我不是在说你 |
| [04:19.267] | 就是你那个胖朋友的哥哥留着可笑的黑人头 |
| [04:22.144] | 好了艾米 我来给你省点时间吧 |
| [04:24.197] | 都是我 |
| [04:30.828] | 小心 小心 小心 |
| [04:36.789] | 不如这样吧 下半辈子我都会很小心，除非你有其他指示 |
| [04:43.881] | 这不是我们选的瓷器 - 我知道 |
| [04:46.400] | 你离开店之后，我选了别的 |
| [04:50.263] | 为什么？无意冒犯 亲爱的 |
| [04:51.762] | 你的品味对我而言太女性化了 |
| [04:54.251] | 花朵图案就显得女性化吗 |
| [04:58.368] | 嘿 大家好 感恩节快乐 |
| [05:01.327] | 感恩节快乐 菲比 |
| [05:03.884] | 怎么了 乔伊 |
| [05:04.845] | 我需要编个漂亮谎话 |
| [05:07.946] | 阿波罗登月”那个谎言如何 |
| [05:12.713] | 根本就可以看到线，愚民们 |
| [05:16.532] | 不 不 我需要谎言来解释为什么我今天错过了件工作上的事 |
| [05:20.461] | 亲爱的 你说谎技术烂透了 |
| [05:22.382] | 我才不是 |
| [05:23.362] | 是吗 让我问你 |
| [05:24.819] | 昨天在咖啡厅，我去卫生间回来的时候，我的松饼就不见了 是谁拿走的 |
| [05:31.864] | 有人打开咖啡厅门，然后一只浣熊跑了进来 |
| [05:36.619] | 直接拿走你的松饼 我说”嘿 不能吃 那是菲比的” |
| [05:40.265] | 然后它说 |
| [05:43.855] | 他说“乔伊 你说谎技术烂透了” |
| [05:46.396] | 我该怎么办呢 |
| [05:48.104] | 别担心 我们会想个好谎话的 |
| [05:49.666] | 我会帮你练习的 |
| [05:50.550] | 太好了 太棒了 谢谢你 |
| [05:52.433] | 没问题，你错过了什么工作的事 |
| [05:55.846] | 到机场接奶奶 奥天呐 |
| [06:03.079] | 她是珍宝 |
| [06:05.435] | 你会不会担心她会遗传到你整容前的鼻子 |
| [06:09.199] | 艾米 |
| [06:12.149] | 是的我会 真的担心 |
| [06:19.054] | 是 等一下 我可以到楼上讲吗 |
| [06:24.501] | 当然 我们不住楼上，但是 |
| [06:28.059] | 不是吧 只有这几间房间？ |
| [06:32.388] | 我还以为你是个有钱医生呢 |
| [06:34.350] | 不 罗斯有博士学位 |
| [06:41.938] | 天啊 她简直不可理喻 |
| [06:45.175] | 是啊 博士学位就和医学学位一样好啊 |
| [06:48.436] | 是啊 罗斯 |
| [06:50.438] | 如果我在餐厅突发心脏病我会希望你带着化石刷站在一边 |
| [06:57.291] | 该死的感恩节 - 怎么了发生了什么事 |
| [07:00.937] | 我男朋友取消约会了 |
| [07:02.825] | 我好不容易才找到一段真感情,一个可以和我共度今天的人，然后他老婆竟然回来了 |
| [07:10.570] | 我发誓，跟已婚男人约会真是不值得 |
| [07:14.237] | 别那样说 |
| [07:18.505] | 天啊 我本来很期待今天的 |
| [07:20.136] | 本来会是很美好的感恩节的 |
| [07:23.339] | 我们本来要吃寿司的 |
| [07:27.105] | 艾米，别哭 |
| [07:30.521] | 罗斯 我可以私下和你谈下吗 |
| [07:32.807] | 当然 你想要去楼上或是？ |
| [07:39.241] | 我在想 如果莫妮卡不介意的话 |
| [07:41.818] | 我想邀请艾米跟我们共度感恩节 |
| [07:45.473] | 我认为这是个好主意 就像清教徒把梅毒带给美国印第安人一样 |
| [07:52.638] | 听着 我知道她有点难搞 |
| [07:54.539] | 但她没有其他地方可以去了,而且她是我妹妹，是艾玛的姨妈 |
| [08:00.374] | 我希望她们相处融洽 |
| [08:02.589] | 好吧 但我不想她们相处太融洽 |
| [08:05.710] | 我不想她告诉艾玛说她需要鼻部整形 |
| [08:08.061] | 罗斯 她很可能会需要的,我们也只能接受了 |
| [08:19.611] | 嘿大家 这是我妹妹艾米 |
| [08:25.259] | 这是钱德勒 乔伊 菲比 还有你认识的莫妮卡 |
| [08:29.310] | 我的天 你有演《我们的日子》 |
| [08:33.308] | 是的 |
| [08:34.933] | 哇 他们一定帮你化了浓妆 |
| [08:40.363] | 感恩节快乐 |
| [08:48.376] | 欢迎 这是你第一次见到艾玛吗 |
| [08:51.411] | 是的 我想是的 |
| [08:52.991] | 很高兴认识你 艾玛 |
| [08:56.560] | 菲比 - 声音真好玩 |
| [09:03.878] | 菲比 我还需要你的帮助 -好的 |
| [09:08.031] | 不止是你说的谎言本身,你说的方式也很重要，比如 |
| [09:12.048] | 如果你说的时候看着地上，人们就知道你在说谎 |
| [09:16.513] | 我不知道为什么说谎对我这么困难，说谎基本就和演戏一样 |
| [09:21.027] | 而我是演技精湛的演员 |
| [09:22.298] | 你是演技“精湛”的演员 |
| [09:26.986] | 嘿 宝宝在哪呢 |
| [09:28.929] | 我们刚把她抱去睡了 |
| [09:30.864] | 听着我刚刚在想 你们知道什么会很棒吗 |
| [09:34.647] | 如果你们死了 |
| [09:38.869] | 谢谢你 艾米 |
| [09:41.296] | 不 然后我就可以得到宝宝 |
| [09:44.304] | 就像是电影情节一样 |
| [09:46.598] | 刚开始我毫无头绪，然后时机来临时 |
| [09:48.720] | 我会完全改变然后结婚 |
| [09:53.132] | 真是个好电影！ |
| [09:57.380] | 听着 反正你们也不能阻止我 |
| [10:00.166] | 因为你们已经死了 |
| [10:02.734] | 但是我在想帮她改名字 |
| [10:05.331] | 我就是不大喜欢艾米莉 |
| [10:09.286] | 艾玛 |
| [10:11.536] | 艾玛 罗斯叫你 |
| [10:16.053] | 菲比 |
| [10:19.269] | 她为什么一直发出那种怪声呢？ |
| [10:25.124] | 亲爱的 我不知道要如何告诉你 |
| [10:27.131] | 但如果我跟罗斯发生了什么事 |
| [10:31.270] | 你不会得到宝宝的 |
| [10:34.088] | 那谁会呢 |
| [10:36.338] | 我们还没有正式问过他们 |
| [10:39.019] | 但我们希望是莫妮卡和钱德勒 |
| [10:42.753] | 我不敢相信你们会让我们抚养艾玛 |
| [10:45.474] | 我的天 我真是太感动了 |
| [10:47.689] | 我不敢相信 等一下 你们死了 |
| [10:49.886] | 然后宝宝不是我的？ |
| [10:52.718] | 艾米 我们跟莫妮卡和钱德勒更亲近 |
| [10:56.454] | 我们每天都见面 而且说实话 你好像并不太和宝宝亲近 |
| [11:00.656] | 亲近？亲近什么 她只是一堆肉 |
| [11:06.992] | 我必须跟你们说 这对我意义重大 |
| [11:09.863] | 我是说 你们肯相信我 把孩子托付给我 |
| [11:14.009] | 大家都知道莫妮卡和我一直试着想要生小孩 |
| [11:20.060] | 我也有怀疑过自己当父亲的能力 |
| [11:23.132] | 但是 你俩 |
| [11:29.204] | 这个人吗？ 真的吗 |
| [11:37.527] | |
| [11:39.252] | 晚餐时间啦 |
| [11:41.477] | 各位 我们在用高档的瓷器,它们很贵，所以请小心 |
| [11:48.756] | |
| [11:55.426] | 好了 再说明一次,不要拿这些盘子开玩笑 |
| [12:06.962] | 为什么我的盘子不如别人的高档？ |
| [12:13.674] | 你不信任我 不让我用你的高档餐盘么 |
| [12:16.560] | 不 亲爱的 那是特别的盘子 |
| [12:19.298] | 其实是一个游戏 拿到那个盘子的人就赢了 |
| [12:25.290] | 我不敢相信我赢了 |
| [12:28.715] | 简直就像狠狠地扇了我一耳光，我是说 我是你妹妹,你却把宝宝给这些陌生人 而不给我 |
| [12:36.460] | 莫妮卡是罗斯的妹妹 |
| [12:39.527] | 不 罗斯的妹妹很肥的 |
| [12:44.777] | 那是我 |
| [12:47.143] | 不，她上学时是个蠢蠢的女生 就像小狗一样跟着瑞秋 |
| [12:51.630] | 艾米 你不能再这样了 |
| [12:55.946] | |
| [13:00.342] | 好了我知道你现在正在经历家庭危机但你不用把气出在盘子身上 |
| [13:06.034] | 其实我认为每个人都应该这样切食物.. |
| [13:15.245] | 这样不仅可以保护盘子 而且老实说 还挺好玩的 |
| [13:21.834] | 好吧那这样呢 如果你们死了 而且疯狂盘子女士也死了 |
| [13:28.314] | 那我可以得到宝宝了么 |
| [13:31.679] | 不 如果疯狂盘子女士 |
| [13:35.730] | 如果莫妮卡死了,那艾玛就是我的了，对吗 |
| [13:39.482] | |
| [13:42.916] | 其实.. |
| [13:44.235] | 其实怎样 |
| [13:45.730] | 只是 如果那种情况 那艾玛就会跟我父母一起生活 |
| [13:52.938] | 什么？ 很伤心 对不对 |
| [13:57.604] | 我要等到谁死了才能得到她？ |
| [14:00.599] | |
| [14:07.666] | 所以如果莫妮卡不在了,我就不够格去抚养艾玛了吗 |
| [14:11.189] | 不 我们不是这个意思 |
| [14:13.920] | 他在说谎，他看地上了 |
| [14:17.861] | 我有什么不好的呢 我无法胜任吗 |
| [14:20.202] | 最后从弄死你们三个的事故中活下来的可是我 |
| [14:26.819] | 你可能有点误会，我们认为你会是很好的父亲 |
| [14:31.788] | 只是你是比较风趣的父亲 |
| [14:35.738] | 是的 我们希望艾玛也有像莫妮卡这样的人照顾 |
| [14:41.171] | 比较有纪律的人 比较坚定 严格的人 |
| [14:45.570] | 你们不是这样看我的吧？ |
| [14:48.451] | 不 你真的很有趣 |
| [14:53.719] | |
| [14:57.268] | 我或许不是很了解宝宝 但是你们真的认为我没有能力吗 |
| [15:01.217] | 不 你们两个能力相当 |
| [15:03.872] | 只不过你们在一起的时候是最强的 |
| [15:06.989] | 好的 如果我们一起得到艾玛 然后我死了，她也不能拥有她 |
| [15:13.907] | 当然 莫妮卡也必须把她让出来 |
| [15:16.323] | |
| [15:17.506] | 我说谎至少比他好 对吧 |
| [15:21.225] | |
| [15:21.636] | 让我说清楚，如果我的两个朋友死了，我得到了艾玛，然后我老婆死了，那艾玛 |
| [15:27.542] | 我生命中剩下的唯一一小块希望 也会从我身边被带走 |
| [15:31.242] | 真是精彩的电影 |
| [15:36.057] | |
| [15:37.555] | 嘿 你在这 |
| [15:39.880] | 你晚餐之后就消失了 |
| [15:41.622] | 有人想起我吗 有婴儿需要被可怜父亲养大么 |
| [15:46.722] | 罗斯和瑞秋根本不知道在瞎说什么 |
| [15:50.102] | 他们自己也不是多有责任感, 艾玛只不过是一瓶红酒和一个过期保险套的意外产物 |
| [15:59.044] | 不 他们是对的,我不是个坚强的父亲，我永远都不会是 |
| [16:03.626] | 不 这些是需要学习的,你会逐渐学会的 |
| [16:05.280] | 是的 但那就不是我了 |
| [16:07.193] | 他们说的都是我担心有小孩之后，会面对的问题，那些是真的 |
| [16:11.994] | 而且 大家都知道 |
| [16:13.681] | 我不知道 |
| [16:15.425] | 我要和你生小孩是因为我认为你会是个很棒的父亲 |
| [16:19.257] | 不管是风趣还是有纪律 |
| [16:22.712] | 你可以想象我说 “回房去 你被禁足了”吗 |
| [16:25.878] | 你能想象我说“你被禁足了吗” |
| [16:28.492] | 你上星期才那样对我说过 |
| [16:32.631] | 能有多难？家具上不要穿鞋 |
| [16:38.080] | |
| [16:41.629] | 制作人刚刚留言问我为什么没参加游行 |
| [16:47.464] | 他说大家都对我很不爽 而且他们都有见到圣诞老人 |
| [16:53.031] | 没关系 我帮你想了一个完美的谎言 |
| [16:55.577] | 非常好记 而且不会引来更多的问题 |
| [16:59.299] | 你没有参加游行是因为家里出了紧急状况 |
| [17:03.562] | 我喜欢耶 |
| [17:06.528] | 我没参加游行是因为家里出了紧急状况 |
| [17:09.368] | 发生了什么 |
| [17:11.466] | 我妹妹的浣熊.. 不 别扯浣熊了 |
| [17:16.777] | |
| [17:17.649] | 等等 你们在做什么 -收拾桌子 |
| [17:19.837] | 我们觉得用这些高档餐盘来吃甜点也不错 |
| [17:24.248] | 很不错 或许等下我们可以拿我的结婚礼服擦鼻涕 |
| [17:35.417] | 嘿 兄弟 你还好吗 |
| [17:36.878] | 刚刚的事我很抱歉 |
| [17:37.927] | 没关系，你是对的 我根本不懂如何管教孩子 |
| [17:42.334] | 但我还是很伤心 而且我要你知道 如果我死了 你别想得到乔伊 |
| [17:53.089] | |
| [18:02.769] | 若你还没注意到 我现在不会跟你讲话的 |
| [18:08.250] | 真的是 典型的瑞秋 |
| [18:11.060] | 对奥 记得在高中的时候我死也没把婴儿给你吗 |
| [18:18.298] | 这或许是我唯一拥有小孩的机会 瑞秋 |
| [18:22.336] | 你知道我一直忙于我的事业 |
| [18:24.168] | 什么事业？ 我是室内设计师 |
| [18:28.635] | 你装潢了爸爸的办公室 现在就是设计师了吗 |
| [18:32.269] | 好吧我昨天去了动物园现在我就是考拉了 |
| [18:39.927] | 你为什么不能多支持我一点 |
| [18:42.018] | 你要谈支持吗？ |
| [18:43.872] | 我在医院生小孩时你可没有来看过我 |
| [18:48.004] | 我在医院做嘴唇整形时你也没来看我 |
| [18:53.391] | 第一次我去了 |
| [18:57.980] | 你想知道我为什么不把艾米莉给你吗 |
| [19:01.076] | 艾玛 |
| [19:01.605] | 你站在哪边的？ |
| [19:05.418] | 我不给你艾玛是因为你无法扛起照顾小孩的责任 |
| [19:10.147] | 有多难？ 你都能做到 |
| [19:17.915] | 你知道你为什么不想让我得到宝宝吗 |
| [19:21.255] | 因为你不想看到我快乐 |
| [19:23.707] | 你总是在妒忌我 |
| [19:26.061] | 嫉妒你什么 |
| [19:27.494] | 嫉妒你没有责任感吗？还是你的不成熟 你完全忽略别人感受的作为吗 |
| [19:34.673] | 只是其中几项 |
| [19:38.942] | 你总是这样 你总是要所有的东西 |
| [19:40.906] | 而我什么都得不到 |
| [19:44.478] | 就像初中时，你抢走我的提米,你知道那伤我多深么 |
| [19:50.722] | 提米当时是我男友 而你偷偷跟他亲热 |
| [19:53.191] | 别这样 那已经是20年前的事了 |
| [19:54.340] | 别老记着 |
| [19:56.943] | 我不敢相信今天我竟然邀请了你 |
| [19:59.877] | 你知道我不敢相信的是什么吗 |
| [20:01.705] | 我所谓的姐姐 |
| [20:03.808] | 有罗夫罗兰七折的折扣优惠 |
| [20:06.693] | 而我却要付零售价？ |
| [20:10.161] | 是五五折 |
| [20:14.193] | 你个贱人 |
| [20:18.541] | 你就是认为自己很完美 由自己的新生孩子和你的小公寓 |
| [20:26.043] | 让我告诉你一件事 |
| [20:28.297] | 你的宝宝并不怎么可爱 |
| [20:32.447] | 太过分了 艾米 太过分了 |
| [20:38.279] | You take that back.-No 你收回那句话 - 不 |
| [20:40.183] | 收回！ 不 你能怎样 强迫我吗 |
| [20:41.329] | 嘿我有健身 |
| [20:47.679] | 我也是 |
| [20:48.591] | 我有做普拉提 |
| [20:49.560] | 我有做瑜伽 |
| [20:50.651] | 放马过来 |
| [20:55.744] | 把盘子放到箱子里 盘子放到箱子里 |
| [20:57.831] | 你刚刚推我了？ 是的没错 |
| [21:00.000] | 好了够了 |
| [21:01.411] | 别管泡泡包装了 没有时间了 |
| [21:12.858] | 天啊 我们应该阻止她们吗 |
| [21:15.195] | 你疯了吗 我们应该倒些果冻在她们身上 |
| [21:36.733] | 好了 到此为止 这是我们家 你们不可以有这种行为 |
| [21:41.880] | 如果你们不能表现得成熟 就不应该在这里 |
| [21:44.566] | 那些瓷器也许没有我挑的那些粉色瓷器好看 |
| [21:50.070] | 但它们对莫妮卡很重要 |
| [21:52.000] | 我要你们现在向她道歉 |
| [21:55.598] | 我很抱歉 -莫妮卡我很抱歉 |
| [21:58.753] | 这样好多了 |
| [22:00.293] | 现在 我要你们诚心诚意向彼此道歉 |
| [22:03.809] | 抱歉 |
| [22:06.140] | 对了 刚那场架真让人情欲高涨 |
| [22:13.753] | 兄弟做得好,如果我跟瑞秋还有莫妮卡死了，你可以照顾艾玛 |
| [22:22.118] | 是吗 感谢 |
| [22:24.336] | 那 那我可以得到之乔伊吗 |
| [22:28.808] | 好的 但你得知道他一天吃五餐而且还会塞硬币到鼻孔里 |
| [22:38.903] | 你还好吗？莫妮卡 |
| [22:41.109] | 这种事常发生的 |
| [22:43.237] | 只不过一个盘子而已 又不是有人死了 |
| [22:47.072] | 没关系 你可以哀悼的 |
| [22:49.145] | 谢谢 这些本来都很漂亮的 |
| [22:55.369] | 我要去乔伊家拿几个派 |
| [22:57.408] | 实际上不是几个派，只有一个派了 |
| [23:02.751] | 我不在乎 |
| [23:05.013] | 天啊 我已经没有骂人的力气了 |
| [23:12.962] | 听着艾米 |
| [23:15.315] | 我们有一点 刚有点失控 |
| [23:20.687] | 我很抱歉 如果你真的很在乎 |
| [23:28.028] | 你要把宝宝给我了吗 |
| [23:29.839] | 不 我只是想让你用我的罗夫罗兰折扣卡 |
| [23:35.308] | 你不会后悔的 |
| [23:41.740] | 她要换尿布了 |
| [23:42.723] | 不不 让我去 |
| [23:44.907] | 我超级有自信 很有责任感 而且是第四顺位有用艾玛抚养权的人 |
| [23:49.222] | 我马上就来 艾玛 |
| [23:50.356] | 先让我拿一下我的尿片袋 |
| [23:59.134] | 老实说 我觉得我将是第一个死的人 |
| [24:18.679] | 莫妮卡知道你打碎她瓷器的事吗 |
| [24:20.642] | 不知道 |
| [24:21.509] | 全打碎了是吗 - 是的 |
| [24:23.059] | 你要告诉她吗 - 不 |
| [24:27.624] | 嘿 我要把这些盘子放回去 |
| [24:31.052] | 我觉得你是对的,我们应该一段时间内都不再用这些盘子了 |
| [24:34.479] | 只有女王来的时候才用吗 |
| [24:35.934] | 也许到那时也不应用 |
| [24:39.196] | 嘿我做到了 |
| [24:40.643] | 我告诉我制作人 家里发生了紧急事件，他完全相信我 |
| [24:44.855] | 谢谢你教我怎么说谎 菲比 |
| [24:46.227] | 不用客气 下星期教你偷窃 |
| [24:50.791] | 再见盘子 |
| [24:51.908] | 你告诉她你打破所有的盘子了？ |
| [24:55.968] | 什么 盘子怎么了 |
| [25:00.133] | 额…. 一直浣熊跑进来 |
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